He thought about calling Razor to tell him what he’d learned about Petrov, but when he went to get his phone, he felt like he was betraying Raketa’s trust and set it back down.
“I was thinking I could show you around the island if you’re up for it,” he said.
“I’d like that.”
There was one place in particular he wanted her to see.
—:—
“We’re almost there,” he turned back and said. “You doin’ okay?”
They were walking through a beautiful forest. Raketa wasn’t hunting someone United Russia wanted her to kill, and she doubted they’d be able to get an assassin on Gunner’s island to kill her. There hadn’t been a time in her life that she could remember being more okay than she was now. Every so often, she found herself humming a tune she remembered her mother singing to her. When was the last time she’d hummed, if ever?
“Here it is,” said Gunner, reaching for her hand and then putting his arm around her shoulders when she stood next to him.
Before her, she saw a cliff and, in the middle of it, a beautiful waterfall. At its bottom was a pool of water with lush vegetation growing on its banks. She couldn’t explain why, but her eyes filled with tears.
“I reacted that way the first time I saw it,” Gunner said, catching a teardrop on his fingertip. “Up for a swim?”
Before she could protest, Gunner had his shirt off and was pulling down his shorts.
“Come swim with me, Rocket Girl,” he said, holding his hand out to her.
How could she resist a man whose body brought her to her knees and made her weep more than the waterfall. She’d never seen a man with a more perfect physique than Gunner, and that was with clothes on. Naked he looked like a god.
She shed her clothes and climbed into the pool, surprised at how warm the water was. She made her way over to the falls, took the tie out of her hair, closed her eyes, and sat beneath the flow of water. It felt like Gunner’s shower, but so much better.
When she opened her eyes, Gunner was standing close enough to touch her, but he hadn’t.
“If I live to be one hundred and I forget every other thing about my life, I will never forget this moment.”
Raketa felt her cheeks flush, and she looked down into the water. Gunner cupped her cheek with his hand and brought his lips to hers.
“Thank you,” she said when he pulled away.
“For?”
“I shouldn’t have to explain.” She smiled. “But I will.” Raketa took a deep breath. “Thank you for bringing me here. Thank you for caring about me.” Her eyes filled with tears, and she tried to look away.
“Hey,” he said, grasping her chin. “Why tears?”
“You’ll think I’m feeling sorry for myself,” she whispered.
“Tell me anyway.”
“Before…when I asked you to let me leave, I realized something.”
Gunner’s eyes bored into hers so intensely she hesitated before continuing. He nodded. “Tell me.”
“I don’t have anyone,” she admitted as tears ran down her cheeks. “If you let me go, I wouldn’t know what to do.”
“You have me.”
“Gunner…I…”
“You do, Raketa. You’ve known that for a long time. Deep inside your heart, you knew you could trust me. That’s why you asked me to help you get away from United Russia. You knew I would.”
Every word he said was true, she had known, but having him confirm it took away so much of her doubt.
“I’m lucky,” he began. “I always have been. I may not be the easiest guy to get along with, but Razor, Doc, and Mercer have always had my back, no matter how much of an asshole I was to them. I know it’s different for you, Rocket Girl.”
He looked into her eyes. “You’re not alone anymore. It isn’t just me, the K19 team is behind you too. They put you first when we raided the compound. The first part of the mission was rescuing you. Getting to Petrov was second.”
“Honestly?”
Gunner nodded.
“But why?”
He shrugged. “I guess they knew how I felt about you even without my telling them.”
Did she dare ask what that meant? Could she bear hearing the words she’d never dreamed she would, and not dissolve into a puddle of emotion?
Gunner brought his forehead to hers. “I can’t explain it. I told you that last night, but it’s true. You have a pull on me that I couldn’t ignore even if I wanted to, and I don’t want to. I want you here with me, and that has nothing to do with any mission I’ve ever accepted.”
Raketa put her arms around him and held her body close to his. “Thank you, Gunner,” she whispered for the second time.
“I know there’s something you can’t tell me yet, but I believe one day you’ll be able to. In the meantime, I’m not going to push. You’re safe here, and while you say that Petrov said the same thing to you—”
“I’m sorry I said that.”
“Wait and hear me out. I know why you said it, and after you did, I thought long and hard about whether what I was doing was the same as what he did. I decided that it isn’t.”
“I know it isn’t.”
“Here’s why. All I care about is keeping you safe. That’s it. I know there will come a time that we have to leave this island, but for now, I don’t want to think about when that might be.”
“Me either.”
“So, how about we pretend the rest of the world doesn’t exist for a while?”
Raketa hated that she almost asked if he really meant it. He did and she knew it.
“Let’s go back now,” he said.
“Why?”
“Because I want you so bad it hurts,” he said, rubbing himself against her body.
“I want you too.” Raketa shifted so he was closer to her sex.
“We can’t.”
“Why not?”
He winked. “I didn’t pack the condoms.”
Raketa reached over to where she’d left her shorts. “I did.”
11
Sex under the waterfall on his island had to have been the single-most sexy, exhilarating, erotic thing Gunner had ever done. As he led Raketa through the trees, the thought had occurred to him, until he realized he hadn’t brought any condoms with him. That she had was practically like…winning a million bucks.
She was quiet on the walk back to the house, but he didn’t feel as though things were awkward between them. The silence felt natural.
“Hungry?” he asked when they walked inside.
Raketa had been looking out the window but turned to look at him and shrugged. “Are you?”
“You don’t eat enough.”
She chuckled, sort of. “That would’ve been the appropriate answer if I’d asked why you asked if I’m hungry.”
Gunner smiled. “No, Rocket Girl, I’m not hungry.”
She smiled too. “Why did you say I don’t eat enough?”
Gunner moved closer and put his hands on her waist. “Because I can feel your bones.”
A pained look flashed on her face.
“What did I say?”
“Food wasn’t always…plentiful.”
Gunner nodded. “If I asked you to tell me about your life would you think it’s because I’m interested or because I’m trying to get information?”
Raketa sat down at the kitchen table. “It isn’t a very interesting story.”
Gunner pulled another of the other chairs closer to her. “Everything about you is interesting to me.”
“I doubt there’s anything I could tell you that you don’t already know.”
She was right, at least after she’d turned eighteen. Prior to that, there was nothing. If he asked about that, though, it would be solely to get information.
“I may know the facts, but I know nothing about what you were like, how you felt, what your life was actually like.”
“I told you—boring.”
Gunner nodded. “I’ll tell you abou
t my life, then.”
Raketa folded her arms when Gunner leaned back in his chair. What was she afraid he would tell her? Something made her take a step back, close herself off to him.
“I have one sibling, a sister. She picked out your clothes, by the way.”
She raised an eyebrow.
“She owns a clothing store,” he explained.
“Thank you.”
He nodded. “Her name is Odette.”
“Interesting name.”
“Both my parents are French, although my dad was born in the States.”
“Is Gunner a French name?”
He laughed. “No, my father was a military man. I’m surprised you don’t know that.”
“Oliver Marchand Godet. Retired four-star general. Deceased at the age of sixty-two,” she murmured.
She rattled off the basic statistics of his father’s life with no emotion, just like he would’ve in a briefing. His dad was so much more than her words.
“He was the best man I ever knew.”
“Tell me about him,” she said, uncrossing her arms and resting them on the table.
Gunner told her about the first time his father brought him to the island along with several other stories about growing up with the man who was known as “Devil Dog.”
“He wasn’t around a lot, but he always made up for it when he was on leave.”
“And your mother?”
“Salt of the earth, as you’d expect any son to say, but in this case, it’s true. Nothing fazes the woman, or if it does, I’ve never seen her show it.”
“You’re like her.”
Gunner laughed. “I would’ve expected you to say I’m her polar opposite.”
Raketa tilted her head.
“Most would say everything fazes me.”
“I don’t agree. You’re very, what is the expression? Even-keeled?”
“If you think so, you don’t know me very well.”
Gunner saw the flash of hurt in her eyes that she quickly masked.
“I was joking,” he said, taking her hand in his. “You’ve seen sides of me very few have.”
“No one…” She shook her head.
Gunner leaned forward and brushed her lips with his. “I’ll finish your sentence for you. There’s no one I wanted to share my house with more than you.”
She scrunched her eyes.
“It’s true, Rocket Girl. I like having you here.”
“I like being here,” she whispered.
“You don’t have to be tentative with me. You’d know if I was lying to you. You’d also know if I didn’t want you here.”
“I’m not sure about knowing if you were lying to me.”
“Sure you would. Just like I know when you’re lying to me.”
Gunner waited. He was taking a risk, hoping that if he opened up to her, she might do the same. At least a little.
She took a deep breath, studying him.
“Trust me,” he whispered.
“I want to.”
“I won’t ask, Raketa. Whatever you want to tell me will be in your own time. I just hope, one day soon, you’ll trust me enough to tell me where your pain comes from.”
She stood, walked across the kitchen, and looked out the window. “It’s really beautiful here.”
“I agree.” The leaves were just beginning to change. Soon the entire island would be awash with the reds, oranges, and yellows of autumn, and shortly after that, the days would become increasingly colder.
“I grew up in a children’s home,” she began without turning around to look at him.
Gunner waited, steadfast in his commitment not to ask her questions.
—:—
“When I was young, my parents were killed.”
“That’s what you were told.”
She nodded, still not turning around to look at him.
“I was taken to Moscow.”
“From Azerbaijan.”
She nodded again, turning around to face him. “I became a child of the SVR.”
“When you were eighteen.”
“Before that.” He was making this easier on her by essentially stating what she left unsaid. “I was seventeen.”
Gunner nodded.
“That’s when I became Raketa. I left Zaryana behind.
“Raketa Ivashov.”
“My mother’s maiden name.”
“I see.”
“This is what you wanted to know, yes?”
Gunner stood and walked over to her. “No,” he said, pulling her close to him.
“Petrov has my mother.”
Gunner took a deep breath and kissed her forehead. “You want to go back and get her.”
Raketa rested her head against his chest and nodded.
“Then that’s what we’ll do.”
She pulled away from him. Was he serious? As easy as that? She doubted it, but what other angle could he be working?
“I’ll arrange a meeting.”
“With?”
“Let’s start with K19. We’ll determine what help we’ll need from there.”
“Why?”
“You’re asking why I’m willing to help you extract your mother?”
Raketa nodded, waiting for him to answer, but he didn’t right away. Instead, he kissed her.
Would she ever get used to how it felt to really be in his arms instead of fantasizing about it? What she’d once thought was simple attraction to a man whose body spoke to hers on a basal level, in reality, was so much more. She felt grounded and safe as much as she felt sexually aroused.
His hand wove into her hair and his fingers dug into her scalp as his kiss intensified. Raketa pressed her body against his, wishing neither of them were wearing so many clothes. When Gunner put his hands on her bottom and lifted her, she wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck as he carried her into the bedroom.
“Gunner?”
“Shh,” he said, lowering her body to the bed.
—:—
If she asked, Gunner wouldn’t be able to explain why the only way he knew how to tell her why he was willing to help her risk her life and his by going back into Petrov’s compound, was by joining their bodies together. Maybe because he hoped she realized that what they had was so much more than sex.
From undressing her to bringing her to the brink of ultimate pleasure again and again, Gunner took his time. This wasn’t sex. He was making love to the woman in his arms. Did she know that this was different without him having to say so? If he spoke now, his words might terrify her because when she wanted to know why, the only answer that came to mind was that he loved her.
Did she know when he kissed each of her eyelids, or the tip of her nose, or her forehead, that to him, they were the most precious kisses he’d ever given anyone?
As he ran his hands over the stiff peaks of her nipples, or down her sides, or along the soft skin of her tummy, did she know he’d never trail his fingertips over anyone’s naked flesh again?
When he felt her shudder as he brought his mouth to her sex, did she know that her taste was the only he’d know for the rest of his life?
When his hardness rested inside her, did she know that he’d never penetrate another woman’s body with his ever again?
When words of affection escaped her lips without her realizing it, did she know that he understood Azeri and that he knew she was feeling everything he was?
“Look at me,” he said when her eyes drifted closed. When they opened, their vividness burned a hole through his skin and into his heart.
“I’d die for you, Rocket Girl.”
“And I, you.”
“I…”
She rested her fingertips on his lips. “Shh,” she said, repeating what he’d told her earlier.
In that moment, he knew what he had to do. He’d told her they’d meet with the K19 team together, but they wouldn’t be.
—:—
When Gunner crept from the bed, Raketa continued to
pretend she was asleep. Talking to him now was out of the question. If she did, she’d tell him every secret she’d ever held close, every detail about the first thirty years of her life, and every single dream she’d had of him. Instead, she let him close the door on her unspoken words.
She slid from under the sheets of his bed and tiptoed into the bathroom. From there she could see him outside, on his phone, anxiously running the fingers of one hand through his hair.
Was he calling his K19 teammates to arrange for their help as he’d told her, or was he betraying the confidences she’d shared with him?
Doubt ate at her and she hated it.
—:—
“Hey, Raze,” Gunner said when his buddy answered his call. “Petrov is Ivashov’s father. The woman being held on his compound is her mother.”
“Shiv has been on standby, waiting for your confirmation.”
“Tell him I’m ready.”
“Good work, man.”
“Let me know when Mantis will be here.”
“Roger that.”
12
When Raketa finally came out of the room, Gunner was nowhere to be found. She’d watched him walk through the woods after he’d stuck his phone in the waistband of his shorts. That had been over two hours ago.
Soon it would be dark, and she was hungry. There was a bowl of fruit on the table in the kitchen; she ate a banana and then, a half hour later, an apple.
The knock on the door startled her. Why was Gunner knocking on his own door?
“What are you doing here?” she asked the man standing on the other side of it.
“I’m taking over your detail,” Monk said as he pushed past her.
“Why?”
The reality hit her in the face as hard as she wanted to punch the wall in front of her. Gunner had done exactly what he said he wouldn’t do. He’d used intimacy to get her to tell him what he wanted to know, and then as soon as she had, he left.
“I asked you a question,” she seethed at Monk. “Why are you here and where the hell is Gunner?”
He walked farther inside without answering her and dropped his bags on the floor near the hallway.
Gunner Page 9
