He shrugged, the broad shoulders stretching the fine fabric of the shirt. “Just curious, I guess. They say you always remember your first.” His lips curled in obvious distaste, as if that memory was sullied in some way. “So…Why marketing? In particular, why here? It’s hardly prestigious and I don’t imagine they pay as well as Corporate.”
“Money isn’t everything.”
“True enough. What happened to your ambitions? If I recall correctly, you were going to be a household name as a journalist by twenty-five. You need to make better headway.”
Rebellion at his constant niggling flared. “You were going to own your own company by twenty-five. How did that work out for you?”
His jaw tightened, and his mouth twisted slightly. “What makes you think I don’t?”
She sighed, her hands fluttering in a movement of resignation. “You did it. This HeadWorks Group is your company.” She looked away, unable to meet that hard stare. “I should have known.”
“Why should you? It’s been years. Anything could have happened.”
“You had what it took, Lucas. At least one of us did.”
A heaviness in his gut, Lucas watched her turn away to fiddle with some papers, leaning against the desk, defeat in the slump of her shoulders and the downturn of her mouth. He dragged his attention back to the task at hand, needing the distraction. He’d expected to feel triumphant, not this raw anger. He thought he’d gotten over that years ago. Like he thought…hoped…he’d got over wanting her.
He’d wanted her the first moment he saw her, all those years ago, a school senior at a university party she shouldn’t have been at, staring at him with those dark blue eyes. Like he’d been hit with a laser fair square in the chest and his guts melted into a puddle at her feet. She’d asked him to dance and he’d looked at her weird, medieval type dress that reminded him of a character in the latest computer game and mumbled something about a Faerie Queen.
She’d eaten it up, her cheeks going all pink and splotchy. Back then, girls liked the look of him but ran when he opened his mouth. With her it didn’t seem to matter. Whatever stupid words fell out of his mouth she accepted. She’d been willing to learn about his world of numbers, happy to hang with his geeky friends. He should have known it was too good to be true.
Taking the opportunity while she looked at the paperwork, he studied her, curious at the physical pull. He’d withdrawn back into his shell after what she’d done. Yet he couldn’t help recalling what they’d had together. Mixed with her scent, the way her hair flowed over her shoulders, memories rushed back to clog his brain, rousing dormant emotions and reminding him of things he’d gone without for far too long.
A woman in his bed, for instance. He wasn’t even going to count how long. His gaze lingered on the taut angle of her small breasts, pushed up as they rested on her outstretched arm on the desk in a characteristic pose, and his body stirred immediately.
He dismissed the memories impatiently as he turned back to the computer. He wasn’t here to pick things up again. No matter that his body had other ideas. She was the past and this was about putting her there decisively. Tie up the loose ends from seven years ago. And after that…Closure.
Finding a broken cable connection on the motherboard, he used pliers to trim and re-attach the socket and after a quick test he put the computer back together again. Under Harriet’s direction he slotted it back under the desk and plugged in the peripherals before booting it up, just as Jimmie returned with the hot drinks and a box of doughnuts.
Harriet’s demeanour changed instantly, the smile back on her face as she took her drink and a pink iced doughnut.
“It’s almost fixed, Jimmie, for the moment anyway.”
If she was going for perky, it was overdone, but Jimmie didn’t seem to see anything odd in her behaviour, handing Lucas his coffee and offering the doughnuts. Maybe this was how she usually behaved. The lad took his own coffee and the rest of the doughnuts and vanished down one of the hallways. She nodded briskly as she put her drink down.
“Nice.”
Taking a deep breath, Harriet debated with herself how to keep the atmosphere cool and impersonal. If he started to ask questions, hung around to find out her secrets, she didn’t know what would happen. It was already awkward. She’d snabbled the boss to do a basic computer repair. His strong features were reassuringly familiar but his eyes as they gleamed down at her were alien and unreadable.
“Shouldn’t I be talking to one of your tech guys?”
“I’m quite competent, Harriet.”
“It’s not that. I know you are. But you own the company. This is hardly effective use of resources. At the very least.” How stupid did she feel? She couldn’t even talk to Lucas like a normal human being. A bit of a switch from when they first met.
He shrugged as he reached for his laptop. “I’m still quite capable of fixing redundant hardware. Besides, as it turns out, it gave me a chance to see what you’re up to.”
“It must have been a surprise.” His brows rose, and she stumbled on. “Seeing me here.”
“Not entirely. I saw your name on the application. It crossed my mind that it could be you.”
Crossed his mind? Like it wasn’t important? She stared at his averted face. Or was it?
“Did it bother you?” What a stupid thing to say. She ducked her head, pretending to study the screen as she hit a few random keys. Her heart was pounding in her chest. He’d known she might be here and came anyway? Had he wanted to see her? Why, after seven years did he suddenly have to roll back into her life? Her perfectly happy life. Well…contented…mostly.
“Why would it bother me? We’re practically strangers these days.”
“Of course. I just…” She let her words trail off. After seven years she should have known better. Businesslike. That’s what she needed to be, here and now. He mustn’t see how his presence affected her. She quickly brought up the database. “I’d better get on with showing you the software. You must have more important things to do.”
From the corner of her eye she saw him move closer and she swivelled on her chair to keep him from brushing against her legs. Preparing to launch into her spiel, she took an unwary breath, sucking in the taste of him, all citrus and faintly musk. Her stomach clenched, and she closed her eyes against another rush of tears.
This was way too reminiscent of the past. Sitting close while they worked on assignments. They’d both been so busy at the time, her with her senior year of school to finish, him doing his masters at university. The four years’ age difference had worried her parents. But when they were alone together it didn’t seem to matter.
There had been a comradeship even in studying together, side by side, thighs pressed together, arms brushing occasionally. She shot a quick glance his way, but he seemed indifferent, his eyes fixed on the screen, his beautifully sculpted mouth a straight line as he concentrated.
“Forward compatibility is getting to be a real problem.” The words came out in a squeak and she cleared her throat and continued, losing her self-consciousness as she went on. This she knew back to front. Lucas leaned uncomfortably close as together they went through the various programs and databases used by the charity and discussed the different uses and outputs required for the day-to-day running of the organisation.
They were both totally involved in the task when Jimmie came to ask if they needed lunch.
Harriet looked up with a frown. “I’ll just have a chicken wrap, thanks and a juice.” She stopped to pick up her purse and handed Jimmie some cash before turning back to the problem at hand. Lucas pulled out his wallet and ordered the same but with coffee and a sweet muffin.
He frowned as he pushed his wallet into his back pocket. “You haven’t changed much. I remember you always had a single-minded absorption in whatever task was at hand. Food be damned.”
“And you were always hungry whatever time of day, day or night.” She stared at him, hardly believing she’d come out with that. Pe
rsonal was out. Shared memories were dangerous. She had to maintain a professional distance. His gaze caught hers, his mouth opened and then closed as he broke the contact. He’d obviously thought better of what he was about to say. Instead he turned back to his laptop, typing in that odd jerky pattern he’d used back when he was at university. So, he hadn’t changed in some ways either.
While she rattled on about the specifics of the system they required to maintain the databases, the financials, tracking the government legislation and reporting, her mind was busy making notes about the tall figure beside her. His height certainly hadn’t changed, he’d towered over her back then too, but his shoulders had filled out in the past seven years.
He’d been all lean muscle as a twenty-two-year-old, but his upper body hadn’t fully developed despite his active lifestyle. Considering his chosen career Harriet would have expected him to stay lean but he must have done something to bulk up. It wasn’t just the suit because he’d loosened his tie and taken off the jacket halfway through the morning and the white shirt in a fine silk weave did nothing to disguise the physique underneath.
The brilliant eyes were still as intense as ever, focusing on his laptop as he entered the information she was giving him at speed, flashing between different screens. The mouth though, there was something different there. She’d always loved the shape, the full lower lip and the perfect bow of the thinner upper one. How many times had she traced those lips with the tip of her finger, run her nail along the crescent shape of the dimple on the left-hand side?
Drawing in a sharp breath, she stole a look at Lucas as he frowned over the laptop. The corners of his mouth tucked in, drawing long lines down each side, but there was no sign of the dimple. Even when he’d smiled up at Jimmie, the creases stayed, ageing him beyond his twenty-nine years.
The return of his team brought her back to reality. The group stood waiting by the door for Lucas to join them, a man and two women in more casual clothes than the corporate suit their employer chose to wear. She watched them talk amongst themselves, wondering what he was saying, and they scattered, wielding tablet computers and a tape measure.
When he joined her again, standing beside the desk, she ventured a comment. “It really brings it home when I see your minions doing your bidding.”
“We’re a team. I don’t believe in top down management.”
“I only meant about you having your own company. Employing heaps of people.”
“Not a big number. Less than one hundred in the parent company. Quite a few in the subsidiaries and overseas. I’m not sure about exact numbers. It changes all the time, depending on projects and contracts. Cyber security is still our core business, following on from my research project for the doctorate. It’s too specialised for any but the big corporates and governments. We do a lot with the military, here and overseas.”
She’d known that was where he was headed but it made it so much more incomprehensible that he should come here. “That sounds remarkable. Consider me impressed.” She smiled, hoping for a response but he simply nodded.
“It was hard work. Time consuming. But I had nothing else to distract me.” Harriet wondered if that was a reference to their last meeting, but his eyes moved away to look at his notes and she realised the conversation was over. She’d called him a distraction she couldn’t afford. But the other things she’d said had been worse.
Suddenly, she was anxious for him to be gone. At least Jimmie was back, a bag with the lunch order dangling from one hand, coffee in the other. “You’re a busy man. If you go with Jimmie, he’ll show you where the server and network switch are plugged in. I’ll follow in a minute. I just need to wrap up here.”
“I’m in no hurry. I’ll wait for you.”
He obviously had no intention of leaving the reception area without her. At least it was just him and Jimmie. His team had vanished into the back rooms of the building. She reached for her gloves.
Lucas watched her pull on what looked like leather golfing gloves that left her fingers free, wriggling the bare, slender digits as she closed the Velcro at her wrist.
She spoke briskly. “You can get on with your lunch, Jimmie. We’ll be along shortly. I’ll show Mr. Hall where the heart of the monster resides first.”
Bracing her hands on the counter, Harriet pushed herself up into a standing position. She seemed to stumble, a gasping breath escaping her lips. Automatically he stepped forward to help, freezing at an urgent shake of the head from Jimmie. Moving back, out of the way, he schooled his expression and received a thumbs-up from the lad.
Fiddling with the stack of brochures on the counter, he watched silently as Harriet used the bench-top to steady herself. Half expecting her to straighten up and walk away, her shuffling gait as she moved sideways along the desk sent a shiver of unease down his spine.
His gaze dropped to her legs, stiff and awkward in the loose cut slacks that matched the neat, pale blue blouse. Reaching the end of the desk, she flopped down in the wheelchair he’d noticed earlier. Not what he expected. Stomach churning, he took a deep breath to settle it and followed her down the hallway.
2
Harriet waited for him with her wheelchair positioned in front of her desk, the server and switch in the special cabinet beside it. She’d expected more of a reaction when she’d been forced to walk. That he would say something. In that first moment he appeared surprised, even shocked. He’d looked away immediately, but she’d seen nausea in the compressed lips and the way he swallowed.
Of course, he would be repulsed by her ungainly movements. He’d always said… She closed her eyes. He’d said so many things, in his abrupt awkward way about how he’d loved the way she moved, how he loved to watch her dance.
Getting up in front of Lucas felt far worse than displaying her clumsiness in front of colleagues who’d never met her prior to the accident. Unlike most of the people she knew these days, he would remember the Harriet from before the accident. Not this hollow somebody, going through the motions.
Footsteps sounded on the vinyl floor of the hallway and she clenched her hands tightly to stop the trembling. She was stronger than this. Stronger than the girl she’d been seven years ago.
He paused in the doorway and she saw him taking in the setup with the desk cut-out and lowered keyboard drawer.
“Gary had my workstation altered for me, but the rest are at the wrong height, as you saw up front. I can’t get my chair close enough.”
“We need to meet. After work.”
His sudden demand startled her into meeting his eyes. Ice green, they held an imperative it was hard to resist. “I’m busy.”
“Don’t you think you owe me an explanation?”
She knew it was coming, but it didn’t make it any easier knowing he was right. “What do you want to know?”
“You told me after the accident you would only be in plaster for a few weeks and then it would be back to normal.”
“I was over-optimistic, it would appear.”
“Come off it, Harry, you lied to me and I want to know why.”
Why? That was something she could never explain. Not to the young passionate Lucas, and certainly not to this distant, cool stranger. “Look, I was eighteen. You remember how invincible you feel when you’re young. That nothing bad could possibly happen. Maybe I didn’t want to face reality.”
“And what was reality? Was there a spinal injury after all?”
“No, I didn’t lie about that. It was only my knees. They…didn’t mend as well as I expected...hoped.” She fixed him with an unwavering stare, willing him to leave it at that.
He returned her gaze, green eyes glinting. Suddenly he turned away, rolling his shoulders as if to relieve tension. “Fair enough. We’ll leave it, for the moment. This isn’t the time. Show me the server and then I’ll grab my lunch and talk through things with my guys.” He turned back as she let her breath go. “This isn’t finished, Harriet Emerson. We will talk.”
After he’d gone
, Harriet folded her arms around her midriff and closed her eyes. Why now, when she had made some kind of life without him? He’d said, you never forget your first. She’d never had a chance to add a second and third or more, as he must have over the years. What man would take on a woman in a wheelchair? Would want to make love to a woman he needed to treat like china in case she broke?
Jimmie’s voice broke into her thoughts. “Harriet? Are you okay?”
She looked up into his worried face, bringing up her usual smile with an effort. “I’m fine, I just realised I forgot to have my lunch. Have the HeadWorks people gone?”
“Your friend went away but the others are still around. I heard him tell them he’ll be back later.”
It was almost time to go home when a tingling awareness alerted her to his return. He came to sit beside her again, disturbingly virile. She’d had to abandon her office when his technical people came to inspect the server but now she was back, trying to get the most urgent jobs done before they laid waste to the system. She had hoped to get the newsletter done at least, but the mail-merge had crashed the system. They seemed quite confident the whole computer network would be replaced but it would come down to Lucas.
He lay the plan of the office she given him on the desk and opened his laptop. “I have to see Gary for final confirmation so we can go ahead but thought I would get your opinion on what I’ve drawn up.” He sat far too close and because of the constraints of her chair, Harriet couldn’t move away without being obvious. Her throat tightened at the thought that after all they’d been to each other, it came down to this…this distance between them despite the physical proximity.
Focusing on the plans rather than the hint of clean soap emanating from his warm flesh, she listened carefully as Lucas outlined a new system that included options for high speed broadband and Wi-Fi throughout the office. “That all sounds great, but it also sounds expensive. Can’t we just upgrade what we’ve got?”
Tell Me No Lies Page 2
