by Kenna Bardot
I wouldn’t disappoint him.
✽✽✽
A few hours later, we stood surrounded by patches of frozen grass and a couple of frozen flowers. I managed to make the flower in front of me half blue before the tips of its petals froze to ice so brittle it was like shards of glass.
Beautiful, but totally not the point.
I let out a frustrated groan and shot a look at Lathyn as he spoke. "Not everything needs to be cold, Mireyah. When you say to yourself that you need your power, I imagine you have to be more specific," Lathyn said, sounding much like a broken record for the last few hours. "So you have to think Majele. You must have a lot of it in you. There’s so much blue in your hair and eyes."
"Sure, physically I am Majele and yes I can feel it but…." I hesitated, because I didn't want to explain what even I didn't understand quite so well. That something kept me from using my Majele.
He snapped out, “But what?”
"But I feel hesitant to use my Majele because I feel comfortable enough in my Kald." The look he gave me made it very obvious that he knew I hid something, but when he shook his head I knew he’d forgive me for it.
"You've made some progress at least. You froze only half of the flower you made half blue. So we can't say you're not trying.” For a moment, I saw that hurt and sorrow from earlier eke through in his eyes. “I understand you wouldn’t want to be completely honest with me regarding your Majele. But I hope over time you’ll find a way to be honest with yourself.”
I flinched, feeling the words in the part of me that clung to the friendly affection I felt for him. “You think I want this?” I whispered, voice catching. “I’ve never failed at anything before.”
“No, I know you well enough to know you want to succeed. Maybe I’m wrong, though I don’t think I am, but I think you have more control over it than you let on. Do you want to practice some more?”
“I should, but I feel like I’ve pushed too hard today.”
He nodded and sat back on the metal stool. “It’s up to you, but if there is someone who is good at adjusting to changes, it is you. You forget that I've watched your journey and I've seen you cope with and adapt to situations that could have destroyed a lesser person. You’ll find a way. You always do. Don't you have more you wish to accomplish?" He looked far away, over my shoulder as I dropped down on the stool directly across from him.
"I’ll never give up on my human family. I just can’t help them yet.” I sighed as Hydra came towards me and nudged her way under my hand for a stroke.
"Tame your Majele first. I can’t help you reconcile a truth I probably believe more than you do. But, ah," He laughed and nodded at something behind me. I spun around, seeing Shep for a split second before he hauled me out of the bench and wrapped his arms around me.
Lightning cracked in the sky before a tornado whirled from Shep and towards Lathyn. Lathyn simply raised a brow and with a wave, millions of tiny wisps of blue flew from his hand and broke the tornado down until it was barely a bother.
Hydra, on the other hand, made a yelping sound mixed with a growl, winging towards us and inserted herself between Shep and I with a small spurt of flame that caught the edges of Shep's long-sleeved shirt.
"Oh, you bloody annoying creature!" Shep shouted as he dropped me and flailed about to get the fire out, forgetting the ability to produce rain in his urgency. I waved at it and extinguished it with a blast of ice.
“What the fuck are you doing here with Mireyah?" He growled. I rolled my eyes, stepping away from him as I thought over my options for the situation. Of all my men to come retrieve me, Shep was the worst possible scenario.
"Oh come now, Shephard! Surely you can call me Lathyn. After all we've been through together.” He feigned a wounded look, before he continued speaking. “I’m just trying to help Mireyah with her powers." He bowed at me, showing his well-refined gentlemanly nature that peeked out every so often. As if to annoy Shep further, Hydra hurried over to nuzzle his hand.
Shep watched the interaction with narrowed eyes, and I stepped into his path. Grabbing hold of his forearms, I tightened my grip lest he let loose another tornado. He opened his mouth to speak but a tiny Springen interrupted whatever he might say when she ran out of Majele House.
“Sir Lathyn! Urgent business in the Unwanted Lands,” she said as she waved a parchment to get Lathyn’s attention.
“Give me a few minutes please. I’ll be there soon as I can. Tell them that please then come back to take me.” The Springen nodded but before she could disappear, Shep spoke, “No, don’t wait on our account. You should go and be important. That’s what you’re good at, isn’t it?”
Lathyn laughed, his lips curving into a condescending smile that only intensified Shep’s irritation. "Among many other things,” he said with a raised brow. The meaning wasn’t lost on my Tempestas who stepped forward like he might strike. Why grown men needed to goad one another with irrelevant taunts was something I would never understand. “Good bye, Mireyah and beautiful Hydra. Let me know when you’re ready for another lesson. I’ll always make time for you.” Even his parting shot was another attempt to enrage Shephard, a lie that served no other purpose.
He walked away, chuckling and without a backward glance as Shep grabbed my shoulders. "What the fuck were you doing with him?”
"You jealous oaf,” I snarled, slapping his hands away. “I need someone to teach me to use my Majele powers. I came here looking for someone to train me. We were taking a break when you arrived.”
"I get it. I just," He paused and looked away with a sigh. “Did it have to be him?”
“I tried to learn from a couple Goddesses first, but the way they explained it made no sense to me. Lathyn knows me. He knows how I process things, and he explained it better than they ever could.”
Shep sighed, dropping his forehead against mine. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I leaned into the contact with him touching me more calmly. “You aren’t helping,” he groaned. “He knows you better because he wants you for himself.”
“Whether or not that’s still true, I don’t want him. I never have. I just want to learn to embrace part of me, and I want to have Lathyn as a friend.”
Shep ignored the words, though they made his body tighten. "Will you come with me? Can your creature tolerate that?"
"Maybe if you called her by her name, which is Hydra by the way," I scolded him, unwinding my arms from around his waist to put them on my hips.
"Okay. Will Hydra and you be okay to come with me for a little side trip before we head home?” he asked. His violet eyes seemed to sparkle, a hint of excitement trickling through his emotional jealousy.
“Yes, of course. I trust you.” Curiosity piqued, I nodded as he grabbed my hand and dragged me away with him.
We walked quietly away from the Western region. I wouldn’t say it was a completely comfortable silence as there were moments of awkwardness punctuated by Shep glaring randomly at Hydra, who walked firmly in between us two. Truth be told, Hydra really wasn't any better. Any time he came too close to me, Hydra would wrap around my legs and snap her teeth at him. I had to assume that was why Shep took my hand in his and swayed it between us as we walked.
I murmured to him, "You do know that it's a bit ridiculous that you're jealous of a female baby dragon, right?"
He gave Hydra another dirty look before grimacing at me. "She doesn’t like me. I want it clear that I was here first.”
"Zeevar, spare me from possessive creatures. Where are we going?" I asked instead of following the line of thought. Conversations with Shep about his irrational jealousy led nowhere.
"You'll see. Tell your dragon to hang on," he declared when we reached the front of the line.
"Hydra," I corrected patiently with a shake of my head as he nodded at me absently and stepped forward. “Besides, she’s had trips often enough to know how it works.”
"Heading home?" the Springen asked in a friendly voice to which Shep answered with a big smi
le. "East bound, yes." He hunched his shoulders in discomfort when I threw him a dry look but before either of us could say anything, we had winked away.
A moment later we were in a different station and with his hand still firmly holding mine, Shep escorted us out and down a long path that was bordered on both sides with lush green fields. It smelled of spring and a heaviness hung in the air that I could only call humidity. It was as different from the North as it could be.
"Do you still see this place as home?" I asked him as we walked down the terracotta path. The heels of my boots clacked against the hard material as I sniffed at the smell of flowers in the air.
It spoke to a forgotten part of me - the one who found the most comfort in the presence of flora. It seemed like a lifetime ago that plans had dominated my life. The Mireyah from a time past whose biggest ambition had been to become an herbalist and make potions and concoctions using materials found in nature. It was why I wasn’t surprised that I’d become a Majele. My soul still spoke deeply to that part of my past, and I yearned to have a book in hand to identify all the flowers and bushes we passed as we walked along at a slow and steady pace.
He shrugged and answered simply, "Home is when I'm with you, Mireyah. But I can't lie. My nature makes me most comfortable here. The North is too cold, the South too hot and the West is just a bit too weird for me. Here is what feels most right. Physically anyway." I looked at him and he turned to face me. "But, no, I wouldn't stay here if I don't have the five of you. I’d have loved for you to take an Eastern color when we Sired you, but it wasn’t meant to be.”
"Is that how you decided where we would live?" It wasn't something I had thought about before, and I never thought to ask.
"Yes. Why do you think we're in the territory between North and West? You're a Kald and, to my chagrin, a Majele. So that's where you must be." He sighed and I reached over to hug him tightly.
“I’d have loved to be here. I love flowers, plants. Don’t get me wrong, I loved Wintercairn and the cold, but I yearned for flowers. Here? There’s so much of it, I almost feel overwhelmed.”
“You love plants. I remember how happy you were to volunteer to go out into the fields in Godsvail. Even then, I was scared that you would be able to escape and we’d lose you forever, Snow.” He pulled me along faster and off a fork that left the terracotta walkway behind and down a dirt path.
He opened a short gate of a dark wood and iron hinges and pulled me towards a long building with tall windows that seemed to go from floor to ceiling. “Shep, is this where you work? It’s beautiful. I’d want to go to work every day if this is what waited for me.”
“You’re shining, even more than usual. You look beautiful in nature like this. More luscious and more alive.” He pulled me in close, rubbed his cheek against mine. When he pulled back, I noticed a tall, lanky man with a messy crop of green hair waving at us from a few feet away. "Someone’s waving, Shep.”
He turned and a smile lit his face. “Wayne. This is my wonderful wife, Mireyah.” He spun me around and I laughed before waving at his friend.
“The dragon’s Hydra. She’s mine.” I pointed at Hydra, who was busy running back and forth through the field. I couldn’t blame her. All that wide open space tempted me to do the same.
"Hey, Mireyah! I'm Wayne Leven. It's a pleasure to finally meet you. Shep has talked about you a lot. From the moment I'd met him, he's been talking about you." He reached forward to shake my hand and stopped to look down, seeming to realize that his hands were dirty from the soil. I reached forward and grabbed it anyway, shaking it politely.
"Nice to meet you, Wayne. Shep doesn't tell me much about his duties here but it smells incredible.” I took a deep breath and gave him a wide smile.
"Well, that's a lovely thing to say to a Leven. If there's anything we love more than anything, it's life. You enjoy yourselves now. I'll see you tomorrow, Shep!" He walked off, whistling as he went, and I watched as some of the plants bloomed in his wake, giving off a beautiful scent that reminded me of the very short-lived spring back in Wintercairn.
Shep dragged me away and towards the glass-wrapped building. At the doorway, he grabbed the doorknob and looked down at Hydra. "No burning anything. This is the worst place for you to have one of your temper tantrums, okay?"
I reached down to give Hydra a stroke down the back. "She'll behave. Won't you, Hydra?" As a response, my dragon cooed a long low sound that was designed to make anyone melt. I knew her well enough to know that she was probably also thinking of being naughty. "Hydra. No treats for a week if you burn anything here down."
She huffed and a stream of smoke shot out of her nose but I knew she understood. I nodded to Shep, who opened the door and led me in. What I noticed first was a part of the area that looked like it was bathed in sunlight. It was so bright.
Thinking at first that it was just artificial lighting, I looked to the ceiling but I was surprised to see that there weren't any. It was, indeed, inexplicably sunlight inside a building.
Would the wonders of Demiorgo never cease?
"This is the Dijari fruit plantation. I spend most of my time and energy here when I'm on duty because it is the most fickle of all our crops. It needs constant sunshine but for an hour out of every thirty-five when it has to be plunged in darkness and drenched in water." He moved forward and plucked one off the shrubbery. He held it out to me and I parted my lips so he could feed me the delectable fruit.
"It's delicious." I smiled around the juice because it was. And not just because it was sweet and tart and juicy but because it reminded me of when my men had first shown me that they loved me - enough to share this food meant only for Gods with me.
"I work here because you love this fruit. I want to make sure there’s always plenty to go around."
"It's a wonderful place to work.” I spun around to take in the area. There was a peace in it that made me envy his spending his days there.
"I'm sorry," he said and my head whipped around to face him because Shep never truly apologized. Especially not for being jealous.
"What?"
"I'm sorry that this is all I’ll ever be. I'm just a planter. I can't do anything more to help you. To give you the kind of status Lathyn could have. I wish I could, but that isn’t me." His voice was bitter as he plucked a fruit from the plant and squished it in between his fingers. He turned away and Hydra let out a small sound of distress. Even with her dislike for Shephard, she felt my concern for his moment of vulnerability. How he must hurt to get to a point where he showed me it so vividly.
“I had to watch them take you away and not have anything I can do about it. Nobody gave me anything because I wasn’t important. If Lathyn had asked after his wife, they’d have told him whatever he wanted to know.” He pulled me to him then and just wrapped his arms around me, squeezing hard.
"If I’d wanted a man like Lathyn, I would have chosen him. I chose you, all five of you, because you were what I wanted for myself,” I whispered, cupping his square jaw and staring up at him. “Every job is important. Every part we play in the world as a whole matters. You are not less than him, just because you have less status. You’re also much, much younger than he is. Who knows who we will all be when we’ve been alive as long as he has.” I paused, tears stinging my eyes as I thought over the words. “But there’s one very important thing you’ve forgotten about Lathyn. He’s alone. In all his centuries of life, he’s never had what we found in one another.” I wished that I could make Shep understand the mix of sympathy and friendship I felt for the other man, but with Shep’s rampant jealousy, slowly was the only way I could proceed.
“I can’t stand to lose you, Mireyah. You complete me.” He touched his lips to my wrist and it was a storm of sensations that speared inside me, washing through me like a tsunami.
“You won’t, Shep. I love you.” I kissed him on the lips and watched his lips turn up in a smile.
“Then promise me you won’t ever go to the Majele again.”
> I reeled back at his words and shook my head. “He can help me.” I told him.
“I thought you loved me.”
“Asking me not to do something that’s bringing harm to no one isn’t love, Shep.” I raised a brow as Hydra wrapped her tail around my arm. “Maybe we should go home.” The vulnerable moment was forgotten between us, lost to his hasty words and inability to see past his own insecurity.
“Maybe we should.” He stomped off and I followed him out. I hated that such a beautiful moment in a perfect place was ruined.
Maybe one day he’d bring me back.
✽✽✽
Shep was still on edge by the time we got home, and I felt every piece of his body as it trembled with fury. It wasn't as if I'd gone to Majele House seeking Lathyn out, but I also couldn't bring myself to reassure him that I wouldn't in the future.
I still felt nothing for Lathyn aside from friendship, but I did feel like I needed that friendship in my life. Women could have male friends. I just had to hope that Lathyn was capable of looking beyond our history and the pain we shared. The awkwardness would fade as he realized just how suited to my Sires I was, and it wasn't like he'd spent the last six months wallowing in celibacy.
I had no doubt that he'd had a number of Goddesses to comfort him since his courtship of me came to an end. Maybe Noelle. Maybe Aristela. Maybe even other Sylfes.
It didn't bother me in the slightest, because I genuinely wanted the best for him. I hoped that he found love sooner than later, because I couldn't imagine surviving for centuries without finding the one for me. I'd been blessed with five in a very short lifespan by comparison. I couldn't imagine how lonely it must have been for him.
As soon as we walked through the front door, it became very obvious that the men had been waiting. We were later than we should have been, since Shep had taken me to the Dijari fields after my training at Majele House. I knew that the fear and relief on their faces would take some time to heal after my absence when I’d bonded with Hydra. Given the precarious position it put me in to have my life tied to a baby dragon's, it only made sense they would worry. Once Hydra was older it would get easier, when she was more indestructible.
