by Cassie Hamer
So why did he feel so restless?
On paper, everything was great. His job was satisfying, his girlfriend was smart and gorgeous and they lived in the coolest suburb in Sydney. Why was he trying to get away from it all by moving to Dubai? It wasn’t like he had to apply for the promotion.
Jared gunned the accelerator and the scooter fish-tailed as he took a tight corner. He was on Anzac Parade now, just passing the stadium. The city was fading behind him and flapping overhead was the city’s bat colony, making its sunset migration into Centennial Park. Ahead lay the suburbs where Jamie’s sister and her family lived. Single-storey homes. Backyards with pools and lawns that would need mowing—a far cry from the tiny courtyard that constituted the entire outdoor space of the terrace he shared with Jamie.
Jared took a left-hand turn off the main drag, and then a right, and another right. The street was empty and riding down it, he had the sensation of being watched by the squat houses with their big front windows, like unblinking eyes. He noted the trampolines, the abandoned kids’ bikes in front yards. The whole thing had the air of an abandoned fun park.
He parked the scooter and took off his helmet. This was his future. After the Dubai secondment, he and Jamie would return to Sydney. She would probably want to start a family. Have a baby.
A baby. Even though the afternoon was still warm and slightly sticky, Jared felt a chill run through his bones.
He was sure Jamie would understand. After all, it had happened well before they met. That it had never come up in conversation before was somewhat surprising. He knew most women tended to grill their boyfriends about previous girlfriends. Not Jamie. She was too self-assured for that. But entering into a marriage, even an engagement, was like entering into a contract—it was only fair that both parties do their due diligence, and in that light, it was only fair that he share with her, before they made it official. It wasn’t like he’d held material information from her, but he conceded that a woman may see it differently.
Squaring his shoulders, Jared strode up the front path and rang the bell.
‘Jared! Congratulations! What a surprise! A wedding. So exciting. So … surprising!’ Jamie’s sister, Lisa, kissed and hugged him warmly.
Oh shit! Jamie had already told her about the engagement. Of course she would. Mentally, Jared face-palmed. That’s what women did. They shared these things. But he wasn’t quite ready for this. It felt like he’d turned up to court without his briefcase.
‘Thank you. I’m still—’ he searched for the words ‘—I’m still getting used to the idea.’
Lisa gave him a funny look. Oh shit. Not quite the right response. ‘But I’m very happy of course. Jamie’s a great girl.’
‘She sure is.’ Lisa hugged him again. ‘We know you’ll do the right thing by her.’
Was that a statement, or a warning?
She stood aside from the door. ‘Come in. Come in. Jamie’s inside. Did you find your way here okay?’
Was that another dig at him? About finding his way to the house? In their years of dating, Jared had successfully avoided most Wheeldon family functions, a fact he was sure wouldn’t have gone unnoticed. Nah. Jamie’s sister was too nice to make snide remarks. He dismissed the thought. Still, there was something a little odd about Lisa today. She was even more bright-eyed than usual. Perhaps a little manic.
In the kitchen, Lisa’s husband was drinking a beer and frowning. Both unusual activities for him. Scott was a genial fella. A little on the boring side and rubbish taste in beers, but that wasn’t his fault.
‘Hey, mate.’ Jared reached out his hand.
‘Hi, Jared.’ Scott shook it. ‘I hear congratulations are in order,’ he said in a subdued voice.
‘Yeah, yeah. It’s all happened pretty quickly.’
‘Would you like a beer, Jared?’ Lisa busied herself about the kitchen.
‘Umm …’ He thought about saying no, but there was a tension in the air to which he didn’t want to add. ‘Sure.’
Silence. The only sound in the room was the hiss of the cap being pulled from the beer bottle. What the hell was going on? These two were usually the chattiest, happiest couple Jared knew. But right now, the room was stretched tight as a drum with the quiet.
‘Uh, where’s Jamie?’ Jared swigged his beer.
‘She’s in our bedroom.’ Scott’s mouth was set in a line. ‘Ava and Jems are in bed, asleep. Been a big day. You know how it is.’ He gave a weak smile.
‘Sure.’ Actually, Jared had no idea how it was. The last kid’s birthday party he’d been to was his own, when he was eleven.
‘We had a little … problem. At the party.’ Lisa was still playing with the bottle opener, twisting it nervously this way and that.
‘Let me guess. The piñata didn’t break,’ Jared joked. No one laughed. What the hell was wrong with these two? It was a five-year-old’s party for god’s sake. It couldn’t possibly have been that disastrous.
‘One of the mothers didn’t turn up to collect her child,’ said Scott evenly, his arms still folded and the beer resting in the crook of his arm. ‘And she left a note.’
‘Right.’ Jared still wasn’t following. What was the big deal about a mum running late?
Silently, Lisa passed him a piece of paper. As he read, Jared’s eyes widened.
‘You really don’t know this woman?’
Lisa shook her head as Jared handed her back the note.
‘We went around to the little girl’s flat. But there’s nothing there. It’s been completely emptied out.’ Lisa’s voice was high-pitched. ‘And now we don’t know what to do.’
Scott and Lisa looked at Jared expectantly.
‘Shit. Don’t look at me. I’ve got no idea.’ This was too fucking strange. The sooner he and Jamie got out of here, the better. They had enough on their plate without having to deal with some weirdo woman who’d decided to leave their kid with a bunch of strangers, even if the strangers happened to be Jared’s future in-laws. Lisa and Scott were good people but Christ—it didn’t matter how nice they were, it wasn’t right to leave a kid on their doorstep without any warning or pleases or thank yous.
‘So Jamie’s in with the kid now?’ asked Jared.
‘Yes. They’re reading stories together while we work out what the hell to do next.’ Scott raked his fingers through his hair.
The guy was completely stressed out. Even Jared could see that.
‘I might go and say hi.’ Jared left his beer bottle on the bench as Lisa showed him to the stairs.
Jared climbed slowly and with a growing sense of doom. This had been a strange day. A very strange day. There were too many fucking secrets in the world. Well, there was about to be one less. Jared would come clean. He would tell Jamie everything. At least that would be a little of the weight lifted from his shoulders.
From behind the bedroom door, he could hear low murmurings. He opened it quietly to find Jamie stretched out on the bed beside a little girl whose face was hidden behind a large picture book.
‘Knock, knock,’ said Jared, not wanting to scare them.
‘Hey, babe.’ Jamie rolled off the bed and stood to kiss him. She clasped her hands around his neck. ‘I’m so glad you’re here.’
‘So am I,’ he whispered into her ear. ‘There’s something I really need to tell you.’
‘Jamie, could we please finish the book? I really want to know what happens to the pig.’ The voice was sweet and young.
‘Sure, Ellie. But first I want you to meet my fiancé, Jared.’ Jamie led him towards the bed.
The little girl lowered the book and locked eyes with Jared. ‘Hello,’ she said. ‘I’m Ellie.’
Jared blinked, and blinked again. Then rubbed his eyes.
‘Jared? What is it? What’s wrong?’
Jared shook his head. What the hell was going on? Half-formed thoughts tripped over themselves in his head. The hair, it was just like … And the shape of her face, he knew that pointy little chin anywhere. And t
hose blue eyes, that particular shade of cornflower blue that was exactly like … And that little ski-jump nose, the one he used to …
Trembling, Jared stepped away from the bed. This was too weird. He thought he was cool with his past. After all, what was done was done. But maybe it wasn’t. Maybe what he thought was done, was not done at all. Maybe it was here, sitting in his future sister-in-law’s bedroom.
‘What is it, hon? What’s wrong?’ Jamie caught his arm.
‘Nothing. No. Nothing,’ he stuttered and shook his head. ‘I forgot. A work thing. I’ve gotta go. Sorry.’ He rushed out of the room and took the stairs two at a time. Near the bottom, he stopped and leant his head against the cool wall.
Upstairs, he heard the bedroom door closing. ‘Don’t worry about him, Ellie. Men can be a little bit funny sometimes.’
Jared made a fist and ground it into the wall. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
He wiped his sweaty palms against his pants and reentered the kitchen, where Scott and Lisa stood with their heads bowed together, talking quietly.
‘Hey, guys. I just remembered there’s something urgent I have to do at work.’ Jared collected his keys from where he’d put them on the bench.
‘On a Sunday night?’ said Lisa doubtfully.
‘Yep. Has to be done before Monday. Should have done it on Friday, but hey, you know how it is. Just slipped my mind.’
He gave Lisa a quick kiss on the cheek and from the hallway he waved at Scott. ‘Can you guys just say sorry again to Jamie for me?’
‘You’re not even going to say a proper goodbye?’ asked Lisa, following him down the hall.
‘Nah. She’s reading with …’ He couldn’t even say her name. ‘She’s reading a book with the kid and I don’t want to interrupt again.’
Jared couldn’t get out of the house quickly enough. As Lisa closed the front door behind him, he paused on the step and breathed as if surfacing from a deep dive. The street was now bathed in a golden glow from the setting sun, and in the distance, the lights of the city were starting to come on.
Jared jumped on his scooter and sped towards them.
CHAPTER TEN
‘Ellie, honey. We thought you might like a little snack, seeing as you didn’t eat much dinner.’ Lisa padded into the bedroom holding a cup of milk and Scott followed behind her with a plate of bickies.
‘Ooh yum. Choc-chip is my fave.’ Jamie leant off the pillow to take a biscuit, and then passed another one to Ellie. ‘Here you go.’
‘Thank you, Jamie.’ Ellie started munching. ‘Hmmm … yummy. Thank you, Lisa. Thank you, Scott.’
The girl’s manners were impeccable. She was such a sweet little thing, which made what Lisa was about to do all the more difficult.
‘Ellie, I know we’ve already asked you a lot of questions. But we just want to ask you a few more because we really want to find your mummy and tell her you’re okay.’
The little girl nodded and Scott cleared his throat. ‘Ellie, does your mum have a job?’
Ellie nodded again. ‘She calls it the panelbeaters.’
‘So, she’s a mechanic?’ said Scott with a rising inflection.
‘A mechanic?’ Ellie looked at Jamie.
‘Someone who fixes cars.’
‘I don’t think it’s that.’ Ellie said quietly. ‘I don’t really know.’
‘When she goes to work,’ said Lisa, ‘who looks after you?’
Ellie’s face brightened. ‘Joanna’s my babysitter. She takes me to the park and the library and she teaches me lots of things. Reading and writing, stuff like that.’
‘And where does Joanna live?’ Scott leant forward.
‘She’s gone back to her home. I think it’s called Iceland.’ Ellie screwed up her face.
‘Ireland?’ Jamie offered.
‘That’s it,’ agreed Ellie. ‘She went back last week cause her knees-up was finished.’
‘Knees-up?’ said Scott quizzically.
‘I think she means visa,’ said Lisa, who considered herself fluent in child-speak. ‘She must have been an au pair.’
On they went, asking Ellie every single question they could think of that might lead to a name or a phone number. Yes, Ellie’s mum had a mobile phone—one of those little flip ones—and Ellie liked to look at photos, but the screen was tiny and no, she didn’t know the number. No, she didn’t have any cousins or aunties or uncles or grandparents that she ever visited. Yes, she liked sports and dancing, but no, she never took classes. She and Mummy just played ball at the park and did ballet around the kitchen.
After nearly an hour of questions, Ellie’s bottom lip began to quiver. ‘I’m sorry I don’t know,’ she whispered, as a fat tear slid down her cheek. ‘Am I in trouble?’
‘No, darling, of course not.’ She paused. ‘Would you like a hug?’
Ellie nodded and Lisa pulled the little girl into her lap. Resting her chin on Ellie’s head Lisa looked at Scott, who shook his head sadly. His skin was grey and there were shadows forming under his eyes. He mouthed a single word. ‘Police.’
With a large knot forming in her throat, Lisa squeezed Ellie even more tightly. ‘It’s going to be okay, honey.’
Gently, Lisa closed the bedroom door and followed Scott back downstairs to the kitchen.
‘You know we need to call the police. It’s the right thing to do. It’s our only choice.’ He drummed his fingers on the benchtop.
‘The letter specifically said we shouldn’t.’
‘So now we’re taking orders from a woman we don’t know?’
‘I’m just saying we should think about it.’ Lisa took Missy’s note from her pocket and unfolded it.
You and your family are not in danger. Please do not call the police. If you do, they will take her and put her into care, and I know you wouldn’t want that for her.
‘She’s right, you know. If we call the police and say we have an abandoned child, they’ll take her into emergency foster care.’ She re-read the last line, silently.
I know you wouldn’t want that for her.
‘How do you know that about me?’ said Lisa, under her breath.
‘Maybe foster care is where she belongs. It sounds like her mum’s in a bad place right now.’
Lisa gave him a look. ‘Even after everything I’ve told you about the group home that Jamie and I went into? Those kids were scarred for life by foster care.’
‘That was twenty years ago. Things have probably changed since then.’
‘For the worse, if anything. Remember that doco?’
It was appalling. The reporter had nearly been in tears, interviewing kids who’d been removed from abusive homes, only to be put into the hands of other abusers in foster care. Lisa had turned it off, halfway through. It was all too triggering.
‘But I’m sure not all carers are like that? There must be some good ones out there.’
Lisa nodded. ‘You’re right. I’m sure there are plenty of kind and loving foster homes out there, but there are also some that aren’t, and the thing is, we have no idea of which kind Ellie would be placed into. We could be putting her into the hands of an angel, or a monster. If this was Ava or Jemima, would you really be willing to take that risk?’
‘Maybe we are taking a risk, by accepting this child into our home. The mother says we’re not in danger, and usually when people tell you there’s no danger, it’s because there actually is!’
‘Ellie’s a child. A sweet child from what I can see. To be honest, I think the risk of something bad happening to her in foster care is far higher than anything happening to us if we take her in.’
‘What’s that about risk?’ Jamie had joined them in the kitchen. ‘Ellie’s out like a light in your bed,’ she explained. ‘Emotionally exhausted.’
‘I know the feeling.’ Scott ran a hand through his hair.
‘He thinks we should call the police and get Ellie into emergency foster care.’ Lisa folded her arms.
‘Haven’t you told him?’ said Jamie.
‘Of course I have!’
‘You can’t call the police.’ Jamie locked eyes with Scott. ‘Seriously. If you knew what went on in some of those homes …’ She shuddered.
‘So, what are we supposed to do?’ asked Scott, mildly.
‘We keep her,’ said Lisa simply. ‘Look after her, and keep trying to find her mum.’
Jamie nodded. ‘I’m happy to help.’
‘Isn’t that some form of kidnap? To keep a kid you don’t actually know? You’re not suggesting we hide her here.’
‘Well, her mother seems to know us.’ Lisa held up the letter. ‘We have this, and it proves that we haven’t taken Ellie against her will. It’s just like asking a friend or a relative to look after your child. If anyone asks, which I doubt they will, but if they do, that’s what we’ll tell them. She’s a friend’s child that we’re looking after while she’s away on work.’
‘What about Heather, and the other mums that you rang? They’ll know,’ said Scott. ‘What if they tell the authorities?’
‘They won’t,’ said Lisa, with more confidence than she actually felt. ‘They’re mums too. They’ll get it. They might even help me try and track down this Missy Jones.’
‘Really? Weren’t you the one saying before how unfriendly they all were?’ Scott raised his eyebrows.
‘This is different,’ said Lisa firmly. ‘This is a child’s welfare at stake. They’ll understand.’
‘And what about Ava and Jemima? How will they feel about having someone new in the house? They might get jealous.’
‘It’ll be good for them. They’ll love it. They’re always asking to have their friends for a sleepover.’
‘But this isn’t just one night, is it? What happens if she doesn’t come back? The mother, I mean?’ Scott folded his arms. ‘We can’t keep Ellie indefinitely.’
Jamie walked around the kitchen island, closer to Lisa. ‘How about we set a time limit? Say, six weeks from now—if we haven’t found Missy by then, we go to the police.’
‘Six weeks!’ Scott exclaimed. ‘That’s way too long.’
‘It’s a maximum, and I suspect we’ll find this woman well before then,’ said Jamie evenly. ‘But it gives us something to work towards.’
