by Derek Landy
Valkyrie reached out, her palm on the cold wall, and there was a rumble as the wall opened up, wide enough for the two of them to enter.
“Now,” Skulduggery said, and they bolted. The wall closed behind them as the space immediately ahead opened. It was disconcerting to run full pelt at solid rock, but just as they were about to hit it, it parted, then resealed at their heels. They were sprinting in a bubble of space that was moving quickly through the ground, and the rumbling was huge and loud and reminded her of Billy-Ray Sanguine taking her to see Baron Vengeous. She hadn’t liked it then and she didn’t like it now.
They were running up an incline—Valkyrie could feel it in her legs. Skulduggery had doused the flame so it wouldn’t burn up the oxygen, so now they were running in complete darkness. Valkyrie opened the side of her mouth to suck breath through, trying not to let the cold air hit her damaged tooth.
She was getting tired. They had been sprinting for far too long. She needed to slow down, just for a moment, but she knew this little bubble of space would move ahead without them. She didn’t much fancy being crushed to death, no matter how fast it would be.
“Didn’t think it would be quite so far,” Skulduggery said over the noise. The good thing about not having breath was that he would never be out of it, and the good thing about not having muscles was that they could never scream at him. She envied him right now.
Valkyrie’s coat snapped her backward—she realized immediately that the coattails had been caught in the crush—and she ripped her arms out of the sleeves, abandoning the coat to the darkness, and stumbled. She felt Skulduggery’s gloved fingers close around her hand as he yanked her up alongside him, practically dragging her. She got her feet under her once more and was running on her own again, but she gripped his hand and didn’t let go.
And then there was a blinding light, a rush of fresh air—and they were outside. Valkyrie slipped on wet grass, landing on her back. The rumbling abruptly ceased. She lay there, both hands covering her mouth, breathing fast and squinting as her eyes adjusted.
Skulduggery was wrapping his scarf around his jaw. He dipped his hat low over his eye sockets. “The Garden of Remembrance,” he said. “Not the most inconspicuous place for a secret tunnel to emerge, but I’m not complaining.”
Valkyrie grunted a response, indicating that she wasn’t about to complain either. He helped her up. Her arms were bare and prickling with goose bumps in the cold air. The only people she could see were an elderly couple, out for a quiet stroll. Nobody had seen their arrival. They walked to the gate.
“We have a problem,” Skulduggery said. “Apart from all the obvious ones, I mean. The Bentley is back at the Sanctuary, and we’re not going to be able to get to it.”
She moaned.
“The good news is, after it was damaged two years ago, I took the precaution of stashing a few replacements around town. There’s one a few minutes’ walk away.”
Valkyrie looked at him and mumbled a question.
He laughed. “It’s not yellow, no. I’m sure you’ll like this one.”
They walked to a small parking lot behind a crumbling building, with Valkyrie doing her best to hide the blood from the people they passed. The only car parked here was a Ford Fiesta. She glared at Skulduggery.
He nodded. “I suppose it is kind of small.”
She mumbled something again, and he shook his head.
“Actually, you’d be surprised at how nimble it is. It doesn’t have the speed, the comfort, or the sheer power of the Bentley, but especially in city traffic, a Fiesta is a fine—”
She interrupted him with another, angrier mumble, and he took a moment before nodding.
“I suppose you’re right. It is sort of purple, yes.”
She sagged. Skulduggery took the key from its hiding place in the tailpipe, opened the car, and got in. Valkyrie slid in beside him, buckling up without enthusiasm, and Skulduggery started the engine.
“Starts first time,” he said happily.
They drove out of the parking lot and headed for the Hibernian Cinema. The Purple Menace wasn’t as bad as the Canary Car, but it was close. At least it didn’t make people stop and laugh as it passed. After a few minutes, Valkyrie even stopped thinking about it and instead started worrying about her tooth.
They got to the Hibernian and parked across the street. Skulduggery went first, making sure Guild hadn’t sent a squad of Cleavers to arrest them, and then he beckoned Valkyrie over. It was starting to rain as they entered, and Valkyrie led the way through the screen and into the medical bay.
Fletcher swaggered up, started to say something cocky, but saw the dried blood on Valkyrie’s face and hands, and his eyes widened. They passed each other in silence.
Kenspeckle was in one of the labs, drinking a cup of tea and eating a scone. He muttered when he saw them approaching, but his eyes narrowed when Valkyrie neared. Up to now, she had been pretty brave about it, but the look of concern on Kenspeckle’s face brought tears to her eyes and she couldn’t help it. She started crying.
Skulduggery stepped back like she had stung him, but Kenspeckle rushed forward.
“Oh, my dear,” he said tenderly, “there’s no need to cry, there’s no need. What’s happened to you, eh? Let me have a look. A broken tooth? Is that all? That’s nothing, Valkyrie. That’s a half hour’s work at the very most. You’ve nothing to worry about.”
Normally, Valkyrie would have had something to say to show she wasn’t rattled, but today she was without words.
Kenspeckle shot Skulduggery a glare. “You can wait elsewhere, Detective Pleasant. Maybe you can keep an eye on that annoying boy you stuck me with—try and make sure he doesn’t break anything else. I’ll have her back to you soon enough.”
Skulduggery nodded and looked at Valkyrie, then walked away.
“We’ll get that smile working again,” Kenspeckle promised, giving her a wink. “Don’t you worry.”
Seventeen
THE DARK LITTLE SECRET
CHINA WAS SITTING at her desk, cataloging new arrivals to her library, when Remus Crux came storming into the apartment. His entrance was so dramatic that she almost arched an eyebrow. If he had had a chin, it would probably be thrusting.
“Remus,” she said. “What a lovely surprise.”
“Your charms won’t work on me,” Crux sneered. “Unlike every other simpleton who falls in love with you, I have a will of iron. You won’t be able to cloud my thoughts.”
“I doubt I’d even be able to find them.”
She smiled graciously and his face slackened for a moment, but then he closed his eyes and shook his head.
“Stop what you’re doing, or I will arrest you.”
China stood up from the desk. She was wearing blue today. “Remus, despite what you’ve heard, I can’t control what other people feel. I’m just standing here. Any emotion you’re feeling is coming all by itself.”
His hand moved into his jacket, and she didn’t try to stop him as he pulled out his gun and aimed at her.
“Stop it,” he snarled.
“I can’t.”
“You are influencing the mind of an agent of the Sanctuary. That is a criminal offense.”
“It is?”
“You are impeding an investigation!”
“You came to see me, Remus, and you still haven’t told me why. Would you like some tea?”
Without waiting for his response, she crossed to the sideboard. The symbols she had carved into the wood glowed with heat as she lifted the teapot to the delicate cup and poured.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him gripping the gun so tightly that his knuckles turned white.
“Skulduggery Pleasant and Valkyrie Cain,” he said. “They are fugitives from justice, and you will deliver them to me.”
“I don’t know where they are.”
“But you can find them. You can use your network of informants and spies to track them down.”
She laughed. “Informants a
nd spies? You make it all sound so glamorous.”
Holding the saucer in her left hand, she raised the cup to her lips and took a delicate sip.
Realizing that the gun was having no effect on her, Crux holstered it. “You will do what I say, or I will make your life uncomfortable.”
“I don’t mean to upset you, Remus, but there is nothing about you that scares me in the slightest. When I look at you, all I see is an insecure little man trying to step out of the shadow of his predecessor. But Skulduggery casts a long shadow, doesn’t he?”
“You think it’s jealousy?” Crux smiled. “That’s why I’m so keen to bring him in? It’s not jealousy, Miss Sorrows. I know who he is. I’ve heard the stories about him. I’ve even heard a story that very few people have heard. I think you know it.”
“I’m sure I do. Are you sure you won’t have some tea?”
“You’re not grasping the seriousness of the situation. I heard this one particular story from a dying man, who wanted to pass on his biggest secret before he left us. He was a Necromancer, actually. I’ve never had much time for death magicians, but he was different. Do I have your attention yet?”
China sighed and took her tea over to the desk. “Say what you have to say, Remus. I have a business to attend to.”
He leaned in. “I know how Skulduggery Pleasant came back from the dead, Miss Sorrows, and I know what happened after. And I know what you did.”
She observed him with cold eyes and said nothing.
“I’ve known for the last two years,” Crux continued. “I went looking for evidence to support this claim, but I had neither the resources nor the authority available to me. But since the Grand Mage brought me in, I’ve been working at it, behind the scenes, bit by bit, piecing it together.”
“I genuinely don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Do you think he knows what you did? What am I talking about? Of course he doesn’t. If he knew, you’d be dead, am I right?”
“You do not want to upset me,” China said, pushing her cup to one side. “You wouldn’t like me when I’m upset.”
“Bring them to me,” said Crux. “Arrange a meeting, spring a trap. Pleasant and Cain. I want them gift wrapped and handed over.”
“No.”
“If you don’t, I go public with my suspicions, and you know what would happen then. He has a thing for revenge, doesn’t he?”
China’s blue eyes narrowed. “He’s trying to save us.”
“He’s working with the Diablerie.”
“Don’t be absurd.”
“He aided the enemy, Miss Sorrows. He will be arrested, tried, and imprisoned. The only thing I care about, the only result I’m interested in, is that he is taken off the streets, and I can do that with or without your help. For your own well-being, I think you should cooperate.”
“We need him.”
“No,” he said, “we don’t. He’s an unpredictable quantity. We need someone with rules, with ethics, with a moral sense of duty. Someone like me. Good day, Miss Sorrows. I will be expecting your call.”
Eighteen
IN THE FLESH
VERY LIGHTLY, Valkyrie ran her tongue over the cap on her broken tooth, scared she might dislodge it before it had time to set. Kenspeckle examined his handiwork and nodded.
“It’ll be fine.”
“It feels a little big,” she admitted.
“That’s because it is. In a few weeks you’ll wear it down and have it level with the rest of your teeth, and you’ll forget it’s even there. Don’t bite anything for a few hours—you might want to avoid eating anything particularly chewy or tough—and you really ought to stop getting punched in the face.”
Valkyrie looked down at her boots. “Sorry,” she muttered.
“You don’t have to apologize to me—I’m not the one getting hit.”
“Thanks for doing this, Kenspeckle.”
He sighed. “I may have my issues with Mr. Pleasant, and I may have a problem with what you’re being taught and how you are treated, but never mistake any of that for a problem with you, my dear.”
“But I’m treated well.”
“You’re treated like an adult,” Kenspeckle said. “That’s not being treated well. The fact is, no matter how much you act otherwise, you are a child and you should be treated like a child.”
“You don’t treat me like a child.”
He smiled. “Of course I do, but you seem to have this ridiculous notion that being treated like a child means to be treated with less respect than an adult.”
“Not everyone sees things the way you do.”
“And what have I always told you about other people?”
“They’re idiots.” She grinned.
“And your beautiful smile is back. You know, sometimes I think I’m better than even I think I am.”
“Is that possible?”
“I wouldn’t have thought so.”
Valkyrie heard Kenspeckle sigh irritably. Skulduggery stood in the doorway.
“We’d better go,” Skulduggery said. “Sooner or later, Guild is going to send someone here to look for us.”
“Oh, that’s right,” said Kenspeckle. “I’m harboring fugitives now, aren’t I? Would you look at that? You ask me to help you and then you turn me into a criminal.”
“They won’t know we’ve been here,” Skulduggery promised.
“And what about the annoying boy? Are you taking him with you?”
“It might be safer if he comes with us.”
Kenspeckle laughed. “Safer? Safer?”
“Thurid Guild can’t be trusted. If he finds out who Fletcher is, he might turn him over to the Diablerie. He might be the Diablerie.”
“Do you hear yourself? Do you? You’re delusional! You’re seeing enemies and conspiracies round every corner! You are endangering those around you with no thought to their well-being! ”
“The threat posed by the Diablerie is real, Professor.”
“Then let the Sanctuary handle it. They have the resources. They have the Cleavers. You have a fourteen-year-old girl who puts her life on the line every time she’s with you.”
Skulduggery turned and started walking. Valkyrie gave a hesitant smile to Kenspeckle and followed. But Kenspeckle wasn’t through. He stormed up to Skulduggery and grabbed his arm, swinging him around.
“Do you not feel one iota of responsibility? Valkyrie was in a fight with a grown man less than two hours ago. Don’t you feel bad about what happened to her?”
“But I’m okay,” Valkyrie said softly.
“She could have been killed,” Kenspeckle continued. “Yet again, while out with you, she could have been killed. Would you have felt anything then?”
“Let go of my arm, Professor Grouse.”
“Think back to when you were a man, Skulduggery, to when you were flesh and blood, and tell me: Do you remember ever actually having a heart, or were you born dead?”
Before Skulduggery could respond, Clarabelle ran into the corridor. “It’s gone!” she shouted. “The statue of Ghastly is gone! ”
Skulduggery ran, Valkyrie right behind him. They passed Clarabelle and sprinted for the chamber. Fletcher emerged from a room and had to jump to one side to avoid being knocked down.
They burst through the doors and Skulduggery ran to the spot where the statue had knelt. Valkyrie hurried around the edge of the chamber, hand trailing along the walls. Kenspeckle and Clarabelle rushed in, and Fletcher followed.
“Has anyone been in here?” Skulduggery demanded.
“No one,” Clarabelle said. “What are you looking for?”
“Cracks,” Valkyrie told her. She cast her eyes around for any sign that Sanguine had been in the room.
“They have him,” Skulduggery said tightly. “The Diablerie. They got in here somehow and they took Ghastly. I don’t know how, but they did.”
Tanith ran in, and even though Valkyrie hadn’t seen her in weeks, she was in no mood to smile. Tanith, on the oth
er hand, seemed to be a great mood.
“Hey!” she said brightly.
“Get your sword,” Skulduggery said, taking out his gun. “They may still be in the area.”
“I lost my sword,” Tanith confessed. “And then I fell off a building. And I got stabbed through the hand.” She held up her right hand, which had a thick bandage around it. “Who might still be in the area? What’s going on?”
“Ghastly” was all Valkyrie could say.
“I know!” Tanith beamed. “Isn’t it amazing?”
Skulduggery turned his head sharply. “Isn’t what amazing?”
Tanith’s smile faded, and uncertainty clouded her eyes. “Um, Ghastly.”
“What’s amazing about Ghastly? He’s missing.”
Tanith frowned. “But I was just talking to him.”
They stared at her, then heard footsteps, and they looked at the door and a man walked through. A man with a boxer’s build and a tailor’s clothes, with scars that covered his entire head and a smile that was weak but sincere.
“Ghastly!” Valkyrie shrieked, embarrassingly high, and launched herself at him. He grunted with the ferocity of her hug, then laughed.
“Out of the way,” Kenspeckle ordered, moving forward. “Let me see him.”
Valkyrie bounded away and allowed Kenspeckle to examine his patient.
“Do you remember your name?” he asked, shining a light into Ghastly’s eyes.
“Yes, I do, Professor. My name is Ghastly Bespoke. I’m a tailor, my favorite color is green, and I don’t have any pets.”
“Does this hurt?” Kenspeckle asked, and poked him in the face with a finger.
“Ow. Yes.”
“All right then.” Kenspeckle stood back. “You’re fine.”
Without waiting for a response, he turned and strode out the door.
“His bedside manner hasn’t improved,” Ghastly murmured.
Skulduggery stepped in front of him. The two friends looked at each other.
“Tanith told me I’ve been gone about two years,” said Ghastly.
“That’s right.”
“That’s a long time.”
“It is.”
“Not as long as it could have been, but still, a long time. You’re … you’re not going to hug me, are you?”
