by Lily Luchesi
“I hid mostly in the club I own, also under the Carrie King persona. I had an apartment under that name, but it was hard to get my things in there and keep out the sunlight without drawing attention to myself, so I slept in the spare coffin room inside the club.
“I’d been searching for and killing demons the whole time, trying to get information out of them. No matter what I did to them, no one would tell me why I was being hunted. I know Leander has always wanted me dead, but this is overkill. He has every demon in existence out there, which means he is sacrificing souls they could be collecting to find me.”
“That is weird,” Mark agreed. “Could it be he was so in love with Fiona that he wants revenge?”
Angelica shook her head. “No, never. Demons are incapable of love.”
“Vampires are supposed to be as well, and yet you seem pretty enamored with Danny,” Mark pointed out.
She sighed. “It is not the same thing. When you pledge allegiance to Lucifer, you automatically forfeit love and happiness once your soul has turned demonic. It is actually in the contract. If you had an old love, some obsession with them might remain, but not real love. The closest thing they can come to is glee when they torture, corrupt, or kill. Violence is the only thing they understand.” She paused, and continued, her voice low, “I might be a full vampire, but my emotions are still intact. I do not know why, and I can tell you that they are more trouble than they’re worth.”
***
Helena had been sitting in a discarded office chair, while the werewolf who had helped train her watched her as if she was going to run off to WGN news and tell them what really went on in this building. As if anyone would believe her: this story was too wild even for the Enquirer!
Under the scrutiny of Bart’s glare, she turned her thoughts inward, concentrating on something the man named Mark had said, “No wonder you two keep falling in love.”
Angelica Cross was the mysterious “AC” who had lived with Danny, who had given him all of those books, and she was the person he dove into Hell to rescue. She was the one who had kept them apart, the one who Danny still loved. That was the only explanation for why Danny had never slept with her, why their relationship had never progressed from a kiss. He had never cared about her. She had merely been a placeholder until Angelica returned.
As that realization hit her, Danny reentered the room and gestured to Bart that he could leave. Once the werewolf had closed the door behind him, Danny took the chair he had just vacated, and she saw that his expression was troubled.
“He didn’t need to watch me like I’m some super villain who could escape any second,” Helena complained.
“Helena, I made a mistake telling you about this place. I didn’t realize what would happen when they found out I brought someone unauthorized into the PID,” he said. “Now we are at a crossroads, and your decision depends on how we act now.”
Helena leapt up, angry tears scalding her eyes. “How we act? Those two treated me like I am some leper, and that werewolf watched me like I was a murderer! I risked my life to help that little bitch in there and—”
“Hey!” Danny also stood up, eyes sharp. “Watch it, Helena.”
“Or what? You don’t need to defend your little girlfriend: I am sure she can do that on her own. I should be shown a little respect for what I did, not this condescension,” Helena said.
He scoffed. “What you did was reckless and ridiculous. And I helped you! No mortal can know about this place, unless you work for us. It’s in a contract I signed years ago.”
Helena crossed her arms uncomfortably. She had not wanted to get him in this kind of trouble. Angelica seemed like the type to execute anyone who disobeyed her, even Danny. “I’m sorry,” she said. “Really. I was being reckless. You don’t need to worry about me blabbing to anyone— even if I wanted to, who would believe me?”
“Yes, who indeed?” said a new voice.
Helena turned toward the door and saw that Angelica, the man named Mark, and Bart had reentered the room. The vampire sauntered over to them, her every move predatory. Helena realized that Danny did not notice the darkness that surrounded the woman he loved. She wasn’t a person: she was a monster, and somehow Danny either ignored it, or didn’t see it at all. Just her voice gave Helena the bad kind of chills.
“I think I might have come to a conclusion,” she continued. “I talked to one of our Grand Coven members. He can erase your memory of all of this, if you want. No harm, no foul. You’ll forget all about vampires and demons.”
Helena was surprised. She had thought that altering one’s mind via magic was impossible, even after realizing most fiction was actually real just a few days ago. “Is that safe?”
Angelica rolled her eyes. “We have witches and wizards who specialize in mind magic. Altering and erasing the mind, recovering lost memories from the subconscious, and a few other things precogs like Danny can’t do...yet. It is perfectly safe.”
“Is there no other choice?” Helena asked.
“Yes, there is,” Bart interrupted. “I offered to train you in weaponry, so you can assist the PID from the inside.”
Helena paused and thought, Well, if anything is preferable, I’d rather change jobs than have a part of my brain erased. But I will not let this little freak screw me around.
“I’d lose my job, though,” she said.
Angelica scoffed. “Unless you’re secretly a supermodel, I can guarantee you your pay here will be worth the change in profession.”
Helena let out a sigh. All her life, she had wanted an exciting adventure, like the books she read as a child. It looked like she was finally going to have her adventure...over two decades later!
“I’m in.”
Angelica’s dark, almost black eyes, gave a red flash. “Welcome to the team.”
Chapter Seven
What do demons want? Angelica was pacing in her old office, her nerves singing, telling her to get the Hell out of there. What demons wanted normally was chaos, murder, and hate. New souls for Lucifer’s army. What they wanted now was her, and she was putting everyone in danger by being there. She had never been the type of person to run from danger. She liked a challenge. She liked plotting against the darkness, feeling her blade bite flesh and watching the life leave the eyes of those who thought they could best her. From the moment she knew Leander was sending the Legion after her, she had hightailed it outta there.
And why? Because she finally had people she cared about in her life. Life can be funny that way. Now that she was ready to accept friends and love in her life, she was forced to leave or watch them all die. Yes, she thought, smiling darkly as she gazed at her computer screen. Life is a funny son of a bitch, isn’t it? Sometimes I wonder if God is a comedian in His spare time.
Not that it hindered her belief that creatures like her could be saved. Deep down she kept the faith she’d had her entire life, that one day, when her hateful immortal existence ended, there would be peace for her. However, her faith did not help her present situation.
She was roused from her contemplations by a quick knock at her door. “Enter,” she called. It was Danny. “You know you don’t have to knock, right?”
“Yes, but I also have a little thing called respect,” he replied, sitting down at her desk. “So, what’s the plan?”
She chuckled. “Who says I have a plan?”
He shrugged. “You always do.”
Yes, I do, don’t I? Then why am I fucking stuck and feeling like I’m sinking in quicksand? “What we need to do first is find out what the Hell Leander wants from me.”
“Well, what did they tell you when you were down there? He didn't even come see you?” Danny asked.
Angelica felt her heartbeat speed up. No, they hadn't told her anything except that Leander wanted her broken and more susceptible to “persuasion” before he spoke to her. So those two goons that Helena had shot had tortured her senseless for hours upon hours. She was fairly certain that she still had a few of th
e marks on her body, parts Danny couldn’t see at that moment. Her flesh had been hacked off, her skin burned, holy water poured into wounds, and they had even brought in a baby ignem infantem to burn her. And that wasn't the worst of it.
If she dwelled on it, she could still feel their harsh touch on her skin. She could see how happy they were at getting the opportunity to hurt her, a woman who had always seemed so untouchable. She had been a fan of torture as a tool to get information, but she had never actively enjoyed it. Not like they had. At least she’d had the mercy to kill those she tortured, not leave them to live and remember what they’d been through.
They wanted to break her, but they did not succeed. What they did succeed at, however, was to ensure that some small part of her body and soul had been irrevocably damaged. She’d never be the same again, and the thought brought hurt tears to her eyes.
“Angie? I asked if—”
“No.” She cut him off abruptly. “They didn't tell me anything.” But I can get them to tell me something, and get some revenge while I’m at it. She picked up her phone and pressed Mark’s extension. “Mark, if any agents catch demons, tell them not to exorcise or destroy. I want them for questioning.” Without waiting to hear his answer, she hung up. “We did it before, when we were searching for Fiona’s exemption. It should work now.”
Danny nodded, but he looked distant, and she was trying to decide if the predominant emotion on his face was concern or shame.
“Danny, spit it out. You’re getting that constipated look again,” she said with a smirk.
He stood up, eyes downcast. He was an eye-contact person, so she knew whenever he refused to look at her, whatever he had to say was not going to be good.
“I kissed Helena.”
Yep, she was right. It was not good. Hiding the burning pain of jealousy she said, “When?”
“About three months ago.”
Angelica couldn’t help it, she started to giggle. And here she thought he had just had a make-out session with her in the back of his Caddie like they were teenagers! “Sorry, but why are you so ashamed? I mean, you kissed her once while I was in hiding and think it’s like you’re Bill fucking Clinton? Come on, Danny. I told you, if you needed to move on, you should. And you did. It’s not a crime or a sin you need to confess. I sure as Hell am no priest!”
He shook his head, running a hand through his curls. “No, I know you told me to move on and find someone to make me feel human again. And Helena did make me feel human...but she didn’t make me forget you.” Now he was meeting her eyes. “She just made me miss you more. What she harbored for me is the remnant of a childhood crush. What I harbored for her was a desire to feel normal again. And you know what? I fucking hated it. I’d give up a normal life forever if it meant I could be with you.”
Angelica, though she knew Danny loved her, never fully comprehended why. And hearing him say he’d give up everything to be with her shocked her more than it should have. “I’m poison,” she said, not realizing it was going to come out of her mouth. “All I ever brought to you in either life was death and destruction.”
Danny walked around to her side of the desk. “Yes, you brought a lot of death with you. You put yourself in a position for darkness to follow you like a cloud. And I was aware of that in both lives. And I love you. Then and now. If you’re poison, then I’ll happily drink the Kool-Aid.”
When he reached for her and brought her into his arms, she let him. Admittedly, she felt like a fool. She had acted in a way she despised: jealous and petty. But who could blame her? This was the man she’d loved for a hundred and six years. It was easy to become envious after all that time had gone by.
She felt him shaking and smelled his salty tears.
“Don’t you ever leave me again,” he said, squeezing her tightly...well, tightly if she had not been a vampire. This barely felt like a baby garter snake around her waist. “You have no idea what I went through when I saw you were gone. I thought...I thought you were right, and I’d die without ever seeing you again.”
“I only wanted to keep you safe.”
“Well, your martyring days are over,” he said, pulling back and kissing her. “Come on. Enough planning. Let’s go home.”
Angelica closed her eyes, feeling some small warmth suffuse her at the thought of home. “Yes, let’s go.”
***
“You must feel terrible,” Bart said, startling Helena, who had been watching Angelica and Danny walk out of the building, arm in arm.
“Like you’d know anything about it,” she sniffed. She was tired, upset. She wanted to go home and sleep for a week. It isn’t every day that one goes into Hell, and finds out their romantic interest is wildly in love with a murderous vampire. Under the circumstances, she thought anyone would be in a pissy mood.
Bart scoffed. His voice was like rocks grinding against each other as he said, “I may not look like it, but I’ve been in love a time or two in my life.”
Helena turned back to him, surprised. It wasn’t that Bart was abhorrent, but he was a werewolf. Even with all the romance novels she’d read featuring shapeshifters, she had never seen them as romantic creatures. Something about eating human hearts kind of knocked all the sexiness out of them for her on a normal day. “Wanna talk about it? It’s better than my dwelling on the fact that a guy I’ve loved since I was twelve is leaving here with a killer.”
“Angelica might be...difficult, sometimes, but she’s a good person. Our species hate each other, and I can still find some good in her,” Bart commented. “In any case, if you so badly want to hear about my heartbreak, I was in love with a woman when I was in my early twenties. She was a nurse at the VA hospital, and I had just come back from war with my injuries. Things were going wonderfully for six months. I was even considering proposing, but first I had to tell her what I was.
“It was the very next day she transferred to another hospital and I saw a wedding announcement in the paper a few months later that she was marrying one of my doctors. So don’t tell me I don’t know how you feel.”
Helena felt awful. “I’m really sorry. That must have been awful, to be rejected for just being what you were. How long ago was that?”
“Forty years. Shit like that hurts for a long time,” Bart said. “And before you ask, werewolves live for two centuries on average.”
“Is that why you always look like someone pissed in your cereal every morning?” Helena asked, unable to hide her smirk. She was actually fond of a good scowl on a man, but she wanted to get Bart’s mind on slightly more playful things. She liked scowls, not nearly literal puppy dog eyes on a guy.
He arched an eyebrow at her, crossing his arms over his chest. “Your mood swings are so wide they should name a carnival pendulum ride after you.”
She should have felt offended, but she just laughed. It wasn’t the first time someone had pointed that out, and it wouldn’t be the last. She liked her emotions. It was something, she realized this evening, that separated her from Angelica Cross. Helena enjoyed feeling the full spectrum of emotions. When she was happy she was jubilant, and when she was pissed off she was not someone to contend with. It was part of being human, and she indulged in it. To not openly feel, to have that veil over your mind and wall around your heart like Angelica did, was inhuman and could wind up being dangerous.
“Come on. Let’s wrap this up so you can go and get some rest,” Bart said, gesturing to the weaponry book they had been studying. “Can’t imagine how you feel.”
“It hasn’t hit me yet, and I’m afraid of what might happen when it does,” she said. “I mean, can people go crazy from going into Hell like I did?”
Bart nodded. “It’s entirely possible, but don’t forget I had to approve you before you got to go, and I think you’re made of tougher stuff than even you think. If you’d rather not be alone, you can stay in the residential level here. I’ll stay and keep an eye on you to be sure you don’t have any negative mental effects.”
Helen
a didn’t know Bart well, and so she thought his speaking so much was normal. After all, everyone she knew was talkative. She didn’t realize he had spoken more to her in a night than he had to Danny for nearly three years in total.
“I think I’d like that. Thanks,” she said.
“People always want to go into their favorite books or TV shows,” Bart said. “Like you. But I’ve seen human agents literally lose their minds after taking one case here. Fiction is enjoyable because that’s what it is, fiction. Once it becomes real and the glamour is taken away, a lot of humans realize they made a big mistake. I don’t want to see that happen to you. Angelica might not have taken a shine to you, but I don't think you’re so bad to have around.”
This time, Helena let out an even louder laugh. “Was that supposed to be a compliment? Buddy, you have a long way to go!”
Bart chuckled as well. “This isn’t my usual thing.”
“I can tell,” Helena said. “You’ll get better.”
“You help me get a sense of humor, and I’ll help you fight like a werewolf. Deal?” Bart’s yellowish eyes sparkled. She found that their unusual color didn’t bother her. It was rather attractive when she thought about it.
“Deal.” Yes, she definitely liked him more than she thought she would. At that moment, she thought she’d like to get to know him a lot better. Perhaps that very night.
***
Home sweet home. Angelica had lived in the same loft since nineteen-sixty-nine, and before that the same house since eighteen-eighty-one. Before that, the same home from birth until eighteen-thirty-four. None of those places had felt like home except for Danny’s Wrigleyville house.
“Before I do anything, I need a severe shower and to throw these clothes away,” she told Danny. Going upstairs, she should have thought to ask if he’d kept her room, but she hoped he wouldn’t have dismantled it after not even a year.
