It had seemed harsh at the time. Looking back from this distance, remembering how worried her parents had been about her, Harriet understood why. The agreement she’d made with them kept the USB stick untouched in the bottom of her jewellery box. The one with the dancing ballerina her parents gave her when she’d passed her first RAD exam.
Now Lucas was back in her life, albeit temporarily, so surely there could be no harm in glancing through old photographs. Compressing her lips, she put the stick into the port on the laptop, jumping nervously as the computer signalled its readiness. As the first picture flashed onto the screen, she sucked in a deep breath. She’d almost forgotten that photo.
Taken by the school friend who’d persuaded her into attending the party put on by her university aged sister, it was a little fuzzy. But the memories it represented rose sharp and clear as crystal. She still had the long flowing purple dress and the jewelled hair clips but she never wore them.
Releasing her breath with a sigh, she let her mind go back to that first time. To the place she never let herself go. The first time she’d seen Lucas Hall.
The growl of the black Ducati motorbike drowned out the heavy throb of the music behind her as she sat on the steps of the old timber house, watching the late arrival. In leathers, a matt black helmet in one hand, he was every good girl’s wet dream. His emerald eyes glowed as he looked at her and he smiled. She was lost from that moment, the dimple in his cheek, the intensity of those amazing eyes stealing her previously untouched heart.
She called him James Dean and he laughed and called her a Faery Queen muttering something about a computer game. They danced briefly, silently, and afterwards he kept her close as he hung with his mates, hardly talking.
It was heaven until he discovered her age, returning her home on the back of his bike and parting with a regretful brush of his lips over hers and a firm goodbye.
Flicking through the images on the screen, she smiled ruefully. It hadn’t been goodbye but perhaps it would have been better for both of them if he’d remained firm. The flush of popularity that exploded in the Senior Common Room following his appearance in full black leather glory outside the school several weeks later had gone to her head just a little. Miss Goody-Two-Shoes dating the biker dude from the wrong side of town was more than a nine-day wonder at her exclusive all girl’s school. She’d foolishly thought it would last forever.
Brushing tears away, Harriet returned to the present reluctantly, still caught in the magic of the might have been. Those few months following that first meeting had defined her life. As if it was only then she’d been fully alive. Awakened from slumber by the light in a pair of vivid green eyes, like the Fae creature he’d named her. Called from another realm only to be lost in a world suddenly empty.
She rubbed her stomach, pushing away the ache. Dreams were empty things that left you wanting. Long ago she’d decided to have no more truck with dreams. But now Lucas was back and they crept into her soul like dark shadows, reminding her of all she couldn’t have.
3
It was all finished and he hadn’t come. She should be glad of it but somehow the ache in her chest seemed to get bigger each day that went by without him. Considering the previous twenty-five hundred or so days when she hadn’t seen him, the reaction seemed excessive. But her heart had been aching all the time, under the anaesthetising grief of her loss. That was why smiling came so hard, why she had to pretend.
His people were amazing, coming in teams and targeting each aspect of the transition with unparalleled efficiency. The disruption to operations had been minimal, even with the refit of the reception desk to make it wheelchair friendly. The cabinet makers hadn’t stopped there, completely refurbishing the shelving in the waiting area and building in cupboards to store a lot of the equipment. Now the last of the workmen and technicians had gone.
Taking refuge in her office, she tried to get excited over the speed and sparkly newness of everything. It had taken a couple of days to get used to the latest versions of the software but now everything was running smoothly. With a final few keystrokes she sent the latest reports to the fancy new printer. At this rate, she’d be almost out of a job. Looking after the ageing computer system had taken more hours than she’d realised.
“Harriet?”
Startled she twisted her head around to identify the strangely familiar voice. “Graeme? Graeme Mac Alistair?” He’d shared the old Queenslander with Lucas and a couple of other computer science students while they were at university. The brawny, ginger haired giant nodded. “I couldn’t believe it when Lucas told me you worked here.” He advanced with his arms outstretched, his large hands swooping down to frame her face. The kiss was a loud smack accompanied by a gentle stroke of one hand down her hair.
“Let me look at you, girl.” His pale blue eyes flicked up and down. “I do believe you’re shorter than you used to be.”
With a rueful laugh, she nodded. “That’s truer than you know. What brings you here?”
“Just dropping off a few things for your set up. Some laptops and tablets for your outreach staff. I could have let Lucas have all the fun but after all this time, I wanted to see you.”
“You work with Lucas?”
“I run the hardware side of things.” He planted himself on the edge of her desk and folded his arms over the broad chest. “So, what on earth have you done to yourself?”
“Crocked my knees in that accident. Didn’t Lucas tell you?”
“The man is still like a clam when it comes to nattering about his personal life.”
“I don’t think I count as personal life. Not anymore.”
“I suppose not. Couldn’t believe it when he said you’d broken it off back in the day.” He looked down at the wheelchair. “I suppose under the circs it was just as well. You couldn’t have gone to the U.S. with him like that. How bad is it?”
“Pretty much all the bones from here to here were crushed when the bike landed on me.” Her hands framed the distance from mid-thigh to mid-calf.
“You can’t walk?”
“I can use crutches for short distances. One leg can weight bear for short periods. They bolted me back together as well as they could, but the soft tissue damage means the joints are weak and floppy.”
“Is it painful?”
“Only a bit when I walk. Otherwise I’m fine. I wear braces to support the joints.”
“And Lucas walked away? Left you to go through all that alone?”
Harriet flinched under the brutality of his words and he nodded. “He didn’t know how bad it was, did he?”
“No.”
“You didn’t want him getting all noble, I suppose. The pair of you were as crazy as each other. He would have stayed if he’d known.”
“That couldn’t happen, Grae. It was a chance in a lifetime.”
“Yeah. Some guys get all the luck and still miss out on the important things.”
He stood and cracked his knuckles. “Lucas is around somewhere, finalizing the ongoing maintenance contract with your boss. I better go find him.” He punched her lightly on the shoulder. “Don’t be a stranger, Harry. Keep in touch.”
She watched him turn away, her heart beating overtime at the information that Lucas was in the building. When he let out a crude exclamation, she jerked around in her chair.
Graeme thumped the intruder on the shoulder and Harriet flinched in sympathy. “For chrissakes, Lucas, don’t sneak up on a guy like that.” He darted a quick glance back at her and she guessed he was having the same thought. How long had Lucas been standing at the door and what had he heard?
Looking at their guilty expressions, Lucas wanted to laugh. But the anger surging below the surface wouldn’t let him. Not just from seeing the easy camaraderie of the pair of them, but at the revealing nature of the conversation. He could have believed her sincere in her supposed sacrifice if he didn’t know better. It seemed Graeme was willing to believe her. It certainly made sense and fitted with everything h
e’d thought he’d known about Harriet Emerson.
But it didn’t explain everything. It didn’t explain the things she’d said when she hadn’t known he was there, outside the hospital room. She’d said right from the start she didn’t blame him for the accident. Was that a lie too? Truth, lies…he didn’t know what to believe any more. He nodded to Graeme. “We’re expected in the staff room. Some kind of afternoon tea ceremony.”
“Good. I’m starving.” Graeme plunged out the door and could be heard whistling as he vanished in the direction of the staff room.
Harriet frowned after him. “How does he know where to go?”
“He’ll have the map of the place in his head. He put together the system for you using the information we gave him.”
“How long as he worked for you?”
“Since I moved the company here, so about thirteen months.”
He could see her mulling over that, wondering perhaps why he’d come back, why he hadn’t come looking before. He’d been looking all right. Just not in the right places. Maybe he’d been reluctant to find her. Afraid that she would still wield that strange power over his heart. He hadn’t known the extent of her lies back then.
“I suppose we better get to the staff room if Gary is waiting.”
Stepping in front of her, he forced her to stop moving, her hands resting lightly on the push rims of the wheels. “Have you been in touch with Graeme while I’ve been overseas? With any of the old group?”
“No, I lost touch. I haven’t seen Graeme since he visited me in hospital just before…”
He knew what brought her to a halt. His own disastrous visit. “I was surprised at how…friendly…you were. I only rated a handshake.”
She snorted, angling her head to look up at him. “I doubt if you even wanted that much from me.”
“You make the mistake of assuming too much about me. Like you did after the accident. Was that true? What you said to Graeme.”
“Probably. Not that you were supposed to hear.”
“You thought I couldn’t cope.”
“That didn’t come into it. You were going overseas. I couldn’t come. It was pointless prolonging the situation.”
“You don’t think I deserved the opportunity to discuss options?”
“There were no options.”
“You’re so stubborn. That hasn’t changed.”
Harriet couldn’t help laughing. “Pot…kettle…”
His face softened. The old argument rose fresh between them. His chuckle was balm for her soul. How she missed their interactions. He might not have talked much in the old days, but they’d laughed all the time.
Something electric arced as their eyes locked. A quiver like the touch of ghostly fingers trickled down her spine as his pupils darkened, expanded. He leaned into her, resting his hands on the low metal side rails of her chair. It brought his face to her level, his exhalation lightly caressing her cheek. “What else hasn’t changed, Harry?”
She could taste coffee on his breath, triggering her salivary glands but her lips felt dry and tight. Closing her eyes to block out his closeness, she dipped her tongue out to moisten her lips. Her body thrummed with sensation, coming alive again to his proximity. This couldn’t happen. “I’m not…”
The words were swallowed as his mouth assaulted hers, hard and forceful, pushing her back, the wheelchair rocking under the impact. She tightened her grip on the wheel rims, but he’d done the same, pulling her closer. Her lips were pressed against her teeth, almost painful, the rebound of the chair forcing the clash. An ache began in her throat and she scrunched her lids tighter. She. Must. Not. Cry.
It was heaven. It was hell. It was over, the chair rocking back as he released her. He spun away, his hand going to his face, pinching the bridge of his nose. Surely it hadn’t affected him that way as well? Almost immediately he faced her again, bright emerald eyes the only outward sign of his disturbance. If anything, the creases beside his mouth were deeper, pulling the corners down grimly.
“I’m sorry. I guess I’m out of practice.”
“You kiss women in wheelchairs often?”
Colour mantled his cheekbones. “It’s a first for me.” He handed her a crisp white handkerchief, pulled from his pocket.
Looking up from the neatly folded linen she shook her head. “I don’t need this. I’m not that upset.”
His hand wavered towards her and then pointed to his bottom lip. “You might want to clean up.”
Dabbing the handkerchief to her mouth, she examined it curiously, surprised to see a small drop of blood smeared over the fabric. “Oh.” She dabbed again and another drop appeared, bright against the pristine white. “I didn’t realise.”
Lucas thrust his hands into his pockets, pushing back the jacket, displaying his narrow hips and waist. “Sorry. I didn’t mean that to happen.”
Something stirred in the pit of her stomach and she wanted to cry again for all they’d been together. Giving the soiled hanky more attention than it needed, she kept her face lowered. “I’ll wash it and get it back to you.”
“I buy them by the dozen, so you might as well chuck it.”
Surprise bought her chin up. “Your mother doesn’t buy them for you now?”
“She’s in a nursing home. She had a fall over a year ago.”
That explained much. “You came back for her.”
That sounded a bit needy. Like there was any hope of him even thinking about an ex who’d dumped him in the most humiliating way possible. Twelve months of nothing pretty much proved he had no interest in looking her up. Despite the kiss. Pressing her lips together, she could feel them, slightly swollen and tender from his kiss. Why on earth had he kissed her?
Why on earth had he kissed her? Lucas didn’t consider himself delusional but analysing that question was all kinds of wrong. It was very simple, in fact. He wanted to. Had done from the first time she’d popped her head over the reception desk. But he knew it was the wrong thing to do. She was beyond his reach.
Even more so now. She’d made it clear he wasn’t good enough all those years ago, and now… Now she thought he wouldn’t have the balls to take on a woman in a wheelchair. Watching her speed down the hallway ahead of him, he wondered if she was right.
Churned up as he was, Lucas didn’t look forward to the small celebration. Fortunately, Gary spoke enough for all of them and with a few nods and smiles, a mouthful of scone and verbal support from Graeme, he made it through.
Most of the staff had trickled away when Jimmie sidled up to him holding a newspaper. “I saw your picture.”
“Really?” Usually his P.A. kept him informed of any media interest. When he saw the photograph, he understood why. Darren wouldn’t have been checking the weekend social pages. He was so rarely in them. Angela looked good and he looked…interested. They were holding hands, appearing totally immersed in each other. And they say a picture can’t lie.
He glanced across at Harriet, deep in discussion with Graeme. Had she seen it? She looked up at that moment, her eyes on Jimmie. That strained smile that so irritated him hovered and then faded as she turned back to her conversation.
Harriet was conscious of Lucas staring at her and she wondered if she had donut icing on her face. Cautiously she ran her tongue over her still tender lips and his lashes flickered down and up. Graeme beckoned to him and he came over, closely followed by Jimmie.
Graeme spoke directly to Lucas. “I have to go, mate. I’ve a meeting in half an hour at head office.” With a brisk hand shake for the awestruck Jimmie and friendly pat on Harriet’s head she couldn’t object to, he was gone, leaving the three of them alone.
Jimmie was absorbed in his newspaper, sounding out the caption silently when Lucas dropped into a crouch beside her chair. He looked slightly dishevelled as if he’d been running his long fingers through his short hair. “I was wondering if you’d like to come to dinner tonight. To celebrate the end of the project.” He kept his voice low and Harriet wonder
ed if she heard him right. He saw her confusion and smiled wryly. “We should talk.”
Harriet was thinking furiously. And it wasn’t just about her existing commitments for the evening. The photo of Lucas Jimmie was carting around everywhere, showed him with a gorgeous leggy blonde with the all the usual obvious advantages, plus the one that she could probably stand on her own two feet. Harriet was so not going there. “I don’t think so, Lucas. We’re going to a basketball game, aren’t we?” Jimmie looked startled but nodded.
Lucas looked a little startled as well. “Okay, some other time perhaps.”
From his tone he probably thought it was just an excuse and all things considered she probably would have made one if she didn’t have a genuine commitment, so she could hardly blame him.
She was just starting to relax, having jumped that hurdle with a modicum of success, when Jimmie in his wisdom almost gave her a heart attack. “You could come with us, Lucas. Come to the basketball tonight.”
Forcing a laugh Harriet shook her head, “I’m sure Lucas has better things to do than go to an amateur basketball match.” With a shrewd glance at both of them Lucas nodded to Jimmie. “I’d like to come, thanks. What time and how do we get there?”
Stifling a sigh as she saw the pleased expression on the face of her work colleague Harriet brought up a perky smile. “Seven p.m. start. At the auditorium at St. Pat’s. I think you know where that is.”
Lucas looked at her face rather grimly and nodded. “Does anyone need a lift?”
Promptly at a quarter to seven Lucas was sitting with Jimmie in the third row, half way along the near empty auditorium. Looking at the steps Lucas had been doubtful, but Jimmie insisted they always sat in that spot without fail.
Tell Me No Lies Page 4
