by Bea Green
Elinor swallowed the lump in her throat.
‘What can I say, but thank you? Thank you so much. You’ve made things so much easier for me. It would’ve broken my heart to leave Trenouth for good.’
Leo looked pleased with himself. He crossed his legs and folded his arms, beaming back at Elinor.
‘There’s only one small problem left,’ he said.
‘Oh? And what’s that?’
‘You’re going to need to get yourself a car to run around in.’
Later that day as the sun was setting, Elinor jumped over their Cornish hedge and made her way along the coast path until she reached the path bypassing Fox Cove. She climbed over the rough wooden stile and breathed in the heady scent of the gorse flowers. Walking along the dusty path, she listened to the waves gently murmuring far, far beneath her.
The tide was in.
The ocean was looking docile and welcoming today. Only the dark streaks of the ocean’s currents, out of land’s reach, hinted at its more dangerous intentions.
Elinor sat down on the bench, enjoying the peacefulness of the scene before her. It was half past eight so most people were probably away preparing, or having, their dinner. The sky was turning a vibrant orange just above the horizon, with bright pink clouds arching around the dying sun in homage to its beauty and power.
She must have been sitting there for around twenty minutes when someone suddenly cupped her face with their hand and kissed the side of her cheek. She turned around smiling happily, knowing intuitively who it was.
Tony settled himself down on the bench next to her and stretched an arm behind her. Starting to feel a little chilly now the sun was sinking further she huddled into him, shielding herself from the gentle breeze that was lightly puffing from the west.
‘How’s your day been?’ he asked.
‘Good. I’ve had an eventful week but things are calming down nicely.’
Tony nodded, staring out to the far horizon.
‘Have you given any more thought to moving in with me?’ he asked casually, still gazing fixedly into the distance.
Elinor could tell he was making himself very vulnerable asking her for a second time. She wrapped her arms around him, trying to reassure him.
‘Yes. Let’s do it, Tony. To be honest with you, the thought of leaving all of this was killing me,’ she said, nodding at the view. ‘Leo, and Trenouth too, they mean so much to me. I’m not sure I can really explain why. It could be the security and stability, or maybe I’m simply hooked to the ocean. But Leo told me today that he’s decided to convert the garage into a studio for me, so I can paint there. Which means I can be with both you and Trenouth.’
Tony dipped his head and kissed her softly on the lips. She could feel his happiness vibrating through him. She put her hands up to his face, brushing away his thick, fair hair and studying his kind brown eyes as they looked down at her. She smiled at him tenderly as he pulled her even closer to him. Then they turned to face the ocean and watched the molten sun melt into the water as it disappeared quickly over the horizon.
She knew she’d never really be free of her anxiety but for the first time in a very long time she looked forward to the future with hope in her heart. She already had two commissions to work on, she had a solid relationship with Tony and Trenouth was now a permanent fixture in her life. It was a far cry from the days when she used to lie curled up on her bedroom floor in Glasgow, the tears dripping down her face and onto the floor as she wished she could join Mark in the afterlife.
As she and Tony walked back along the cliff edge, breathing in the elixir of oxygenated air with its salty tang, she silently sent a prayer heavenwards, asking that the bubble of happiness that surrounded her now would last for years into the future. She’d suffered for long enough and now was the moment for the sea to erode and smooth the scars left in her soul from the past.
62
The wind blowing offshore combined with the groundswell had created near-perfect conditions for surfing.
These waves were six-foot grinders, powerful breaking waves that were hammering down onto the restless surface of the sea. Rolling in from the left hand side were beautiful barrel waves with their foaming lips curling over delicately.
As she lay on her front, two of the guys started gesturing manically and calling out to her in their surfer dialect.
‘Akaw! Akaw!’
Elinor turned to look behind her and raised her thumb to them.
A huge, perfectly shaped wave was making its way rapidly towards her. She started to paddle fast with her arms, moving with precise, almost mechanical actions, trying to keep up with the wave’s momentum.
As though it was a living creature she suddenly felt the wave nudge her surfboard upwards. Once she felt it take hold of her, she lifted herself quickly up onto the waxed surface of the surfboard, only to find herself sliding down rapidly on the vast glassy face of the wave.
Instinctively she let her surfboard slide horizontally to the right, desperately trying to build speed so as to outrun the white tail of spray forming on her left hand side.
There was no fear involved any more. She’d let go of that a long time ago.
Time suddenly slowed as she stood on the surfboard, with every sense on alert and her instinct guiding her every move. She was living in the moment and for a short time she felt free, soaring and hovering on the harnessed power of the ocean.
Almost in a hypnotic state, she savoured the taste of salt in her mouth as the spray stung the skin of her face. She could hear the deep boom of the rollers crashing down ahead of her onto the shallow shelf of sand. The wind was howling loudly in her ears, taunting her with defeat.
She sped downwards across the long length of the wave, feeling the power of it fading as it came closer to shore. Bit by bit she urged her surfboard on, trying to keep its speed flowing. Finally when the wave was spent, she skated briefly across the flat surface at the very edge of the ocean, before letting herself fall gracefully into the foamy embrace of the broken water.
In that brief moment when she had been flying high on the wave her habitual anxiety had disappeared, almost as though the ocean itself had decided to take the burden of her anxiety off her. It was those brief moments of mental freedom that made her present life bearable.
The ocean had saved her. Literally.
Acknowledgements
I feel enormous gratitude for Cathy Tingle, my literary guardian angel, who has watched over my writing like a hawk.
Thanks are also due to Stephen, my wonderful husband and biggest fan, for his faithful encouragement even though he has no interest in reading novels.
My appreciation also goes to Charlotte Mouncey for her patience, wonderful cover work and all the hard graft in putting the book together.
Finally, thanks to James Essinger for his insightful, caustic and often humorous commentary, and his willingness to take on my books.
