“The courthouse closes at five, so that gives us plenty of time to get ready. Alicia is taking me and you to the spa for the morning…”
I sipped my coffee, nodding along with the rest of her plans for the day. The excitement on her face and filling her voice told me she really didn’t care about all the other wedding stuff. Kassa had been all about the bachelorette party when we’d spent a weekend in Vegas for Lucy’s. I’d planned some pretty kick-ass things for us to do, and Kassa had asked me to do something similar for her own party. Yet that didn’t even seem to be on her mind as she ticked off her list of what she expected of the day.
Jace and Gray were going to the gym for the morning. Considering that was Gray’s favorite place in the world when he wasn’t with Kassa, I figured that was plenty of excitement for him. His sand-colored eyes watched her talking animatedly, love flooding out of them as he smiled whenever she looked at him like he hung the moon. To her, he probably did.
With the day’s activities all mapped out, I went upstairs to take a shower. Since my things were still in Kassa’s old room, I used her bathroom to shower and get ready. We were coming back after the spa to get dressed for the civil ceremony planned for three, so I pulled on jeans and a T-shirt, leaving my hair down since it would get styled at the spa later.
Tossing everything back into my case, I turned to leave the room just as there was a knock on the door. Frowning, I opened the door to find Alicia standing hesitantly on the other side.
Licking her lips nervously, she gave me a small smile. “Do you have a minute, sweetheart? I would like to speak to you for a moment.”
Concerned, I stepped back. “Sure. Come in.” She walked in, and I closed the door. “Are you okay?”
“Just a bit of a headache, but it’s not nearly as bad as these things tend to get.” She clasped her hands together in front of her, glancing around the room for a moment before finally turning to face me. “So, you and Jace are back together? You worked everything out?”
The hopefulness in her voice made my heart squeeze. “We’re back together, but I’m not sure we have everything figured out yet. I’m hoping we can sort it out as we go.”
“Well, I’m glad you two are on the right track. It was hard watching him miss you so much.” She pressed her lips together, growing quiet again.
I crossed to her, grasping her hands and giving them a reassuring squeeze. “Alicia, I know things are crazy for you right now. I, more than anyone, know how stressful being sick is when you want to be strong for everyone else. But you should really consider telling Kassa and Gray what is going on. You think you’re doing them a favor by not putting this stress off on them, but if something does happen, you’re only going to hurt them more.”
She swallowed hard. “I know, Kin. Really, I do. But I just can’t do that to them. Not yet, anyway. I have a solution for getting Jace to agree to go back to California and going on his winter tour without having to worry about me.”
“What is it?”
“I’m quitting my job. The people of Bristol won’t be too happy knowing their district attorney is making important decisions when she has a brain tumor, so I’m resigning.” I couldn’t keep the surprise off my face. Sure Jace, Kassa, and Gray were her babies, but her job had always been her life. I hadn’t expected her to give that up even if she was so sick. “And I’m going to hire a nurse. Someone to come in every day to clean and cook a little, as well as help out with my medical needs.”
“That…” I stopped when my voice cracked, and I tried again. “That is a good start. I know it will help him relax, knowing someone is looking after you.”
“Actually, I was hoping you could assist me with finding someone. I remember when your mom first got sick, she and Carter hired someone to help them out. Do you remember which service they went through?”
“I don’t, I’m sorry, but I can talk to Carter. He could help you set all of that up.”
She lowered her gaze to the floor, pink filling her cheeks. “Would you do that for me?”
I hugged her. “I will do anything I possibly can to make this easier on you. All you have to do is say the word. And yes, I’ll call Carter this evening, if that’s okay? He’s out of town for work this week, but he should be free by dinnertime.”
She nodded, blinking back tears. “I really appreciate this, Kin. And I’m so glad you and Jace are back together.”
Behind me, the door opened, and I knew without looking it was Jace. The door shut as soon as he saw us and then his arms were wrapping around Alicia and me. “What are you two doing?” he demanded in a quiet voice.
I leaned back against him, soaking up his warmth. “We were just talking about getting Alicia a home health nurse or something close to that. And…” I squeezed Alicia’s arm, encouraging her to tell him what she told me.
“And,” she said, “I’m resigning from my job.”
“Really?” He sounded skeptical, but when I looked up at him, he seemed relieved.
“Yes,” she said with a tiny smile. “It’s better for everyone if I’m not making life-altering decisions for anyone.”
“True. But I still wasn’t expecting you to give up your career. Hell, Alicia, you never really had to work, but you devoted your life to that job.”
“I needed something to fill my time while you kids were at school,” she grumbled.
“You’re really going to get a nurse?” She nodded. “Good. When are you going to tell Kas and Gray?”
“Don’t push me on this, Jace,” she warned. “I’ll tell them after I find out if the chemo is going to work or not. Okay?”
His shoulders drooped, but he nodded. “Yeah, okay.”
I wrapped my arms around his waist. “She knows what she’s doing, Jace. Let her do this her way.”
His fingers contracted in the material of my shirt. “Okay,” he groused. “You two better hurry, I guess. Kassa is already downstairs waiting with Gray.”
Alicia made a quick exit, seeming relieved to be out of the room and away from the current conversation. I lingered, wanting a few minutes alone with Jace before I had to leave.
His lips found my neck, his hands falling to my ass and squeezing. “Last night was amazing,” he murmured close to my ear. “Are you okay today? You were walking a little slow downstairs.”
A content smile lifted my lips. “I just had to use muscles that haven’t gotten a workout in like five months, so I’m a little sore today. But it’s a good kind of sore.”
“I’m glad they haven’t had a good workout, baby. Fuck, I was scared you moved on.” He pressed his forehead against mine. “Especially with that Derrick asshole.”
I snickered at that. “That is definitely never going to happen. Even if Derrick doesn’t actually become my uncle, he’s gotten in over his head with someone else.”
“I don’t care as long as he keeps his hands off you.” He kissed me, long and deep, before reluctantly lifting his head. “You better go before I throw your beautiful ass on the bed and keep you there the rest of the day.”
I fell weakly against him, my legs shaky from the power of his kiss. “Why is that a bad thing?”
He hugged me close for a second then stepped back. “My baby sister is getting married today, babe. She needs you to go with her and do all the prewedding ritual things.” He winked. “And then we can spend the rest of tonight just like we spent last night.”
“Promise?” I asked, pouting.
“I promise.” With a groan, he kissed me again then pushed me toward the door. “Go, before Kassa comes up here looking for you.”
The rest of the day was spent being pampered. The three of us had massages and facials before getting our nails and hair done. By the time we got back to the house to change, it was already two-thirty, and Jace kept texting Kassa and me to find out where we were.
I had a baby-blue dress that hit my knees and some nude flats to go with it. Alicia coordinated with a pantsuit t
hat matched in color and tan heels. We didn’t look like we were going to a wedding, but Kassa was happy with our outfits when she walked downstairs.
The sleeveless, cream-colored maxi dress she wore could have easily passed for a wedding dress. The keyhole cut in the front gave a small flash of cleavage while still being classy. Paired with strappy gold heels and her hair pulled up into a chic twist, she looked gorgeous.
Alicia was crying before Kassa even got to the bottom of the stairs. “Oh, my sweet girl. You’re so beautiful.”
Beaming, Kassa hugged her. “So I look okay? Do you think Gray will like this?”
“I know he will,” I assured her, more than a little choked up myself. “He won’t be able to take his eyes off you, Kas.”
“Let’s go.” She was practically dancing with excitement. “I can’t wait to become Mrs. Grayson Knight.”
Alicia looked like her head was hurting more, so I offered to drive us in my rental. Gray had made a few calls that morning before we left, and Alicia had asked one of the judges she knew to officiate. The guys were already waiting in Judge Welsh’s office when we arrived, and I stuck my head in to get Jace. It might not be a traditional wedding, but Jace was going to walk his sister down the aisle regardless.
As he came out to join us, Gray handed him a bouquet of flowers. “Give this to her,” he instructed his soon-to-be brother-in-law. “And tell her I love her.”
Jace nodded as he came out of the office. His blue eyes widened when he got a look at his sister after she took off her coat. “I thought you said you didn’t have a wedding dress,” he choked out, his eyes taking all of her in.
She shrugged. “It’s not one. Just a maxi I found a few weeks ago while I was shopping with Santana. Do you like it?” She twirled around, letting him see the laced back. “Do I look okay?”
“You’re beautiful, little sis.” He bent and kissed her cheek, then handed over the bouquet of white and pink roses. “Gray picked these out for you, and he said to tell you he loves you. He’s sweating bullets, by the way. I think he’s worried you might bail on him.”
She snorted. “Yeah, as if that is likely to happen.” Lifting the roses to her nose, she inhaled, a smile playing at her lips. “Oh my God, this is really happening,” she whisper-shouted. “I’m getting married.”
Alicia patted her on the arm. “Yes, sweetheart. Now, are you ready? Can we go in now?”
“More than ready.”
Laughing, I opened the door and let Alicia walk in ahead of me. I followed her to the judge’s desk, where the thin man with salt-and-pepper hair came forward and shook her hand. “Thanks for doing this, Harold. It means so much to me to have you officiating.”
“It’s my honor, Alicia. I’ve seen these two grow up. I’m happy to be the one to join them in matrimony.” He glanced behind us and saw Jace standing at the door, but Kassa remained out of sight. “Are we ready?”
Jace gave a nod, and Gray wiped his hands nervously on his slacks. I moved to stand beside him, giving his arm a pat as I took my place in front of the desk. He relaxed slightly at my touch, as if he’d needed someone to ground him. I took a closer look at him, realizing he wasn’t the same Gray I used to know. In the past, he’d always been a selfish asshole, only really caring about one other person in his life.
Now, he was still an asshole, and at times still selfish, but he’d grown a lot since getting with Kassa. He wasn’t as big a prick as he used to be, and yeah, there were times I still wanted to slap him upside the head, but he wasn’t nearly as annoying as he used to be.
My eyes were still on him when Jace and Kassa finally stepped into the room, so I knew exactly when his gaze landed on his bride. His chin trembled, and he sucked in a deep breath as his hands came up to scrub over his face, wiping away the tears that instantly filled his eyes and spilled onto his cheeks.
Seeing his reaction had tears welling up in my own eyes, and I turned to watch Kassa walking toward him, her arm through her brother’s. Her tears were like diamonds as they fell from her lashes and onto her cheeks, and I saw her mouth “I love you” to him seconds before she reached him.
The whole ceremony took less than fifteen minutes, and then Jace and I were signing our names at the bottom of the license as witnesses, while Gray continued to kiss his wife.
Alicia cleared her throat, attempting to remind them there were others still in the room. “Gray,” she hissed when he didn’t even flinch. “Let the girl breathe.”
While Judge Welsh chuckled and Alicia blushed like she’d never been kissed the way her nephew was kissing Kassa, Jace turned me to face him. Before he opened his mouth, I was shaking my head. “No. This is definitely not the right time.”
His face fell, but he bent his head to kiss me. “I’m not giving up. You’ll say yes someday.”
I bit my lip to keep from saying anything. I lost count of how many times he’d asked me to marry him now, and even though a part of me wanted to scream Yes and jump into his arms, I couldn’t help but hold myself back.
Yes, we were back together.
Yes, I loved him more than life itself.
Yes, I wanted to marry him.
But no, I couldn’t give him the answer he wanted to hear.
I wasn’t ready. I didn’t know when I would be and, if I were truly honest with myself, if I ever would be. Part of me was still broken, and I was afraid he would demolish what was left of me if I gave him too much of myself again.
Chapter 25
Kin
Gray and Kassa left for their honeymoon, deciding to spend the next few weeks before the winter tour in Hawaii and then going on to Paris for a little while. Alicia seemed relieved they were gone, because she didn’t have to hide how sick she was with them out of the house.
Over those five weeks, I took care of finding Alicia a live-in nurse. Carter even flew back a few days early from his business trip to help us vet the nurses the home health service sent. He was still there when Jace and I finally went back to California, saying he wanted to keep Alicia company when she went for her next chemo treatment.
My album was still in the production phase, and I had things that needed my attention. Jace came with me, and he seemed mostly content to leave Alicia in the nurse’s capable hands, as well as my stepfather’s.
“Come home with me,” Jace pleaded as we stepped out of the airport, waiting in line for a cab.
I was tired and, more than anything, I just wanted to sleep in the same bed with him. His place would be completely empty, whereas mine would be filled with Riley and Nate, maybe even Amara and Cash if they weren’t at Cash’s place.
Leaning into him, I nodded. “Okay.”
His eyes flashed with triumph, and I sighed, knowing what was going to come next. But just as I wasn’t ready to say yes to marrying him, I was no more ready to move in with him. It was something I’d wanted before our breakup, but now, it didn’t feel right. Not yet.
I needed time to learn to trust him again, I guess.
Still, I wanted him all to myself, along a few hours of sleep, so I didn’t say anything as we rode back to his apartment.
Sleep, however, was the last thing on his mind, and as soon as we walked through the door, he was lifting me into his arms and carrying me into his room. Bypassing the bed, he carried me straight to the shower, and the moment my feet were on the floor, he was stripping me.
“Fuck, I can’t get enough of you, baby. I’m starving for you, and we just made love before we left this morning.” His lips were on my neck even as his hands were unfastening my jeans and pushing them roughly off my ass. “I can’t wait to get inside you,” he groaned, cupping my pussy. “So wet for me.”
I whimpered as he thrust two fingers deep into me, my back arching as my hips rocked against his hand. With his other hand, he turned on the shower, barely paying attention to the temperature of the water as he focused on driving my body higher.
“Jace. Forget the shower,
” I whined, cupping his face and pulling him in for a kiss. “I need you. Now.”
“Soon, babe.” He stepped back enough to pull off his shirt and push his jeans and boxers down his legs, showing me just how badly he wanted me. Kicking off the clothes, he took hold of my hips and walked me backward into the shower.
The spray of the hot jets on my back felt amazing, but not nearly as good as when he dropped to his knees and started tonguing my clit. Lifting one of my legs over his shoulder, he licked down to my opening and dived into my center. “Ah,” I cried, fisting my fingers in his hair. “Shit, that feels so damn good.”
He pushed me higher until I was panting, begging him to finish me off. Then he was on his feet, lifting me higher by the hips so I could slide down onto his rock-hard cock. He thrust deep into me, stretching my inner walls to mold around his thickness. I wrapped my legs around his waist, trapping him in place so I could savor the fullness as he buried his face between my tits.
“I love you so much, Kin,” he groaned, pumping his hips into me. “I want to spend the rest of my life right here, deep inside your tight body.”
“Then do it,” I pleaded, lost in how much I wanted him. “Don’t stop fucking me. Just stay right here, pounding me until we both die from the pleasure.”
His thumb found my clit, and I saw stars. “Come for me,” he commanded, his voice raspy in my ear. “Let me feel it, baby.”
I didn’t want it to end, but I couldn’t hold back. My thighs began to tremble from the force of the orgasm that hit me so hard, I screamed.
The water was still running over us when we both caught our breath sometime later. My legs shook slightly as he helped me stand, then washed me from head to toe. I leaned weakly against him as he washed himself then helped me out of the shower.
I had zero energy, and he had to dry me before carrying me to bed. I was asleep before my head even hit the pillow.
Tainted Forever Page 19
