by Kenna Bardot
“Sorry I’m late. What was that about?”
Haisley gave his shoulder a squeeze as he sat down beside her. “Mireyah wants to apply for the Cadre.”
“Really?”
I nodded, all seriousness. I was too mad to speak.
“Okay then. Guess I’m going to have to train you harder. Are you okay?”
I was shaking but I just squared my shoulders. I was ready and determined.
✽✽✽
“Are we simply toys to you? You put us together in a box then just watch us go crazy?” I stormed into Zeevar’s throne room, my right hand clenched around a toy plastic soldier.
"Why hello, Mireyah. Please, do come storming and make yourself welcome. I don’t mind at all.” He raised an eyebrow at me as he lounged on what looked so much like a throne.
“They let me in at the gates.”
“Of course they did, my dear Mireyah. I've been expecting you," he said with a shrug. "I'm surprised it took you so long to come see me."
"I've only been a Dragon Guard for a few weeks.” He poured a dark red liquid into a crystal goblet, swirling the liquid inside as he watched me.
"You were never a very patient creature, my dear," he smirked as he took a sip. "Tell me, what is it that finally made you come?" When he leaned down to the floor, Hydra abandoned my side in favor of approaching the Core God who scooped her up into his lap so that he could dote on her.
"You allow prejudice to run rampant in your Dragon Guard. I have spent weeks being ostracized and insulted by the Gods you claim as your own. It isn't acceptable, and it seems it's time someone was willing to tell you what your negligence has wrought."
He stared back at me with an impassive face as I glared at him, and just when I thought I'd read the situation wrong, he chuckled. "You are certainly never boring, Mireyah. I will give you that much."
"You'll do nothing then?" I asked. "Do you enjoy seeing your Dragon Guard poisoned with corruption and elitism? Are they not your crowning achievement?"
He stood, gently depositing Hydra to the floor as he strolled closer to me and got so close I had to stare up into his cruel face. "Your fate was decided long ago. You were meant to join the Dragon Guard for a reason, whether it is so that you may bring about it's downfall or change it for the better, I don't know. No one knows. But what I do know, is that when destiny works so hard to bring us one who strives to alter the status quo, change is a hard fought war."
"What does that even mean?" I asked, scrubbing a hand over my face in frustration. I wanted to make a change. Despite the fact that my life was as satisfying as it could be with five Sires I truly loved and a duty that satisfied me, I still remembered the most vulnerable person in my past. My hand tightened around the toy he had given me on my last day before going to Godsvail Academy. In a little over five years, he would have to undergo his Collection.
I was determined to help him before that could happen.
With Zeevar, there was no chance of me getting the answers I wanted, and I hadn't thought to come and make demands of Zeevar and stroll out with the Dragon Guard reprimanded. I knew, deep down, that all the changes I sought would take time and would need to come from me, lest I look like a child who ran to a Core God when the others couldn't play nice.
But it would have been nice to at least get some acknowledgement that I was on the right path. Or that I wasn't alone in desiring that change to begin with. I couldn't do it without support. I would fail before I even started.
"It means that you have quite the journey ahead of you. If you proceed with intelligence, even the most elitist of Gods will have no choice but to accept and even respect you. But you must not act impulsively. You need guidance, Mireyah," he said, and the pointed way he stared at me made me suck in a deep breath. "You have always needed someone to guide you. You were just too proud to see it."
He turned, going back for his chair. I released a shuddering breath as my hand tightened around Varo’s toy. Emotion stung my eyes, the reality that I’d burned the only bridge to the other side of my goal. "He won't help me."
"You underestimate just how fascinated he was with your fire and how much he wanted to help you wield it like the weapon it truly is. He will always help you with the cause. Because it is his destiny as much as yours."
"I can't help but wonder what he will expect in return."
Zeevar scoffed. "Are you aware that Gods who break the vows of marriage are condemned to the Unwanted Lands? It is one of our most vehement laws. The moment you were Sired, you became off limits in a way that even Lathyn Majele cannot violate. Besides, I suspect it is only a matter of time before he realizes that you were nothing but a stepping stone on the way to his true purpose."
"I don't suppose you would tell me how I'm to serve as a stepping stone then?" I asked, wincing when Hydra puffed hot air on my hand in her impatience.
“No. I am not one to toy or interfere with fate. Doing so has grave consequences. In the Crimson City, one of my Air Mages has emerged and defied the balance. I enjoy her, watching her journey and her growth, but her very existence will have repercussions for centuries to come. The last thing we need is for me to add to that by altering your fate.”
“I wish I had more of a direction.”
"You will know what to do when the time is right. It will be much more entertaining to watch you experience it, I think," he said ominously. "Tell your Sire to add some space to the extension he’s building for Hydra. She'll be large. Even for a dragon."
I glanced at the baby dragon pawing at my boots. "How do you know that?"
“I know. Speaking of your Sires, remember that I can only tolerate you lot bursting into my private domain for so much. I am still Zeevar.” I opened my mouth to speak but he held up a hand to stop me.
"Goodbye, Mireyah," he declared and with a flourish, stood and strode away, leaving me and Hydra alone with his gigantic throne. I glanced down at my dragon and smiled.
Wondered how big she would be. Ryle would be so very thrilled.
✽✽✽
I should have gone home after my conversation with Zeevar. Should have thought things through.
In fact, I knew it was ironic.
Zeevar had only just told me I couldn't be impulsive if I wanted to be successful in my hope of bringing change to Godsfell.
And yet I stood outside Majele House despite the late hour. Lathyn had probably already gone home, had left the center of his House along with the hustle and bustle I had seen when I had visited earlier in the day.
But somehow, I knew he was there. I couldn’t explain it, but I knew. Knew I was on the right path finally. When the door opened for me, I tried not to startle in surprise. It would never stop surprising me they welcomed me in Majele House, that I was a part of it. Given the way the Kalds had treated me, and my lack of Majele powers, it seemed far more intuitive that they would turn me away.
But they never did. Not even Lathyn, really. Even for all the shit I put him through.
I went into the main sitting room, and my eyes immediately landed on him in the corner. He was bent over a table, Noelle right across from him. They played the same game she had been practicing with Aris that day when I’d met them in the Majele gardens. She flirted with him, displaying herself, but he remained focused on the game. It brought a smile to my face, that I knew him in a way that was so different from how everyone else perceived him. If nothing else, over the long courtship at Sylfeshire, I'd gotten to see the softer, kinder side of the political God who kept everyone at a respectable distance.
With a deep breath, I strolled up to their game. The Goddess glared at me, and it was sad to note that the fact she saw me as a threat had erased any chance that we could be friends. Because the fact was, no matter what I did about Lathyn, it was clear he wasn’t interested in her. “Are you a real Majele yet, Mireyah Dracari?” She emphasized my name with such vitriol I almost turned around and left. How quickly she turned her back on one of her own.
All for
a man I never wanted.
"Noelle, please. Hello, Mireyah," he mumbled, not glancing up from the board. I smiled, the fact that he'd sensed me so clearly making me shake my head.
"Hello, Lathyn," I murmured. "Can we talk for a moment?"
"It's late," he said instead of answering, but his blue eyes finally turned up to mine.
"We're both here," I shrugged, even if it felt like his answer would be the most important answer of my life. Like it would complete the path we both knew we were meant to walk side by side. As allies. As friends.
He sighed, excusing himself from the table as he walked back to the front doors. The night air was warm and balmy, and I both appreciated and dreaded the privacy. Our conversations since my Ascension had been incredibly limited, with witnesses around us. We both knew to keep our distance as we sat on opposite ends of a bench and turned our knees in to face one another. "What do you want?"
I winced, because I'd thought we made progress. But I supposed it was obvious I'd come to ask something of him. Something that I realistically had no right to do. "You offered to guide me once. I was too dumb to understand what you meant, but I get it now," I said.
"That was when I thought you would be my wife," he pointed out with a sigh. His eyes held mine, silently pleading for me to get to the point. I knew, in his mind at least, that his offer had gone hand in hand with a marriage to him. I just needed him to see that the two things could be separate. That we could benefit one another without there being a marriage between us.
"You can't guide a friend?" I asked, hoping against all chance that he might see it my way. Hydra climbed up onto the bench between us, serving as a much-needed buffer when Lathyn's eyes cooled as he stared at me.
"We aren’t friends." He averted his gaze, and I saw the pain flash in his eyes. My hands reached out to touch, but I pulled back because I knew there were people watching. I didn’t want to create rumours that could hurt both of us and the cause I truly hoped we could work on together.
"That isn't true. We got to know one another and become friends in Sylfeshire. I know it wasn't what you wanted, but didn't you want more for yourself than an alliance parading as a marriage? You deserve so much more than a wife who wouldn't love you," I told him.
He scoffed as he stared at me before turning his attention back to Majele House. I didn't miss the way a group had gathered at the window to watch us as we spoke, and it killed me to know that the gossip surrounding me would never go away. I saw Aristela watching us. Noelle throwing me poisonous looks. But I had to accept it to an extent. If we were to spark change then we had to get used to the fact that they would talk about us.
"Don't act like you did it for me. You did it because it was what you wanted. Do you have any ability to imagine what it is like to be alone for centuries? Our marriage may not have been what you desired for yourself, but you do not get to tell me what it would have been to me." The venom in his tone surprised me, and I quickly nodded.
"You're right, I didn’t do it for you but I did it for me. That doesn’t make me any less sorry that I hurt you. Truly, I never wanted that." I paused, letting the apology sink in and some tension left his body.
"I needed to hear that you understood me. But I’m blameless, in truth. You were honest about your feelings for them from the beginning. I was just too arrogant to see them for what they were and assumed I could change your heart, your mind or both. The fault falls on both of us,"
“I can forgive you if you can forgive me,” I offered him my outstretched hand. He shook it and even more of the tension melted. It was nice that he could at least acknowledge that I'd been honest, and something in me eased. As much as I'd dreaded this part of the conversation I knew we needed to have, at least it felt like we were one step closer to working together.
“Of course. It’s done.” He shook my hand and gave it a pat before letting go. “Not even a year ago, I would have kissed your hand. But today, I can shake it in friendship. You mean the world to me, Mireyah. But perhaps not in the way I thought you did.”
"You believed in me. You were the first to see something in me. Now I’m in a position where I could do something. Be something. We can finally make changes and achieve them in the way we’ve always wanted.”
"The way I want?" he asked, his lips tipping up into a disbelieving smile.
"You wouldn't have been so drawn to me and helping me with my cause if you didn't believe in it, Lathyn. You are not a man who can be corrupted by something as simple as desire for a woman."
He laughed, glancing back at the windows briefly. "You're the only one who seems to feel that way."
I sighed, placing my elbows on my knees as I leaned forward. "Most of what I've encountered so far has been hatred for my heritage, but since joining the Dragon Guard, certain things and some people have acted differently around me," I admitted, thinking back to the party at Pax Tovenaar's house. Before the Dragon Guard, I would not have received an invitation.
And it was simply because I had become worthwhile.
"A position of power is both a blessing and a curse. You will never know someone's true intentions towards you. You'll never be able to tell when someone lies to your face or when they are genuinely interested in what you have to offer as a person. If we were to do this, you would have to be willing to be the face of your revolution. The story of a human who rose to become a bonded Dragon Guard in a matter of less than seven years is impressive, and it will be enough to spark conversations." Even as I had to agree with him, dread pooled in my stomach.
"Surely, you would be a more promising figurehead-"
"I will be the political backing you need, but the people will much more appreciate your journey. It is more scandalous, and will both work to your favor and against you. It will be a long road, and you need to be prepared for the consequences that may come from it. People will gossip more. They'll invade your privacy." His eyes burned into mine, imploring me to understand what he was saying.
But I already did. I accepted the consequences of what I needed to happen. They would be worth it in the end if I was successful.
"You'll invite cruelty to your men as well," he pointed out. "You should talk to them, as it affects all of you it's not a decision you can make alone."
I would deal with that but instead looked at him hopefully as Hydra stretched out her wings to rest on his legs. "Is that a yes?"
"I'll consider the best way to navigate through it, but it isn't a no, Mireyah."
I resisted the urge to jump up and hug him and instead gave his hand a quick squeeze.
When he smiled at me and squeezed back, I considered it a win.
Score one for being impulsive.
✽✽✽
“I’m home!” I let the door close behind me. The last mile or so before home, I had run after realizing just how late it was and how likely it was that my Sires were looking for me. This time, because I had been following an impulse, I’d forgotten to let any of them know where I was going.
“Mireyah!” Shep barrelled towards me, plucking me off my feet to wrap his arms around me. As she usually did, Hydra displayed her disapproval by making a yowling sound before jumping into Ryle’s arms. “I was so worried.”
I took his hands and holding them, ran them over my face and body. “I’m here, Shep. Right here. I will not disappear again. I swear to you. I’ll always come back to you.” I looked up to find my four other men watching. I smiled. “To all of you.”
“Where were you, Mireyah?” Tate asked as Shep let me go to allow me to kiss and hug the others, which I posted haste starting with Tate.
“Majele. I had urgent business there.” I stopped and nodded. “Yes, I saw Lathyn.” I met Char’s eyes, and I knew he recognized my statement for what it was - a step forward. I refrained from telling them why I had been there but assumed it wasn’t exactly lying when even Lathyn had not given me promises.
“Was it a successful visit then, Mireyah?” Hollis asked as he stole Hydra from Ryle
to give her kisses.
I slipped my hand inside my pocket where I had placed Varo’s toy and smiled. “It’s looking promising.”
“How about we take this to the bedroom, Mireyah? Is that something you want too?” Ryle whispered in my ear as he kissed the side of my neck.
I turned around and wrapped my arms around his neck. “That’s looking promising too.”
And he swept me off my feet. I giggled all the way to the bedroom, all thoughts of hidden information flying from my mind.
Thirteen
Mireyah
“Not that I don’t enjoy spending time with you, but where are we going?” I asked the tiny Tempestas who dragged me along with her from the training center in the South of the Reserve. We made our way North, passing by the Springen Express in the West along the way.
“Medical center. Hydra is due a check-up from Jasmine, but Madi is back too. You can meet her finally.” She stopped to bounce on her heels as she turned to me.
“Madi?” I felt like the name was familiar, and though it took me a moment, I remembered why. Patrick mentioned her on the day of the ritual when we said goodbye to Trellis and Kimba.
“Yeah, Madi’s been gone for a while. She was so broken up about Trellis and Kimba that she had to take time away. Corban was more than happy to grant her that, but she needed to come back. And now that she has, you need to meet her and so does Hydra.”
She skidded to a stop in front of the medical building, pushing it open enthusiastically and shouting. “Jas! Madi! Where are you?”
“Here!” a voice shouted from a door to the left and Haisley tugged on my hand. I looked down at Hydra and shrugged. No choice but to go with her.
“Madi!” Haisley shrieked the moment we entered the room, rushing towards a very thin redhead, who rushed from behind a rather large marble island in the middle. “Haisley! I wondered when you’d come and visit me.”
“As soon as I could, obviously,” Haisley gushed as she wrapped her arms around the redhead, touching a hand to her cheek. “How are you, sweetie?”
