I walked on unstable, unlevel ground. The feeling of damp grass soaked through my shoes. I could smell the trees and the cool fresh air. I heard someone grappling with a lock, and Brody took me by the elbow and guided me down several steps. I heard metal scrape on metal, and my arm brushed against a wall as we moved forward. Wherever we were, it had a tinny smell. Like the inside of a soup can.
When we stopped, Brody began removing the blindfold. He pulled it away, and I got my first look at the room they led me to, the solid door we had come through, and the cramped, dark kitchenette we currently stood in.
“Welcome home!” Dan called out, not to anyone in particular. No one laughed, and Dan seemed nervous, like he was trying to break the tension. He went to the fridge and grabbed some water bottles for everyone, including one for me. It was clear he was struggling to see me as a prisoner, and I knew I had to take advantage of that.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
Dan’s mouth dropped open, and he sputtered a “You’re welcome,” as any polite young man would. Aaron glared at him angrily.
Brody began removing the cuffs from my raw, oozing wrists. I glanced at Aaron to gauge his reaction, but he just rolled his eyes and breathed a heavy sigh before disappearing through an even thicker door on the other side of the room. He was not happy with how “human” his companions were treating me. Dan followed Aaron through the door, leaving me alone with Brody. And while Brody was a lot smarter than Dan, he was also kinder than Aaron, but I couldn’t let that cloud my judgment.
The walls were made of large cement blocks, and everything was gray. I rubbed my raw, blistered wrists. My skin had that kind of reaction to silver. I winced and turned them over, inspecting the damage. Then I glanced around the room once more, my eyes settling on a map on the wall. It appeared to be a map of a national forest. There were no cities on it. “What is this place?” I chanced a whisper to Brody, not wanting Aaron or even Dan to hear my question.
Brody studied me for a moment as though weighing the risks of giving me an answer. “It’s our little fallout shelter, for when we need to get off the grid. Aaron’s dad built it, and no, he wasn’t a doomsday freak. He knew what was going on.” He set the cuffs on the table, offering no more details. “There’s a place for you to shower and clean up.” He pointed towards a curtained room, which I thought could have been a pantry.
My face flushed red with the thought of my possible aroma, something I shouldn’t have cared about, but I couldn’t help myself. Brody led me to the curtain off the kitchen. Behind it was a room sparsely embellished with a stainless-steel toilet and a shower stall. There was a small sink and a tiny mirror above the sink. Brody disappeared for a moment and came back with a travel bottle of shampoo, toothpaste, toothbrush, a comb, and a razor. Under the toiletries were neatly folded towels and a pair of scrubs. “Sorry, this is all we can give you right now.”
I took the items, and as Brody turned to leave, I whispered, “Thank you, Brody.”
He turned and opened his mouth, then paused. His face went blank again. “I’ll be right outside.” Brody pulled the curtain shut, and I was left alone. I looked around the room. There were no windows and nowhere to go, so I began to undress. Goosebumps appeared on my arms. It was chilly in the underground bunker.
It took a few minutes for the water to warm, but I didn’t mind the wait. I stood and let the steaming water pelt my face and sink slowly through my pores. I took my time soaping up, not knowing when I might get another chance like this. As I washed, I replayed the events that brought me here. It all happened so quickly, and I tried to imagine if I had done something different, anything different, if there could have been a better outcome.
I thought of the Agency and how they would view my actions. If they thought I was colluding with my captors, my dad and sisters were at risk. They were always being watched. The Agency kept close tabs on them at all times because they knew what motivated me, my family. So, they also knew if I were to ever get out, that would be my first stop. My gut told me that my family would be safe for now, but I wondered if the Agency knew about these boys. Who were they working for? What exactly did they want?
These boys had intel and had carefully planned their firework show at the cabin with the thought of taking out some members of the Agency. It was an extremely clever move which made me think they weren’t operating alone. My guess was it had something to do with Aaron’s dad.
Then my thoughts, like rocks skipping across a lake, landed on Brody. I couldn’t shake my suspicions about how kind he was when he didn’t have any reason to be. It’s not that I didn’t believe there were nice people in the world. The problem was I wasn’t used to being treated that way by anyone, especially after they knew what I was. People were uncomfortable around different. It’s always been that way, historically speaking. It had to be part of the plan. Aaron was meant to scare me while Brody was meant to gain my trust to get information. It had to be. And I couldn’t fall for it.
Because I didn’t want to leave the warmth of the shower, I closed my eyes and imagined what Brody would be like outside of the craziness we were in, as a normal teenager. There was no harm in imagining it, I told myself. I thought of where he would have fit in at my high school, before I was pulled from my normal life. He was probably just as nice to everyone he met and treated everyone with respect, which meant everyone would love him. Undoubtedly, he would have been the most popular guy in high school. He was kind and extremely attractive in that underwear model-esque kind of way. My face flushed. I had no idea if his body was model-esque, but he was strong and cute. He was smart and loyal to his friends. My heartbeat sped up. I was being stupid. I needed to be serious.
But then, as I scrubbed my arms, remembering how Brody had held me both in the trunk and in the back of the van, I shook my head, trying to shake loose the stupid thoughts. I was glad no one could read my mind. I was being a silly teenager, and I needed to stop. I was their prisoner. They were going to use me to find out the plan and for whatever else they had in mind which I still didn’t know about, yet I couldn’t help the guilt that burned inside when I saw how disappointed Brody was when I triggered the attack at the cabin. And I couldn’t help the feeling that I was feeling right now. But I could hide it. I had to.
I knew sometimes prisoners or kidnap victims did that with their captors, began feeling like they belonged with them or felt sympathy for them. Stockholm syndrome, I think it was called. And though I didn’t think this Brody was an act, I knew I wasn’t meant for happy endings, so it was important to push my feelings away, down where no one would see them, not even me. And with that last thought, I felt my disappointment hit the surface and sink down, deep.
I stepped out of the shower and toweled off. I tried to squeeze the water out of my hair, but droplets still soaked into the blue scrubs. I examined my face in the mirror to make sure I was still myself. When I confirmed my own reflection, I opened the curtain and walked right into the middle of an argument that was taking place in the kitchen.
Brody and Aaron stood nose-to-nose, but as soon as I stepped out, they stopped talking and stared at me. Aaron’s face was red, and I could feel the anger radiating off him as he glared at me. Dan stood off by the refrigerator, watching Brody and Aaron.
Aaron’s stare was startling, and I backed up. Even though I didn’t mean to, I found myself moving in the direction of the door that led outside.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Aaron asked, his eyebrows creasing in a feral manner. I froze. I looked behind me and saw the door, then turned back to Aaron.
I put my hands up in surrender. “I didn’t mean…” I started, but Brody cut me off.
“Aaron, lay off,” he said, his voice low but firm.
Aaron moved towards me, swiftly. I tried to stand my ground, but there was an intense anger and energy to him. He was moving like he wasn’t going to stop. I recoiled, closing my eyes, but then opened them immediately. He stood right in front of me, looking down
at me.
I moved back a step, but he was still too close. He leaned down, and I felt his hot breath on my face. He reached out and flicked a clump of my wet hair off my shoulder. I flinched in surprise. Then his eyes grew wide, and I knew what he was seeing. I tried to put my hands up, but it was too late.
“Brody, she still has those earrings.” I twisted them, gripping them tightly. I backed up, feeling weak, and I knew in that moment I was weak. I needed to stand my ground. I decided then and there that I would not let him take them. I would not let him bully me.
Aaron stepped towards me with his hand out, palm up. “Give them to me.”
“No,” I said, finding my voice. I backed up as far as I could go. My shoulder blades pressed against the cold metal door that led outside. I protectively shielded the earrings from him.
“Give me the earrings.” Aaron stayed back, waiting for me to hand them over.
I knew I was being stupid. He was my kidnapper. He had total control, but I couldn’t give up the one thing I held onto through all of this. Everything I had done was for my family. What more could this boy do to me? “I won’t,” I said, lifting my chin up at him.
“Meda,” Brody called softly but sternly. Aaron stepped towards me, leaving no space between us.
I was backed into a corner. I remembered before, the feeling of his hand squeezing tightly around my neck, and found that I couldn’t physically control myself anymore; it was fight or flight. Without thinking, I swung a tight right hook that connected with Aaron’s cheekbone.
Aaron stumbled back, shocked. Dan covered his mouth with his hand. I braced myself for the repercussion. Before Brody could move to stop him, Aaron rushed me. He shoved me so hard against the door that it banged open. I lost my footing and collapsed in the hallway, but I could hear him breathing, heavy gasping breaths, and I knew he wasn’t done.
I scrambled to my feet and turned to run towards the exit. From behind, two hands shoved me hard against the outside door, which luckily, had not been bolted shut. I stumbled on three steps directly outside the door and lurched up them, but I wasn’t fast enough. Rough hands grabbed the back of my scrubs and pushed me down into the patchy grass at the top of the steps. The wind was knocked out of me as I hit the ground, but I caught myself with my hands before my face connected with the grass. The air was still, and I saw tiny ants scrabbling in the dirt in front of me.
Aaron reached down and grabbed the back of my arm, pulling it back and turning me so I faced him. I didn’t want to look at him. I saw the oddly peaceful blue sky, and then, behind Aaron, I saw Brody trying to get up the steps to us, but Dan was holding him back. “Let go, Dan! Stop it, Aaron! Stop!” Brody yelled, fighting against his friend. But Dan was bigger, a muscular gearhead. They seemed too far away, even though they were only a couple of feet.
My ears were ringing, and everything felt hollow. Aaron picked me up again by the collar of the scrubs, and I heard it tear at the neckline. He shoved me down in the grass again, knocking the air out of my lungs. I tried to focus my eyes on him, but everything was blurry. Leaves crunched beneath my back. I tasted blood in my mouth. I must have bit my tongue.
Aaron screamed at me. “Why were you after Mr. Gray?” He leaned down and grabbed me by the collar again. I tried to squirm away, scuttle through the grass and weeds, but he twisted his hand tight so the scrubs were like a noose around my neck. I reached up, trying to pry his hand loose to give me some relief, but there was none.
“What were you going to do?” he yelled in my face. I closed my eyes tight, trying to fight the tears, trying to will him away, or will myself away. I couldn’t breathe, and everything was fuzzy. That was why I didn’t see his hand coming at me, but I felt it. It landed hard, stinging the left side of my face and breaking loose the dam of tears.
“Aaron, stop!” When I opened my eyes, I could see again, but it was like looking in a tunnel. I could see Brody wrestling with Dan, trying to get to Aaron. Then Aaron shook me, my head jerking violently back and forth, my brain throbbing.
“Why Mr. Gray?” he yelled. He shook again.
I couldn’t hold it in anymore. My body was screaming with pain. I was gasping, trying to speak, but words wouldn’t come out, and finally, my voice cracked, causing Aaron to pause, fist in the air as though he was going to strike me again.
I sobbed, ashamed at myself, and sputtered, “My primary target wasn’t Mr. Gray.” I spit out the words at him. Blood went with, droplets spotting my borrowed scrubs. I was angry at the tears streaming down my face. I gasped, but it sounded like a sob. “Mr. Gray was just a pass-through.” Aaron was inches from my face, breathing heavily. It was nauseating.
“Then who was the primary? Who were you trying to get to?” He twisted his fist, pulling my collar tighter. I grabbed at his hands, hitting them, but without any real force, trying to knock them free. I could see over Aaron. Brody stopped struggling against Dan.
Aaron let his grip loose just enough for me to get a big breath of air. It felt good to be able to take a full breath, but I could see Aaron’s fist balled up, ready to strike again. The fight seeped out of me. “The President,” I whispered, my lips bubbling with blood. “My primary target was the President of the United States.”
chapter 6
Aaron held me like that for a while, hands froze in a ferocious grip. He was encompassing, all I could see, and I wasn’t sure if the violence was over, but when he spoke, the rage in his voice had subsided to a dull hatred. “You were going to kill the President?”
I struggled to speak. “I don’t kill anyone,” I said, trying to defend myself, but I had to admit, even to me it sounded weak.
Aaron lifted me close to him. I flinched as his hot breath hit my face. “What do you think happens to people once you become them?” I stared at him. “Do you think they just let them hop back into their lives, with no recollection of the events you lived through? Don’t you think that would be suspicious?”
“I don’t know what happens. That’s not my job.” I knew it sounded stupid when I said it, like I was making excuses.
“Not your job? Not your job? You have no clue what your job is. You have no idea what is going on.” I held my breath in fear that Aaron would hit me again. I could feel his anger rising. “You better pick a side, freak. Because right now, you are completely expendable—to us and them.” He continued to hold me close, glaring at me. I still wasn’t sure if he was done with me or not. I tried to look strong, show that he hadn’t affected me, but I didn’t know what he was seeing.
Then, Aaron let me go, my shoulders dropping the last few inches back to the ground with a dull thump. He angrily kicked a lump of dirt and grass, causing me to flinch, but he didn’t kick them at me. He turned and walked toward Dan and Brody. He pushed by them roughly, and they both got out of his way.
Dan followed right behind Aaron, looking back at me only once, while Brody made his way toward me. He slowly came to my side and opened his mouth as if to speak, but no words came out. He bent down and reached his arm out as an offering.
“No,” I said, shaking my head. I didn’t want him touching me. I didn’t want anyone touching me. I stayed there on the ground. My hand found the corner of my mouth. It was wet. I pulled my hand away and saw red. Fresh tears streamed down my face, and I felt Brody just standing there, staring at me. I wanted him to go away, but I knew he wouldn’t. He couldn’t. I was their prisoner.
He reached down, moving to wipe the blood off my face, but I turned my head and wiped my mouth on the upper sleeve of the scrubs, then self-assessed to make sure everything was still where it needed to be after the beating I’d taken. I reached up and rubbed the back of my neck. It throbbed. I probably had whiplash from Aaron shaking me. I took a deep breath, and I felt the pain in my ribs and gasped.
“Are you okay?” Brody asked.
I’d nearly forgotten he was there. I looked up at him. “I’m not on their side.” My words came out as a whisper, more to myself than anyone else. “I
’m not on anyone’s side.”
He reached down and offered his arm to me again. I stared at it. “Meda, there is a way you can make things right. If you cooperate, we might be able to change things. To fix things.”
I turned my eyes to him. I felt defeated. “There are some things that can never be fixed.”
“But you can try.” His eyes flickered with determination. I don’t think this guy ever took no for an answer.
“I’m not a killer. I’ve never killed anyone.” I took a breath and continued. “If I didn’t do it, someone else would. They could have gotten anyone to be Mr. Gray. They could have gotten anyone for this job. I’m not their number one.” I spit blood out of my mouth and into the grass, wiping my hands on my legs.
“But why you? If they had other choices, why did they choose you?” Brody asked.
“I don’t know,” I answered. I stared at his hand and finally reached for it. He hoisted me up, and I grimaced in pain. I allowed myself to put my weight on him as he walked me back to the underground bunker.
The first time we came through, I was blindfolded and hadn’t seen the large bolted door. Brody hoisted me through the door and into a small hallway that ended in another door. There was a key swipe and a punch code, and then we were back in the kitchenette. That was as far as Brody took me. He pulled out a chair at the table. Aaron and Dan were nowhere to be found. I suspected they were behind the second large metal door at the back of the kitchenette. That door was also equipped with a code panel.
“Tell me about the job,” Brody said, sliding the chair gently under me. “Why Mr. Gray?”
I sighed. Brody was the only one who treated me like a human, and they were right. I was expendable. The gunfire at the cabin had proven that. I decided that whatever happened, it didn’t matter anymore how much I revealed to Brody. He and I were both dead already. Well, I had a chance if the Agency decided I was valuable enough to keep, but they had no reason to keep him alive.
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