by Frankie Love
It’s still early when I get to the shop, Twilight Moon Apothecary, and I feel slightly more relaxed. Before I left the cottage, Calder gave me his address, and I feel like whatever it is I’ve found with him, it’s concrete. Real.
I stopped at the coffee shop and grabbed myself a pumpkin spice latte, which makes everything a little bit better, though I've just had the best night of my life so it seems impossible for anything to bring me down in this exact moment.
That night with Calder was everything. There's a deep pain in my chest. I wish I had met him a year ago, when Alessandra was still alive.
I would have been calling her right this minute, telling her all about this guy I just met. This man who is changing everything for me. She would have laughed and demanded all the details. And I blink back tears as I realize I'll never be able to share these memories with her. I try to get a grip as I think about this, while I go about opening the shop, pulling open the blinds and turning on the register, dusting the bottles I have on various shelves and making a list of items I need to purchase from my supplier.
I’m trying to put aside thoughts of Alessandra and think instead of the tangible, the here and the now. The to-do list and the customers, as they begin to arrive. I force myself to put on a smile and be present and available as Tom Higgins comes in and asks for a cough syrup, and for Lyla Banks as she asks if I have anything that might help with her head cold. Tyson Landry comes in explaining the arthritis his wife has been experiencing, and I sell him a new salve I've made just for this purpose.
“You remembered,” he says.
“Yes. When you came in here last week, I was certain I could make something that would help her. And I'm sure this will do the trick. Just have her apply it to her wrists twice a day, and I think she'll be feeling a bit of relief.”
“Thank you so much, Cordelia,” he says. “I don't know what we would do without you in this town. I don't know what I would do without this shop.”
“Well, good, because I sure do love working here,” I tell him. And I mean it.
Customers come in one by one and I smile and thank them and do my best to help them, pulling out my textbooks on botany a few times for reference when people mention conditions they are dealing with. I take notes as ideas pop into my head about some new blends I could make to help.
The mint tea is popular and I'm not surprised, as it is winter time. Everyone wants something cozy to drink at night. And by the end of the workday, I'm exhausted in that perfect way that only comes from a job well done. This is the reason I could never move back to the ocean full-time. Why I could never rule the sea. Because my heart is here, with the people in the Badlands.
I wish my father understood that, could understand me.
Which means I'm going to have to explain, in very clear terms, what side I'm choosing. I have to tell him that I haven't changed my mind.
I’ve just turned the sign on my door to ‘Closed’ and am about to lock it when Fjord enters. He's tall and lean, but strong.
Fjord steps inside my apothecary shop swiftly, closing the door. "What are you doing?" I ask. "I'm closing shop for the day. And I'm leaving."
"Not until we have a conversation," he says. "I presume your father told you about our engagement party tonight?"
"Yes." I say, "he did. And I told him I'm not very interested in attending."
“It's in three hours, Cordelia, you need to be there. You owe it to him and you owe it to me."
"I don't owe you anything," I say.
"You do owe me. I’ve waited years for you," he says, flicking a long lock of black hair from his eye, "and you owe it to your father. He's given you everything you've wanted. Time, space, money, resources. You wouldn't have this shop if it wasn't for his generosity."
I swallow, knowing he's right. My father gave me the money I needed to open this store, even though it was against his better judgment. He feared if I lived on land, I would not want to return to the sea. He was right.
"You aren't just hurting me,” Fjord presses. “You're hurting him. Would you really do that to a man who's already lost his wife? Now you're going to make him lose his daughter too?"
"It's not my fault," I say. "I don't want that life. Why can't I do what I want? I'll still come back and visit and—"
"That's not good enough," Fjord says. "Marrying you is my stepping stone to the throne. And if you're not in the picture it's going to be very difficult for me to become the Lord of the Sea."
"That's not my problem, Fjord, go deal with that with my father. I have my own life I'm trying to live. And I tried to explain that to Father yesterday, but he couldn't hear me. Maybe you can. I'm not going to that party and I'm not going to be your wife."
"Do you understand what position you're putting me in?" he asks.
"No, what position am I putting you in?" I say, frustrated beyond all measure.
"You're forcing my hand here. I'm going to have to make a choice that's going to hurt you, and that's something you're going to have to live with."
"What are you trying to say, Fjord?"
He laughs, or maybe cackles. Either way, he looks at me as if I'm a fool before pulling open the door and walking away.
A chill runs over me and I swallow the fear that fills my belly.
Whatever Fjord is up to, it's not good. And I'm scared that my decision right now means someone else is going to have to pay for it.
Calder
After Cordelia leaves for work in the morning, I shift to bear form and make the trek back home, moving slowly through the unfamiliar woods until I find my footing on a familiar path near my cabin. When I get to my place, I shift back to human form quickly, making my way inside and stepping into the shower.
I wash off, trying to think of how I can salvage things for Cordelia, fix things with a father I've never even met. A fiancé who's supposedly promised to her, who she despises. I need to set things straight, but doing so would mean I'm going against her wishes. Still, I need to do something. I'm a man — I have to take control.
I clean up and get dressed, tidying up my cabin before chopping some wood to get my mind clear. I stack it by the side of my place and then jump in my truck and head downtown to the Badlands. At the grocery store, I grab essentials — bread, milk, eggs, cheese — and then I get some special items, fancy chocolate, champagne, a few bottles of red wine, vegetables that are in season and a pound of cherries.
There's some fresh pasta and I add that to my cart, wanting to make Cordelia something good for dinner after her long day at work. I consider stopping by her apothecary, but decide not to, knowing she was pretty clear this morning when she said she needed space to clear her head and think things through. And I'll give her that. Hell, I'll grant her anything. The last thing I want to do is to make her think I don't respect her, that I don't hear her wishes or her words.
So instead I stop at a barber shop and I get myself a haircut, wanting to clean up nice for my woman. There's a florist and I grab a bouquet of flowers. And then when I jump back in my truck, I drive to her cottage, placing the roses on her doorstep with a note: I'm more than your mate, I'm yours.
Back in my truck I head home, putting away the groceries and making a marinade for the steaks in my fridge.
The rest of the afternoon passes quickly. And soon enough, I'm mincing some herbs for the potatoes I'm planning on roasting when there's a knock on my door. I look at the clock and see it's after five.
When I get to the door, I smile, seeing Cordelia. She looks beautiful, though her face is lined with worry.
"I came straight from work,” she says. “I’m feeling a little upset."
I open the door for her and she steps inside my home for the very first time. She looks around, sighing. "Your place is so cozy,” she says. “So tidy," she adds with a small laugh. “You must've thought my cottage was a disaster zone — I have shelves lined and cupboards filled with all sorts of odds and ends.”
I wrap an arm around her, kissing the si
de of her head. “I like your organized chaos,” I say, “and I just moved here, remember, I don't have much.” I cup her cheeks and turn her face up so I can see her eyes. “But Cordelia, what happened?"
She walks into the kitchen, eyeing everything, noticing the cutting board and the food on the counter for the dinner that I'm about to cook.
"You're doing dinner and you have this whole night planned,” she says. “You even got wine?"
I nod. "I wasn't sure what you liked, so I got some red and some white."
She steps toward me and gives me a kiss. "You're perfect, Calder."
"Why do I feel like there's a but coming?"
She shakes her head. "There's not, I've just… I've got to go talk to my dad. Fjord came into the shop just as I was closing and…”
“And what?" I ask, my muscles twitching. "I don't like the sound of this."
She runs a hand through her hair. “He was mad and threatening. He warned that someone's going to have to pay. And I feel like it's going to be me or my father, or…”
“Let's go,” I say. “Let's go deal with this. I'm not going to let his threats worry you."
"What do you plan on doing?" she asks.
"I plan on going to see your father,” I say.
She bites her bottom lip. "I don't know."
"I do,” I tell her. “I love you, Cordelia, and yes, it’s fast but yes, it is fucking true. I want this to work. I'm going to make it work and you don't have to do this alone."
She wraps her arms around me and buries her face in my chest. “I love you too, Calder.”
Her words are a balm to my heart, the one I thought was broken after losing my brother. I kiss her softly. “I promise to take care of you.”
We get in my truck and she tells me how to get to the cove. Once there, she points toward a ravine. "It's down this cliff,” she says, “that's where I meet my father. Maybe you can shift and make it down more easily. I was able to climb up, but I'm not sure I can climb down."
"Well, then how are you going to get down there?" I ask her.
“I can go through the river,” she says. “It's not far, it's just through this clearing. And then I can dive in. It's not as steep over there."
"You sure?" I ask her.
She nods. "I'm sure. I'll meet you on the rock and then we can summon my father."
I pull her to me and kiss her again. "It's going to be okay."
"Why are you so sure?” she asks. “My father is not going to give you his blessing."
"I know it won't be easy and I'm not saying it will be, but we've got to fight for this, Cordelia, we've got to fight for us."
She smiles and kisses me one last time before turning away. "I'll see you there," she says, calling over her shoulder, and I nod, wanting her to have confidence in me. In us.
I look over the ravine but there are trees at the bottom, making it hard to see the rocks she's speaking of and the cove beyond them. From this angle I think it will be easier for me to get down there in my human form. I begin to climb down the cliff slowly but surely, holding onto rocks and roots to keep my footing. When I get to the bottom, there's a large rock and in the distance, I see the cove she mentioned. Waves crash and the salty sea licks the rocks surrounding me.
Climbing along the shoreline, I begin to round toward the cove, but stop when I see two men on the shore arguing, fighting really, fists raised, anger coursing through them.
"If she won't marry me, I'll kill you,” the younger one says before pushing the older man to the ground.
"I've treated you like a son," the older man says. “Why would you do this?"
The young man leans over him with a trident in his hand — it doesn't look like it belongs to him. For some reason, it feels like it belongs to the man on the ground, like it has already been stolen.
A flash of anger rises up in me. Who does this man think he is to push an older man to the ground like this? And then it dawns on me. This is Cordelia's father and Fjord.
Shifting quickly, I run toward them in bear form, growling from the rocks to the shore, anger pulsing through me. I charge at the men, fear filling their eyes. The young man directs the trident toward me, summoning a storm.
But I won't be stopped by rain, by water. No. I told Cordelia I would fight for her and I will. This man Fjord is as bad as she said, and worse.
I growl as I clamber on top of him. He jabs me with the trident, thinking that force will stop a bear, but it won't. I won't be stopped by any man. I pin him to the sand and he shouts for help.
"Murdoch,” he cries to Cordelia’s father, “help me.”
But Murdoch stands, free from Fjord’s fury. With the trident brandished at me, I growl more deeply, barring my teeth. I swipe at the trident and it flies from Fjords hands; Murdoch runs and grabs it. I growl more fiercely, and Murdoch looks at me. I look back at him.
I will finish Fjord if Murdoch wants me to, but Murdoch tells me to move.
"No,” he says, the sea calming as he takes claim over the trident once more. “You don't need to kill him for me. I have the trident now."
And I realize the trident is what holds the strength of the sea. Whatever creature holds it has the power.
Seething, I move away from Fjord, wishing I had been given permission to finish him forever.
Instead, I watch as Murdoch raises his trident and shoves it straight in Fjord’s chest, striking him down once and for all.
"Father," Cordelia screams, coming up from the water, her fur coat falling to the sand, her skin glistening. She's wrapped in seaweed and she looks like a goddess. She is a goddess, a selkie princess. My princess forever.
She looks at Fjord, who has been hit with a lightning bolt so strong and so fierce it's killed him instantly. But when Cordelia leans down to Fjord, tears streak her face, and she whispers, "He's not breathing, Father, what happened? Why did you…?” She looks at me, her eyes asking me if I am the one who did this, and I shift back to human form. "What have you done?"
Murdoch, though, steps forward. "I did this,” he says. “I killed Fjord."
"You did?” Cordelia asks. “But just last night you were singing his praises and his honor. Why have you now done such a thing?" She looks between us, trying to understand what's happened.
"He was trying to kill me,” her father explains. “He took my trident and was about to finish me. Apparently, he got the picture from you that marrying you wasn't going to happen, and that angered him. Not because he loved you, but because he wanted power. It’s just as you've been warning me, but I was too dense to hear it. I still believed he loved me like a father and that he loved you as well, but he'd been playing me for a fool this whole time, wanting nothing but the power of the ocean, caring little for the people in it, the creatures who live here."
“But how did you get it back?" she asks, looking at the trident. So fierce and strong, a pronged power that can give life or take it.
"It was because of this man here, this bear. He arrived in time and saw what was happening. He moved quickly and saved my life before Fjord could finish me."
Cordelia is crying. "Oh my God,” she says. “Fjord’s really gone. I’m free of him.”
“Yes,” her father says. “And it's all because of your mate."
Cordelia
When I first saw Calder I knew he was special, someone who could help heal the broken parts of me with his presence alone, but I never hoped for such happiness. For a man willing to fight for me, and for my father.
Or to have a partner who I not only loved but who my father approved of.
Now, as I stand on the shore of the sea with the two men in my life, for the first time I believe that there is a way for these two paths to merge. I wrap seaweed around Calder, covering him, and I lick my lips, loving the wild and untamed way my beast of a man looks here on the ocean’s edge. Like a fighter. My fighter.
“I can never repay you for what you have done,” Father says to Calder.
“But that’s not true
.” Calder runs a hand over his thick beard. His shoulders are broad and his body is an anchor that I want to hold onto through any storms that life may bring. “You can repay me by giving me your daughter’s hand.”
My father pulls back his shoulders, considering this request. “But you are a bear shifter and we are seal people — cut from different cloth.”
“But we both respect the land, sea, air and sky,” Calder insists. “We may come from different spaces, but our hearts are knit together. I may be from the land, but the soil needs water to grow life, to thrive.”
“You will never be completely accepted in one another’s worlds,” Father pushes back. “You will always be apart in some ways. It is why things with my wife were so hard — we saw the world differently.”
“But Father, I’ve never been completely accepted by your people either…” I say, needing him to know my heart.
“Yesterday when we fought,” he says, “I thought of how I fought with your mother, how when she died I was left with so many regrets. I don’t want that for you, for us.”
Tears fill my eyes. “I don’t want regrets either, and I know I just met Calder, but Father, it’s as though I have known him all my life.”
“I don’t want to interfere in your life anymore, Cordelia. I don’t want to lose you.”
“You mean that?” I ask, biting back hope. “Because we’ve lost so much this year already. Alessandra died, and Calder lost his brother. We are two broken people trying to be one whole.”
“You’re still grieving,” Father says. “Both of you.”
Calder steps closer, taking my hand in his. His calloused hand is the strength I need, his voice the assurance that when we are together, we stand on solid ground — there is no shifting sand. “We will mourn those we loved all our lives, surely you understand. But that doesn’t mean we can’t keep living. Loving. And there is no better place to heal than in the care of a woman like Cordelia. Hell, she makes salves for a living.”
My father nods, setting his hands on our shoulders. “This is an unorthodox pairing, but there have been less usual ones made here in the Badlands Territory. I give you my blessing, Cordelia and Calder.”
