by Lisa De Jong
I trace my finger in a circle around his heart. “If you care about this baby the way you care for me, it won’t want for anything, Blake. The rest we’ll learn together.”
He kisses me once more. “If I had to do that moment all over again, that’s how I’d want it to be. From that second on, I would never have let you out of my sight.”
“I’ve forgiven you for that, too. You weren’t running from me. You were running from the past.”
“It’s not an excuse.”
“But I get it.”
He smiles big, tapping my nose with his finger. “Can I trust you in here for ten minutes without falling asleep?”
“What are you up to?” I ask narrowing my eyes at him.
“In ten minutes, get dressed and come out the back door. Follow the path.”
“The path?”
He climbs from the tub, wrapping one of grandma’s towels around himself. It barely wraps around his hips. “You’ll see when you get outside.”
I do as I’m told, replaying this whole night over in my head. Everything has happened so fast, but when I look back at it, it sums up our relationship. It’s rare … special. There’s no one else in the world I could have this with. I wrap a towel around me and let the water out before opening the door to go in search of my clothes. To my surprise, he’s left my simple white sundress and flip-flops right outside the bathroom door. I slip them on and head out the door.
It’s completely dark now, and I’m stopped instantly by the two-feet wide path that glows from the bottom of the stairs to the side of the barn. They’re tiny rocks that shine a light shade of blue.
My heart practically beats out of my chest as I follow them, hearing the sounds of the crickets and katydids. That’s another one of my favorite things about the farm—the natural music that plays at night.
As I come around the back of the barn, I see Blake standing on a blanket surrounded by lanterns. The exact expression on his face is hard to see, but he’s wearing khaki shorts and a white button-up rolled up to his elbows.
“I was starting to wonder if you were going to show,” he jokes.
“You knew I would.”
I walk closer, getting a glimpse at his expression. He grins wide. Cocky bastard.
“Out of all the places we’ve been, this is my favorite. This is why I wanted to move here with you,” he says, his expression turning more serious.
I open my mouth to speak, but all my words are flushed away when he takes my hand and gets down on one knee. “I’m not perfect, or even any semblance of it, but when I’m with you, everything feels perfect. When we’re apart, I wake up lonely without you by my side. You’re the one thing in this world I can’t live without and the one thing I want to live for.
“You make me believe in true love—the unconditional kind. You make me believe in God again. You make me want to be better. You make me want to move forward.
“Lila Fields, I promise to give you me so we can be us. I promise to never shut you out or run away. I promise to cover the scars I left on you every single day until you can’t see them anymore. Most of all, I promise to be there forever if you’ll let me.”
He pauses, tears streaming down both our cheeks. This is better than any fairytale I watched as a little girl because it’s my fairytale.
“Will you marry me, baby?” His voice shakes.
I cover my mouth as I nod my head saying “yes” over and over again. He slips a ring on my finger with ease just before I wrap my arms around his neck, pressing my lips to his repeatedly until I can’t feel them anymore. It’s only then that I look over my shoulder at the ring that sparkles in the faint light.
“I designed it myself,” he says, taking his turn to kiss me. “It’s an antique diamond from Europe with a slight yellow hue. I had the jeweler etch the shoulders of the band with flowers and taper it in. It’s unique just like you.”
“It’s beautiful, but you could have wrapped a string of grass around my finger, and I would have said yes.”
“I’ll remember that on our anniversary,” he teases. There’s a pause and he’s staring at me like he can’t believe this is happening either. “I had “love is enough” etched inside the band. I think I told you once that it wasn’t, but it’s the reason I came back. It’s what I want you to remember when we’re apart or when we fight. Love is enough to hold us together through everything if it’s strong enough.”
“It’s also enough to forgive and forget,” I add.
“That too.”
I look up at the stars then back to Blake. “Do you know something else I’ve never done out here?”
“What?” he asks, wrapping his arms around my waist.
“Made love under the stars.”
He slides one strap from my shoulder, pressing his lips to it. “I’m going to be your first,” he whispers against my ear.
“You’re going to be my only,” I answer back as he lays me down on the blanket.
I want to get married out here.
I want to make babies out here.
I want to do everything with this man right here.
He keeps his promise of four—slow and sweet—making love under the shining stars. And, when I look up, I realize we just made love under a full moon.
I smile as he holds me tightly against his chest. I found my full moon.
“BABE, CAN YOU GET me some more milk?”
I roll out of bed, my eyes barely open as I walk down the stairs. Saturday is my day to sleep in, but it rarely works out that way.
Blake gets up when she starts to cry. His big feet creak along the steps. He inevitably drops something on the floor while trying to make a bottle. Then, the stairs creak again. He fumbles with her diaper while she shows off her little lungs.
Then comes the part I like—where he hums the “ABC’s” and “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.” I could listen to him forever. He’s the best daddy. I have one lucky little girl. She’s quiet for maybe fifteen minutes then she screams again.
“Coming!” I yell back, feeling the cold hardwoods against my feet. The house is still dark, the sky purple with a hint of orange in the horizon.
It’s only been three months, but I can make a bottle like it’s no one’s business. I trudge up to her room, handing it to him quickly before she sees me; it’s all over then.
He whispers, “Thank you.”
I crawl back into my comfortable bed.
Just as I start to drift off, the bed dips and his strong arm wraps around my waist pulling me close to his bare chest. I pretend to sleep because I want to. I’d do just about anything for six hours of straight sleep.
“You awake?” he says quietly. I think he can tell I’m not by the way I breathe.
“You know I am.”
His hand snakes its way under my sleep shirt, the backs of his fingers brushing against my stomach while his lips whisper against the back of my neck. “Lay on your stomach, baby.”
I do as he asks, smiling while I think about last Saturday. It went a lot like this and then she woke before I was able to find out how it was all going to end.
My shirt goes all the way up as he straddles my hips.
His fingers run along my spine to my shoulders then down my sides. He does it over and over, and eventually he presses for more, skimming his fingers along the sides of my breasts. He’s an expert—he knows just how to get me.
His body covers mines, lips blazing a hot trail from one side to the other. “Did I tell you you’re beautiful yet this morning?”
“Not yet,” I moan.
“Did I tell you I love you?”
“No.”
“Did I tell you I’d be yours forever?”
I shake my head against the pillow, unable to speak.
“I love you forever, beautiful.”
His marriage vows—he honors them every single day.
His lips trail down my back.
I remember the crisp fall day three months after he proposed—when I fir
st saw him standing in his suit coat by the creek.
His thumbs slip inside the edge of my panties, pulling them down carefully as he kisses the backs of my thighs.
I remember all the promises he made. The promises I made him.
By the time he reaches my feet, all I remember is the way he kissed me in front of our close friends and family. It was a small wedding, but perfect for us.
He kisses his way back up, subtly slipping his fingers between my legs as he does. He knows exactly what to do, not that he has to try too hard.
“I’ll never tire of this body. You’re so fucking gorgeous,” he says, his lips brushing against my ear. Then, in one quick motion he’s inside me. He holds there until I adjust to him.
He pulls out then fills me again.
“Blake,” I moan. “Don’t stop.”
This is the part we didn’t get to before Belle woke up last weekend. It’s been a few stolen showers here and there, but foreplay has all but become extinct.
“On your knees,” he instructs, tugging my hair back. The mix of sensations is all I need before the first orgasm ricochets through my body. He grunts as I pulse around him, but he’s not done yet … not even close.
There’s no time to come off the high. His thumb moves over the bumps on my spine until there are no more. “Turn around, baby.”
I do, laid out naked in front of him, drenched in sex. Desire is wanting a man after only three hours of sleep. I give up sleep for sex … just for him.
He crawls up my body, lapping his tongue around my nipples then up the line of my throat. “How do you want me?”
“I just want you,” I answer back with no hesitation. Our relationship is give and take, but mostly, I take what he’ll give me.
Without another word, he sinks back into me, burying his head in the crook of my neck. “I love you,” he whispers.
“I love you, too,” I answer back, struggling to catch my breath.
His pace picks up then slows.
My heart beats rapidly.
He pulls all the way out then thrusts in.
My body is wound. So much tension I can barely stand it, yet it’s the moment I love the most. I want to hold on to it, but he knows how to break the euphoric spell.
Two more thrusts, and I’m done. I’m his.
He groans, biting into my collarbone to mask his screams.
“I’ll never tire of you,” he mumbles, barely able to breathe. His chin rests on my chest, his eyes staring into mine. The sun comes up, shining through our thin white curtains giving me a glimpse of everything I love about this man—his deep blue eyes, sandy blonde hair and that dimple … I freaking love that dimple.
“You better not.”
“Every day, I fall more in love with you, so I don’t see how it would be possible.”
I brush my fingers through his hair. “I like hearing that.”
He scoots up, kissing my lips. “I like saying it.”
This.
Is.
Bliss.
There’s nothing better for our relationship than being alone like this.
Then, just like clockwork, Belle starts to cry. I’m reminded how much our life has changed. We used to hold each other for hours after sex, talking or sleeping. Now, a new kind of bliss is just in the next room.
“I’ll get her.” He smiles down at me. “Mallory will be here in a couple hours. Why don’t you shower, and I’ll drive into Omaha to get her.”
“Awe, I get to shower today?” I tease. It was a little rough in the beginning but things are falling into place. It’s also easier since we both work from home.
“You better. You smell like sex.”
“It’s become my favorite perfume since I get to wear it less often and all.”
He climbs from the bed, throwing on his T-shirt and shorts. “I take that as a challenge, Mrs. Stone. I hope you’re not a big fan of sleep because between baby duty and perfume trials, you won’t be getting much.” His last words trail off as he heads into the bathroom to wash his hands.
“I don’t think you have the sales skills to talk me into participating in your trial,” I say as he walks back through the bedroom to get Belle from her crib.
I hear him laugh. I am so in trouble; he’s not going to let me sleep for a week.
With Blake in the driver’s seat, I shower and actually take the time to blow dry my hair. Mallory hasn’t been here since right after Belle was born. Most of the weight I gained is gone, but my hair has been in a permanent messy bun, and I couldn’t tell you where my make-up bag is.
“Babe, are you about done? I have to leave in ten minutes!” Blake yells from downstairs.
“Coming!” I yell, pulling on a simple blue maxi dress and matching flip-flops.
“Not now, but you will be later!” he hollers back. I’m definitely going to pay for the perfume comment.
When I come down the stairs, he’s sitting on the couch, knees raised, with Belle perched on his legs. I could honestly watch the two of them together forever and never get bored.
And when Belle sees me, her whole face lights up. No one rocks a toothless smile like our little Isabelle.
I take her from his lap, wrapping her in my arms. “How’s Mommy’s little girl?”
She coos.
My heart melts.
Blake stands, kissing Belle’s cheek then mine. “I better get going.”
“Can you pick up Starbucks while you’re in town?”
“You don’t even have to ask,” he says before walking out the door.
If I’ve learned anything since we’ve moved here, it’s that love has a rhythm. Or, to be more specific, two people in love should live in the same rhythm. You don’t have to be alike; I’m a clarinet, he’s a drum, but we’re playing the same song.
I want a happy marriage—one that others look at from the outside and envy. He grants that dream every day without even trying.
I want Belle to have the best of everything yet still realize that life isn’t perfect. He supports that.
He wants to continue his career, which requires traveling from time to time. I want that for him because it’s what makes him happy.
He needs to kiss me, or touch me in some way at least ten times a day to make sure I’m still here. I’m more than okay with that, too.
Even now, it’s only been a few minutes, and I miss him. When you find something so perfect, you never want to let it go.
I prepare a bottle for Belle and rock her while staring out the living room window. A few vehicles go by, but other than that it’s miles of peaceful farmland. Moving here was the best thing we ever did.
My sweet girl falls asleep on my shoulder after her stomach is full. I’m content staying like this, switching between looking out the window and reading the latest news on my phone.
Before long, Frank pulls in the driveway, and it takes everything I have not to jump up from the chair. Even though Mallory and I talk every day, I miss her.
The second the front door creaks open, Belle is awake. I don’t get how she does that so quickly.
“How is my girl?” Mallory says, dropping her bag and going right for Belle. That’s the other thing about babies—once you have them, you’re always in second place.
Blake is beside her making sure she’s holding Belle just right. The amount of love he has for our little girl makes my heart explode. “You don’t have hold her head like that anymore,” he remarks.
Mallory rolls her eyes. “It’s not going to hurt her, Blake.”
“And she just ate, so she’s probably going to poop. Don’t know how well that white cashmere sweater of yours is going to hold up,” he teases.
“She’s worth it,” Mallory shoots back.
“Did you happen to get coffee?” I ask Blake, noticing his hands are empty.
“Shit! I knew I was forgetting something.”
“Blake Stone, watch your mouth. It won’t be long, and this little one will be talking,” Mallory says, taking the
words right out of my mouth.
“It’s not a big deal. I can make some.”
Blake cringes. “I used the last of the grounds yesterday. Why don’t I run to Starbucks and get you both a latte, and I’ll pick up more grounds while I’m at it.”
“Yes, please,” Mallory says before I get a chance to respond. “Do you know how early I had to get on that plane this morning?”
I want to make a smart comment about how I spent my morning, but I don’t. It’s a weird line to cross when you’re married to your best friend’s brother.
He grabs his keys, kissing me yet again. “Be back in a few.”
“Love you,” I whisper.
“Love you more,” he says back, kissing my forehead. I can’t help but watch him walk away. He is all kinds of perfect for me.
Mallory doesn’t waste a second after the door shuts behind him. “Have you talked to Reece this week?”
I nod. She calls me almost every other day on her lunch break … the time we used to spend together. Not long after Blake and I moved here, Reece became Mallory’s new roommate. They’re opposites, but it seems to be working out okay.
“Big Bang is practically living with us now. I swear, and they’re so freaking cute together. A hundred bucks says they’re married by this time next Christmas.”
“His name is Dylan,” I remind her.
She waves me off. “We call him Big Bang all the time. It’s no big deal. Besides, it sure sounds like he lives up to the name.”
“She deserves it. Speaking of which, isn’t it about time you found a man? You’ve been back in the states for almost a year.”
She smiles shyly, biting her lower lip. “I’ve been seeing someone actually.”
“Did you meet him at work?”
“Umm, no, not really, but it’s someone you know.”
“Who?”
Words Unspoken, a spinoff novella coming Winter 2016.
Also, keep reading for the first two chapters of Break Even, a standalone adult contemporary novel releasing December 2015. It’s an atypical love story with a dose of suspense.
BREAK EVEN
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