by Aimee Carter
“That’s my girl,” she said, sounding happier than she had in ages.
We spent our last Christmas together eating ice cream and wandering through the gardens in the hot summer sun, and she pointed out the kinds of flowers that grew wild. She never took her arm from my shoulders, and when I felt myself begin to wake up, I wished her Merry Christmas for the last time.
My contentment didn’t last for long, however. The first thing I heard when I awoke was pounding on my door. Confused, I sat up, my hair sticking out every which way, and I ran my fingers through it as Henry stood and walked toward the door.
In that moment, I hated him. He looked impeccable, not a hair out of place, and he moved as gracefully as ever. Meanwhile, I’d be paying for sleeping on the floor for the rest of the day.
“Yes?” he said, opening the door. To my surprise, Ella dashed in, closely followed by Calliope. Ella was crying, her face beet-red, and Calliope looked crushed with her slumped shoulders and her face drawn.
“I want her gone!” cried Ella furiously, looking back and forth between Henry and me.
“Is that a request,” said Henry, moving back toward the nest of pillows and blankets on the floor, “or a demand?”
“She hurt him!” said Ella, now focusing on Henry. “She hurt him, and he tried to find her, and now—”
“Wait, who?” I said as I struggled to my feet. “What’s going on?”
Ella dissolved into tears. Now standing next to me, Henry looked expectantly at Calliope. She stared at the floor, not meeting his gaze.
“Ava,” she said. “She spent the night with Xander, and this morning Theo found them. They fought, and—”
Henry tensed, and my blood ran cold. “And?” he said.
“Xander’s passed into the beyond.”
CHAPTER 14
JUDGMENT
Ava sat huddled in the corner of her chamber without so much as a scratch, but on the bed, bloody remains were all that was left of Xander’s body. A putrid stench filled the room, and I clasped my hand over my nose, but it didn’t seem to bother Henry as he examined the corpse.
Ella and Calliope didn’t come with us, opting instead to stay in a separate wing of the manor with Theo. He was injured, but it wasn’t fatal, from what Calliope had described. Seeing him could wait.
Apparently for the people living in Eden Manor, passing into the beyond was the same as death in the outside world. It was as much an ending for them as it was for the living, never getting to see their loved ones again until they passed into the beyond as well. Xander was gone, lost to the Underworld, and the only person who could find him now was Henry. I struggled with the knowledge that this wasn’t the real end of things, that I could lose Ava all over again, along with everyone I’d befriended since September, and this time they wouldn’t reappear. This death was the final step for the people at Eden Manor; this time there would be no in-between for Xander. Despite the painful void Xander’s loss left in the manor, I took a small amount of comfort from knowing that this place was still part of the world I understood. A knife to the back meant blood, and too much blood meant death.
“Ava?” I said as I approached her. She looked like a frightened animal, ready to bolt at the slightest movement.
“I didn’t mean it,” she whispered, tears streaming down her face. There were smears of blood underneath her eyes, where she must have wiped her cheeks. “I—I thought he didn’t want to see me again, and Xander was right there, and I—”
“It’s all right,” I said, although it was anything but. I was queasy and barely able to keep from being sick at the sight of all the carnage, but I turned away from it, focusing on Ava. “We should get you cleaned up.”
I helped her to the bathroom while Henry continued his inspection. Once I was sure she wasn’t going to pass out, I found her a robe to wear and busied myself with washing the blood off her skin and out of her hair. We were both quiet. I didn’t want to know the details, and she was too shaken to say anything. By the time she was dry, I poked my head back in the bedroom, averting my eyes from the horrific scene on the bed.
“What do you want me to do with her?” I said.
Henry hadn’t moved since I’d left. “The guards will escort her to another room, where she will stay until we have decided if she deserves punishment.”
I paled. “Is this—is this another test?”
He was by my side in an instant, faster than anyone could possibly move. “No,” he said. “Xander has passed. Now come— Ava will be taken care of.”
Shielding me from having to look at Xander’s body, Henry led me toward the door. As we left, a woman dressed in a uniform entered, but I hardly noticed her.
“Where are we going?” I said, breathing in a lungful of clean air once we reached the hallway.
“To see Theo.” He guided me around the corner, and I followed without protest. My stomach lurched with the thought of what condition Theo might have been in, but I refused to think about it. For all I knew, he was fine.
But the moment we stepped into his chamber, it was obvious he was anything but. Ella stood at her brother’s bedside, her face drawn and her hands trembling. When Henry and I entered, she glared at me, and I stopped a foot into the doorway.
“How is he?” said Henry, standing at the end of Theo’s bed. He was unconscious.
“There’s a shallow wound in his chest that worries me, but everything else is superficial. He’s lost a lot of blood though,” said Ella, her voice rough.
“Will he wake up soon?” There was no compassion or worry in Henry’s voice. Instead it was hollow, and that emptiness scared me more than anything else had that morning.
Ella shook her head. “I don’t know.”
“Will he be able to handle the pain if I wake him up?”
Both of us stared at him. I searched for any trace of the Henry I’d kissed the night before, but he was no longer there. A very large part of me was relieved; this cold shell wasn’t someone I wanted to fall for. But another part wondered which one was really him.
“Y-yes,” said Ella, averting her gaze after several seconds. “He’ll manage.”
Even I could hear the uncertainty in her voice, but apparently that was all the confirmation Henry needed. He let go of my hand and took a step closer to the bed, towering over it.
A moment later, without any pretense or sign that something had changed, Theo groaned. His eyes were so swollen he could barely crack them open, and he coughed weakly. There was a rattling sound in his chest that made me wince.
“What happened?” said Henry coolly.
Theo struggled to reply, opening and shutting his mouth several times. “Ava?”
“She’s gone,” said in Ella with a surprisingly tender voice. “You’ll never have to see her again.”
Instead of being comforted by this, Theo’s eyes widened, and he struggled to sit up. “No,” he gasped, and even from across the room I could tell how much pain it caused him. “I didn’t—I didn’t mean to—”
“She is still here,” said Henry, and Ella whirled around, stricken. “Xander is gone.”
Theo slumped back on the bed, his eyes squeezed shut. “He attacked me,” he mumbled. “I came in to wish Ava a Merry Christmas, and I found them together. Xander—he must’ve forgotten the rules. Thought I was going to fight him. He pulled out his sword and swung at me, and—I had to fight back.”
He was wheezing. Why Henry was putting him through this when he could have easily questioned him once he was feeling better, I didn’t know—better yet, why couldn’t Henry heal him like he’d healed me? Somehow I doubted his abilities were limited to ankles.
“Calm yourself,” said Henry, nodding to Ella, who put a cup to Theo’s lips. He drank, although most of it splashed on his chest. Ella mopped it up methodically with a towel, as if this were something she was used to doing, though her brow was furrowed deeply. Regardless of how little he’d swallowed, whatever it was worked quickly. A few seconds later, Theo
relaxed again.
“Is that your story then? That you had no ill intentions toward Xander, and that he was the aggressor? You were merely protecting yourself?”
“And Ava,” said Theo, his eyes fluttering shut. “I thought he was going after Ava.”
Henry waited while Theo fell back asleep. Once his breathing had steadied, Henry moved toward me and set his hand on my back, guiding me out of the room.
“Is he telling the truth?” I said.
Henry looked at me, his expression still void of any trace of the humanity I’d seen the night before. “What do you think?”
I swallowed, feeling as if I’d suddenly dived headfirst into the middle of a deep lake, the surface nowhere within sight. “I think I need to talk to Ava.”
Henry let me go into the room alone, although he and two guards stood immediately outside the door, undoubtedly able to hear everything we said. I didn’t care though—getting the truth out of Ava was my top priority, not her privacy. If Theo was being honest, then she hadn’t really done anything wrong, had she? But Xander was gone, and that was something that couldn’t be ignored.
She lay in the middle of a large bed, her knees drawn to her chest. I gingerly sat on the edge of the mattress, reaching out to touch her hand.
“Are you okay?” The answer was obvious, but it was the only thing I could think of to say.
“No,” she said in a choked voice. “Xander’s dead.”
“He was already dead,” I said as gently as I could. “He just passed into the next level of things, that’s all.”
Ava was silent. I ran my fingers through her wheat-colored hair, still damp from washing out the blood. “Did they hurt you at all? Do you need to see a doctor?”
“No,” she mumbled. “I’m fine.”
It was clear that she was anything but, but the pain of losing Xander didn’t negate the possibility that she had something more to do with it. “What happened?”
She hesitated, and for a second, I didn’t expect her to say anything. When she did, she spoke so softly that I had to strain to hear her, even though the room was silent. “I don’t know. I just—woke up, and Theo was there, staring at me and Xander like—I don’t know.”
I bit my lip. “Was Theo the one to attack Xander, or did Xander attack Theo?”
“I don’t know. I woke up, saw a sword, screamed and ran into the corner. I wasn’t looking. I just—” She rolled over onto her back and stared up at me, her eyes red and full of tears. “There was blood and I was screaming and they were swearing and I don’t know what happened, all right?”
I nodded. My fists were clenched, and my nails dug painfully into my palms. “Is there anything else you can tell me? Anything else you saw or heard or—”
“No.” She rolled away from me. “It doesn’t matter anyway, does it?”
I wasn’t sure what happened, but something inside of me must’ve snapped. I’d spent months—years trying to stop the people I cared about from dying, and Ava couldn’t muster up enough compassion about someone she claimed to love to figure out what had happened.
I stood quickly, and suddenly the room seemed much smaller than before. “Don’t you get it, Ava? Xander is dead. Really, truly, never coming back here dead. And right now, everything points to Theo murdering him because he caught you in bed with him.”
That got her attention. Twisting around, she stared at me, her mouth open.
“Here’s how it goes,” I said heatedly. “Either Theo is innocent and Xander was the one who attacked him, or Theo is guilty and Xander was defending himself. Do you even care, or are you just upset because you lost a toy?”
Seething, I began to pace up and down the room. I couldn’t remember ever being this angry in my life.
“I get it, you’re dead, your life is over and you’re having fun while you can. But this isn’t fun anymore, not for anyone but you—you’re playing with these guys like they’re only here to entertain you. You act like no one else matters except in relation to you getting what you want, and now Xander is dead because of you.”
“You’re blaming me?” she said. “But I didn’t kill him—”
“You didn’t hack him into little pieces, but you’re the reason it happened.” I stopped in front of the bed, running my fingers through my hair. “Ella wants you gone. Frankly, if all you’re going to do is waste your time sleeping with every guy in the manor and acting like the world revolves around you, then so do I. You’re useless here. The only things you’ve done are bicker with Ella and get Xander killed.”
The moment I said it, I regretted it, but I couldn’t take it back. It was the truth, or at least an exaggeration of it. But when I looked at Ava, I saw a scared girl who was my friend, not the heinous, selfish whore I’d painted her as. My stomach twisted, and guilt flooded through me so fast that I felt like I was choking.
“Henry let you stay here because we’re friends,” I managed to say, and while I was calmer, my voice held the chill of accusation. “And we are, Ava, or at least I thought we were. But he risked that for me, and all you’ve done is get one of his men killed and the other branded a murderer. Do you have any idea how awful that makes me feel?”
Ava stared at me, her lower lip trembling. “You’re just jealous,” she whispered. “You’re stuck with Henry your whole life while I get to be with anyone I want. Admit it—the only reason you’re acting like this is because I get a choice and you don’t.”
I glowered at her, trying to ignore the way her words echoed through my mind. Hadn’t I been thinking the same thing a few months before? But I wasn’t going to give Ava the satisfaction of thinking she was right. She wasn’t, not anymore. “Don’t try to turn this back on me,” I said. “I had a choice, and I made it. More important, I’m happy with my decision, and I’m doing everything I possibly can to live up to it. I’m not jealous of you, Ava. I’m ashamed.”
The hurt in her eyes was painful to see, but I forced myself to continue. She had to understand there were limits, and until she stopped hurting others, I couldn’t stand by and watch anymore.
“Stay in Eden as long as you want, but don’t you dare come near me or Ella or Theo or any other man in this place again, do you understand? You leave them alone. You leave me alone. I have enough to deal with right now without having to make sure you don’t get anyone else killed.”
I would have buckled if she’d looked at me, so I stormed out of the room and past Henry, who wordlessly followed me to my suite. I wanted to slam the door, but he was behind me. Pogo and Cerberus were still curled up together on the floor, and the pillow I kicked missed them by inches.
“Now what?” I said, turning on Henry. “Do we sit here and talk about what happened? Are we the judge? The jury? What happens now?”
“Nothing,” he said, giving Cerberus a scratch behind the ears. “You have already made your decision.”
I paused. “What?”
“Ava will not have any romantic contact with any men, nor will she have any contact with you or Ella,” said Henry, and I sat down heavily on the bed. “As for Theo, that is not a judgment I could possibly ask you to make. Not yet.”
“Why not?” I said, my throat dry with the realization that I wouldn’t see Ava again. After everything we’d both been through since September, I felt like I’d failed her. But in a way, hadn’t she failed herself? I knew it wasn’t her fault, not really—she couldn’t have predicted this would happen. She’d still been careless though, and I’d stood by and let her. This was on my shoulders, too. But no matter who was to blame, Xander was still dead.
“Because you do not yet have the ability to see past a lie.” He moved to my wardrobe and began to pick through clothing as if we were talking about the weather or something equally as mundane.
I raised my eyebrows. “And you do?”
He ignored me. “Nor do you have the power to go into the Underworld and question Xander. Fortunately, that will not be necessary. I already know what happened.”
&n
bsp; I cuddled Pogo to my chest, finding comfort in his warm body. I didn’t want to ask, dreading the possibility of Theo’s guilt, so I didn’t. Henry couldn’t search through my closet forever, and he would tell me sooner or later whether I wanted to hear it or not.
A minute passed, and finally he set a clean pair of jeans and a white sweater on the bed. “Theo is telling the truth, and therefore he will not be prosecuted. Your punishment for Ava is appropriate, and there is no need for me to intervene. I will instruct the others to ensure she follows your restrictions, and that will be the end of it.”
I nodded numbly. Setting Pogo down, I took my clothes to change behind the screen in the corner. There wasn’t anything else to talk about, and the weight of my judgment fell heavily on my shoulders. Had I done the right thing, or had I reacted in anger? And how would Ava, who was already so alone in this house, survive being cut off from me and Theo as well?
“I will see you down at breakfast then,” said Henry, though the thought of food was enough to make me nauseous.
I heard the door open, but not close. Still distracted by the thought of what I’d done to my only real friend in Eden Manor, I buttoned my jeans and stepped out from behind the screen, only to see Henry still standing there. His shoulders were weighed down by some invisible load, and he shoved his hands into his pockets, looking so similar to how he had in Persephone’s room that a jolt of fear ran through me. But his eyes weren’t deadened as they had been so many weeks ago—he was weary, but he hadn’t given up again.
“What you did today is never easy,” he said, “but it was necessary. I cannot imagine how difficult it was for you, especially considering Ava is your friend.”
“Was my friend,” I whispered, but I wasn’t sure he heard me.
“Do not feel guilty for it. Her actions are not yours. I do not regret inviting her here, knowing she has, up until now, been good company. Your safety and happiness are what matter most to me.”
