He sank back in his big leather chair and surrounded her hips with his hands. She glanced down at him, passion still in her eyes, but something else there, too.
“May I taste you?” he asked.
She nodded again.
He bent forward, resting his cheek against the lace and satin that covered her mound. Then he slowly turned his face until he was surrounded by her scent. He couldn’t wait any longer; standing, he ripped her panties from her body and carefully opened his fly.
Lila freed his long erection from his pants and brought him closer to her. The head of his manhood brushed against her and she moaned deep in her throat. She thrust against him, but Nick used his grip on her hips to slow the movement.
He slid carefully into her, slowly savoring each pulse around his hard length. She was small and tight, fitting him like a velvet glove. She tried to rush his possession, but he wouldn’t let her. He was the master here. In her body he’d found the place where he should always be.
He seated himself to the hilt and paused for a moment.
“Keep going, Nick.”
“Oh, I will,” he said, but didn’t move. Instead he bent to take her nipple into his mouth, sucking strongly until he felt her hips moving between his hands, felt the tiny tightening of her muscles against his manhood. Then he pulled out of her and started to thrust. Lila met him thrust for thrust, clutching his buttocks and pulling him to her.
The tension built inside him. He couldn’t hold on another second, but he had to. He waited until he felt Lila’s body clench around his, felt the extra warmth that hadn’t been there before, and then let himself go. Let his release take him to the stars and carry this sweet woman there with him.
He wanted to collapse against her but knew he couldn’t, so he lifted himself away and sank back into his office chair. Eventually his pulse slowed and sanity returned. He zipped his pants and felt the stickiness of their joining. Damn, he hadn’t used a condom.
Lila’s descent to reality seemed to take a little longer, however. Nick knew the moment it happened because she grasped the edges of her blouse together and refused to look at him.
Some mistakes were the kind that took you years to realize, Lila thought as she fought to rebutton her silk blouse. And others stared you in the face from the moment the actions were taken. What had felt so right minutes earlier now felt horribly wrong.
Her heart ached and her stomach churned like a hurricane in the Atlantic. She tried to act calm but having had only one other lover in her life hadn’t given her a lot of sophistication to call on in this type of situation. She slid off the desk and decided she could go home without panties or hose on because she sure as heck wasn’t rooting around under his desk to find them.
With a calmness that she knew had to be some sort of protective shell, she smoothed her skirt, tucked her hair behind her ear and walked away from the man who’d just tilted her neat little world. First with the announcement that the safe predictable life she’d built at Colette was in danger, and then with the soul-searing intensity with which he’d made love to her.
Part of her thought the whole thing entirely romantic, but the forbidding look on Nick’s face told her he wasn’t going to get down on one knee and confess his undying devotion to her.
This heartache’s on me, she thought, knowing that her fantasies about Nick had precipitated their love-making. She wanted to play it cool, but she was afraid if she tried to talk her voice would come out in a high-pitched squeak.
“Lila,” Nick said. His voice was low and calm, washing over her like a warm breeze on a summer’s day. She wanted to go to him and wallow in what he had to offer, but she knew it was a mirage.
“Yes,” she said, picking up her laptop and preparing to leave, still refusing to look at him.
“We have to talk about what just happened.”
Not if she lived to be a hundred would she ever want to discuss this with anyone. And certainly not with Nick. She made a noncommittal sound. Let him take that for whatever he wanted, she wasn’t up for a post mortem right now.
She heard his footsteps and refused to glance at him. His body heat reached her in waves, and now that she knew how strong he was and how right it had felt to be in his arms, he was even harder to resist.
“Honey.”
“Don’t,” she said, her voice cracking, as she’d feared it would. The way he’d pulled out of her body and sat in his chair waiting for her to recover told her more than words ever could. He did not think of her in an affectionate way, and she’d tolerate no lies from him.
“Lila, I didn’t mean for any of this to happen but it did and nothing can change the fact that neither of us was prepared for it.”
She became aware of the stickiness between her thighs. She knew immediately that he wasn’t only concerned about health issues but about pregnancy. How careless could she be? she asked herself. Hadn’t she learned anything growing up with her unmarried mother?
“I’m not on the pill,” she said. She was one of the small percentage of women who were allergic to it. It had never bothered her because she wasn’t swept away by desire. In fact, she had found the entire male-female lust-at-first-sight phenomenon to be highly overrated…until tonight.
“Well, hell,” he said, then turned away from her to utter something profane and succinct.
His words cut straight to her heart.
“Yes, hell. This isn’t the end of the world, you know.” Chances were she wasn’t pregnant.
Now he was the one avoiding eye contact. “It is for me.”
“Why?” she asked.
“Because I made a vow never to marry again.” His words affected her in a way she didn’t want them to, and dashed her secret hopes once and for all. She’d been dreaming of Nick Camden for so long that she’d put him on a pedestal, and here he was revealing his very real clay feet.
“I don’t recall asking you to marry me, Nick Camden.”
His laser-sharp gaze pinned her to her spot. He didn’t say anything in response to her sarcasm.
“If you’re pregnant we can discuss the choices to be made.”
“What are you insinuating, Nick?”
“That we will have to make some decisions once we know the full details of the situation.”
“This sounds like the verbiage for a damned memo. This isn’t about the job, you know. This is about life.”
“My job is my life, Lila.”
Truer words were never spoken.
“How soon until you’ll know if you’re knocked up?”
“Jeez, now that I’ve seen your charm I know why you’re so popular with the ladies.”
“Dammit, Lila—”
“Yes, dammit, Nick.”
She walked out of his office and grabbed her purse from the bottom desk drawer.
“You didn’t answer my question.”
She sighed. She knew how dogged he could be when he set his mind to something. “A few days maybe. I’m not real regular.”
She shut off her desk lamp and felt the heavy weight of his hand on her shoulder. “I’ll drive you home.”
“No, thank you.”
“It wasn’t an offer.”
“Was it an order?”
“Tell me you’re not planning to walk home in the dark.”
“I’m not planning to walk home in the dark,” she said, feeling an edge that she normally tempered with lots of baking and a call to her mother.
“Smart-ass.”
“Look, this is Youngsville, not Chicago. I’ll be fine.”
“You’re not going without me and that’s final.”
“Okay,” she said.
He grabbed his coat from the rack and reached around the corner to hit the light switch. Lila’s discarded undergarments were under his desk. He stopped and pocketed them without a word. Then he closed and locked his inner office door. He took her elbow and escorted her down the darkened hallway.
Lila felt the emotions inside her swirling like a black mist and rising so qui
ckly she couldn’t control them. She knew she had to keep her mouth shut but somehow the words wouldn’t stop.
“So I guess I shouldn’t ask if it was good for you?”
Three
Nick had been at some low places in his life but never had he felt like this. The night was pitch dark and he was thankful that Lila was silent as they drove. He didn’t think he could take much more conversation from her at this point. In his mind’s eye he was surrounded by an image of Lila’s wide brown eyes brimming with a sheen of tears.
Though his mind screamed for him to back away his body relived the incredible rightness that their joining had brought. And he knew that he should regret that he hadn’t used a condom when they’d made love, but deep inside he was glad he hadn’t. His groin still throbbed at the remembered feel of her around him.
Lila had been the fulfillment of his dreams, of what a woman could be. But she was his assistant, dammit. How could he have let this happen?
But he knew once hadn’t been enough. In fact, as he came to a stop in front of her building, he knew that he wanted to come up tonight and mate with her again. To cement what was between them so that she didn’t have to react with her sharp tongue.
“Well, thanks for the ride,” she said and then a bitter laugh escaped her. “I meant the car ride.”
“Lila, stop it. I’m sorry for the way that our first time happened, but I won’t let you think it meant nothing to me.”
“I’m sure you say that to all the girls, Nick.”
“I don’t have a stock of lines I pull out for the appropriate moment.”
“I’m relieved.”
She looked at him, but her expression was indiscernible in the feeble light of the street lamp. He knew his reaction earlier had made his comments seem, well, like a lie, but truer words had never been spoken. Lila meant more to him than the faceless ladies in his past and she deserved better than a burnt-out executive whose only emotion was cold, hard lust.
Except it hadn’t felt cold or hard when he’d been with Lila. Buried in her sweet warm body he’d felt like he’d found the home he’d been forcing Colette, Inc. to be for years.
“Are you feeling better?”
She shook her head, the silky length of her blond hair was illuminated by the light of the moon. He wished he’d taken his time with her. He wished they’d had all night to learn each other’s bodies instead of a hurried explosion in his office. He wished that he could go back to the moment he’d pulled away from her and lie against her breast and comfort them both.
“I can’t do this right now. I’m achy and not myself,” she said.
“That’s okay.”
“No, it’s not. I’m feeling mean, Nick. And I want to hurt you so deeply that you’ll still feel it weeks from now.”
“If it would make you feel better.”
She looked out the window, and when she spoke again her voice was so soft he had to lean in to hear it. “My mother gave birth to me when she was only sixteen. I’ve never met my father.”
Simple sentences. Simple words that summed up a life that was anything but simple. He hadn’t realized how complex the situation was, but now he did.
“We’re not in that situation.”
“No?”
He wanted to do the right thing, to say he’d marry her if she found out she was pregnant with his child, but he knew he couldn’t. The low points in his life were manageable because he’d found a way to guarantee they never happened a second time. He’d made the vow never to marry again because Amelia’s death had cut through the layers of who he was and left him a quivering mound of insecurity. If there was one thing he wouldn’t tolerate it was weakness.
“Well, you’re not sixteen.”
She reached for the door handle and Nick hit the locks.
“Let me out of the car.”
“I can’t.”
“Don’t be silly. You run a multimillion-dollar division for a large corporation, this should be a cinch for you.”
“I want you to tell me that you’ll stop beating yourself up about this. I seduced you.”
“I had no idea you were this bossy in your personal relationships,” she said, whipping her head around to face him. She leaned in close and he could taste her breath as it brushed across his face.
The leather seats and her scent teased his mind, tempted him to pull across the gearshift as he had this morning and kiss her until she was too exhausted to talk.
“You didn’t seduce me.”
He had. He knew he had. He’d been feeling out of control and had called on the one thing he could count on. Lila. She’d soothed him and comforted him and taken him out of his skin to a place he’d never really been before.
And he’d repaid her by possibly impregnating her. God, his technique could use some work. Except with Lila all those practiced moves didn’t work.
“I’m not about to debate this with you. Thanks for bringing me home.”
She manually unlocked the door and opened it. The chilly evening air swirled inside. It swept through the warmth and seeped into his clothing.
She closed the door and walked away without a backward glance. He watched the fluidity with which her limbs moved, while surrounded by the scent of her perfume and the chill of the autumn evening. The pain in his soul was unexpected but no less sharp than a knife to the gut.
Lila Maxwell already meant more to him than she should, but watching her walk away hurt. And knowing that he’d brought her pain added to the hurt that was layering through him.
Lila was tired by the time three o’clock rolled around. She’d been up since five in the morning baking pies and breads, which she’d dropped off at the Youngsville Nursing Home on her way to work. The route had taken her twenty minutes in the opposite direction, but she hadn’t minded. She’d needed the therapy that baking had brought.
She’d tried leaving Rose’s brooch at home but hadn’t been able to. It complemented the deep-brown silk shirt she wore with a long black skirt.
Longingly, she fingered the piece of jewelry, then dropped her hands to her keyboard and forced herself to get back to work.
Nick had been out of the office all morning, which meant she’d fielded a lot of calls from concerned staff on both the international and domestic teams. Lila didn’t mind the extra time on the phone because it kept her mind busy. And busy meant away from that open door leading to Nick’s office.
The phone rang as Nick returned to the office. Lila scheduled an appointment for Nick for the following week and pretended that he wasn’t standing on the other side of her desk staring at her. Pretended that he was still just a casual acquaintance. Pretended that last night had never happened.
She concluded the call but didn’t move. She was an efficient secretary until Nick walked into the room.
“Aren’t you going to look at me?” he asked, taking the handset from her grip and depositing it in its cradle.
“Sure,” she said, smiling up at him. All business, she reminded herself. “You need to sync your Palm Pilot. There are three urgent messages and an update to this afternoon’s calendar.”
“I’ll do it right away. I’d like a few minutes of your time,” he said. He was tired. He rubbed the back of his neck and loosened his tie. She wanted to pull him into her arms and offer him comfort. But couldn’t.
She glanced at her day planner. Of course the afternoon was empty. But she wasn’t ready to accommodate him. In the middle of the night as she lay in her bed staring at the cracks in the ceiling she’d realized that life gave you what you sought out. And she was seeking more than a man who couldn’t commit to her.
“I’m in the middle of a proposal. Maybe later?” she suggested, knowing his afternoon was booked.
Suddenly she realized why people advised you not to get involved with someone at work. It made the atmosphere very tense and uncomfortable. Before, they’d been a team, and Lila had felt that she had his respect. But not anymore.
He put his hand on
hers. It cut to the core. His big, warm hand surrounding her small one. Protecting, cherishing. His forefinger moving in a slow sweep from wrist to knuckles. “Lila…”
Not fair, she thought. But she nodded and stood, reluctantly tugging her hand from under his. “I only have five minutes.”
“That’s all I ask.”
“I’ll be right in.” Lila waited until Nick left and forwarded her phone to one of the executive secretaries down the hall. The volume of calls today and the nature of them made her want to guarantee that someone answered the phone and reassured whoever called that Colette, Inc. was doing okay.
She entered Nick’s office. Instead of seeing the plush surroundings she saw Nick sitting at his desk, looking a little lonely and very closed off. This was the man she’d hoped to reach.
“Have a seat.”
She settled in his guest chair, trying hard to forget the incredible passion they’d shared on his cherrywood desk not even twenty-four hours ago, how his body had felt inside hers, how full and how right.
“I hope you’re feeling better today.”
“I wasn’t ill yesterday,” she said softly.
“I meant that smart mouth of yours.”
“Oh.” She wished she reacted to hurt the way others did, but she always lashed right back out. It was a holdover from her childhood, and she wished she could shake it but hadn’t been able to yet.
“Well?” he asked.
“I’m fine.”
“Good. I wanted to apologize for not protecting you.”
She raised one eyebrow. “If you’d like me to keep my sarcasm hidden then please don’t make any other comments like that.”
“I didn’t protect you, Lila.”
“I’m just as much at fault. It wasn’t as if we’d planned it. I’d have been surprised if you had pulled out a condom.”
“I also wanted to reassure you that if there is a child, I’ll offer you my full support.”
Lila was surprised. “I thought you didn’t want marriage.”
“I meant financial and, of course, emotional support, but I won’t marry again, especially not because of an unplanned pregnancy.”
Some Kind 0f Incredible (20 Amber Court Book 2) Page 3
