by Iris Lim
“Charles! Whatever possessed you to –”
“Mr. Bingley.” Miss Elizabeth emerged, her hands supporting her pale, trembling sister. The stalwart Miss Elizabeth had been rather very helpful in assisting our recuperating guests.
“Jane!” I retrieved my hands and feet from their various directions and quickly rushed to her aid. “Jane – are you well? I – thank you for braving the chill for me.”
There was a unique expression – almost like a smirk – on Miss Elizabeth’s face when I assisted Jane in her place. I did not ponder overmuch upon it.
“Jane, please – have water.” I rushed to procure the freshly-filled pot as soon as I had helped her upon the chaise. Louisa, now seated beside her, helped me in moving enough flat pillows to raise her frame. “Jane – thank you for your bravery.”
I knew, even then, that Caroline stared daggers at the back of my head.
I frankly did not care.
“Jane, darling – please, it shall all be over once we answer all their questions,” I tried so keenly to assure her. That she needed time to rest and to recover was clear. Whether we could spare such time amidst the chaos of the villagers’ assault upon Netherfield was what I did not know.
Left and right, women and men and children dashed into Netherfield with their sources of suggested help, from food to clothing to coins, before dashing out quite as quickly as they had to run home for more. People I’d known so shortly, as well as people I had not known at all, collaborated to assist my family in overcoming our recent adversity.
I quite liked the countryside.
“The constable shall be down shortly.” Footsteps accompanied the announcement. I knew without turning that it was Darcy.
I was thankful, most thankful, indeed, that he accompanied me for this visit.
“Are you well? The wounds and blood and all?” I forced my eyes off Jane to address my friend. My hand still held hers tightly.
Darcy’s smile was almost a scoff. “I am well enough.”
“You should congratulate me, friend.” I could not seem to stop referring to my newly-found happiness. I knew he would rejoice for me. “Jane and I are to be married!”
He did not congratulate me immediately, but he did not mock – which was kindness enough from him, I supposed.
“You are certain?” He asked, eyes narrowed. I noticed he did not cross his arms. Perhaps they were sore.
“I have never been more certain of any choice in my life.” I accentuated my declaration with a kiss to Jane’s hand. Her weak smile was everything lovely.
“This is not a sudden decision – caused by the urgency of our previous captivity?”
“No, of course not!” I dismissed him immediately. Why indeed would he think so?
There was silence in the room for another few minutes – interrupted only by Caroline’s occasional scoffs and the sound of rustling skirts as Louisa moved to and fro, accepting the villagers’ aid.
I nearly forgot that Miss Elizabeth was in the room at all until she spoke.
“Mr. Bingley, we are most grateful for your kindness – but I believe the carriage has arrived to escort Jane and me home.”
I sighed unhappily. The separation was inevitable, of course, but still wholly unwelcome.
A second thought entered my mind.
“May we call at Longbourn tomorrow? As early as we could?” I asked the sister who was not currently fainting.
Miss Elizabeth looked rather pale today – but she nodded anyway. “Of course, Mr. Bingley.”
• • •
I had known since Bingley’s request last night that I was to accompany him on his call.
What I had not expected was the lightness of heart that the short trek to Longbourn provided. My head and arms still ached from our ordeal, but the healthy exercise proved welcome to my long-constrained bones.
To marry Elizabeth had become a secret wish ever since our first acquaintance. It was a wish that all my mental condemnations could not quench. Recent events, despite their scars on my body, had taken said secret desires and converted them into public declarations.
I frankly could not be happier about the fact.
“Jane!” Bingley’s exclamation was entirely too loud for Longbourn’s small confines, though it coincided with his energy quite well. “May I seek an audience with your father?”
Miss Bennet, much recovered in her coloring, nodded primly – and Bingley nearly hopped his way towards the study, his bride and her maid at his tail. Mrs. Bennet persisted in her own exultations over our visit. I waited patiently, allowing my friend to have his turn.
It would not do to overwhelm Mr. Bennet so soon after his daughters had returned to his care.
“Miss Elizabeth,” I called when there was a lull at last between Mrs. Bennet’s words. My fiancée met my eye from a distance. I felt apologetic for not having sought her attention sooner. In atonement, I smiled. “I hope we shall not wait much longer.”
A sudden silence descended upon the room. All eyes descended upon my person.
I was confused.
“Miss Elizabeth, shall we not – talk to your father as well?” I knew my smile had already fallen, but I tried my best not to frown.
But frown she did back at me! I wondered briefly if she was one of the stranger sort of women – those who prefer men under peril but not men dressed properly and standing in her house.
“Miss Elizabeth?”
“Mr. Darcy!” It was Mrs. Bennet who responded. I turned, bewildered, to face her. “What could you possibly be talking about? Why should Lizzy talk to her father?”
My mind had barely roused since the haze of the attack’s aftermath. Now, it woke violently – shocked and pained.
“Mrs. Bennet.” I struggled to maintain my equilibrium. “Given the general knowledge of my friend and Miss Bennet’s understanding, I had presumed that my own betrothal with –”
“Mr. Darcy!” Elizabeth jumped out of her chair. I looked at her with as much bewilderment as I had previously regarded her mother. “Shall we take a turn about the gardens?”
I blinked stupidly towards her, unsure.
“Kitty, Lydia – do accompany us.” She called her sisters without sparing them a single glance. “Mama, Mary shall keep you company enough as you wait for Papa and Jane and Mr. Bingley to finish. Come, let us go.”
And, without another word, Elizabeth grasped my fingers in her left hand, gathered her sisters’ with her right – and promptly escorted us all out the door.
• • •
“Elizabeth, dear – shall you stop pacing?”
His words slowed my actions, though they did not succeed in halting my movements entirely. I paused only slightly, gathering just enough time to heave a sigh, and then continued.
“Elizabeth!”
“Please, sir – there is no need to call me with such familiarity.” I made sure to face away from him when I stopped. My heart was heavy in its turmoil, sad and bereft. My hand clenched the bark of the nearby tree. I would worry over the scratches later.
“Elizabeth, your sisters tarry far behind.” He ran after me, stopping only after the leaves under his feet flew against the back of mine. I listened, pained. “There is no need for such formality.”
“I am afraid there is, sir.” I sighed again – bracing myself with every strength I could muster before I turned to face him. “I’m afraid mere acquaintances do not address each other so.”
His eyes were wide when I finally directed my own gaze towards them. He hovered where he stood, a few mere feet away. He blinked rarely and cleared his throat repeatedly.
I wondered if I’d said enough for him to understand.
“Mr. Darcy –”
“Acquaintances?” He was frowning. His eyes seemed to glisten. I did not know what I had done to cause him to react so. “Miss Elizabeth, I fail to understand you. Had you not departed Netherfield yesterday as my betrothed?”
I flinched slightly at his accusation – then
braved the battle on.
“I understand that you are an honorable man, sir.” I began to look down. The emotions in his eyes were too stormy, too fierce. “I shall have you know that I refuse to entrap your honor. Despite your kindness, I cannot force you to tie yourself to me merely due to the –”
I struggled.
“Merely due to the – the urgency of our recent captivity.” I bit my lip when I finished, refusing to cry.
He said nothing.
He stood there, the tips of his boots still as stone, for many arduous minutes.
I blinked my tears away.
“Mr. Darcy, I understand that –”
“Is this because of me?” His voice was cracked, airy.
I met his eye again. “Sir, I fail to understand –”
“You know that my childhood friend-turned-nemesis was behind the attack – and you reject me for it.” A solitary tear escaped his right eye. “Elizabeth, I –”
“Sir, I am not rejecting you!” I leaned closer, surprised he did not understand. “I am releasing you from your promise, knowing that your marriage prospects are much better than mine.”
“And what of the ways I have compromised you?”
“I – you did not – we did –” I licked my lips, then bit them. My own tears were barely contained. “I shall keep mum about our kisses.”
“Elizabeth –”
“Mr. Darcy, I cannot bear to think of your marrying me only for duty! You are an upright man, and I –”
“Elizabeth –” He grabbed my shoulders and pulled me close – his face inches from mine. I watched his shifting expressions with fascination.
“Mr. Darcy?”
• • •
“Can you not understand?” I poured my heart into every word, every gaze, every moment. Her face was tantalizingly close, but I was obliged to resist – just yet. “Elizabeth, I love you.”
She blinked at me, mouth agape.
“Your wit and charm have captivated me since the beginning of our introduction – and have only fastened their grip upon my heart since then. Your bravery, in the face of grave danger, set you far and above any woman I know. Your loyalty to your sister and to me – can only warrant my sincerest respect and admiration for the rest of my days.”
She watched me closely, I could tell. I softened my tones.
“You cannot release me without rejecting me, Elizabeth.” I grazed the tip of my nose across hers. “My heart shall be broken if you do.”
“Mr. Darcy –”
“Yes?”
“You – you –” Her voice faltered, though her eyes did not. “You love me?”
“Most ardently.”
“And you – do not regret your – proposal?”
“Not for the world, Elizabeth.”
“But what you said to Mr. – Bingley. I had thought –”
“You thought wrong.” I pulled her closer, until her body pressed upon mine. “My concerns regarding his easily-wrought emotions do not apply to my own.”
“But how would you know –”
“Will you marry me, Elizabeth?”
She gazed at me openly, her eyes drifting to my lips, then my eyes, then my hands, then my lips and eyes again.
“Because you want to marry me?” she asked.
“Yes – and I can only hope that you do as well.”
“Fitzwilliam, I –”
I found hope in her words – then in her smile.
“I would most happily marry you.”
The kisses I could not wait to bestow made sure I did not hear whatever else she might wish to say right after.
Chapter Nine
“Oh, Lizzy! How can we ever deserve such happiness!” Jane’s face flushed as beautifully as her words did. Standing beside her, with the church doors before us, I felt more nervousness than any other emotion. I knew, even glimpsed, my handsome groom standing by the altar – regal and tall – some bruises fading, others healed. Was I ready to voluntarily embark on a lifelong adventure so soon after our fateful one in Netherfield?
“Oh, Lizzy, I hope they do not flee.” Jane, incandescent in white, grabbed my arm. “We each have had a rather short courtship, have we not?”
“Your Mr. Bingley was ready to marry you the very night of the assembly!” I teased. “He would never run from you, Jane.”
My sister blushed prettily, an epitome of the virginal bride.
“Your Mr. Darcy is not much less smitten, dear.” She smiled at me, ever kind.
I lowered my face to hide my own blush.
“Lizzy,” she called gently, leaning close.
“Yes?”
“Did Mama – scare you?” The fear in her eyes implied that Mama did scare her.
Was the threshold of our village church the best place to discuss this topic?
I grabbed her arm gently and leaned beside her ear. “I’m sure all will be well.”
“But what if the pain –” Jane swallowed just as the music swelled within the building before us.
I gripped both her hands, taking care to speak low enough to avoid any stray ears.
“Mr. Darcy himself has assured me –” I pulled back at Jane’s wide eyes, noticing only then what I had spoken. “I – I mean.”
It was by luck alone that the clock struck then, heralding the start of our momentous day.
I would much rather not disclose what Fitzwilliam and I had discussed.
• • •
The ceremony, though far more crowded than I would have preferred, was solemn enough, simple enough, and, blissfully, fast enough. The pride in my heart, nearly bursting and drowning it whole, buoyed my smile until we sat down to indulge in the lavish feast Mrs. Bennet had miraculously procured within weeks, if not days.
Elizabeth, my Elizabeth – my wife smiled radiantly, her brilliance conquering her sister’s without effort. I clasped her hand the entire way to Longbourn. I was relieved to find hers clasping mine back.
“Is the food to your liking, Fitzwilliam?” She whispered by my ear, closely now, in public, as God and law sanctioned her to do.
I brushed my lips against her cheek, satisfied by her subsequent blush. My smile rose again. “I fear I do your mother ill by my true thoughts.”
“My mother?” Her eyes carried half part surprise, half part worry.
“I fear no matter what dishes she may wish to serve today – I would remember only your lips eating them, and not what they truly taste of.” I kissed her knuckles, my body heating most unbecomingly for our current company.
She laughed, sounding nervous. “My mother has done worse.”
“Worse?” I leaned close, worried at her choice of words.
The timid look in her eyes as she fidgeted affirmed my cause to worry.
“Elizabeth, please – tell me.” I leaned closer. I heard a throat clearing, perhaps Mr. Bennet’s. I rejoiced that he no longer held sway. “Are you well?”
She laughed again, her nerves clearly showing now. I pulled our joint hands to my chin, grazing her knuckles with the stubborn stubble on my jaw.
“Elizabeth, you may tell me all.” I wished, for the third time today, that we possessed the privacy our careless captors had granted us. Polite society was nosier than robbers by far!
“My mother was – most enthusiastic – last night.”
What happened last night? I felt my brow crease as my feelings did.
Did Mrs. Bennet shock her daughter in a way I cannot fathom? Would this shock serve to rock our marriage the very day of its inception?
“Lizzy,” I relished the right to address her thus, “did your mother –”
“Hush, sir!” She cried. When Richard and Miss Lucas diverted their attention from each other towards us, I watched Elizabeth smile politely until they spoke to each other once more.
I was as confused as I was the moment before her rush to quiet my voice.
“Lizzy – what happened?” I turned my body to take both of her hands in mine. For the first of ma
ny times, I felt thankful that there was another wedded pair seated so close to us.
The scrutiny, at least, could be shared.
“Lizzy –”
“Are you –” She nearly squirmed in her seat. I feared her mother noting our inattention to hosting very soon.
I grasped her hands tighter.
“Are you – exacting, sir?” She met my eyes with her head lowered.
“Exacting?” I fought to maintain my whisper. What did she mean? “Lizzy, I am unsure what your mother may have said, but I –”
Her laughter, bright and sudden, betrayed her.
She had been teasing all along.
And what was I to do but to shake my head and to laugh with her?
Life itself had been reborn – and I looked forward to our reacquaintance with vigor.
• • •
To feel her pressed against my side, the feeling accented by every jolt of our carriage, warmed me to no end. Jane – my Jane – was the woman I had always wished to marry. Every lady before her had just been a shadow of what was to come.
“Am I heavy?”
She was light as a feather, but she asked so anyway.
“No, not at all.” I pulled her closer and pressed a kiss to her brow.
Her face as she joined me at the altar this morning was incandescent. Every stitch of her attire only summoned forth her true beauty.
The greatest reward of all was that she constantly proved as beautiful within as she was without.
In this respect – she was quite unlike my sisters.
“Will Caroline be well at Netherfield without you?” My wife – my wife – cared so deeply for my undeserving sisters that I could not help love her more.
I nodded against Jane’s hair. “It is but a few days. We deserve our solitude in London.”
“But we are to depart soon after that – are we not?” She was genuinely curious.
“Yes – for our honeymoon.” My eyes nearly misted at the thought.
After years of desolation – I had found her. She was an angel whose eyes carried the very dust of the stars.
“Will they be safe?” Jane asked on, from the limitless kindness of her heart.
“The guilty parties have been arrested and shall face prosecution,” I assured. “Darcy was quite clear and apologetic about the matter.”
