by Stacy Finz
At lunchtime he started to make a sandwich, decided he wasn’t hungry, and returned the sliced beef, cheese, and mayo to the refrigerator.
About one, he realized this wasn’t going to work. If he stayed home, walking the floor, he’d go stark, raving mad. He swiped his keys off the hall tree and jumped in his Range Rover.
The next thing he knew he was on Interstate 5, following the signs to Los Angeles.
Chapter 22
“Tell ChefAid I’m not interested.” Gina sat at her desk, turning down the third counteroffer since Tuesday from the company that had been so willing to ditch her when the chips were down. The CEO at ChefAid kept sweetening the pot and Gina kept saying “No.”
“This one seems too good to pass up,” Linda said.
After the Times piece hit newsstands, her manager had been juggling offers faster than a circus clown. The story, “A Hollywood Horror Tale for the Ages,” gave a blow-by-blow of how Candace had attempted to torpedo Gina’s empire to enhance her own career. There was nothing like a phoenix rising from the ashes to excite exploitive corporate executives. They all wanted to hitch their wagons to Gina’s renewed stardom.
“Don’t care how good it is. Tell them to go fu—Just tell them to go away, that we’re not interested.”
“What is Robin doing about FoodFlicks?”
“We’re still working on it. If I sign for another season it won’t be for Now That’s Italian! I want a fresh start, something different.”
The sad truth was ever since she’d returned to LA, she’d been miserable. She tried to tell herself that it was a simple case of ennui, that she needed to shake things up. But how could someone suffer from boredom when they’d been doing nothing substantive for the last six weeks? Unless, of course, she counted cooking. She’d done a lot of that.
She closed her eyes for a second and tried to summon the zen of working in Sawyer’s kitchen. But all she saw was Sawyer. There he was, all six-two feet of him with his thumbs hitched in the pockets of his Levi’s, a smile playing on his lips, looking like he could handle the world.
Her heart folded in half.
She missed him so much it hurt. The only other time she’d ever felt this alone was when her father died.
Her mother’s death had brought great regret. Gina wished she could’ve been the daughter Sadie had wanted. She had grieved her mother’s passing and even now, missed her. But the loss of Sadie hadn’t left a gaping hole in her the size of the Grand Canyon.
Not like it had with Sawyer.
“Gina…Gina.” Linda’s voice snapped Gina back to business. “What do you want to do about the dog food offer?”
“I don’t even have a dog. It’s ridiculous.” She swiped her hand in the air and waved away the offer.
“I suppose you want me to tell Supplycrafters that we’re not interested too.”
“Not yet.”
Linda lifted her hands, palms up, perplexed. “You’re turning down ChefAid but considering Supplycrafters They don’t even manufacture food equipment for the home cook. It’s all industrial…for restaurants.”
“They didn’t treat me like a leper. Besides, I have friends in Dry Creek who could use new fryers for their coffee shop. Maybe we could wangle a deal.”
“I’m sure if you signed on the dotted line you could get your friends a professional-grade oven and a dishwasher too. Even a walk-in refrigerator.” Linda laughed. “You’d be better off buying them as gifts. Otherwise, you’re tying yourself to a company that’s off-brand. We should entertain the GE offer if you want to continue the home-appliance route.”
“That’s the thing, I want a change.” The problem was she had no idea what that change looked like. It just didn’t resemble anything in her past or current portfolio.
“Then we should take one of the single-serve coffee deals. I vote for the one George Clooney does…Nespresso.” Linda waggled her brows and Gina laughed.
“Put that one on the to-be-considered pile along with Supplycrafters I want to examine all my options before I make any decisions.”
“Why don’t I send Darby out for lunch and we can eat while we start sorting through the pile and eliminating the ones you definitely don’t want.”
“Like RollAuto?” Gina shook her head, befuddled. What in the world did car parts have to do with food?
“Don’t worry, I crossed that off the list.” Linda made her way to the credenza and pulled out a stack of takeout menus. “What are you hungry for?”
“I’m not.”
“You need to eat, Gina. You didn’t touch breakfast and Darby got your favorite muffins from La Farine.”
“I put on a few pounds while I was on the lam.” Homemade ice cream, berry pie, strawberry shortcake, and all the other goodies she’d made while at the ranch. “I’m trying to lose them before we start taping a pilot for the new show.”
“Why? The weight looked good on you.” The subtext of that was Gina didn’t look so good now. In the last two weeks she’d shed a few pounds.
She tried to tell herself that she was too busy picking up the pieces to eat. But honestly, she simply didn’t have an appetite. For the first time in her adult life, she was questioning her choices. Questioning whether this was where she wanted to be. All her life she’d clawed and climbed to be famous, successful, rich.
But what had it gotten her?
A beautiful home in Malibu where the rooms were empty. A cooking show that ironically didn’t allow her to cook. A business empire that prospered or failed at the whim of her popularity. And legions of fans who would turn on her in an instant.
No family or friends who were loyal to the bitter end. No one she could cry to when the day went wrong. No one to celebrate when the day went right.
No one who loved her.
Here, she was truly alone.
Until now, she’d never noticed the absence of relationships in her life. Never missed not having someone to come home to. She’d been too busy trying to take the world by storm. But since leaving Dry Creek Ranch…leaving Sawyer…the emptiness had made her feel hollower than the show business she pretended to love.
“You know what, Linda, I think I’ll go out to lunch.” She pressed the intercom on her desk and asked Darby to come to her office.
A few minutes later, Darby popped her head through the doorway. “What can I do for you?”
“Could you book me a charter flight? I’d like to leave as soon as possible.”
“I’ll get right on it.”
The look of shock on Linda’s face was priceless. “What about all these offers?” She bobbed her head at the clutter of contracts and paperwork strewn across the conference table. “I thought—weren’t we planning to sort through them? And where are you going?”
“I suddenly have a yen for chicken and waffles.”
She slung her purse over her shoulder and left the building. Four hours later she was preparing for takeoff.
* * * *
Sawyer pulled into the parking lot of a law office along PCH near Malibu. Gina lived somewhere around here but he didn’t have the address. And in general, celebrities were unlisted. He had no reason to believe Gina would be any different.
He searched for the location of her office building and studio on his phone, figuring he’d have better luck finding one of those. But it was late, past nine, and he doubted she’d still be there.
He’d driven straight through from Dry Creek Ranch, stopping only once at a rest area to take a leak. Even with a traffic backup in the valley, he’d made excellent time.
Contemplating the wisdom of calling his mother for the address, he decided it would be better to phone Gina herself. Give her a heads-up because who knew what kind of security she had?
Plus, just showing up without any notice might not be the best strategy.
He took a deep breath and p
unched in her number, girding himself. There was a good chance she’d tell him to go home. If she did, he’d have to go to plan B, because he wasn’t leaving until she heard him out.
“Where are you?” she answered, surprising him.
“In a parking lot on Pacific Coast Highway, not far from your house. I think. What’s the address and I’ll come over.”
There was a long pause. She was going to tell him not to come. He’d insist that they at least meet at a restaurant. What he had to say wouldn’t take long.
“The problem is I’m not there,” she finally said. “I’m here.”
“Where’s here?”
“Your barn loft apartment. I’ve been waiting for you for hours.”
He scrubbed his hand down his face, surprised.
“Okay, I’ll turn around and come home.” He’d fly if it wasn’t for the fact that he had his Range Rover.
It took a few minutes, but it dawned on him to ask why. Why was she in Dry Creek?
But before he could ask she said, “Charlie said you were here this morning. Your car’s gone. Did you just get to LA?”
“About an hour ago, if you count the valley. How about you?”
“I flew in this afternoon.”
“Why?”
“The same thing could be asked of you…Unless you were visiting your parents.”
“No, they were just in Dry Creek.”
“Charlie told me they left this morning. She told me about Angela too. Oh, Sawyer, you found her.”
“Not quite. But we know she’s alive. It’s a long story. I’ll tell you everything when I get there. Is that why you came? Because of Angie?”
“No, I only found out about her after I got here. But it’s incredible, Sawyer. You must be so relieved.”
“I am. More on that later. But I need to talk to you. Really talk. So why’d you make the trip?” As far as he knew, she’d taken everything she owned with her when she’d left, including his goddamn heart.
“Same reason—I need to talk to you too. In person. But don’t come home tonight. It’s too much driving. I’ll worry that you’ll fall asleep at the wheel. Wanna stay at my place? I can give you the door code to get in.”
“Sure.” He didn’t bother to write anything down when she rattled off the numbers.
“Sawyer?”
“Hmm?”
“Uh…I’ll tell you when you get here.”
He grabbed something to eat at an all-night diner, tanked up on coffee, and was home just before dawn the next day.
Gina’s Louis Vuitton luggage was scattered across his entryway. This time, he managed not to trip over anything and a smile bloomed in his chest. His little pain in the ass was back. What he wouldn’t do to make it permanent?
She was still fast asleep, her hair fanned across his pillow while the early-morning light made a soft halo around her face. It took all his willpower not to brush a kiss across her lips. But he didn’t want to wake her.
He quietly went to the kitchen, where he made a pot of coffee. While he poured himself a mug, she came out of the bedroom.
“You’re here.” She blinked up at him, trying to clear the sleep from her eyes. “I thought you were going to stay overnight in LA…come back today.”
“Change of plan.”
They both stood there awkwardly when he decided to take the bull by the horns.
“This isn’t going to work for me.”
She looked down at herself. “Me staying here and sleeping in your bed?”
“No, you not sleeping in my bed.”
He ate up the distance between them with two long strides, took her arm, led her to the living room sofa, and without any fanfare laid it out for her. “I’m in love with you.” He waited a beat for that to sink in and continued, “If you’re not in love me, then we don’t have much to talk about. But if you feel even half of what I feel we need to figure out how to make this work. LA’s where your company is…where you make your television show. I get that. So I’ll split my time between here and there.”
She stared at him with her mouth agape, saying nothing.
“Gina?”
“I thought you were trying to fight this thing you and I have for each other.” She waved her hand between them. “I think your exact words were, ‘I’m falling for you and I don’t like it.’”
He scrubbed his hand over his unshaven face. God, had he actually said that? For a professional wordsmith he had no game. “At the time I said it I was scared shitless. Now, I’m scared shitless of losing you.” He took in a deep breath. “These last two weeks have been hell, Gina. I’m so crazy in love with you that I can’t sleep. Can’t eat. Can’t work. Can’t think of anything but you.”
She leaned into him and stared into his eyes. “I came to tell you the same thing.”
“Yeah?” His heart did a two-step. He got up, lifted her, and sat down with her in his lap. “So you and I…we’re a thing now, right?”
“I think we’ve been a thing for a while and we didn’t want to admit it to ourselves. We’re kind of stupid that way.”
He chuckled. “You know us cowpokes. We’re dumber than dirt.”
“Nope. Smartest man I ever met.” She laid her head on his chest and burrowed in.
“Look, I know it’ll be difficult having me live here and you in LA. Maybe once we get this ranch project up to speed I can move to Los Angeles. In the meantime, I’ll come as much as possible.”
“You’ll hate that.” She traced his lips with her finger. “The ranch is where you belong.”
“Not if it means being without you.” He’d go to the ends of the earth if it meant being with her.
“Uh-uh.” She shook her head. “That won’t work for me.”
His mouth grazed her ear. “You have a better suggestion?”
“I do. I came to walk it through with you.”
“Start walking.”
“I move here. Live with you in this excellent loft apartment, where I have unlimited access to your kitchen.”
He did a double take. It was the last solution he expected. “What about your show? Your business?”
“I’ve spent a lot of nights thinking about just that. My future. Because you…this ranch…have changed me in ways I never thought possible. The last couple of weeks without you have been miserable. I want a whole new direction, Sawyer. I want to cook again. I want to have friends…family. I want my time in Dry Creek to be my forever.”
She took a deep breath and pushed forward. “I can run everything from here, including the frozen food and kitchenware divisions. Our processing plants are in the Central Valley, so I’m actually closer here. The housewares are made overseas and are distributed out of New York, Chicago, and Los Angeles. I have good people for that and am only a plane ride away if they need me. These days, with a computer and high-speed internet, you can run a business from anywhere.”
While it sounded doable, he was surprised. How long until she missed the bright lights of LA and all the bennies that came with it? “What about your show?”
There was a long pause, then, “I’m not sure I want to do it anymore.”
He lifted her chin with his finger. “Why? I got the impression the show was important to you…that being on television propelled everything else.” And being a television celebrity was wrapped up in her self-worth, which Sawyer didn’t think was altogether healthy.
“It certainly made the brand. But that’s not why I did it. My whole life I felt like I had something to prove, something to show Sadie DeRose that she hadn’t made a mistake by adopting me. She’d wanted to be a movie star, so I followed in her footsteps, doing the closest thing I knew how. I may not have been a leading lady on the silver screen, but television launched me into homes across the nation. Soon, I was a household name and face. I was famous. I was what my mother
had always wanted her—and then me—to be.”
“And now?”
“I don’t need it to define me anymore. I guess it took me thirty-seven years to figure out that I was so busy trying to prove myself to my mother that I forgot to live for myself and do the things that truly make me happy.”
He liked what he was hearing. Not because it benefited him, but because Gina had grown. So had he. Sawyer supposed love did that to a person.
“So what makes you happy, Gina DeRose? Besides me, of course.” His mouth split into a smile.
“Having a man who loves me, even when I’ve been falsely accused, on the brink of a professional meltdown, and stripped of everything.”
Sawyer waggled his eyebrows. “Especially when you’ve been stripped of everything.”
She laughed. “You’ve got a one-track mind, Dalton.”
“Yep.” His hands inched up her camisole and she slapped it away.
“I was just about to get to the best part.”
He kissed her belly and tilted his head up to look at her. “This isn’t the best part?”
“I want to do the restaurant.”
Taken aback, Sawyer stopped kissing her. Gina was full of surprises today. “Here?”
“At Dry Creek Ranch.” A smile spread across her face, transforming her from gorgeous to radiant. “A steak house that would feature the ranch’s beef. It could be the anchor. We could also do the country store. Chock-full of my products, of course. And the butcher shop, a Dalton beef exclusive retailer. Or we could go nationwide—your choice.”
Damn, he liked the sound of that. All of it. But it had to be real.
“You seriously want to do this…a restaurant? What made you change your mind? Because, Gina, I don’t want you to do anything you don’t really want to do. We’ll find our anchor. You do what makes you happy, not what you think will make me happy.”
“You make me happy.” She reached up, pulled his head down, and covered his mouth with hers. When they finished kissing, she said, “Cooking makes me happy. Feeding people makes me happy. And someone once told me I had to stop being so critical of myself. That I had to start believing in myself. I’d say opening a destination restaurant is a good step in that direction, don’t you?” She took a deep breath. “I won’t lie. I’m scared to death. Scared I’ll fail…become a laughingstock. But I’ll never know if I don’t try, will I?”