“You’re welcome. That he had bad blood with your MC and your father had to make a choice, you or the business.”
“Obviously he chose his business.” His sad little face pouts a bit.
“Tank, from my experience, these guys value money over people. Can you trust a man that left you behind not to come after the MC now? Will he protect you and the club? My whole entire family is dead because greed was more important to them than the love for each other. Go see your father, but my guess is, you already know what needs to be done. Quit talking yourself out of it.”
Tank ignores my comments and starts talking to Eli, “You can’t kill your daddy when you grow up because we are the bomb, the B’s of life, baby E. We have a lot of adventure ahead of us, and a lot of team building.”
After Tank’s done chatting with baby E, I help him pack his bags for the road trip. “Burner phone, battery charger, two handguns and two extra clips. I tucked in two knives and my favorite tracking bug.” I then rummage through his bags to make sure he has everything he needs. “It’s all here, check.”
Satisfied, I turn around and see Tank holding a stack of clothes and two pairs of socks. “Don’t worry, I got my clothes. You will be the best housewife, Emily Scott, can’t wait to marry you,” he deadpans and tosses his clean laundry onto the bed.
“Damn straight, those worn out socks,” I point right at them, “Aren’t gonna do shit for you in a gun fight. You’re welcome, Road Dog.”
He smacks my ass on his way past me and asks, “What are you going to do for the next few days?”
“Try and do normal stuff. This house needs more furniture and whatever. I’m going to do the desperate housewife thing and spend all of the money while you are gone.”
“And plan a wedding, too?” he jokes as he’s tightly rolling and then packing his clothes into the small bag.
“No, we can elope or go to the courthouse or mail papers in. No wedding. And I am as serious as that loaded nine-millimeter in your bag. Just hell no.”
“Whatever K-Love wants, she gets. Just don’t shoot, woman.” He holds his hands up in surrender, mocking me, before he grabs the bag on his way out.
Eli and I walk him out to the driveway, and we give him hugs and kisses before he is ready to take off.
“Say bye, daddy,” I help Eli hold his little hand up and wave to Tank. He yells bye and giggles hard when Tank revs his engine for him on his way by. “Freaking boys, come on, niño, let’s go see your auntie T.”
We walk into the house and I load Eli up into the stroller, then remember that he needs snacks and drinks. I even pack an extra pair of clothes in the bag. It feels like something is still missing, though, and then it dawns on me that I need my gun. Reaching over, I pull open my nightstand drawer and grab the small handgun.
Unzipping the back compartment of the backpack, as I’m stuffing it inside, I halt all movement. “What am I doing?” I ask Eli and take the gun out, grabbing the other one with an extra clip. “There we go,” and pack both of them, feeling better about having extra bullets with me. You never know, you know?
With the bag draped over the stroller, I’m ready, and I push him through the house, ready to go. Pulling the door shut behind us, I stop and look around the quiet neighborhood. The sounds of kids playing off into the distance, that’s what I hear first. Then, I see moms driving by in their cars. It is a pretty normal Tuesday. I’ve never known what this looked like. A real mom. Who is that woman and what does she do?
My aching heart forces me to clench my eyes shut when I think about my own mother up in heaven. What she was like and the things that she would do with us when I was little. Some things will never be okay. Missing her will always be one of those things. Lately, letting things go or tucking them away has been difficult for me. Maybe because Eli and Tank have opened up my heart to a world I never had lived in before.
Thoughts of my mother stick with me on my walk, the memories of her. After several blocks, I find a park and stop to let Eli out to play. He excitedly runs to the little playhouse and immediately goes inside, exploring everything in there.
I take out my phone and snap several pictures of him, then send a few to Tank. Even though it makes me a little nervous, I talk myself into taking a picture with Eli and send that, too. It’s been a long time since my picture was taken. Always hiding your identity will do that to you.
I sit on a nearby bench from where I can watch Eli run around the park, throwing whatever he can get his hands on up in the air. His joy and enthusiasm are a wrecking ball against any defenses I’ve had built around me before. This little guy shreds me. His emotions bring me to my knees.
Eli also makes me miss her, my mother, because of his affection. Would she love me, or did she love me like I do him? Would she love me now unconditionally like he does me? I know that she did.
“I’m sorry, momma. So sorry for all that I have done,” I whisper quietly, hoping that my words reach her. “I did so many dark things. The one I hate the most was hurting Korina. I hope you forgive me.”
It’s like the air around me changes and I can feel her warmth. Her. My mom comes to me again. Maybe it was my conversation with Tank this morning that brought all these thoughts back, but it feels as if she is sitting here with me. She brings me peace, and I feel forgiveness, even though I don’t understand why she would.
My words are caught in my throat. I never realized how much that was bothering me. I was so focused on being strong that I never saw the damage some of my choices had done to me. Everything we do has a consequence, mine is the pain and remembrance of living after their death.
I’m not sure how long I sit here and replay the memories in my mind. I question if I could have done things differently, and I still don’t see how I could have.
“I have to let them go so I can be free,” I murmur to the wind. Letting go is never easy and I want to be ready to do that. “I loved you, Papa and Korina. When we were kids. That is who I miss, the family we once were.”
My mother adored my father at one time. I wonder what it had been like for her. What she went through before the end of it all.
The little girl in me is ready to be carefree and, like the breeze, I let these feelings drift away. I protected her for so long, the young girl I once was, but it’s time to let her go too. She is strong enough to stand on her own. I mourn the loss of the family I never could before.
Eli comes running to me with his little arms wide open. He’s finally worn out because he jumps up into my lap and snuggles into me. I embrace the tiny gift of life and love. He’s my little treasure that no amount of money could ever replace.
I buckle him back into the stroller and, by the time I walk another block, he is quietly passed out.
My next steps are clear, they heal me so that I can love my family and not make the mistakes of the past.
Chapter 31
Tank
I met with Axl at the clubhouse, where we exchanged our bikes for an SUV. He came with me on the worst ride of my life, it feels like. Never in all my wildest dreams, and there have been some wild ones, did I ever think that I would be the one to put a bullet in my old man’s back. As a kid, my dad came across as this smart and sophisticated businessman. After being in the MC for so long, I now know that the world is all smoke and mirrors.
I never looked for monsters in my own house, not at all. The day he told me I was as good as dead to him is still crystal clear in my head, like it all happened yesterday.
“What the hell do you mean, you are still riding with that garbage motorcycle club?” My dad pushes me back with his hand to my shoulder. He is a large man, like me, but I’m bigger. What his fucking problem with me is, I have no idea.
“I’m doing your classes for business, like you asked, chill out.” I hold my ground, though, and step away from him at the entryway of my apartment. I’m sick of seeing him and of this same argument every time I’ve seen him since he found out who I was prospecting for.
His hand comes down on my shoulder, whipping me around to face him, with his finger in my face. “We have better things to do with your future. We are moving to California, there are more business opportunities there. Get rid of them by the time you graduate. You’re moving and coming with us.”
I laugh in his face, “I don’t have to leave Nevada and I’m sure as fuck not living in California and working for you.” The last few months of these fights have cemented that in my head.
“Oh, so you are going to waste everything and be a biker, is that it? Run drugs and fuck cheap whores. You won’t have shit in that life.”
“Being your bitch makes me better?” I snarl and step further into his space.
“If you are telling me no, then you need to understand that I’m not paying for your school, this apartment, none of it. Take that piece of shit cut off now, or you will be dead to me,” he spits his threat and anger into my face.
“It ain’t ever coming off,” I taunt. “Do what you have to, asshole. I’m not having this conversation with you again. I don’t need your prissy ass money or suits.”
My dad’s fists clench at his side. “Don’t come fucking crying to me later. Remember, you made this shit the way it is.”
I pull my cell and wallet out of my pocket and toss them up, hitting him in the chest. “Take it all, I don’t give a fuck. Live your life how you want. Leave me to mine.” The dead tone and my words hit their mark as the phone and wallet hit the floor between us.
He backs away toward the only way out of my apartment. With one last glare over his shoulder, he is out the door and my life. Leaving the phone on the floor, I stomp on it with my boot and pick up the wallet on my way out. I’ll go spend his money on blow, booze and my brothers, fuck this asshole.
The sound of a car honking their horn at a truck wakes me from my daydream on the road, and I chuckle. God, those last few grand I had was a celebration of my freedom. We partied for days after that. Never did I hear from my parents again or get a birthday card. My mother was a cold bitch to begin with. I am fairly certain she hadn’t planned on getting knocked up with me and didn’t give a shit to have me. The old bastard probably made her, for appearances’ sake.
It takes about six hours before we reach the town of Napa, California, where the money cleaning headquarters is located. It’s a nice area if you’re into money and have a lot of it to show off. Not my kind of place. We find a hotel and park the SUV at the entrance.
“I don’t even want to know what this place costs a night,” Axl comments, whistling low.
We had to dress in slacks and polos for the journey here, to mix in with the swanky crowd. I pull at the collar of my shirt, wishing I could tear this Eddie Bower shit off. After we settle into our room, we take a drive around and get a layout of the streets, getting an idea of how we can get in and out easily.
We park a few miles away from the property that belongs to the old man and wait for the sun to set. After, Axl and I dress in all black and we begin to sneak through the darkening vineyard field to get to the house. We listen carefully for guards, and not coming across any only confirms how laid back he is. Which is good, because he may not have figured out what we stole yet. Spider disabled his home security from back in Reno so that we could get in when we need to. We set up our stakeout location close to the house, up on a hill.
I watch closely around the property for movement before I spot them. It looks like the old man has some associates over. I’m sure they’re just other assholes that he cleans money for. About an hour later, they shake hands and all but two guys leave. The three of them walk out to the patio by the pool where they have cigars lit and finish drinking what looks like scotch.
One guy takes off his tie, but that’s not what makes me almost lose it. It’s the guy next to him that tears away all of his clothes. I turn to Axl. “What the fuck is going on here?” I whisper shout from the bushes we’re hiding behind. Turning back to the scene, I see that the two guys are naked now. One of them is on his knees taking the other in his mouth while my dad sits in his chair watching, puffing away at his cigar.
“Fuck, bro, your dad is gay,” Axl snickers the obvious.
“I can’t watch this right now,” I groan. “We can come back tomorrow,” I plead with him to let us leave.
“You can call Stryker and tell him why then,” Axl laughs quietly.
“Fuck.” I can’t tell Stryker I left because of this. He’ll kill me for being a pussy. “Tell me when it’s over.”
But no, Axl can’t do that. That’s what a good friend would do, but not him. He gives me the blow-by-blow, literally. “That dude that was sucking off that other guy is now blowing your old man. And the other guy is now ramming his ass from behind. These dudes are intense, Jesus.”
He takes a break from talking but not for long. “Wowzah, your dad is now ramming the rammer, and that’s some shit I’ll need to wash from memory because, yep. Not what I was expecting, but I can’t stop watching either.”
“Can you shut the fuck up already?”
“There is nothing wrong with sexuality, Lucas.” Axl uses my first name like he’s reprimanding a little kid. He continues giving me the details until, finally, it is all over and dear old dad gets into a car and leaves for the night, I assume.
We backtrack over to our truck, and, as we jump in, I make a call to Stryker and Blade and inform them about the ass fucking crazy we found, and job not done for today.
“I don’t know about going through with this, it seems odd to me. Where the hell is my mom? I think we should look closer into this before we take him out.”
The line is quiet before Stryker replies, “We’ll get the guys on it, but we stay on track. If I have to get Axl to pull the trigger, Tank, your ass will be the next that’s fucked, you hear me?”
That could really mean almost anything coming from him. He could have the guys beat my ass down, strip me of my Road Captain patch, or of my cut completely. I won’t fail my brothers. There is just something nagging at me to find out what it is.
Chapter 32
Kat
I knock a few more times but Tami doesn’t answer, and I grow increasingly uncomfortable. Her car is in the driveway. Could she be napping or in the shower? I wait just a little longer and try knocking again, but nothing. Peeking through the side window, my eyes look around the house to see if I can find anything out of place, but it all seems too quiet.
Visions of a dead Tami and Cash flash before my eyes. I start panicking and pull my gun out from the bag. Quietly, I unlock the front door with my keys and pick Eli up from his stroller. I hold his sleeping body with one arm and rest his head in the crook of my neck.
My right hand is extended with the nine-millimeter and I begin searching the rooms one at a time. I start with the kitchen, then step into the living room area. I find Tami sitting on the couch and her eyes bug out right before a blood curdling screech leaves her mouth. The laptop on her knees flies to her left and she grabs her chest with one hand, ripping out her earbuds with the other.
“Kat, are you fucking crazy! Wait, you are fucking crazy if you came inside to kill people with your kid on your hip. Dude, you can’t take a baby into a war!”
I lower the gun and set it on a side table next to the couch where Cash is sleeping next to where Tami was just sitting. Eli’s head raises a bit from all the commotion, but he then drifts back to sleep.
“What the hell were you doing? I knocked forever— Hold on, I’m going to put Eli down.” After I go to Tami's bedroom and lay Eli down on her bed, I come out only to face Tami, and I smirk at her annoyed face.
“God, you are dramatic. Take your baby into war,” I tease her and pick Cash up from the couch to snuggle him to me. Tami sets her laptop down but turns the screen away from me. “What were you working on anyway? I thought you finished school?”
Tami’s eyes dart around and won’t look at me. Well, well, well, my lil’ T has some secrets she’s hiding, so when she ignores me and tu
rns it around, I let her, for today.
“Yeah, school is done. But what the hell are you packing a gun around like that for? You scared the shit out of me.”
I shrug a shoulder, “Old habits, I guess. I’ve carried a gun with me since I was fifteen. It feels like missing my wallet when I don’t have it. At least you know I would save you, so there’s that, and you are welcome.”
“I’m telling Tank to take away all your guns. Seriously, you have to stop doing that, especially with Eli. Take care of him first, crazy lady.”
Now that she said that, I do feel bad. “Damn. I think you’re right. That was painful to say. But I came over to see what you were up to.”
“You came over to check on me,” Tami gives me a pointed look. “But thank you, I love you, too. It’s the same, Kat. I just can’t… I can’t talk about it yet. I’m trying to work through it still.” She holds onto the necklace around her neck and looks over at her computer.
“I’m here when you need me, okay?” I say, trying not to notice where her eyes went. The old me would remote log into her laptop within the next hour. I’m not going to kid you, I would love to see what she was up to, but I won’t.
“Yeah, I know you are. How is your new life starting over?”
“Just trying to figure out who this new me is. I need something to do. I wish Blade would let me help at the MC with Spider, but that will never happen. Only other thing I can do is ask for a job at The Black Rose again. I don’t think I’m ready to be out into the world, and, honestly, I don’t know if I ever can be. It feels too weird and out of place.”
“We have time.”
Tami tries to smile through my words, and I decide that talking to her may be too selfish on my part. She doesn’t have anything to give to others right now, that I can understand. She and I spend the afternoon together and I make her dinner before getting ready to head home with Eli.
Fighting for Forever: Tank & Kat's story, Part 2 (Battle Born MC Book 6) Page 15
