by Kenna Bardot
I nodded to her. "I have five Sires to get home to anyway," I said, but even I could feel how brittle my smile was in the face of all the Gods watching my dismissal.
For once, just for once, it would have been nice to be accepted and not be seen as different.
"I'll come with you," Oryn said as I turned on my heel and strode for the door.
"That's alright. Stay and enjoy the party."
"No, thank you. I've seen enough of the Northerners today. I don't think I've ever been more disappointed in my House than I am right this moment."
I nodded and allowed him to lead me away, but the threat of tears stung my throat as we made our way through the doors. I didn't want to be responsible for Oryn feeling more separated from his House than he already was with his more tolerant nature.
Some Gods lingered outside the Capitol building, and the whispers and stares grew to be too much as the first tear fell down my cheek. I didn't bother to wipe it away, but the crack of it colliding with the marble path echoed through the pavilion as it shattered to tiny shards of ice. "I'm so sorry, Mireyah. I shouldn't have brought you here," Oryn murmured, taking my arm and guiding me down the steps a little further from where the others lingered.
"It's not your fault," I whispered, sniffling back the threat of more tears as best as I could. "I can't hide from them forever."
"Are you alright?" he asked, and it was those fatal words that set me over the edge. That always pushed me into the territory where I might explode in an emotional mess. As much as I was determined to keep it at bay, another tear slid free from my eye to cool to a shard of ice as it detached from my skin.
I winced, sniffling harder. "I'll be fine. I just need to get home." I turned away from him, patting his arm in my attempt to soothe the guilt he obviously felt regardless of the fact that it wasn't his fault.
It was mine. I'd gone in knowing it wouldn't end well. My lack of invitation had made it obvious they didn’t want me there, but I'd gone anyway because my pride determined it necessary. I’d needed to insert myself where I wasn't wanted just because I had the right.
Like it mattered.
When I lifted my head from the marble steps, I found Hollis staring at me. His strikingly beautiful features twisted into a grimace I wouldn't have thought him capable of as he stormed toward me to close the distance between us.
“What did you do?" he growled at Oryn, his voice deepening to the levels I'd have expected of Ryle or Shephard, but not of him.
"They upset her-" Oryn started, but he didn't get to finish when some of the same Northerners who had laughed as they had ridiculed me stepped up to support him.
"You need not answer to the Southerner who’s been sitting there waiting like a piece of trash, Oryn," the Tovenaar female from earlier said with a touch on his shoulder. "He doesn't belong here. Just like her."
"But she does!" Oryn said. "And he is her Sire. It is ridiculous that we do not even make allowances for spouses who are not of our region."
"It's alright," I told Hollis, reaching up to touch his cheek when he looked like he might intercede to agree with Oryn. "I just want to go home. I’d rather not stay in this place, anyway." And it was true, the party and interaction with Ashric had left me weary, made me crave the comfort and privacy of my home.
The one place where the men and I could just be, without fear of judgment or condemnation. In a world that seemed determined to tear us apart, it had quickly become our little sanctuary. And the capitol left a foul taste in my mouth. Any place that welcomed Ashric in that way would always do so.
"Okay, Pet," he whispered, and I smiled at him through burning eyes. I reached for his hand, turning mine so his fingers would touch my wrist. My bond with Hollis was light - a juxtaposition from the darkness of our meeting. The darkness of the way he’d taken me, abused me, mistreated me.
Now, there was nothing but light that wound around me as I felt our bond. Our hands locked together, and I reached up to kiss him, not caring about any judging looks we received. Because we did.
I turned back briefly to wave goodbye to Oryn, and the smile he gave me in return reassured me.
“Can we walk, Hollis? I’m not feeling that I want to take the Express tonight.”
“That’s fine with me, Pet. I need to stretch my legs, anyway. I waited so long.” He stretched his arms to the sky and let out a satisfied sigh.
“How did you know where to find me?” He glanced down at me, arms still outstretched before wrapping an arm around my shoulder.
“Well, I waited for you by that building where you work, but then heard that the entire region was having a party. I went home first, but you weren’t there so I came back. I assumed you’d gone to the party.” He smiled down and gave my nose a gentle tweak. “And I was right.
"I’m sorry I didn’t tell anyone I would attend the party," I told him, smiling up at him as I leaned my torso into his side. “I didn’t imagine some of the others would be on board.”
He leaned down, pressing his full, soft lips to mine in a gentle, coaxing kiss. "There’s no need to apologize, Mireyah. You’re allowed to live part of your life separate from the five of us, much as we do. Don’t listen to Shep or Ryle when they’re being overly possessive.”
I squeezed his hand in thanks. “I’m sorry you have to be seen with me with my puffy eyes and red nose.” I sniffled and rubbed at my nose, certain I made it even more red.
“No one is more beautiful than you, Mireyah," he whispered as he pulled back.
"That was smooth. Even if it was a lie," I teased. "The beauty you work with every day makes me look like a troll."
"No," he said in all seriousness. "The beauty I deal with in my work every day is artificial. Created. Manufactured. You're you. You've never thought to have me mold you into someone else, because you know there is nothing that any of us would change about you."
My shoulders relaxed when we left the Northern region behind and moved further into the West. I bumped my hips against his. "Except for maybe when I act like a bitch."
"Ah, I said you were beautiful. I didn't say you didn't act like a raving lunatic," he chuckled. I swatted at his shoulder, snickering against his arm and feeling content in the honesty of our banter.
If human women thought periods and ovulation made them moody, they'd seen nothing compared to an ovulating Goddess. I couldn't even fault Hollis because he called me out on it.
I hated myself during those times too.
“Well, at least I have four other men that help me deal with it when it happens,” he said with a chuckle.
I pushed him and ran down the path - uneven and strewn with rocks and twigs, but it was a shining beacon. It called to me.
I sighed when I caught sight of the stone house. Built by Ryle’s hands in the three days after the Bytas had taken me for my final step to Ascension, it was my favorite place in Demiorgo. The only place where I could be me.
Over the months, Ryle had improved on it, added to it, but it still kept that charm, both inside and out. We dominated an entire floor with one enormous bedroom that the six of us shared while there were two other, smaller rooms accounting for the eventuality of children.
As we crossed the front yard, Char appeared from another path - the one from the Express station, which was even more uneven than the one Hollis and I had taken.
I watched him walk towards us, press his fingers to the inner corners of his eyes. It was unusual for him to get home so early, likely because everyone else had gone to the party. I tried to not be too hurt that he didn’t tell me, didn’t think to consult me on whether I wanted to go.
"What happened?" He ran a finger down my cheeks. I knew they were tear-stained, in much the same way that I knew my eyes were red and puffy. There was no doubt he saw them
I opened my mouth to answer but Hollis wrapped his arm around me more tightly and interrupted, “There was a party in the North she didn’t know about but Oryn informed and took her.”
“The part
y, yes,” Char looked me over with that blank stare, and I felt Hollis tremble beside me.
“Is that all you have to say? The party? Why did she have to go with a friend? Informed by a friend? You’re the only other one of us who has a connection to the North. That should have been your responsibility.”
Char’s left eyebrow winged up. I had to admit that I was also just as surprised by the vitriol in Hollis’s tone. He’d been so sweet and relaxed during our walk home, it was a shock that he’d been keeping it in check for me.
“She didn’t have to go,” Char answered.
It was a stab directly to the heart, the knowledge that he had decided without even consulting me.
“It’s not a matter of should I have or not,” I explained as the rest of the men poured out from inside the house. I was almost certain they wondered why we still hadn’t come inside. “I went with Oryn because it was my choice to make.”
I felt a hand grab my wrist and pull me closer. I saw the purple before I was fully engulfed by sturdy arms and pressed against a hard chest. “What the fuck were you doing with the Kald?”
“The Kald is a friend, Shep. I wanted to go, and he asked me to go with him.” I laid a hand on his chest and tried to pull away. He didn’t budge and instead turned to face Char. “Where were you?”
“I didn’t think the party was important. I didn’t go.” Char’s voice dipped dangerously low as we pushed him too far. At that moment, I could not really care less.
Tate walked forward, laying a hand on Shep to get him to shift, which he did. He touched my hand with his and tilted his head to the side. I knew he was skimming over my emotions, but I allowed him. He needed to know what I was feeling.
At that moment it felt impossible to communicate.
“You’re a bastard if you think it’s all about you, Charolais. Our Mireyah needed you,” he snapped at Char before he turned towards me. “What scared you, Mireyah?”
I shook my head. “I wasn’t scared. Just pissed. “Ashric was there.”
“I didn’t think you’d want to go given how toxic Northerners are. The parties are even worse. There will come a time when we're in a better position to demand respect and when going to a party would be a powerful move. Until then, we just have to be patient,” Char explained with a shrug. The nonchalance of the motion only pissed me off further. He truly didn’t understand what the issue was.
"You need to be more aware of what it's like for her," Tate told him. "It's overwhelming, going from only human sensations to the magnified reality that comes with being a Goddess. If you can't keep that in mind where Mireyah's feelings are concerned, then maybe you should make sure the rest of us are aware of the things that could affect her ahead of time and leave it to us to handle her."
"I do not need to be handled." I pushed Tate and Shep aside and took a few steps to clear my head of them. "I’m a Goddess, for fuck's sake. "
"No more events in the North without one of us to escort you. Not with Ashric Tovenaar lurking like the psycho he is," Ryle grunted out, and I looked up to see he stood just behind me.
“I can’t hide forever.” Even if I wanted to, even if the way Ashric looked at me like he would do anything to possess me, anything to have me, made my skin crawl. I looked down at the bumps on my skin. It was enough to make my skin crawl even then just thinking of it.
Ryle gave me a look and touched my arms. Surely he could feel the way the hairs raised. So I conceded, “I’ll consider it. I’m not too keen to do it again. But it’s still my decision to make.”
“I suppose I have to be happy with that at least for the moment. Char isn’t too happy that my brother called him a bastard.” I shrugged as I looked at the two arguing bitterly. I knew without a doubt that it would descend to angry sex soon enough. With Shep chiming in now and again, I was perfectly happy to leave them to it.
The men who seemed to value my opinions in that moment were the ones who deserved my attention, so I held my other hand out for Hollis, who had not said one word to me on our way home about going to the party unprepared.
He’d simply held my hand to comfort me when I was on the verge of a breakdown.
In silence, the three of us walked up the stairs and into the bedroom. Ryle raised my hand and kissed my wrist - that moment of connection as his warmth flooded into me. He gave the hand to Hollis who also kissed it and the swirling sensations of two of my men surrounding me filled me with an overwhelming love and joy.
But in the dim light of the bedroom, in the silence of communicating without words, I could admit that it was not enough.
Faced with the more intense emotions and sensations, I just couldn't grasp that cold part of me that had been my constant companion. It felt like I didn't know who I was anymore, like the continual evolution I'd suffered for years had ripped me to pieces and rebuilt me into an entirely new puzzle that I didn't quite understand yet.
Something was missing.
And I needed to find it.
“I need to feel,” I whispered and walked into Hollis’ embrace. He framed my face with his hands and laid his lips on mine before trailing down the side of my jaw, my neck and chest.
Ryle's hands were rough as they stripped off my tunic and glided over my shoulders and down my arms, the signs of his physically demanding job evident in every callous on his hands. Even as a Karfi, even with his quick healing, he worked his hands too harshly to have smooth skin. Hollis' trailed his lips over the back of my shoulder, such a juxtaposition to Ryle's hands with how perfectly smooth and soft they were. I tossed my head back, letting my hair drape over Hollis' head as he nipped at me and moved his lips to my neck to kiss me there.
His hands slid around me, gliding over my stomach to inch up to my breasts where he lifted them. As Ryle moved closer, my nipples scraped against the weathered linen of his shirt, and I groaned when he touched his mouth to mine. A brush barely felt, just a tease of his lips on mine was enough to drive me mad, and my hands went to his shirt and tugged it up over his head. He chuckled, an amused sound that brought a smile to my face before he knelt in front of me.
With Hollis' hands at my breasts, he pinched my nipples and then released one so that Ryle could envelop it within the warm suction of his mouth. His calloused fingers worked open the clasp on my silk pants, pulling down the zip so they fell to my knees where my boots restricted them. Ryle cursed, unzipping my boots one by one and sliding them off me so that my pants could follow.
When Hollis' hands left my breasts, they felt heavy as they dropped back into their natural place. The sound of Hollis undressing behind me didn't distract me from watching my massively buff man strip his pants off so I could see every line of corded muscle that rippled his body from his broad shoulders to his lickable abs and the powerful lines in his thighs.
He snatched me off the floor, lifting me into his arms as I wrapped my legs around his waist and kissed him. When my back hit our enormous bed that dominated the room, I shimmied myself until I lay in the center, with all of Ryle's mass above me, his lips ever connected to mine. He only drew back when I shifted my hips to grind up against him, wanting him to fill me.
There was a smirk there, the Gods I claimed as my own always so arrogant with my desire for them. As if I hadn't proven every day over the past six months that I wanted them more than I wanted my next breath. That my need for them went beyond the simple biology between a Sired unit, into the depths of love and devotion.
They'd done horrible things. Some even to me.
But in the end, I loved them. Somehow, someway, I felt more connected to them than I had anyone else. Considering the bond I'd had with my parents, my brother, my friends along the way, it wasn't something I said lightly.
Ryle's lips trailed down through the valley between my breasts, bypassing his favorite part of me in favor of spreading my legs wide and putting his mouth on me. My back arched, a moan escaping when Hollis laid next to us on the bed and his tongue teased the nipple I thrust into the air.
> Through the sound of Ryle's suction as he wrapped his lips around my clit, I heard the door open. I knew the moment the others entered the room, felt their presence, but it didn't matter. We had all the time in the world, all the opportunities to be together, and it no longer felt like I had to take each of them every time we had sex for fear it would be our last.
They could and would entertain themselves, and I glanced over at the daybed we'd set up on the opposite side of the room for that very purpose to find Shephard already laying himself out naked. Tate crawled up between his legs, drawing Shep's length inside his mouth while Char smacked his ass. Char's face twisted with anger, and I could only imagine how Tate must have pushed the two of them to account for the harsh way they treated him. For the way Shep drove his hips up as he buried his hand in the long. silver side of Tate's hair and used it to control him and his pace. We had lube everywhere, as was necessary with men who loved anal so damn much, and Char grabbed the bottle off the small table next to the daybed.
Ryle nipped at my clit, making me squeak as I turned my attention back to him. "Am I boring you?" he whispered against me, but his tone was anything but jealous. He was amused, as they always were, with my fascination with how they touched one another.
With how they fucked one another.
"Would you rather watch Tate get fucked than watch Ryle work your pretty little pussy over, Pet?" Hollis asked, and he slid further up the bed to put his massive length in front of my face for me to suck.
I didn't take the bait, grinning at him instead. "How will I watch Ryle if you're fucking my face?"
Ryle drew back, delivering a sharp smack to my pussy that resonated all the way inside me. I gasped, and Hollis used the opportunity Ryle had given him to drive inside my mouth. I knew my teeth scraped against him, with how unprepared I was for the intrusion. He was just too wide to avoid it entirely even in the best circumstances, but my sex God didn't seem to mind the pain that must have accompanied the pleasure. When Ryle shoved two fingers inside me harshly, returning his tongue to the apex of me, he drove me closer and closer to an orgasm. I squirmed underneath him when those fingers hooked inside me and pressed on my g-spot over and over as he sucked.
