by J. S. Lee
Apt.
“Stop it,” he told me, sternly.
“Stop what?” I asked, staring at him with eyes wide.
“Whatever bullshit that’s gone running around your head.” My eyes went from wide to narrowed in nanoseconds. There was no way he knew what I was thinking. “Tell me you’ve not just been plotting a way to end things,” he challenged.
Apparently, he did.
I sighed. “Fine, yes. I was thinking that. Because it’s the smart move.” It might be an unpopular opinion, but it was a smart one.
With an irritated grunt, Jiwon pulled me to him, kissing me with a passion that had me breathless and weak in the knees. He clung to me, his mouth moving against mine: slow; determined; hot. When he finally pulled back, I was holding onto his shirt like it was the handlebars on a rollercoaster ride. Hell, I felt like I’d just been on one. “I’ve told you before, unless your feelings have changed about me, about us, that decision is ours. We’re the ones living this life; whose lives are affected by it. Right now, it’s me. And I still choose you. I still choose both.”
I sighed. “You’re a fucking idiot,” I told him, softly. “You don’t know what’s going to be waiting for you when you land.”
“Neither do you,” Jiwon countered.
“No,” I agreed. “But I think there’s going to come a point where that choice isn’t going to be made by any of us.”
The plane lurched, sending my heart pounding for different reasons than Jiwon had, and my hand shot out to steady us. There were a few more bumps and then came the low bleeps as the fasten seatbelt signs came on. A steward appeared behind us, coughing softly. “Please can you return to your seats.”
I nodded, following Jiwon back to our seats as requested.
Beside me, Jiwon settled back into the seat, turning off our light. “Sleep,” he told me. He lifted up the chair arm between us and held his arm out for me.
I settled into him, waiting while he adjusted our blankets, and then closed my eyes. I was exhausted, but I couldn’t sleep. My brain was stressing. I knew he meant well, but there really was going to come a point where we had no say in this. If only we could tell what would be waiting for us.
Maybe it was my tired and confused brain, but I lay there for a while, listening to the rhythmic pattern of his breathing before it dawned on me that I could find out. I’d paid for that extortionate internet: I may as well use it.
Trying not to disturb Jiwon, I reached for my phone.
There was nothing breaking on the news sites – Korean or international. The only thing I could find was a few days old: the reports that the LGBTQ+ community was proud of Jiwon standing up to the homophobic comments, and the rumors that we had intentionally missed the Polish show as a protest.
As sleep finally overpowered me, I was left with the foreboding feeling that the shit was about to hit the fan.
제 22 장
Dramarama
Shit hitting the fan was an understatement, and I didn’t realize how bad it was until we got through baggage claim. I’d awoken to the pilot announcing we were beginning our descent into Incheon Airport and the Wi-Fi had been turned off.
I was having trouble getting the internet to load while I waited to get through passport control by myself. The others, all Korean, sailed through. I was in a different line but the others were waiting for me, just before baggage claim.
“Can’t we just go through?” I asked him. Had he forgotten all the bags were coming in on the flight with the others?
Sungmin shook his head. “Atlantis called. There are reporters waiting on the other side of those doors.” He pointed to the sliding door which led through to the arrivals lounge.
“How did they know what flight we were on?” MinMin asked with a frown, yawning.
“News broke about an hour ago,” Sungmin said, quietly.
Ina looked at him with a frown. “What news?”
“Shit,” Jiwon muttered, rubbing at the back of his neck.
“How bad is it?” MinMin asked.
“What news?” Ina pressed.
“Pictures were released of Jiwon entering Kate’s room in Amsterdam.”
I puffed out my cheeks, wrapping my arms around myself.
MinMin stepped closer to me, resting his hand on the small of my back. “Just Jiwon?”
Sungmin nodded. “You’re stepping into a dating scandal,” he said, but he was looking at me and Jiwon. “Welcome to K-Pop.”
“How bad is it going to be?” I asked, quietly.
“Put it this way, the reporters descended on the airport when they heard our flight was due in an hour ago and they haven’t left.”
I sucked in a deep breath and straightened my back. “OK, what do you need me to do?”
“Wait,” Ina interjected, holding up her hand. “Kate and Jiwon?”
“You didn’t know?” I asked, surprised. I was sure that Sungmin would have said something. Then again, how did one begin to explain our relationship?
“You’re American,” she said, as though my nationality explained everything. When I arched an eyebrow at her, she gave me an unapologetic shrug. “You’re very hands on with all of the group. It’s what Americans do. But I wouldn’t have picked Jiwon. JongB, maybe.”
Wonderful.
Seeing as I had no comment to that, I turned back to Sungmin. “What do you need me to do? I can head straight to the departure lounge if-”
“Like fuck you will,” Jiwon snapped, making Ina wince. He gave her a respectful bob of his head by way of apology, then returned to glowering at me. “I’ve told you, you’re sticking with us. We’re not done yet.”
“Holly wants you to go to Atlantis. We can discuss it there so we can make a united front. Right now, we need to wait for the car to collect us. When I know it’s outside, we’re all going straight out, into the car. No matter how much the reporters infringe on your personal space, you will not attack them, nor will you say anything to them. Not even ‘no comment’. Understood?”
I nodded, not quite understanding what I was about to experience.
Sungmin reached into his carry-on bag and pulled out a handful of masks. “Hoods or hats on. Masks on. Sunglasses on.”
While Sungmin called the driver, I put on my mask. Or I tried to: my hands were shaking too much to fasten the elastic around my ears. It was actually Ina who stepped forward to help me, gently taking the mask from me and putting it on my face for me, while MinMin and Jiwon put theirs on. “You’re going to need to help me out,” she said, gently.
Realizing she was talking about the fact I was nearly a foot taller than her, I spread my legs like I had seen all the members of Onyx do whenever Ina or Eunhae needed to reach their faces, reducing my height so she could also tuck my hair back and pull my hood up.
“Thank you,” I said, my voice as shaky as my hands.
“The car is here. Remember: no pushing, shoving, or talking. This is just a dating scandal right now, so let’s not make it bigger than it is.” He glanced at MinMin and Jiwon. “And please, if you know what’s best, do not grab Kate’s hand.”
I sucked in another deep breath and then followed Sungmin towards the door. The moment we stepped through the door we were descended on like nothing I had ever seen before. We were surrounded the whole of the short trip through the airport to the collection point outside where a blacked-out minivan was waiting for us.
Camera flashes went off every step of the way as so many mics were pushed in front of our faces. The whole thing was terrifying. And honestly, for a dating rumor, because at this point nothing had been confirmed, seemed completely over the top.
I hadn’t understood what Sungmin had meant about not shoving people until someone managed to get between me and the group, cutting me off. Startled and panicked, I stood there as they repeated the same questions at me. Is it true you’re dating Jiwon? Is it true your pregnant (what the fuck??!!)? When did you and Jiwon get together? How long have you been dating? Is it true he offere
d you money?
The last one nearly had me responding with a very American two-word answer, but at the last moment, like a knight appearing in front of me to protect me from the dragons, Jiwon appeared. Completely ignoring Sungmin’s instruction, he grabbed my hand, yelled “MOVE!” and pulled me past the reporters. I stumbled in an attempt to not shove them, swirling out of the way, but Jiwon tugged me forward.
Outside, Sungmin was waiting at the minivan door. He moved out of the way to let us on, and then shut the door behind us. He climbed into the front seat and turned to the driver. “Go,” he barked.
Ina and MinMin were in the back section, while Jiwon and I were sat in the middle. As the minivan pulled away, I reached for the seatbelt, trying to get it to clip in, but my hands were still shaking. “Are you OK?” Jiwon asked, taking it off me and clipping me in.
“They asked me if you offered me money,” I said, slowly, still trying to process that one. “Do they think I’m a prostitute?”
“Actually, yes,” Sungmin replied, making my mouth drop open. “One of the articles said you had been spotted outside of a Love Motel in Osaka.”
“With Xiao!” I exclaimed, before quickly clamping my hand over my mouth at Sungmin’s expression.
“Are you-?”
Before Sungmin could finish that sentence, there was a bang and the minivan lurched. Both myself and Ina screamed. If it wasn’t for the seatbelt, I would have hit the seat in front.
“What the fuck?” Jiwon bellowed. “Did they ram us?”
“Just calm down. The press are trying to get us to pull over.”
“Over a dating scandal?” I asked, appalled and horrified. There had to be more to the story than I was aware of, surely?
In the front of the van, Sungmin was telling the driver to get us out of there. Out on the highway, the driver put his foot down, weaving between the traffic. I grabbed onto the ‘Oh shit!’ handle and held on, praying to any deity that would listen to get us out of this.
The minivan continued to barrel down the highway, erratically changing lanes, but as I kept my eyes on the road in front of me, I realized that the driver knew what he was doing. The lane changes seemed unpredictable, but they were controlled, making precise decisions in an attempt to use the traffic as a buffer to lose those that were following him.
That was how I knew the accident was just that – an accident.
The driver was moving over, avoiding a reporter on a motorbike, so he didn’t see the car merging until the last moment. By then it was too late. He slammed on the brakes as the car hit us. The next thing I knew, I was upside down, then the right way up, then upside down.
The minivan came to an abrupt halt as it slammed into the central reservation. I was upside down, held in place by my seatbelt, but I was so stunned, I couldn’t do anything but stare at the seat back in front of me.
“Kate?”
I recognized the voice as Jiwon and turned to him. He was upside down too, his faded orange hair with the long roots looking like a mohawk. “Are you OK?” I asked.
He nodded, then pressed the release button on his seatbelt. He dropped down, landing heavily on the broken glass that lined the roof. Ignoring the fact there were pieces of glass in his arms, he scooted over to me, putting his body between me and the roof, then he reached up and released me.
I fell heavily into his arms, wincing at the pain. Still holding onto me, he scooted back across the floor to the door. When the door didn’t open, he turned, using his foot to kick the window out.
“Jiwon, wait,” I croaked, pulling myself out of his grasp so I could crawl into the back. MinMin was hanging from the ceiling, still secure in his seatbelt. Moments later, Jiwon was at my side. “Jiwon, I don’t think he’s breathing!” I shrieked as a bubble of panic took over me.
Jiwon reached up, pressing two fingers against MinMin’s throat to check for a pulse. “His heart is still beating,” he confirmed. “MinMin? Minhyuk?” He gently shook him.
MinMin opened his eyes, coughing and spluttering before his own panic set in and he tried to free himself of his constraints.
“Calm down,” Jiwon barked at him. “I need you to stay still so we can get you out of there.”
“What happened?” he asked, still coughing.
“Aliens,” Jiwon told him.
“Can we leave the shit jokes to JongB, please?” MinMin requested.
“Deal.” Jiwon reached up, bracing MinMin, then turned to me. “Unbuckle him.”
I reached up, clicking the button. MinMin fell forward onto Jiwon, but let out a bloodcurdling scream. I jumped, skittering backwards, feeling glass slice through my palm and let out my own yelp of pain.
“What’s happening?” Jiwon yelled in alarm.
“My leg!” MinMin howled. I saw him reach for something sticking into his thigh.
“NO!” I yelled.
At the last moment, MinMin froze, his hand hovering.
“You will do more damage if you pull it out. Let the doctors do it!” Damage… I had visions of blood pumping out everywhere!
“Let’s just get out of this car,” Jiwon said, calmly – calmer than I was. “MinMin, just lie still.” With the younger member lying across his torso, he dragged them both over to the window, pulling them out.
I followed, my wounded hand held close to my chest. I could feel glass in it, but I didn’t dare look. It wasn’t that I didn’t like blood, but seeing anything stuck out of my flesh would probably make me faint and that was the last thing I needed to do.
I gritted my teeth against the pain and climbed out of the vehicle.
Jiwon was to one side, seeing to MinMin’s injury. I wasn’t even sure what the piece of metal had been, but it was about the size of Jiwon’s fist.
I leaned back against the side of the minivan, sucking in some deep breaths. The world was spinning slightly and I wasn’t sure if that was because of blood loss, getting up too quickly, or if I had hit my head and not realized it.
I scanned the roads, surprised at the lack of cars – or rather, the lack of people helping… there were two other wrecked cars between us and them. I could hear sirens in the distance, not too far away.
“Help me…”
The words were weak.
The voice was familiar.
Fuck! There had been other people in the car!
I staggered to the front, only to be greeted by the dead face of the driver, staring at nothing.
My body seized up. I’d never seen a dead person before. His body was crushed behind the steering wheel, blood slowly dripping into a pool beneath him.
“Kate! Kate!”
Sungmin’s voice brought me back to him. “Sungmin? Are you OK?” It was a stupid question. One side of his face was covered in blood… it looked like someone had pulverized a steak and laid it on his cheek.
“I think my leg is broken,” he stated.
“Can you get out?” I asked, trying my hardest not to look at the driver. When Sungmin shook his head, I sucked in a deep breath. “I’m going to get help.”
“How is everyone else?”
“MinMin has hurt his leg, but he and Jiwon are out.”
“Ina?”
My blood ran cold.
Ina had been in the vehicle with us.
She hadn’t been in the back with MinMin…
“Find Ina,” Sungmin instructed me.
I nodded. I moved down the minivan, looking in the windows, trying to see if she had been missed, but the woman wasn’t in the vehicle.
Then I saw the body.
It was half-way between the minivan and the other cars that had crashed, rolled up against the concrete barriers that separated the two sides of the highway. Half-running, half-stumbling, I moved towards it, praying she was still alive.
I dropped down in front of her. There was so much blood that I was almost distracted by that. Almost.
She was breathing.
Just.
Her arm was hanging at an awkward angle.
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Her leg was missing more skin than Sungmin’s face.
And there was a wound just above her heart which was letting out a steady stream of blood. I clamped my good hand down on it, then, turning to the other cars, started for screaming for help.
Finally, Jiwon was at my side. He crouched down beside her, taking a pulse. “Kate, she’s dead,” he said, softly.
I shook my head. “I can feel her heartbeat.”
“Katie,” he said softly. “She’s… she’s dead.”
I fell backwards, landing heavily on my butt. My gaze fell to my hands, both covered in blood. Some mine, some Ina’s, both becoming progressively blurry.
“Come on,” Jiwon muttered, gently. He pulled me to my feet and led me back over to MinMin, sitting me down beside him, just as several ambulances and fire trucks appeared from the wrong way down the highway.
제 23 장
Nothing Better
“Kate!” I knew it was Holly’s voice yelling in the hospital corridor, blatantly disregarding hospital decorum. That amused me slightly because Holly was a stickler for the rules and under normal circumstances would never have been caught shouting in a hospital.
“Kate!”
That voice did make me open my eyes: it was JongB.
On impulse I went to stand, then remembered I was hooked up to a drip which was feeding me drugs and stopped. Instead, I waited for Holly, Youngbin, JongB, Xiao, and CX to join my bedside.
“Kate, are you OK?” Youngbin demanded.
“Have you heard anything about the others?” Xiao asked.
“You look like you survived the Red Wedding,” CX muttered quietly.
“Is that a Game of Thrones reference?” I asked, croakily.
“That’s the answer you choose to give first?” Holly spluttered.
I sucked in a deep breath and closed my eyes. I felt like shit, so I was sure I looked like it too. I had no idea what a Red Wedding was, but if it involved a lot of blood, it was also probably accurate. “Why is there blood at a wedding?” I asked, keeping my eyes closed.
