by Barb Han
“I’m good. Not even the sight of blood causes any distress. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen it all.” He paused for a minute and then turned to Alyssa. “The thought of someone inflicting pain on you, on purpose or as part of an exam, doesn’t do good things to my blood pressure. But—”
A knock at the door interrupted him.
“Come in,” Alyssa said.
Dr. Kero stepped in, hands full with Alyssa’s file. She looked to Alyssa, greeted her and then noticed Blake. She introduced herself and shook his hand after tucking the folder under her arm. After a quick hand wash later, she sat on her stool and then scooted it forward.
“Who have we brought with us today?” Dr. Kero asked with a smile.
“I’m her husband.”
Was it wrong she liked hearing the sound of those words coming from Blake? Despite the need for them to work out how this was going to go once the baby arrived, she liked the fact her daughter was going to be surrounded by so much love. Being an O’Connor would give her a stable of uncles and aunts. A few cousins to grow up with. She wouldn’t have any of those things on Alyssa’s side of the family.
“So, I’m guessing this is the baby’s father.” Dr. Kero clasped her hands in her lap. She was good at giving her full attention to Alyssa during exams. The doctor had come highly recommended and it was easy to see why. Her bedside manner had a calming effect.
“That’s right.” Alyssa beamed. She couldn’t help it.
Blake was incredibly hot. Top to bottom, the kind of good-looking that belonged on billboards. But it was his easy charm that disarmed people. It didn’t hurt that the wattage in his smile was bright enough to light up the block. His smile was a show of perfectly straight, white teeth. And then there were his lips.
But she wasn’t there to discuss Blake’s good looks.
“I’m told you’ve been having cramps,” the doctor continued without missing a beat.
“That’s right.”
“On a scale of one to ten, how would you describe them?”
“They’ve gone as high as an eight. No set pattern, though. We tried to time them. It didn’t do any good.”
“I like hearing that. It’s a little early. We want to keep this angel in a few more weeks if possible.” Dr. Kero’s smile warmed her face—a face framed by shoulder-length dark hair and filled with big brown eyes. “Is Dad okay staying in the room while I perform an exam?”
“Yes.” Alyssa hadn’t thought much about going to these appointments alone, despite everything being set up for pairs. She never let the paired-up chairs in the lobby bother her. She’d never used the extra chair in the exam room for more than a place to stick her purse. And she’d never felt a bone-deep sadness about being here alone. So, the joy that filled her having Blake in the room caught her completely off guard. There was no question her feelings for him still ran deep. It was taking this appointment to tell her how much she’d missed him.
The doctor performed her exam.
At one point, Alyssa winced. Blake reached over and took her hand in his. He brought hers up to his lips and pressed a tender kiss there. The moment was so intimate she almost forgot about the pain of the exam.
“All done. You did great.” The doctor wheeled her chair back, took off the gloves and deposited them in a metal receptacle.
“This time hurt more than the others. Is everything all right?”
The doctor nodded before listening to the baby’s heartbeat. When she was done, she put her hand out and said, “You can sit up now.”
Alyssa took her feet out of the stirrups and pushed up to sitting with some effort.
The doctor reclaimed her seat and positioned it in between Alyssa and Blake. “Here’s the situation. You’ve dilated to two centimeters. I’m putting you on bed rest. I want you off your feet as much as possible and I want you to call me if you experience any cramping like you did yesterday.”
Alyssa’s mind reeled. There was still so much to do. She needed to go to her apartment. She needed to check her laptop. She was in the middle of an investigation. How on earth was she going to relax with everything going on?
“I—um—guess I wasn’t expecting this,” she stammered.
“It’s a precaution. I don’t want to take any chances with this little one. She’s a little too eager to come out and I’d like to get a couple more weeks at the least of keeping her snug.” The compassion on the doctor’s face couldn’t quell the panic squeezing Alyssa’s chest.
“But all other signs are good?” Blake chimed in.
“So far, so good. We have a strong heartbeat and that’s a good sign. Even if this little one comes early, girls’ lungs typically develop faster than boys. Even so, we’d have NICU ready to go.”
“Can I travel?” Alyssa asked.
“Are there any extenuating circumstances I need to know about?”
“Like?” Alyssa didn’t want to tell her doctor scary men might be after her.
“Terminally ill relative would top my list. I might make an exception depending on the situation.”
“No. Nothing like that.”
“Then, I’d rather you be home. Comfortable. Feet up. And only move to go to the bathroom. Basically, you’re a princess for the next couple of weeks.” The doctor looked to Blake. “Think you can handle the assignment?”
“I got it.” His jaw was set. His expression dead serious. He had the kind of determination that said he’d move heaven and earth to take care of her.
And, granted, she could take care of herself just fine. She’d done so her entire life. But there was something incredible about someone else having her back again. She didn’t realize how much she’d missed the connection they’d shared and the way each took care of the other.
It was obvious just how much her heart was going to break when she had to walk away from him a second time. Or, worse, have him in her life every day because of the baby but out of reach as a partner.
Chapter Sixteen
“Tell me what’s on your mind.” Blake could feel if not see the tension radiating from Alyssa after the exam. He navigated onto the road, figuring the ranch was out of the equation. They needed to decide where to go next but right now he figured she just needed him to drive.
With Aaron tailing them, he was reasonably certain he could keep them safe. Of course, he could drive her straight to the station. She’d be safe there. Unless someone was working from the inside. They needed to tell her mother they weren’t coming to pick her up after all and that one of his brothers would. He needed to discuss this with Alyssa, but it wasn’t safe for her mother to be with the two of them for the time being.
Alyssa issued a sharp sigh. He’d leaned her chair back as the doctor had instructed to make sure she didn’t put too much pressure on her body while sitting upright. When the doctor said bed rest, she meant it in the strictest sense. She wanted Alyssa on her side as much as possible.
“I’m frustrated that I can’t go to the ranch.” It was hours away and she needed to be closer to her doctor just in case the baby decided to come early.
“Understandable.”
“The security there would help me feel safer and I’m tired. I’m tired of not being able to remember much about the past eight months. I’m tired of not knowing who is after me and why. And I’m tired of not being able to walk across the street without worrying about someone named Bus Stop or the Judge erasing my life or threatening my child.” She stopped herself like she needed a minute to gather her thoughts before continuing. She took in a few deep breaths. “And all this stress isn’t good for the baby, but I’m struggling with calming down. There’s no off button for the stress of basically running for your life while trying to relax for the benefit of your baby.”
He didn’t answer or try to offer solutions. She was finally talking to him and he figured she needed him to listen, to hear what she was
saying rather than jump in and throw out a lot of words meant to fix things. She was intelligent and knew her own mind. In this moment, she needed to talk it through.
Blake navigated onto the highway, figuring being on a crowded road was safer than side streets. He could slide in and around traffic. Plus, there was no shortage of trucks, SUVs and Jeeps on a Houston highway, so it was easy to blend in.
“And I don’t want to put you in more danger than I already have. I mean, those guys figured out where you live and came for me at a cop’s house. What does that tell you about them? That takes a lot of stupidity.”
“Or they didn’t have a choice. They might have been up against a wall. Either they come for us or they end up dead.”
“Well, they ended up dead anyway. So...”
“What happened to them wasn’t your fault.” She needed to know that. He didn’t want her blaming herself for their actions.
“Why does it feel like everything is my fault then?”
“You care. Deeply. It’s one of the reasons I fell in love with you. You’re passionate and when you get something in your mind, you really go for it. You go all in.” His words seemed to be soothing her. She’d loosened her grip on the seat belt strap. His chest filled with pride in the fact he could offer comfort. “You’re also really hard on yourself. And you go all in on that too.”
She leaned her head back and studied him.
“You noticed all that about me?”
“Yeah.” He smiled. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“I don’t know. I guess I never really thought you were paying attention.”
“I could have been better about telling you. What you were talking about a minute ago. The part about holding your stress inside. I never wanted to bring mine home from the job. So, I didn’t talk on rough days. It got easier and easier to keep quiet in general. And when you were dealing with your father’s illness and then death, I let you go quiet too. It was a mistake on my part.”
“There were two of us in that marriage. I only remember it being amazing.”
“And it was for a couple of years. But then you needed me, and I didn’t know what to do, so I lost you.”
“That’s not how I remember it happening.”
“I’m not ready to let myself off the hook either. There were two of us in the marriage. It took both of us to make it work and that meant when I saw you struggling, I should have done more to help figure it out. That’s all.”
“We both share the blame?”
“That’s how I see it.”
She seemed to need to process the thought. She took her time, pinching the bridge of her nose like she was trying to stem a headache. He put on a classical music station. The soft music played in the background, low and soothing.
“That’s nice.” She reached over and touched his arm. “Thanks for everything you said.”
“I meant every word.”
“I know. That’s what makes it special.”
“You’re welcome.” He was true to his convictions. He hadn’t seen the situation as clearly before. He’d been too busy tending to his bruised ego after she’d walked out. But he should’ve seen the writing on the wall. Once they stopped communicating, it was only a matter of time before the rest would break down. She’d just seemed to be slipping into a deeper hole of sadness and he’d had no idea what to do.
They’d been driving for more than a half hour. He took the next exit and banged a U-turn at the first stop light. Instead of pulling back onto the highway, he pulled into the first gas station he could find and parked.
“Do you have a place to go in mind?” he asked. “I can request a safehouse but I can’t make any guarantees of what that would look like.”
“Good question. I doubt we can go back to your place. Not and expect to stay safe for long. My apartment will be watched as well. They have to know where I live.”
“I didn’t think about it before, but we can send Liz to your place to pick up your laptop. She can see if your handbag is there. Cell phone. All she would need is permission from your landlord.”
“What about Aaron back there? Can he go instead?”
“You don’t like Liz?”
“She’s not my favorite person if I’m honest.”
“I figured she irritated you. I didn’t realize how strong your feelings were when it came to her.”
“She knows a little too much about your every move, Blake. Look, I’m not your wife anymore and it’s clear she hates me for hurting you. I’m not even saying that I blame her. But I am saying that I don’t want her in my home. Not if I have another choice.”
“I’ll have someone swing by in uniform. That way, your landlord will give access. Liz is already part of the investigation, but I’ll keep her out as much as possible moving forward.”
“It would be great if she didn’t show up everywhere or look at me like she wants me dead.”
“Liz looks at you like that?” He didn’t doubt her, but he did want to make sure he heard her correctly.
“Afraid so.”
“Then I’ll find a way to do this without her.”
* * *
“WHERE DO WE go from here?” Alyssa had been quietly coming at this new wrinkle in their plans—the doctor-ordered bed rest—from every angle for the past half hour before she and Blake finally spoke. She was practicing the deep breathing exercises her birthing teacher had taught her. Again, the woman deserved a hug, and a big one at that.
“We could always crash at a friend’s place.”
“And drag more innocent people into this mess? No way.” She was already shaking her head the minute he suggested it.
“Fair enough.”
She did realize he was talking about law enforcement officers who were used to putting their lives on the line. But that was their job. This was bringing their work home and possibly placing their families in danger.
“Is there a place where you think you’ll be comfortable?” he asked. “A hotel? A furnished apartment? A vacation rental apartment?”
“I’d like to be as close to my doctor and the hospital as I can be in case we need to be there in a moment’s notice. Something with a kitchen would be nice so we can cook.”
He laughed.
“Oh, right. I’m not allowed to cook, am I?” Getting used to bed rest might be tricky.
“Not on my watch.”
“Then we definitely need food readily available unless you’ve gone to cooking school in the past few months.” She wanted to reel those last words in almost as soon as she spoke them, afraid she would hurt his feelings when she brought up anything about their recent history. He laughed and she sighed with relief. At least they were able to joke again and not feel like they had to constantly walk on eggshells. She’d take the progress.
Blake picked up his cell phone. He leaned over and asked, “Mind if I step out of the vehicle for a minute?”
“No.” The question caught her off guard.
“I need to speak to my mother in private.”
“Go right ahead.” She tried to cover her surprise but figured she overcompensated with a goofy smile. She shouldn’t let his request bother her. The man had a right to request to speak to his family without her right next to him. It still stung a little bit. Probably because she’d been part of that family in the past. They’d been nothing but good to her too and she realized how much she missed them. She’d forgotten or blocked out—she couldn’t be certain which—just how much it hurt to be cut off from the family who’d so easily accepted her as one of their own.
He exited the Jeep and nodded toward Aaron, who was sitting in his vehicle with the engine idling nearby.
Alyssa leaned her head back again and focused on the deep breathing exercises she’d been taught. There was another trick. One that involved thinking the palms of her hands warm. She’d heard a
bout it but never tried it. This seemed like as good a time as any to try something new. Decreasing her stress levels as much as possible was her second priority. Staying alive topped the list.
The door opened and Blake reclaimed his seat.
“How’d it go?” she asked.
“Good. We have a security team from home working on helping us out instead of the two of us trying to use this thing—” he held up his phone “—rather than a real computer.”
“Some people claim a phone is all you need.”
“You know me. I’ve never been a huge fan of staring at a screen all day. A computer comes in handy in police work and I have a laptop in my service vehicle.”
“I can imagine there’s a lot you can do with sharing information and such.”
“It’s staggering how dependent we are. But they’re useful.”
“How is your mother? I’ve been meaning to circle back to our conversation about your family.”
“As good as can be expected.” He lifted a shoulder casually but his tone was anything but relaxed.
“She and your dad were so close. They were literally everything I wanted to be in a marriage.”
He cocked an eyebrow. “How so?”
“Your mother was always her own person. You know? She had her library. She did her own thing. She kept her independence, her sense of self despite having a large family. She and your dad always seemed like two perfect puzzle pieces fitting together. And, wow, could I use some parenting advice from her. All of her children are these truly amazing people.” She stopped when she realized she was about to tell him what an incredible person he was, not wanting to gush. “Anyway, she always had this quiet strength that I admired.”
He smiled.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about this little bean’s name and I’d like it to represent something. I think her formal name could be Margaret, after her grandmother, but I’d like to call her Maggie. What do you think?”
“My mother would be honored.” The look of admiration in his eyes reached deep inside her. It warmed her from the inside out that he appreciated the gesture.
