“You drew attention to yourself and to us.”
She wasn’t ready to deal with those consequences yet. She’d spent the afternoon sequestered in the office avoiding others, but she knew that couldn’t last. “I couldn’t walk away without saying something.”
“I know.” The quiet certainty in his voice touched her. She slid out of her chair and walked around next to him. Needing to touch him, she cupped his jaw and ran the ball of her thumb over his lips. His sharp intake of breath made her breasts feel heavier and her blood heat even more.
“What else do you know?” she asked.
He bit her thumb and held her flesh captive for a moment, nibbling on it. “That if I don’t make love to you tonight I will go insane.”
“Well, we don’t want that.”
“No, we don’t. I’ve been imagining you on my bed since the first time we made love.”
“Then let’s fulfill your fantasy,” she said.
“I hope we’ll get to some of your fantasies as well.”
Nick stood and lifted her in his arms. Lila knew that they’d already met and filled her fantasies. The man who’d orchestrated this evening wasn’t a man intent on having a fling. This was a man who could make a lifetime commitment, baby or no baby. And that made Lila’s heart pulse to life for the first time ever.
Nick had wanted Lila in his bed for so long that when he lowered her onto the navy counterpane, he had to step back and really look at her there. The light spilling from the hallway painted her in shadows. And for a moment Nick wondered if she were really there at all. Maybe she was only an illusion that would disappear the first time he tried to touch her.
Her long blond hair contrasted with the darkness of the bedspread and pillows. She flung her arms out to either side and lay there before him. Legs slightly parted, her skirt high on her thighs. She kicked her shoes off and opened her arms, welcoming him.
Lust inflamed him, his sex had never felt as engorged as it did while he watched her on the bed. Though he knew the secrets her body held, she seemed to embody everything mysterious about women. And in that moment she was the only woman to his man.
He stepped out of his loafers, hand going to his belt buckle. He wanted tonight to be special, a slow seduction of the senses, but with Lila there was no gentling. It was an intense rush that encompassed not only his body but also his soul.
“Tonight is for you,” he said, hoping saying the words would give him the control he needed to make this one of the slow and tender times.
“I hope it’s for you, too.”
“It is.”
“Then come here. I’m lonely without you.”
He let his belt fall to the floor and pulled his shirt from the waistband of his pants, but otherwise left all of his clothing on. Lila reached for the buttons on the front of her blouse but he stilled her hands.
“I’ve always enjoyed unwrapping my presents.”
“A present, am I?”
The sweetest one he’d ever received, but he didn’t say the words out loud. Instead he just unfastened her shirt and then slipped it off her body. She was heart-stoppingly lovely in the pale light of the moon. Her silk and lace bra cupped the alabaster globes of her breasts as a lover would. As he planned to. Her nipples beaded against the fabric and Nick couldn’t wait another moment to taste her.
Bending down, he nipped lightly at her nipple before suckling her. She moaned and her fingers tunneled through his hair, holding him to her. He relished her touch. Her hands slipped from his head down his neck and then to the front of his shirt.
He leaned back and ripped it over his head. She watched him through half-closed eyes as he returned to her. He reached down and unfastened her bra. He slid it down her arms and she lifted a little to help but he left it at her wrists, effectively chaining her arms behind her.
“Nick?”
“Trust me?”
“Yes,” she said, the word a sigh.
He rubbed his chest against her bare breasts with their hardened nipples, feeling the impact to his soul. He supported her with a hand under her shoulders so that her wrists weren’t strained. Her hips rose from the bed, nestling against his hardness.
He bent and took her mouth, kissing her as if he’d never tasted her before. He nibbled around the edges of her mouth until she groaned and her hips ground harder against his erection. Then he plunged his tongue deep into her mouth.
Nick wanted her naked and writhing on the bed, to see her offered up before him like a virgin sacrifice of old. He propped two pillows under her shoulders and pulled back, stripping her skirt, hose and panties down her legs at the same time.
The sudden loss of his body heat and her clothing made her flinch and she tried to cover herself. “Let me see you, Lila.”
“This feels…”
“Decadent?”
“No.”
“Uncomfortable?”
“Uneven.”
“Ah…”
“Take off your clothes, Camden.”
“Not yet. I’m still in charge.”
“Do I get a chance?”
“Yes.”
“Five minutes?”
He nodded.
“I’m your willing slave.”
“Spread your legs, Lila.”
She moved them apart a little bit.
“Farther.”
She did, but her hands still hovered over her breasts. She hesitated.
“Trust me,” he said.
She did as he asked and lay before him as he’d imagined so many times. She was infinitely lovelier than any woman he’d ever seen. He wanted her so badly he knew he wouldn’t last long.
He wanted to taste her from head to toe and lowered himself between her legs to do just that. He started at her left foot and worked his way slowly up her body, pausing to carefully bite behind her knee. At the apex of her thighs, he sucked on the skin so close to her center that he felt her humid warmth. He sucked until she moaned and lifted her hips from the bed.
When he moved on to sweeter flesh, he left behind a small mark. He wanted to leave more of them behind. He parted her silken flesh and bent to taste the pearl he’d revealed. Lila’s breaths were quickening. Her flesh quivered when he blew across it and when he touched her lightly with his tongue, she cried out.
He felt her body’s response to him, wanted to feel it on his most sensitive flesh. He thrust two fingers inside her and she welcomed him with a fierce clenching that made his arousal even fuller.
“I can’t wait,” he said.
“I can’t either,” she said.
He freed himself and thrust into her. She was still quaking from her earlier climax, and he waited for her to calm then began to build the tension within both of them again. He kissed her eyes and cheeks, the long length of her neck and the berry-hardened tips of her breasts.
He caressed her back and spine, finally cupping her buttocks in his hands and tilting her hips so that he could thrust deeper inside her. She lifted herself to him and he felt the minute contractions in her lower body around his most intimate flesh. It was like being caressed by the warmest, wettest glove. A red haze settled over him and he put his arms under her legs, bending them slowly back toward her body.
He stopped when she gasped. He could barely think, much less speak, but he had to know if she was okay. “Hurt?”
She shook her head. “Can you take more of me?” he asked.
She nodded and he pressed her legs back farther until she was completely open to him. He thrust deeper, deeper than he’d ever been before. He felt as if he were touching her womb and then he climaxed. He felt Lila’s body clench around him again and their eyes locked as they shot together to the stars. It was a long, hard ride and it emptied him of his seed—rocking him to his very soul.
Ten
Lila knew that some dreams never came true. She’d spent her childhood searching for a father who never appeared. She’d spent her teenage years waiting for a white knight to rescue her from the
cruel taunts of the other kids. She’d spent half her life waiting for Mr. Right—and he’d appeared out of the blue.
The lingering stickiness between her legs reminded her that Nick hadn’t used a condom. She wasn’t sure what that meant. Maybe he’d forgotten again, but she doubted it. The act of unprotected sex had to mean more to him than that.
She looked at the man lying still and quiet next to her in the dark. Their bodies were covered in a sheen of sweat and Lila didn’t feel strong enough to move under the covers.
She shivered a little and Nick pulled her closer to his body, wrapping himself around her, cupping her buttocks in his palm and brushing his lips against her neck. She’d never felt so cherished, so vulnerable, so…loved.
But love wasn’t something she trusted. It didn’t lead to respectability but to passion-filled unions. Though his body protected her now, she’d never felt as exposed as she had earlier, when he’d been in control. Surrendering control had been difficult.
She stirred in his arms, needing their relationship to be equal. Needing to see if what he felt for her was on the same level as what she felt for him. Did he trust her enough to cede control?
Running her fingers down the line of hair on his chest, she tickled the spot right above his groin. His flesh hardened and she caressed him tenderly. His touch on her back changed from languid to inciting, sliding around to the front of her body, brushing his forefinger across her nipple until a delicious warmth gathered between her legs.
The sexual energy in the room rekindled, and she felt its pull. She knew that she was about to surrender to him once again. But she wanted, no, needed to be his equal tonight. She needed to know that this encounter wasn’t going to be relegated to another affair with another woman in his mind. She needed to know that he felt for her what she felt for him.
She glanced up his long lean body. His eyes were open and he studied her with an intensity that left her breathless.
“You rang?”
She wanted to feel what he did, that sense of surety in her partner that he had in her. She knew that the next few minutes would determine whether or not they’d both found something lasting. Knew that it was up to Nick to make the next move. Knew that she had to be brave enough to follow through.
“Nick, I want my five minutes,” she said.
He stared at her, and her heart sank. He wasn’t going to give up control for anything…not even her. He rubbed his jaw and looked away.
She felt what he wasn’t saying. That her emotions were stronger than his. That she’d bared her soul, but his lay safely protected. That she loved him, but he didn’t trust in that love enough to make himself vulnerable.
Suddenly her nakedness made her uncomfortable. She tugged on the sheets, trying to cover herself. She should leave. But she couldn’t move right now. If she shifted in one direction she’d explode into a million pieces.
He touched her back, one finger moving slowly down the line of her spine. Then she felt the heat of his mouth in a slow, burning kiss just above the curve of her buttocks.
“Lila?”
She couldn’t look at him. “Yes?”
“Okay.”
At first she wasn’t sure she’d heard him correctly, the word had been uttered so softly.
One glance at his eyes was all the confirmation she needed. She saw in them a light that she’d never seen before.
“On your back, Camden.” She wanted to explore his body. Though they’d made love several times she’d always focused on her reactions. Loving Nick as she did, she wanted to find out what drove him over the edge.
“I’m yours to command.”
The thrill of power went to her head, and she closed her eyes for a minute. But only a minute. She knelt next to him and realized that she didn’t want him to be in the same position she’d been in. She wanted this to be equal, but different.
“On your knees.”
He knelt next to her on the bed. She didn’t need to tell him to spread his legs. The strength of his erection necessitated that. She drew her nails up the length of his thighs, teasing him by caressing him everywhere but on the hungry flesh that craved her touch.
If she’d learned one thing from Nick it was that waiting made the culmination so much sweeter. Leaning forward she bit his pectoral right above his flat nipple. He moaned.
She sucked lightly on his skin. His hands moved up to hold her to him. He rubbed his chest against her mouth. The hair over his muscles made her lips tingle. She moved down his body, tracing him with her mouth. He leaned back and spread his legs wider. She slid between them. She felt his hot erection brushing at her stomach and reached down to take him in her hand.
She stroked him a few times, then his hand on hers stilled the motion. “I’d rather be inside you when I climaxed.”
“I’d rather have you there.”
He lay back on the pillows and pulled her forward. Lila slid over him, bracing herself with her hands on his shoulders. Nick helped her to impale herself on him. She rode him carefully, unsure of herself in this position. Unsure of herself in the dominant role. But Nick, teeth gritted and eyes locked to hers, was letting her take the lead.
Each time she slid up on him, his hips rose slightly, when she slid back down, his fingers flexed on the bed and his hands moved toward her hips.
The slow sensuous moving was a delicious torture. But soon she wanted more and murmured, “Okay, control is yours again.”
She realized she really only wanted his trust, not to take him as he’d taken her. Because, as he held her hips and thrust into her as if he couldn’t get enough of her, she realized that what he felt for her was as intense as what she felt for him. She felt her climax coming, and then Nick’s as he reached between their bodies to caress her more intimately.
Her entire body tensed, and she felt Nick’s warmth deep inside her. As she lay down on his body, his strong arms wrapped around her, she knew she’d never sleep alone again. She knew that Nick was ready for a lifelong commitment. She smiled to herself and drifted off to sleep imagining living in his house as man and wife.
Nick felt as if every nerve in his body had been exposed last night. The sensuality exceeded even his fantasies, but the result was a shocking vulnerability he’d never felt before. He didn’t like it.
Lila looked small and fragile in the morning light that spilled through the windows. Last night she’d been a match for him in the dark, but now she seemed too delicate for him and the life he’d led.
She stirred on the bed, and he climbed out before she awoke. Although his first instinct was to cradle her close and never let her go, he’d found that the things you held on to hardest were usually the ones that slipped most easily away.
He went into the bathroom, bracing his hands on the sink, and bowed his head. What had started out as one thing—seduction and thank you—had turned into a soul-baring experience that made him doubt his sanity.
He couldn’t live with someone who brought him that close to his true self. He couldn’t be with her night after night until she left and still survive.
It had been different with Amelia. She’d never breached his inner walls, and even if she’d survived the cancer, he’d never have been able to let her past them. He didn’t think he could live with Lila seeing him at his softest, knowing the power she had over him.
He showered and shaved, and, when he emerged from the bathroom, he was no closer to figuring out what he was going to do next. One thing was certain, Lila and he could never live together.
He stopped as he entered his bedroom. Lila was sitting on the window seat overlooking the backyard. She wore only his discarded shirt. Her knees were held tight to her chest and her glorious blond hair fell in rumpled waves against her back.
She looked alone and scared. After last night, she deserved to wake up in the arms of her lover—not alone. But he’d been unable to stay. How was he going to tell her that they couldn’t see each other anymore?
Wounding her went against th
e grain, but in this instance his own self-preservation won out. His survival had to be paramount. He cared deeply for Lila, but she would move on and love again. At least that’s what he kept telling himself.
He walked across the room, stopping about ten feet away from her. She glanced over her shoulder. Her eyes were guarded, and there was no welcoming smile on her face.
“I’m…” He spread his hands. Damn, he hated these kinds of conversations. Not that he’d ever really had them. Amelia hadn’t touched him as deeply as Lila did. His parents hadn’t either.
“Scared?” she asked.
He shrugged. Scared wasn’t a word he’d ever apply to himself and he didn’t like hearing her use it. But he knew that he was running from her. Even rationalizing it didn’t help.
Honesty seemed like the best option at the moment. “Not sure what to say.”
“How about that we’re great together and you can’t imagine us living apart?” She stood up and the anger in those movements cut him deep. Carefully he looked at her, cataloging her features and her expression. This was his great gift to womanhood. Anger and disillusionment. He never wanted to forget this.
“That’s not in the cards for us.”
“It could be.” She marched up to him and stood, arms akimbo, before him. The hem of his shirt lifted to the top of her thighs. His entire body tightened. He wanted to slide his hand up under that shirt, knowing she was naked and needing to touch her. He didn’t know if he could stop himself.
He started to reach for her, imagining her soft skin under his touch. Imagining the return of the passion that had swept them away the night before. Realizing that nothing would ever again be the same between them.
She glared at his hand hanging in mid-air. He dropped it to his side, but Lila clasped it in her own. Her grip was cold and firm.
“Dammit, Nick. What happened?” Her eyes were glassy and he knew she was fighting back tears. He felt like a big bully on the playground.
Some Kind 0f Incredible (20 Amber Court Book 2) Page 10
