by Ellie Wade
“When?”
“When you went to the bathroom. She thought it was sweet and sent me the link.”
I hug the sweater to my chest. “Um, it is sweet. Thank you. I love it. I’m going to wear it to your parents’ today.”
Not able to wait any longer to give him his main gift, I hand him the large box.
“Wow, Quinn.” He stares at the gift. “This is incredible.”
I clasp my hand together in front of my chest and grin contently. “I’m so glad you like it!”
He opens the box and pulls out the black helmet. “This is too much.”
“Please.” I scoff. “So I did a lot of research, and apparently, this one is the best of the best. I read all the reviews and the studies done on it. It’s the safest rated helmet I could find. It has a dual-layer liner that absorbs shock better than any other helmet on the market. Plus, it has two upper air intake vents to keep you cool even when it’s super hot out. The lens is fog-resistant, and it’s just really cute.”
“I wouldn’t say cute.”
“Fine, sexy.”
“Okay.” He chuckles. “I can do sexy.”
“Yes, you can.” I lift a brow.
“Come here.” Ollie pulls me onto his lap, kissing me. “Thank you, Quinn.”
“You’re welcome,” I say, thrilled that my gift went over so well.
Ollie reaches toward the tree and pulls out a small package. “I have one more for you.”
“Ooo, little ones are always the best.” I rip the silver wrapping from the package, and a Tiffany blue box greets me. Inside is a silver necklace with a single star hanging from it. It’s simple and beautiful, something I could wear every day. Ollie knows how much I love the stars. We’ve spent several nights lying beneath them as I’ve talked his ear off retelling of the stories that live in the stars and constellations. “It’s perfect,” I say quietly, emotion lining my voice. “Absolutely perfect.”
“Quinn! It’s so lovely to finally meet you.” Ollie’s mother, Christine, pulls me into a hug. “I can’t tell you how much I’ve been looking forward to today.”
“It’s so nice to meet you.” I immediately love Ollie’s mom. She’s one of those people you can tell is good, sweet, and kind—the type of person who would do anything for anyone.
I greet Ollie’s dad, and he seems cool, too. He’s much quieter than Christine but nice.
Mr. Hale takes the gifts we brought to the living room while Ollie and I follow his mom into the kitchen.
“I know it’s past breakfast, but I hope you brought your appetites. I thought we could sneak in breakfast, or we’ll call it brunch before our main meal.” She pulls a big ceramic dish from the oven and places it atop a hot pad on the table. “So,” she addresses me, “this is a maple, pecan French toast bake that I made for Ollie every single Christmas morning.”
I eye Ollie. He looks at me, his lips pressed into a grin.
“It looks amazing,” I exclaim, unable to tell her I already had it a few hours ago. “I can’t wait to try it.”
“Quinn loves to eat,” Ollie says to his mother.
“Oh, good! Me too. I love to cook as well. It makes me feel good serving others. You know?” Christine says.
“Well, that bit of you has definitely rubbed off on your son. He cooks for me every day, and breakfast is his specialty.”
She places a hand to her heart. “I love to hear that. Breakfast has always been my favorite meal, too.”
“Apparently, Quinn is a good cook, too, Mom. I just haven’t seen it yet,” he teases.
“Hey!” I protest, filling my glass with orange juice. “I can cook,” I tell his mom, taking another bite of the French toast bake. It’s just as good as Ollie’s from earlier. “My mother made sure all of her girls could. I just never get the opportunity because this one”—I hitch my thumb toward Ollie—“always beats me to the punch. He spoils me.”
“That warms my heart, truly. I always knew Ollie would be a great provider. I had my doubts that I’d ever see it. I mean, he’s been a grown man for a long time, yet you’re the first girl he’s ever brought to meet us. I was beginning to lose hope.”
“Mom,” Ollie chastises. Lifting his hands, he rubs his temples.
“I’m not trying to be mean. I’m just saying he’s our only boy, and I was starting to worry if I’d ever get to see him happy and settled down…and maybe with a family.” She puts emphasis on the last word.
I press my lips together to stifle a laugh.
“Mother.” Ollie’s voice is monotone, unamused. “We haven’t been dating long. Let’s just turn the heat down on this pressure cooker. You don’t want to scare Quinn away when you’re just meeting her. Yeah?”
She raises her hands in surrender. “You’re right. I’m sorry. You know that I worry is all. I want you to be happy.”
“I am,” he reassures her. “Let’s just enjoy the day without planning out our entire future.”
“Okay. Okay,” she agrees.
We chat over the déjà vu breakfast casserole. Christine is hilarious and makes me feel completely comfortable. Someday when our mothers meet, they’re going to love each other. Thank God Ollie’s parents are cool. I mean, I’d love him regardless, but it’s a bonus that his parents are so nice. I’ve had many friends divulge horrible in-law stories, so I’m grateful that I’ll never be in that situation.
Ollie leaves me in the kitchen with his mother. His dad needs help hanging a new shelf that he got Christine for Christmas.
I wash the glasses we used for brunch.
“Oh, honey. I can do these later,” Christine says.
“I don’t mind,” I tell her. “Plus, you cooked, so we clean. That’s the rule, right?”
“Not usually in this house.” She chuckles. “But I won’t argue with that logic.”
I put the last glass on the rack and turn to Christine. “I just want you to know that Ollie may not be ready to admit it quite yet, but he and I are forever. Someday, we’ll be married with children, and I promise I’ll cherish him every day for the rest of my life. No one will ever love him as much as I do. I know he’ll be happy.”
Tears fill Christine’s eyes. “I don’t doubt it for a second. And he already is—happy—maybe truly for the first time in his adult life, and we have you to thank for that.”
She pulls me into a hug. “Thank you for loving my boy. You are this momma’s wish come true.”
I hug her back.
“Well…he’s mine.”
Chapter 34
Ollie
Everything about Quinn is so soft—her hair, her skin. Do all women have such silky skin, or is it unique to her? I’ve never stopped to think about it, truthfully. I’ve never held a woman while she slept just to run my fingertips across the silky softness of her body and admire its qualities.
I hardly recognize myself anymore. I’m definitely not the person I was a year ago.
I’m in love.
I guess love changes shit. It has for me.
I was slow to buy into the whole happily-ever-after philosophy. I suppose I was just waiting for her. The one. My one.
Marriage and kids were never on my radar. Until now.
Now, I want it all, as long as it’s with her. I love our life together. It’s like I’ve been taking shallow breaths for my entire existence…just getting by. But with her, I can finally breathe.
Deep.
Full.
Life-sustaining breaths and it feels so good.
It’s crazy that a year ago, we were at Love’s third birthday party practically eye-fucking awkwardly across the table. Is eye-fucking a thing? Anyway, it was weird, and now it’s not. Tomorrow is Love’s fourth birthday party, and I’ll be walking into the party hand in hand with Quinn. No awkwardness. Just us, together, as we should be.
Life is brilliant.
Slowly, I pull my arm out from beneath Quinn, careful not to wake her, and roll out of bed. I put on some boxers before sneaking out of the bedr
oom and closing the door quietly behind me. I’ve always been a morning person while Quinn is not. It works out, though, and gives me time to make breakfast.
Before I do anything, I feed Saki. She’s been my first priority every morning for twenty-one years. Normally, she’s rubbing against my ankle and purring loudly the moment I emerge from bed.
“Saki girl,” I call out as I dish the can of wet food into her bowl.
I toss the empty can into the recycle bin, dropping my gaze to where the bowl sits, full with food, without a purring three-legged cat devouring every piece. Something’s wrong.
“Saki,” I say again.
Scanning the space, I make my way to the living room. If she’s not at the foot of my bed, I can always find her in the oversized chair next to the sofa.
She’s there. Curled into her sleeping position. Motionless.
“No.” The word comes out with a gasp.
Hesitantly, I reach down to feel her. She’s cold and firm…and gone.
Clutching my stomach, I step back until the wall of the living room halts my descent. Hunching over, choking down a sob, I slide to the floor.
I pull my legs in, and my forehead falls to my knees. The tears come. There’s no stopping them. She was twenty-one, which is longer than most cats get to live, and she had a happy life, but it doesn’t change how much her loss hurts. The ache in my chest is unlike anything I’ve ever felt. It’s debilitating.
I haven’t known a day in my entire adult life without her. She’s been by my side through it all. Loyal and loving. She loved me when I didn’t love myself. She loved me when my parents were ashamed to look at me. She’s seen me at my worst, my best, and every moment between…and loved me through it all. Animals are like that. Their love is unconditional. It’s why their loss is so grave.
She saved me, my Saki girl. She will hold a special place in my heart forever.
“Babe,” Quinn calls for me. “What are you…?” Her voice trails off when she sees me. “Oh my gosh. What happened?”
I lift my face and look up at her. “Saki’s gone.”
“Oh no.” She falls to her knees beside me. Wrapping her arms around my back, she cries with me. “I’m so sorry.”
I nod. “Me, too.”
Today sucked. For starting out with so much promise, it fell downhill fast. I made a casket for Saki, wrapped her in her favorite blanket and held a funeral for her. It was just me, Quinn, and Clem, and really wasn’t much of a service just a couple of words and some tears.
The house is quiet without her. She always had a larger-than-life personality, and her absence has left a gaping hole in my life. It will get easier over time, but right now, it just sucks. There’s no denying it.
Quinn’s been shooting worried stares my way all day while walking on eggshells around me. I can’t really blame her, given that the last time something traumatic happened—and Clem checking herself into a rehab facility isn’t even that traumatic—I lost it. I pushed her away and had an early midlife crisis. Things are different now. Just as Quinn said, I want to hold on to her during the rough patches. Together is the only way I want to be. I’m done going through life alone.
Reruns of The Office play on the TV, but neither one of us is really watching. I turn from the television to find Quinn looking at me with concern. She quickly twists back toward the show.
“Quinn.” I can’t help but smile. “Look at me.”
She does.
“I’m okay. I promise.” I squeeze her knee.
“Are you sure? You don’t have to be. I’m just scared for you.”
“I’m sad. I miss her. But you and I are good. Okay?” I reassure the doubts I know she’s feeling.
She releases a breath, relief visible on her face. “Okay.” She smiles and scoots in closer to me, leaning her head on my arm. “I love you.”
“I love you, too, babe.”
After a while, Quinn says, “You gave her a great life.”
“Yeah. She was happy.”
“She lived such a long time and was healthy her whole life.” Quinn threads her fingers through mine and squeezes my hand.
“That’s a blessing really. You know? That she went in her sleep and wasn’t sick and had only good years.”
“It is,” Quinn agrees.
“It’s just going to be hard for a while. I barely remember a life without her. She’s been with me through everything. She was the best therapist I ever had.” I release a chuckle, thinking about how much I’ve said for Saki’s ears only over the years.
“Animals are special that way. I’m so glad you had her.”
“Yeah. I know it sounds silly, but a part of me feels like she lived so long because she was waiting for me to find happiness. She was waiting for me to start a life with you.”
Quinn drapes her arm over my chest, pulling me into a hug. “I don’t think that sounds silly at all.”
Chapter 35
Quinn
“We are family!” I sing at the top of my lungs.
Alma stands at my side, the most gorgeous bride I’ve ever seen, her arm wrapped around my back. I hold Love against my waist as Cat stands on the other side of me, her hold connects me to the circle of women.
Alma’s mother Lee-Anne, some friends from The Lair, and even Amos’s mother joins the circle as we belt out the lyrics to Sister’s Sledge’s “We are Family.”
“I got all my sisters with me!” I bounce Love against my hip, and she laughs in her cute, little four-year-old giggly way that turns my heart to mush every time. I just adore her.
Weddings are the best. I’ve always loved them, but this one takes the cake.
Alma and Amos borrowed this gorgeous home of almost mansion proportions on Lake Michigan. We’ve spent the past several days hanging out, eating delicious food, being pampered, and laughing until our sides ached. It’s been so special. The whole thing has been a true experience that I’ll never forget.
One of the greatest parts was being able to stand up as the maid of honor for my best friend. I wasn’t in attendance at Alma’s first wedding. No one was except the officiant and photographer. She and Leo were so in love and cocooned in their love bubble that they wanted it to be just them. I mean, I get it. I feel that way about Ollie. Someday, I hope to marry, and I know I’ll be tempted to run away with him and get married without all the fanfare, but I won’t. I want my favorite people in the world with me when I promise my eternal, unconditional love to Ollie. It just seems more special that way.
Today was that—special. The backdrop of the Caribbean blue waters of Lake Michigan and the gentle breeze and waves made it simply breathtaking.
My absolute favorite part was seeing Alma utterly happy and at peace, finally. She, Amos, and Love make a beautiful family of three of the most amazing people I know.
The song ends, and I guide Love to the floor. Her princess tulle skirt flies out like a parachute as she nears the ground.
Lee-Anne approaches Alma. “It’s getting late. I think I’m going to call it a night. I’ll get Love tucked in and settled in my room.”
“Okay, thanks, Mom.” Alma hugs Lee-Anne, and then she and Amos bend down to shower Love with affection.
I look around and find Ollie chatting with Ethan by the bar. Ethan holds a bottle of beer in his grasp while Ollie holds what I know to be a club soda. It’s his go-to nonalcoholic drink for social situations.
The first few notes of Elvis’s “Can’t Help Falling in Love” play.
I extend my hand toward Ollie. “I love this song.”
He excuses himself from Ethan and takes my hand in his. We walk a few steps to the dance floor on the huge deck overlooking the water.
Circling my arms around his neck, I lean against his chest. He holds me close and kisses the top of my head.
There have been no issues since we got back together on my birthday over six months ago. Every day with Ollie has been incredible. He’s had some setbacks with a couple of people in NA and a big emotiona
l blow with the loss of Saki, but it hasn’t changed our relationship. It’s only made us stronger.
I no longer live in fear that some tragedy is going to steal him from me. Going into this relationship with Ollie, with Leo as my only frame of reference, I was terrified of a relapse but learned quickly that wasn’t the demon that ever had a chance of taking him from me. Instead, I realized that all the things I love about Ollie—his mind, heart, and compassion—were the same things that had the power to force him away. He cares so deeply about those in his life and carries misplaced guilt when things go wrong. He’s been punishing himself for things that were never his fault. He finally sees that and has worked to change his response.
He’s finally putting his, and by extension—my—happiness first.
I know, deep in my soul, that he’s my forever.
Perhaps, I’ve always known.
“Did you have a good day?” he asks.
I lift my face from his chest and stare up into his beautiful blues. “The best. You?”
“Yeah. It was wonderful.” He pauses. “I felt him here today.”
“Who? Leo?”
Ollie dips his chin. “Yeah, I know it sounds weird, but I did. You know the feeling you get when someone is staring at you, and you look around, and sure enough, someone is? It was like that. But it was him that I felt, and he was happy.”
“I believe it. I think he’s happy and free, wherever he is, and I think he wants his family on earth to be happy. I mean, that’s what true love is. Right? Loving someone so much that their happiness is the most important thing to you?”
“Yeah. He did love her above all else.”
“He sure did, and he loved you, too.” I smile up at Ollie.
“Well, then he’ll be pleased to know that I’m good.”
“Yes, you are.” I press my lips against his.
A couple more slow songs play, the telltale sign that the night is winding down. Alma and Amos retreat to the master bedroom, their own little honeymoon suite.
“Are you tired?” Ollie asks me.
