by Kenna Bardot
He shrugged. “Just about as much as you’re mad at me, I suppose. I still love you anyway.” He ran a hand down the side of my face as Hydra finally spotted Aes and Oryn’s house and flew over the fence.
The sound of her clawing at the door caught the occupants’ attention and a moment later Oryn swung it open to reveal messy hair. “Hi,” he said, grinning down at Hydra. He looked up and spotted us, waving cheerily. "Hi, Mireyah, Ryle!"
I waved back and tried not to be embarrassed that he looked as if he’d rolled out of bed.
He was adorable and the way he rubbed at the back of his neck as he walked over to open the gate for me showed me that he and his wife were likely having a lie in.
Hand still in Ryle’s, Oryn gestured us in through the gate and towards the house. "Sorry, Oryn. Looks like we woke you up. I didn’t think.”
“I’ll be leaving you here then, Winter Girl.” Ryle shivered in the cold of the Kald territory. “Have a good time.”
“You can stay a bit, Ryle, we’re yet to have breakfast,” Oryn invited.
Ryle shook his head but smiled. “No, it’s fine. I still have work tonight so I should try for some more sleep.” He gave me a kiss on the forehead but we all turned our heads towards the open doorway at a loud crashing sound.
“Hydra,” I concluded. Ryle chuckled and with a wave he walked off. I gave Oryn a sheepish look. “I really am sorry, Oryn. To be such a nuisance so early in the morning.”
"Wasn't sleeping in so much as just spending a lazy morning. It's no bother, really. I know Astraea will be thrilled to see you and Hydra." He tilted his head and stopped and together, we listened to the sounds of cooing along with what appeared to be crackling flames in the next room. "In fact, I think Hydra's found Aes."
"She's a smart one, and she loves to be the center of attention." I followed him into the kitchen just in time to find Astraea lighting the fireplace with Hydra.
As soon as the fire was lit, Astraea turned to give me a warm look. "Hey, Mireyah! I'm just bonding with your baby a bit. She's just a delight, isn't she?"
"Yeah, that she is." I let out a heavy breath as I dropped on the chair in front of Astraea that Oryn pulled out for me.
"Uh-oh." Astraea shot a look at Hydra. "What's wrong, Mireyah?"
"I just need an opinion, Astraea." I sighed again and rested my chin on the palm of my hand.
“Talk to me.” I watched Hydra play with the embers in the fireplace like they were her own personal toys.
“I attended a party in the West yesterday with Ryle and Tate. Lathyn’s birthday party.” I sighed again.
“Uh-oh,” she repeated.
“Well, it’s not a huge uh-oh really,” I clarified. “I mean, yes, there are rumours that I’m fooling around with Lathyn but that’s not even really what has me so fucked up. I thought they didn’t care much for my plans to inspire and lead a revolution, Aes. I knew that they wouldn’t actively stop me, but I thought they would just watch from the sidelines.”
She regarded me thoughtfully. “And what made you feel that?”
“They never brought it up, and I know I never brought it up either,” I inserted quickly when she looked like she might object. “But I’d mention it offhand now and again, and no one really paid much attention to it. They didn’t stop me or tell me not to do it, but it felt different from actively wanting to achieve the same dream as mine.”
“But something changed your opinion,” she prompted, and I nodded. “Yes. All this time, the work they’ve been doing has been all carefully laid plans to reach a standing that would benefit me in the future.”
“Okay. What’s wrong then?”
I pulled at my hair in frustration. “No one thought to tell me. They just went along with their lives, doing what they were doing, but I thought it was just what they wanted. The fact that we never stopped to talk about anything, I just don’t know what to do with that.”
“Maybe they thought it was unspoken. That your goal was their goal too because a marriage is just that, a melding of goals. A support that you can always rely on.”
Oryn sat down next to her and gave her a kiss on the temple. “Yes, it is.”
“I’m so happy you two have that. But do I? The things they did to me in Godsvail. The shit I had to stand to survive Sylfeshire and all for what? So they could have me. I understand they love me, I really do. But why does it feel like sometimes, it’s not as right as it should be?” I laid my hands on the table, my gaze riveted on my wrist where the marks my Sire gave me dominated the space. Hydra went quiet and before long she rested her head on my lap, nuzzling into me in comfort. I took to petting her, soothing myself with the familiar comfort of her warmth.
Oryn opened his mouth but shut it. I shook my head. “Just say it.”
He nodded, pulling Aes in closer as he spoke, “As your friend, you should know that there is always something about a relationship that you need to work on, but it’s the love that matters in the end. If you truly love them, remember that. It's nothing too different from what we talked about in that alcove where we would spend time together. The way you struggled then is the same struggle you have now.”
“It’s the five of them, Mireyah. You fell in love with them even after what they did to you. What others would have found revolting, you managed to look past and find a true and everlasting love. Without the tremendous love between you, I find it hard to believe that you would have as easily adjusted to life as a Sylfe or a Goddess. Maybe it's because Oryn and I had a longer journey to get here, but now that we're together and happy, I can’t stand to think of the years I wasted. Our future is beautiful now, and it’s worth fighting for.” She squeezed Oryn's hand and smiled when he squeezed back.
"It was all worth it in the end," Oryn murmured as he gave her temple another kiss. He rested his forehead there for a moment and smiled. It was such a simple, heart-breaking moment, but I knew they were right.
"I suppose you're right, but I don’t take our love for granted. I know how lucky I am. I just don’t know how much I can keep compromising before I lose myself."
"You should only compromise enough for you to find yourself in a position where you can love the person you are at the end of it better than what you were when you entered. Mireyah, I fully support your goals and dreams and plans because I know you and I know you can do them well. You fight the fight and will do that well because it’s what you were meant to do. If at any point, you falter in any direction, always go back to the love." Astraea reached forward and gave my hands a pat.
I heaved out a breath and stood. "I should go. I'm bothering the two of you."
Astraea gave me an offended look as I did. "No, don't. You can have a late breakfast here or, better yet, lunch. This pretty thing isn't going to leave. Are you, Hydra darling?"
And when I saw that Hydra had moved from me and snuggled into Astraea's lap, I knew I was stuck.
“Okay. Thanks, Aes, Oryn.”
✽✽✽
I walked with Aes to the Express station, parting ways with her to head home with Hydra while she reported for duty in the Southern region.
“Hydra, look, he added to your extension!” I rushed up to it, pouting a bit at the rope he strung around the wing he had built to jut out of the kitchen that would house Hydra once she was too big to fit inside the house.
The idea popped into my brain easily, and I swung my arm up and pointed at Hydra and she lifted off the ground with a fast and graceful flap of the wings. She peered into the area through one of the windows at the top.
Her pleasure at what she saw coursed through me, and I bounced on my heels. “Oh, you’re so excited for that, are you? I wonder when we can go in.” I sighed. Truth of the matter was, Ryle did so many things for us - small things like that we didn’t explicitly thank him for. To a certain extent, most of my men did. Shep kept the lawn well-tended, Tate made sure we had supplies, and Hollis did most of the cooking.
Char was the only one I could not come up with m
uch for, but then he was also always working. Up first in the morning, the last one to come home at night. But besides him, there was one other member of the relationship who I felt wasn’t making enough effort to show appreciation.
"Hydra, I want to do something for them." My dragon curled her tail around her body as she looked up at me. Like she was there as an ear to listen, one to understand. And perhaps, really, she was. After all, I was as much a part of her as she was of me.
"What do you say we run to the Express and wait for them, huh? They'd like that, right? Seeing me there waiting for them." I nodded. “Yes, that’s exactly what I’ll do. I’ll even cook dinner so Hollis won’t have to do it when he gets home.” I moved toward the house, Hydra at my feet. A quick glance around reminded me of how little time I’d spent there more recently. To the point that the home I genuinely loved had become a place to sleep. "Marriage is hard, Hydra. I understand why Lys was so against it, but I’m not giving it up for the world." I looked back at her and emotion clogged my throat.
"You're getting too big, too fast. Before long, you won’t be able to fit inside the door.” As Hydra moved to go into the house with me, I sighed and laughed. "But today, you’re small enough to come in and help me. That's loosely translated to please don't burn down any parts of the house while your mommy is busy doing something else."
She cooed, which I took as a good sign.
Even in our house, cradled in between the North and West with temperatures to rival Wintercairn, spending an entire afternoon in the kitchen was enough to make anyone sweat profusely. And for someone as unused to and not fond of heat as I was, it was especially torturous.
But, it was something I did voluntarily, because I was determined to make the best damn meal any of my men had ever seen before. And I didn't want to do it just because I wanted to impress them, but because I wanted to show them how much they meant to me. I wanted to show them I still thought about them and appreciated them and the love we all had for one another that had led to us living in a beautiful house made of wood and stone in the forested lands in between West and North.
That didn't mean that cooking was any more pleasant to me than it had ever been. I was only glad that my mother, back when I'd been human, had been very strict in instilling in her children the need to know how to cook. I'd likened it to the potions and mixes I'd made in the shop with Serenity so I hadn't minded it too much but the last thing I'd thought I'd use it for was a make-up meal for my five God husbands in Demiorgo.
As I diced up some onions for the sauce, fresh from the fields that the Leven and Tempestas cared for in the East, I had to laugh that my mom's recipes were being used in a place so far removed from her that she probably had no cause to imagine it. Being a Goddess meant that my access to supplies was easier than for a struggling family in Wintercairn, and there was evidence of that in the lavish layered cake I baked for the guys frosted in the way my mother taught me.
It was the first thing I'd done and now it was chilling in the tiny room off the kitchen I'd cooled down with an effortless swipe of ice on the walls.
I smiled and put the onions in a pan along with a bit of salt so they could caramelize. I cut up a rather large pat of butter to add to it for flavor but gave it a stir first to make sure it wasn't browning too fast and burnt.
I walked over to check on the cake and get a bottle of red wine from the room off the kitchen, opening it easily. I took a glass and poured myself half a glass.
I added the butter into the onions when they smelled sweet from the caramelization. I gave it one more stir and lowered the temperature to allow them to soften even more.
I checked the temperature on the roast and, deciding it was perfect, pulled it out of the oven, even managing to catch the wall of the oven and burning my arm, to let any carryover take it the rest of the way through. I set it down on the counter to cool and eyed the tray of vegetables I planned on roasting as I sprayed my burn with a bit of ice.
Should I roast it before or after I went to the station to pick them up? I walked to the backdoor, opening it to look outside. Hydra darted out between my legs to chase after some creature that was minding its own business in the woods. A frisson of fear snaked up my spine, a feeling that something or someone was watching and waiting.
Maybe picking them up wasn’t such a good idea after all. I’d made dinner. I could just roast the vegetables and make a sauce and that would be enough to celebrate and compromise. The paths were too scary once the sun had set.
“Hydra! Come back and play in the yard!.” Tongue lolling, she bounded from the woods and her joy slapped back whatever nerves and fear I had initially felt. Satisfied that she would be in sight, I moved back into the kitchen.
I eyed the vegetables and decided I would do them last. I would set the table first. Inside the cabinet, I took the set of plates, sighing when I realized that the ones at the bottom were already dusty. As it was a set of six, it was a painful thing to discover because it meant we never took meals together anymore.
No, the fact was that since I'd gotten Hydra; I was sure that breakfast was probably the only meal I'd eaten with a majority if not all of my men. They weren’t wrong when they said the Dragon Guard had taken up most of my time.
I went back to inspect the onions I had caramelizing and when I saw they were soft and brown like Tali said they should be, took the wine and poured most of the contents into the pan. I lowered the temperature further and, eyeing the liquid in the bottle, decided to finish the rest myself. When she taught me the recipe, her favorite, Tali hadn’t allowed me to drink the wine since she had declared me too young. But I’d watched her pour and enjoy it.
As I poured my wine, I leaned against the counter and looked at the table I'd set and the meal I prepared. Over my shoulder, I looked to check on Hydra. My heart thudded in my chest when I realized she wasn’t there any longer.
Hydra?
I searched for her through the bond, feeling her even if I couldn’t see her. She was there, a steady pulse within me, but it was like something blocked her from reaching me. I moved to the door to find her.
My back split open with a sharp, fiery blade as Hydra’s voice echoed in my head. She howled as her pain and panic blinded me.
I forced myself to stand, to ignore the pain, my hand slipping over the kitchen counter, swiping at the bottle of wine and the wine glass half-filled with the red liquid. It crashed to the floor behind me as I ran out of the warmth of the kitchen and into the cool air outside.
Where was she?
She roared again as her fear overtook me. As it closed my throat so I could barely breathe. I called out to her through the bond.
Hydra.
✽✽✽
I raced blindly through the yard, my mind screaming for Hydra. Without a thought, I ran towards the path I’d just minutes before rejected. The change to darkness was instantaneous, like someone had blown the candle out when it was the only source of light.
“Hydra!”
She roared, nearer this time. Much nearer, and I rushed in her direction. Following where our bond led me, I broke through the trees and into the clearing to see her, wings outstretched, broken and burnt twigs, leaves and branches before her.
I collapsed and crawled towards her, grabbing her as she threw herself at me. “What happened?”
I looked over at the copse of trees beyond and felt eyes on me. In my arms, Hydra growled and roared at it with all the anger she possessed.
Her pain threatened to suffocate me, and I didn’t want to think of how much it hurt for her. I struggled to my feet and carted her back to our house. Exhausted and blind with fear, I collapsed on the patio and drew her in close.
I closed my eyes and shut out the world. She was in my arms. She was safe. I would keep her safe. Her claws bit into me, but I welcomed it. That pain that assured me she was with me.
I heard a sound, and my instinct to protect reared. I pointed my hand towards the sound and let out a spear of ice in the dire
ction of the figure that appeared from the path.
"Zeevar, what the fuck? Mireyah? Hydra?" The voice was familiar, safe. Hollis was here. Hollis would help. "What's wrong? What's happening?"
“Hollis,” I said in a voice ravaged by tears and panic. I reached out and his hand grabbed mine, squeezed.
He ran towards us and collapsed beside me, the tips of his fingertips touching the burn I'd gotten when I'd caught the side of the oven. "Are you alright? Did she burn you? The house?" He looked over and I could plainly see the worry there.
I took a few deep, steadying breaths as I attempted to decipher his words. As I attempted to form my own in the chaos created by a dragon overwhelmed by emotion. A dragon who was half of me.
"The house?" I shook my head to clear the cobwebs from my brain. "No, she didn't burn anything. I came out of the house and she was like this. I don't know what happened."
"Okay. Then why is there black smoke coming from the kitchen?" Hollis said it calmly as he laid a hand on Hydra's back. To my astonishment, my dragon moved her head to look at Hollis and through the fear and panic, I felt a small pinprick of love.
“I was cooking for us.” I tried to remember what had happened. It was so hard. I didn’t care anymore. I destroyed the meal I cooked in memory of my sister. I didn’t care. Hydra was the most important out of everything.
“I’ll fix it.” He stood up and looked down at me. “Or do you want me to stay?”
I shook my head. “No, I’m good. You’re here now. We’re good.”
He walked off, and I heard the kitchen door shut behind him. I wrapped my arms around Hydra and let the calm work through us both.
Seventeen
Mireyah
Hydra was jumpy. She scurried behind me at random moments, but her tension was always a very tangible feeling inside me.
Her being nervous made me equally tense, and I wanted to have her checked. She was safe, yes, but she was far from settled. When even my Sires noticed a difference, I’d agreed to finally take her when they expressed their worries. We walked into the medical building and down the hall towards Jas’ office.
