We loaded the van up, and now, here I sit, watching Eli as he’s trying to chase some small birds in the back yard. His joy and laughter sound like a sad song, a broken melody to my ears.
While Jane and Danny argue over what’s next, I already know what is going to happen. They are going to get lost for a while and leave Eli here with me.
Emilia is watching the same show as me, and a tear runs down her cheek. She sees Kat in him, too. She runs a hand over my back, “It will be okay, mijo. He’s such a beautiful niño, sí?”
“Yeah,” my voice cracks, unable to elaborate any further.
The voices from inside the cabin get louder and I have finally lost my patience. I storm in, ready to set them straight.
“Look, Jane, I get that you have been Eli’s mother for all intents and purposes, and you’ve been looking after him since he was a baby. I get that.” My eyes meet her surprised ones. “But he belongs with me now. You will be in constant danger because of who he is. Also, he is my responsibility because I loved his mother. She was mine.”
“Tank.”
I freeze and the air from my lungs vanishes. Jane and Danny are both staring in astonishment in the direction the voice from the heavens came from.
“Tank,” the dark angel calls my name again. I run my hands over my face just before feeling a tender touch on my back. Instantly, my knees buckle with the weight of the situation, and I feel like I’m losing my damn mind. This can’t be right.
“Baby,” she cries, and I hold my face in my hands, on my knees, not wanting to look up and realize that she’s not really here. Small hands grip my wrists. “It’s me, Tank, please look at me?” She lightly pulls my hands down, and she is here when I open my eyes. She, too, is kneeling in front of me, with smeared mascara running down her cheeks.
My hands shake before they hold her face and my thumbs wipe the pain away with the moisture. She closes her eyes and tilts her head back, whispering, “I didn’t think I would get to feel your touch again, and I was haunted by the memory of you.”
I pull her to me, and my lips savagely take hers in a kiss. A resurrection of her and also reassurance that she really is here in front of me and this is not a dream.
My tongue pushes inside her mouth and searches for more, claiming more. She opens and draws me into her. The craving is extraordinary as we devour the other and share our souls in this kiss.
My teeth trace her bottom lip before I rasp, “If this is a dream or I am dead, I never want to wake up. I want to stay right here with you.” My lips press against her swollen ones and I whisper against them, “I love you, K-love.”
A shuddering breath is released from Kat, and she barely whispers back the words that have been haunting me. “I love you, Tank.”
Nothing can be heard but the sound of our hearts beating, coming back to life and coming alive after thinking the other was gone. I pull back just enough to see her for myself.
Her eyes bat open, and I see where a large bruise marks her face, and the bags under her eyes. I place a kiss over it all and mark it as mine. Kat loses control and falls into my arms sobbing, “I thought I lost you. I thought you had died.”
“No, Kat, I’ve been busy chasing ghosts.” A faint smile graces my face. My hand runs over her back, “It’s time for you to do something else now, no more of this badass business.”
“What?” she looks up at me in confusion.
“Come with me outside. I have someone you need to see.”
Chapter 8
Kat
Tank stands and leads me to the back door. I feel like my feet are floating as I walk behind him. At first, I hear a small voice squealing, and then I see him. A tiny little human throwing leaves and sticks before falling back and landing on his little baby, diaper padded butt.
My hand grips Tank’s like a lifeline, and I can’t let go. I am terrified to get close to Eli. What if he cries? What of he hates me? I haven’t seen him or been in the same room as him since the day he was born, and that makes me feel so inadequate to be standing in front of him as his mother.
Literally, I am scared to move a muscle, and I stare, feeling mesmerized by his presence while I follow his every move from a short distance.
“Go to him, K-Love, go meet your son,” Tank nods his head in Eli’s direction.
Tentatively, I take one step and then another until I shuffle my feet along through the dirt, twigs and leaves. Eli’s happy laughter gives me a little confidence that it will be okay. I sit down a few feet in front of him and cross my legs.
He turns and squeals, then comes running for me with a little toothy smile and drool rolling down his chin. Wanting to play, his enthusiasm to greet me, to meet an unknown new friend, is contagious. He lunges for me when he’s close enough to wrap those little chubby arms around my head, and smears his drool over my face in an open mouthed kiss.
I break.
He doesn’t know I am his mother, and why would he?
My hands instinctively hold onto all my hopes and dreams in this little package. I breathe in deep just to smell him again. My baby is in my arms. I laugh with him and I cry like I haven’t in years. I fall over to play along with him, pretending that he pushed me over.
“Up,” he taps my face and I stand and toss him into the air, smiling while he shouts. When his little body comes back down, I cradle him to my chest and kiss the top of his head. I catch Tank watching us intently and I walk over to him, holding Eli on my hip.
“Tank, this is Eli Lucas Taylor.”
Tank’s big toothy smile meets me this time, “Really? You named him Lucas?” His smile gets a little wider when he hears Eli’s middle name is his own first name.
“Hey there, little Lucas, I’m big Lucas. I think you are gonna be Junior from now on, my little mini me. Your mom is a lot crazy, though. Don’t worry, she’s not allowed to play with her toys anymore. Her job is gonna be to be a momma from now on.”
I choke on the words that lodge in my throat. I can’t be just a mom yet. There is still the huge problem we have with Matias.
“Don’t,” Tank scolds me, “Protecting this family is my job.”
My mouth opens to argue but I notice Emilia standing to the side, next to Cuervo, Jane and Danny. All of them look as confused as I am at how it all got so twisted.
Cuervo is the first to break and walks to me with Emilia on his heels to give me a hug. “I’m so glad that we were wrong, mija.”
Emilia’s hands tremble when she reaches out to me. “You better never scare me like you did, ever again.” She pushes my hair back behind my ear. “You need some family time, so I am going to take Cuervo home. Call me tomorrow, yes?”
“I will try. I don’t know for sure if I can.”
She nods in understanding, and they both take off together, leaving us with the Hoffmans. Jane’s face is filled with an ache that I know well.
I hand Eli over to Tank and he eagerly jumps into his arms, tugging on Tank’s short beard. I step back and let them play, then turn around to approach Jane. “I see your pain and I am sorry that I caused it. I needed your help, and now you are suffering because of giving me your help. I am sorry for that.”
Jane looks up at me. “I always knew you were coming back, Katherine. That’s why I never had him call me ‘mom’. But I can’t lie. I will miss him terribly.”
“I don’t want you to leave. Eli knows and trusts you. Until we have things taken care of, I want you to stay close by. Then, after the dust settles, it will be your decision how much you want to be in his life.”
“What needs to be taken care of?” Jane’s tone comes off irritated and disapproving. Danny places a hand on her shoulder, “Jane, it’s none of our business. We did this to help her, not fix their problems.”
I think Danny understands exactly what we are talking about and looks the other way, knowing some evil needs to be destroyed. Also, I can’t fault her for feeling protective of Eli. After all, I am the one who put her in that position.
“Can you help me with him to adjust? He will miss you both, too.”
She agrees and I think that is as much as I can hope for right now. But she does seem to come around just a little when she suggests, “Let’s make dinner and we can discuss how to work this out and his routines.” She leads the way and I walk inside behind her. Together, we make dinner and talk more about the future with Eli.
From the kitchen window, I see Tank and Danny chatting as they watch Eli and play with him. It strikes me how much Tank, once again, just takes him and naturally adjusts to whatever situation he’s in.
After dinner is done and Eli is asleep in one of the smaller rooms, I lean against the wall and watch him from a short distance. The creak of a board behind me alerts me that Tank is approaching, and, soon, his arms wrap around my waist.
“I need you, Kat.”
His nose runs up my neck and fingers trail under my shirt, up to my breasts. He tugs me back against his chest, holding tight with one arm, and I moan when he twists my nipples with his free hand.
My feet drag along the floor with every step he takes backward, stealing me away to our room. He quietly shuts the door and locks it.
“We have a lot to talk about, and I’m mad as hell at you right now. You promised me everything and you lied to me, Kat.”
“I didn’t lie to you, Tank.” I tremble in his arms from the tight grip he has on me. His fingers dig into my stomach and it sends exciting chills through my body. I get high from his commanding nature.
“Really?” he quietly growls. “You promised me you, all of you, and you didn’t tell me your plans. Who do you belong to, Kat?” He whips me around to face him and leans in, close to my face. “I will never go through that again. You and the brothers fucked with my head. That shit tore me apart.”
He steps forward, forcing me to back up with how close he is, barreling into my body.
“You either belong to me and I am your priority in your life, along with that little boy, or killing Matias is. Choose, Kat, us or him.”
Fury like I’ve never felt before lights up my temper and I jab a finger in his chest. “It is not fair of you to say that to me. You knew I wasn’t telling anyone anything until I could.”
We are whisper yelling at each other, careful not to wake anyone in the cabin.
“Oh, so when you died, it was safe then to tell me what you were doing when Blade and Spider already knew?”
“You knew I was going to kill him to save Eli! Don’t deny it!”
“A heads-up that you were going to fake kill yourself would have been great. Also, not fake kill yourself and let your man handle the man shit, Kat. If you die, then who is going to care for him? Who is going to take care of me?”
For a brief moment, we both stop, stunned, and stare at each other, the frustration and pain so high that neither one of us saw the emotion that would collide with our reality. Fighting over the past and who is wrong and who is right.
“You promised me you,” he growls again at me.
“You have me,” I growl back.
Tank’s hand comes up to wrap around the back of my hair. “Shut up and show me then.” He tugs my head back with a quick snap.
My hands find his belt and I slowly unbuckle it while I stare into his eyes. We are so close but so far away. I am sorry that he was hurt. Tank was never to believe that I had died. Through my gaze, I try to show him my devotion. His face is still the Tank that captured my heart, but, something inside him snapped while I was away. I broke him and us.
My chest heaves as I try to hide the disappointment I feel at that thought. My lip trembles and my mouth slightly opens as I try to take small amounts of air into my lungs. I fumble with the zipper and he stops me with a hand over mine, halting my progress.
His eyes dart between both of mine, and I break. I feel too fragile to fight with Tank. He has the power to destroy me. This is worse than believing he died.
He patiently waits for me. I can’t take the pressure and I try to pull away from his grip and run. He tightens his grip even more. “Stop fucking running from me.”
A single tear rolls down my cheek and he leans forward to lick it away. “If you are mine, you will surrender your heart and body to me. You will let me take care of you. Come to me for strength, Kat. It’s what I know you need. But you need to learn to trust. Get naked and kneel on the bed.”
His deep baritone sends shivers up my spine and I do as he asks. I strip all the clothes from my body and Tank removes his t-shirt just as I kneel before him on the bed. The height of the bed brings me higher than standing on my own and closer to his own height.
Tank pulls the belt from his pants, leaving the zipper open. “Kat,” he calmly calls me to him, and my eyes go up to meet his stern ones. “You need to release your pain and stress, and you want pain to do that?”
I choke on the harsh reality of what I need, and Tank sees it. Had my life been that messed up that I need that now?
“Don’t,” he commands. “It’s what you need and crave, and I crave to give it to you. Trust me.”
“I trust you,” I say on a faint whisper.
“Tell me what you need,” he raises a brow at me.
“I need you to make it hurt.” He waits for me to continue. “I want you to touch me.” Still, he waits for me to keep going. “Tank, I’m tired and I need your strength. I am terrified I broke you and us.”
He tilts his head, pleased with my words that were almost impossible for me to confess. Tank stands in front of me and runs a finger across my jaw. “It takes a lot to break me. The pieces will heal with time, but I do need something from you.”
“What?”
“Your submission. All of you belongs to me, every aspect of your life. You need something, you come to me. Most importantly, no more secrets.” He leans forward and kisses the corner of my mouth. “When I give it to you soft and slow, it is for me, and you want that because you know it is me worshipping you.”
“Okay,” I squeak out, feeling exposed and raw.
“Good. Let me give you what you need first.” Another soft kiss before he stands up straight. “Turn around and ass up.”
Doing as he asked, I arch my back on my hands and knees. His finger trails down my back to my pussy and then clit. He rubs me slowly as he admits, “I cannot live without you, K-Love. I need you just as much.” He rubs me softly and tenderly, working me up until I squirm, needing more from him.
He pinches my clit and I gasp. “You ready for more?”
“Yes,” I hiss.
“Put your hands in front of you and don’t move them until I tell you to.”
Eagerly, I place my hands above my head and spread my legs farther apart. Tank chuckles and lays a quick smack across my ass cheek. The belt, he runs it across my bare ass. “Let me know if you need more or less.”
The belt is gone and then a loud thwack echoes across the room before the bite of the leather registers. I moan out loud and he runs his hands over my ass and kisses the mark left behind.
“More,” I beg him.
He gives me four more quick whips with his belt and my hands beg to be released. They clench and pull at the blanket underneath me. My pussy throbs with a delicious desire to stroke it for release.
Tank kisses down my back and kneels behind me as he kisses the marks he made. His lips cool and caress the burn on my heated flesh.
“This is fucking beautiful, baby.” He takes one long lick from my clit to my pussy lips, groans and laps at me before going back to my clit.
His tongue goes to work and licks quick and hard, and I’m off in seconds as I’m coming for him. Tank doesn’t stop and it is complete torture that he doesn’t, but also heaven.
My body relaxes into his touch, and I let him have what he wants. I submit for him. I feel him stopping for a moment, and I can swear that he’s smiling. I smile with him in the dark. He goes back to work, licking my pussy. I moan as I get there again and my stomach starts clenching.
Ta
nk’s thumb goes into my pussy before he rubs around the tight muscles of my asshole. My body tenses because that has never happened to me. Before I can protest or think to, he slowly sinks in and continues sucking at my clit. The pleasure from him playing with my asshole is unexpected, and I push back into his hand.
He picks up the pace and I pant out loud, moaning and begging him not to stop. “Make me come, Tank. Fuck, don’t stop.” There is no stopping the build-up that comes when I explode from coming with his thumb in my ass. I fucking love it.
After my body stops contracting, Tank places a kiss over my pussy and stands to remove his pants. When I turn around, he’s naked and his dick is steel in front of me. I crawl forward and take his long, thick length in my hand, stroking it softly. The whole meaning of taking it soft and slow hits home in my head.
Bending forward, I take him sweetly in my mouth and bob up and down. I worship him and his body like he said he would do to me. I take my time and bring him to the brink of coming down my throat.
He pulls me up to him and his mouth devours mine in a hungry kiss, full of love. I open for him and honor him back. He tosses me back suddenly, and I laugh when he covers my body with his. Slowly, he lifts my leg and enters me, moving with a steady rhythm, enjoying the feel of our connection.
“Rub that clit, K-Love.”
I wet my finger in his mouth and stroke circles over my clit. He picks up my other leg and hammers his cock into me.
“Fuck me, baby, come inside me. Claim us again.”
Tank does. We come undone. Together.
Chapter 9
Tank
Kat’s warm body is snuggled into mine and I wouldn’t move for anything, except that my stomach is growling and I am starving for breakfast. Her hand runs up from my stomach to my chest as she starts to wake up. Instantly, I am hard and hungry for something else.
A little cry from Eli fills the air from the other room. Kat sits up straight, startled by the noise and jolts out of bed, tossing a t-shirt over her head and pulling her pants on. She grabs her gun, ready to kill any person who could possibly be threatening her son.
Fighting for Forever: Tank & Kat's story, Part 2 (Battle Born MC Book 6) Page 4
