“Well, it’s over now. It’s not like we’re ever going to do anything ever again. Not with Rosalie in the picture. Plus, he’s like my grandpa’s age. If I had a grandpa.”
“He’s not that much older,” James had said. “Whatever. You’re just looking for an excuse to not be happy because you don’t think you deserve it. I know this song and dance, Gia.”
I glared at him.
Just then, his perfect wife walked in and dried her hands on her pants before taking the baby from me with a smile.
“You guys hungry?”
50
It had been a long-ass week since Rosalie had left.
After having dinner with James, I’d spent the next three days alone.
On the fourth day, I dragged myself up and out of the house to the dojo.
Kato was on vacation to Canada with his family, so I worked out with his replacement. It was not satisfying. But I realized it was because I’d been looking for friendship, not a workout. I was lonely.
Darling was watching her grandbaby in the East Bay. When I tried to talk to her, we’d been interrupted by the baby howling. “Gotta go, Gia.”
Dante was busy with a special event at his restaurant.
I’d considered going up there but decided against it. He’d be too busy to socialize.
For a crazy second, I’d even considered calling Eva but for some reason felt embarrassed. What was I going to say to her: “Hi?”
Finally, I dialed Nico. It was eleven at night.
“Gia? Is everything okay?”
“Yes. Sorry. I just wanted to talk,” I said.
He was quiet for a few seconds. Then he cleared his throat.
“I’m too old for you.”
“What?” I was taken aback.
“You need someone who is young and whom you can have your own children with one day.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Gia,” he said, and his voice was so soft I cringed.
“We will always be a part of each other’s lives now. That is enough.”
“I don’t think it is,” I said. The words tumbled out before I realized it.
“It must be.”
I felt a lump in my throat. He was right. Our lives would never intertwine except for the brief periods each year when we got together for Rosalie’s sake.
“I wish it could be different,” I said, closing my eyes as I spoke. I was astonished that I could make myself this vulnerable in front of a man.
“Me, too,” he said. “We have…something special. It’s a chemistry, yes, but it’s deeper than that.”
“Yes,” I said. An inexplicable joy filled me, knowing he felt the same way I did. He knew it, too.
“In another life. In another time.”
I was openly crying now. It was the story of my life.
If only. In another life. In another time.
“Why don’t you come down here,” he said. “For a visit. I never got to show you all the wonders of my country.
I didn’t know what to say.
“Gia? Will you come? For a long weekend?”
“Yes. Yes, I’ll come.”
“I’ll send a car for you first thing in the morning.”
I smiled and hung up.
***
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