by Piper Rayne
He shakes his head and stares at me. “What happened that’s made you so jaded?”
I throw my hands in the air. “Screw you. I’m not jaded. It’s called being realistic.”
“When are you going to start living your life instead of living for everyone else? You might as well have died with your parents.”
My reaction is automatic. I step forward, slapping him across the face.
Gasps sound from behind the backdrop, and I look down at my mic in horror.
The deejay runs around the corner. “I’m so sorry. I have no idea how the mic turned on, but—”
“You want to know the truth?” I ask, unshed tears in my eyes. “My car wouldn’t start, and I spent the night at Brooklyn’s. That’s it. I’d say you don’t know me at all.”
“Fuck this. Have a great life.” Liam storms into the darkness beyond the tent.
Juno, Brooklyn, and Holly all come around the backdrop and stare at me.
“What? You know we don’t get along.” I wipe the tears from my eyes with the back of my hand and suck back all the emotions trying to burst forth. “I’ll be right back.”
I head into the house to compose myself, trying to figure out how it all went so bad.
Eleven
Liam
The morning after doomsday, I’m home and working on my bike. I plan on going on a long ride today in order to avoid Savannah, although she didn’t come home last night. Not that I blame her. I keep replaying what I said over and over. It was callous and insensitive and if I wanted a cold shower to tamp down my attraction for her, I succeeded.
Austin’s Jeep pulls down my driveway, followed by Rome’s minivan. Never thought I’d see the day my buddy drove a dadmobil. Denver gets out of the back of Rome’s van and helps Calista jump out of the car. “Baby Shark” is playing on his cell phone.
Guess he decided to stay away from this place last night too.
They all make their way over to me.
“Harley has clients. You cool if I put on a movie for her in your family room?” Rome has a bag of food in one hand and Dion’s car seat in the other.
“Sure.” My guilt stops me from lecturing him about eating in my family room.
He disappears into the house, Calista chattering away with Denver as they follow Rome inside.
Austin slides a stool over, watching me work on the bike. “You going on a ride today?”
“Yeah.” I put the tools back and stand to open my fridge in the garage. I grab a water and offer Austin one.
“Sure,” he says.
I toss him one. “Looking forward to finally being able to take your honeymoon?” I don’t know why I’m making small talk when we both know why he’s here.
“I’m counting the days, trust me.”
I pick at the label of my water for a minute before I meet his gaze. “I’m sorry, Austin.”
My apology comes from a place of respect. I looked up to the guy for being the rock star baseball player in high school, but even more so after his parents died, and he returned home to raise his siblings instead of pursuing a career in baseball. I’m not naïve. I know my words to Savannah last night hurt all of the Baileys, because a little bit of each of them was buried the day their parents died.
“Thanks.” He cracks open the bottle of water. “We came here to talk.”
I nod. That was clear when the whole brigade showed up. They’ve talked amongst themselves before coming here to see me.
“She won’t give me the phone back,” Denver whines as he and Rome rejoin us.
“She will when she’s done,” Rome says. “I have about ten minutes.” He’s wearing Dion around his chest again.
“What’s Harley doing today?” Denver asks.
“I already said she’s working, dumbass.”
Denver sits on the counter attached to the one side of the garage wall.
“Listen, guys”—I raise my hand to cut them off at the pass—“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I did, and I regret it. I plan on apologizing to Savannah as soon as she comes home.”
Denver cringes. “She’s not coming back here. She’s moving in with Juno until her place is ready.”
My chin falls to my chest. I really blew this one. “Well then, I’ll apologize when she picks her stuff up.”
“She said she’d be sure to come by when you were working,” Rome says.
Fuck me.
“Listen, we know you didn’t mean it. That’s what we’re here to talk about.” Rome sways back and forth, patting Dion’s back, and it’s making me nauseous.
The thing is, I did mean it, I’m just sorry for the cruel way it came out. She was always neurotic and organized, but it’s to the extreme now. I rarely see her laugh and let loose and enjoy herself. Telling anyone in her family no is a real problem for her. I think they’re all so accustomed to it that they’re blind to the person she’s become. I never realized how much until Austin was going to leave for California a few years ago and leave the family and business in Savannah’s hands. The problem is that it’s not my place to tell them this.
“What exactly are you here to talk about then?” I ask.
“You and Savannah are toxic to one another,” Austin says before sipping his water. “We thought maybe you guys would work out whatever it is between you. We’d love for you to be our brother-in-law. Especially since we already see you as a brother. But after last night and based on what Denver’s told us… it’s probably best for everyone if you put her behind you.”
Rome and Denver nod.
“But…” The words die on my lips. My parents left me for Florida and the Baileys are the ones who have treated me like family most of my life. I can’t disobey their wishes. If they’re here like this, it’s because it matters.
“Sorry, man.” Denver pats me on the back as though I need consoling. “One of you will end up on Dateline for murdering the other if we don’t intervene.” He laughs.
I nod. “I like your sister.”
When I saw the pain on Savannah’s face after I lashed out, it was like the quick slice of a blade. Regret poured out of me, and now I’m questioning if it’s more than a night I need from her. If it is, I screwed myself royally.
The three of them look at one another as though they didn’t expect to hear me voice those words.
“Sometimes people aren’t good for one another. You’re laid-back and Savannah is high-strung. We thought you’d even her out, but you’re both bringing the worst out in each other.”
“That’s not totally true,” I murmur.
“You haven’t gone out with me in weeks,” Denver says. “Plus, the display at Lucky’s with that chick? Then you leave me to take her home so you can take care of Savannah?”
“So?”
“So that’s not you. You’re fun. Savannah’s not.”
“She was once.” And I keep trying to pull it out of her, but it’s hidden so far down that not even Google Maps can help me retrieve it.
But I keep those thoughts to myself. Looking at their skepticism, I can tell I see Savannah differently than they do.
“Listen, I don’t want to get into an argument. We tried to sit back and let this unfold, but now you’re both all over Buzz Wheel,” Austin says.
“On the upside, you have our thanks for taking the hot seat for a while.” Denver claps me on the back.
“We think you guys just need to admit that you’re not good for each other. If you both agree that nothing’s ever going to come of it, maybe you can be friends,” Austin says and downs some more water.
“Is this your polite way of telling me you’ll kick my ass if I date your sister?”
They all laugh and share a look between them.
“We’d never start a fight with you,” Austin says.
“You’re bigger than us,” Rome says.
“You’d kick our ass.” Denver laughs.
“But?” I wait for them to lay it out. Tell me what they want from me.
“We’d prefer for you and Savannah not to date. Yeah.” Austin leans back, crunching his now-empty plastic water bottle.
“Uncle Denver!” Calista yells from the other side of the door that leads into the house. Rome opens the door, and Calista waves Denver’s phone. “Uncle Denver, someone was calling your phone.”
Rome leans down and reads the screen. “‘Wednesday night girl.’ You actually put someone in as a contact under that?”
“Stop with the judgment, Daddy.” Denver takes the phone out of Calista’s hands.
“Who’s Wednesday night girl?” Calista asks.
“A friend,” he says.
“She likes ‘Baby Shark’ too.”
“You talked to her?” Denver asks.
Calista nods. “She called three times.”
We all laugh, though mine is hollow.
I thought I had this in the bag. I’d never been surer of anything in my life. When Savannah had to move in, I thought it was a sign, but I was wrong. The Bailey boys are right. I have to put my desire for Savannah in a box and lock it up tight.
Calista begs for “Baby Shark” again and entertains us with a dance when her uncle concedes. Having her there allows us to ignore the discomfort of them having to come here to politely ask me not to pursue their sister. I never want a visit like this again, so my hands are in the air, surrendering.
Savannah Bailey will never be mine.
Twelve
Savannah
I sit in Juno’s apartment in downtown Lake Starlight, drinking water from the faucet and eating the last of her pizza-flavored Pringles. “He’ll be at work tonight, and that’s when I’ll go over to get my stuff.”
“I’ll help, but can I just say one thing?” Juno gulps down a large amount of water. The girl is still dehydrated from being wasted off champagne last night.
“You’ve said enough.” And she has. Her pro-Liam speeches need to cease and desist.
“But—”
“He thinks just because we’re physically attracted to one another, it means something more than what it is. I can’t date Liam Kelly. We’re completely unsuited for each other.”
Juno’s forehead crinkles. “Why?”
She doesn’t get it. Juno was only twelve when our parents died. She was so wrapped up in herself, she never bothered to think about how it affected anyone but herself. I don’t blame her. We were all wrapped up in our feelings. That moment changed each of us in different ways. Juno told me once she thought it was romantic that Mom and Dad died together, that they never had to live without one another. I call bullshit.
But Austin and I swore that our siblings’ lives wouldn’t change any more than they had. I don’t regret that, but maybe I’m so mad at Liam because what he said, what he always says, about me is correct. He’s not content to let me live in the space I’ve created for myself. He demands I examine what I really want, who I really want to be.
None of my siblings thought that last night. No one said, “Now that Liam mentions it, Savannah, you have changed.” That’s what scares me the most. Do they think I want to be this way? This OCD person who, instead of drinking champagne and dancing with my niece at my sister’s wedding, is arguing with the deejay and making sure the cake cutting cutlery is where it should be and that the present table doesn’t topple over? They’ve accepted that I’m that person. I’ve become my mother without ever giving birth to my own children.
“It’s just not a good fit. There are other reasons too.”
“Name one.” Juno cocks an eyebrow at me.
“He’s younger than me.”
Juno guffaws as if that’s nothing. “Five years.”
“Has he even had a girlfriend before?”
“That Rachel girl. Remember?”
I do, but I play dumb. “Maybe.”
I straighten her magazines. She always tears out pages that interest her and they end up in a pile on the end table of her living room.
“Sometimes love exists in the place you never thought to look.” She shrugs.
I’d tell her to examine her own life, but I’m not going to throw stones.
A knock on the door interrupts us.
“Are you expecting anyone?” I ask. My stomach flips at the thought that it might be Liam.
She shakes her head. “Kingston said he probably wouldn’t be back for at least a month. I think last night, with him talking to Celeste about how Stella’s doing away from here…”
I nod and take a deep breath. Maybe I’m not the only messed up one in my family.
“Celeste mentioned that Stella might be coming home from school for a little while.” I stand and open the door to Grandma Dori with two suitcases in hand. “What are you doing here and why do you have luggage?”
“How about you let me in and, I don’t know, take my bags?”
I look over my shoulder at Juno.
“Grandma?” she says.
“Nursing a hangover, I suppose?” She doesn’t wait for an answer, plopping the bags down and pushing past me. “I need to stay with you for a while because I have termites at my place.”
I bring her bags into the apartment before shutting and locking the door. “Termites?”
“Yep. Can you take my suitcases to Kingston’s room and change the sheets? I’m not sleeping on those.”
“He rarely brings girls home,” Juno offers, not saying anything about how I was supposed to take Kingston’s room.
I clear my throat.
Juno looks at me. “Grandma, Savannah was going to sleep in there now.” But she bites her lip and shrugs as though to say, ‘I doubt this is going to change anything.’
“Why would you leave Liam’s? You’re already settled there. Plus, this is my excuse to teach Juno how to keep an orderly house.” Grandma Dori picks up the stack of torn-out magazine pages and heads toward the kitchen.
Juno flings the blanket off her lap and stands from the couch. “Grandma, what are you doing?” She watches in horror while Grandma Dori throws them in the trash can. “There were instructions on how to build a bookcase in there.”
Grandma Dori looks at me with a “yeah right” expression. “That’s sweet, Juno, but you were never going to finish it.”
“Thanks for the encouragement,” Juno mumbles, opening the trash and taking out the magazine pages. She opens a kitchen drawer to shove them in, but it’s filled to the max. So is drawer two. After going through three more, she opens her oven and throws them inside.
“Back to me taking Kingston’s room.” I return the conversation to the topic at hand.
Grandma Dori waves at me. “That’s ridiculous. I know you guys had a lovers’ quarrel last night, but you’ll get over it.”
“We’re not lovers.”
“You know what I mean. Liam is a part of this family, so you two need to make up and stop being so angry at one another.”
Just when I think she might understand what I’m going through.
She disappears into Kingston’s room. “Savannah, I thought you were going to change the sheets?”
I look at the two suitcases and back at Juno.
“Hey, I don’t want her here either,” Juno whisper-shouts.
“How did Kingston become a neat freak and not you, Juno?” Grandma Dori calls from down the hall.
Juno’s eyes bore into mine. I already straightened his room since I was taking it. The boy is not even close to a neat freak.
“Grandma…” I sigh and take her suitcases into the room. “I really think Liam and I need space. After last night, it’s not wise for us to live together. We probably shouldn’t have done it in the first place.”
She turns to look at me from where she’s digging through his drawers. If he only knew. Her shoulders fall and she sits on the bed, patting the spot next to her. I follow her order and sit.
“You two need to be friends. Liam understands you.” She lowers her voice. “Maybe better than me, though I don’t want to admit it.”
My forehead scrunc
hes. “He doesn’t know me. He thinks he does, but he doesn’t.”
“Hmm.” Grandma Dori rises and falls on the bed as though she’s testing the mattress.
“What are you doing?” Juno asks from where she’s leaning against the doorframe.
“I’m testing out the bedsprings.”
Juno stares at her. “Why?”
“Get your mind out of the gutter. I have a bad back.”
“Can we get back to the termites thing?” I ask, a little exasperated.
Do I want to live with Liam? Hell no, but it’s a better option than living with Grandma Dori. Poor Juno.
“How much clearer do I have to make it for you, dear?”
“Um. Is everyone out of the assisted living place or just you?” Juno asks.
“I guess the termites like me because it’s only me.”
Juno shakes her head and narrows her eyes at me. “Sav, I need a word.” Juno leaves the doorway.
“Be right back.”
“I’ll unpack,” Grandma Dori says, so I lift a suitcase onto the bed for her.
By the time I get to the kitchen, Juno’s pacing. “She can’t live here. This is all because you were going to live here. She’s ambushing me so you’ll continue to live with Liam.”
I nod. “Pretty much.”
“This is your problem. Tell her you’ll go back to Liam’s.”
I shake my head.
“Sav?”
“I’m not going back to Liam’s. I can take the couch. If I’m miserable, so are you.”
Juno huffs. “Why?”
I can’t even answer. Other times, I would’ve crumbled. Admitted defeat to Grandma Dori and said I’ll stick it out at Liam’s until my contractor fixes my house. But I’m a little pissed that none of my family cares that Liam was right last night. None of them took the time to examine what he said and see if there was any truth to it. No one said, “Oh yeah, Savannah used to want to have a few drinks, skydive, and travel the world. She didn’t want to be pseudo mom and run a company at the age of nineteen. I guess I see what Liam’s talking about.”
