"And I'm sure what you do is perfectly fine," Miss Chalmers observed. She glanced at Pastor Joseph. "The pastor thought it might be advantageous for me to pay a visit. He was coming out today, and he suggested I accompany him. Talk with you and meet the children. Then we can try to arrange when they might come to school. And what could be done for them on those days when they cannot attend. The ranch is such a long distance from Inspiration." Miss Chalmers ran her gaze around the parlor and then looked out the window to the yard. "You have a wonderful place here, Beth," she said. "It's a perfect place for two children to grow up. As long as they receive some kind of instructions. I don't want them to miss out. Lessons are an important part of growing up."
"Indeed they are," the pastor agreed. "I like to hope that my own lessons in church stay with each member of my congregation for a very long time."
"I can vouch for that," Landon said. "I recall one particular lesson earlier this year. It made quite an impact on my brother, Kyle. It turned his life around. And it brought him back to the faith."
"I'm glad to hear it," the pastor said, visibly pleased. "The Lord speaks and we listen." Pastor Joseph looked knowingly at Beth. "If we choose to open our hearts, of course," he added. She wondered why he'd seemed to address that last comment to her.
The chat continued for a while. The pastor gave everyone a summary of what had been going on with the church in recent months. He talked about the continuing improvements being made to the church courtesy of the contributions made by Dominick Flint. Beth had heard Landon talking about Flint. His daughter, Veronica had recently married Landon's brother, Kyle. The pastor was excited about the impending arrival by train delivery of a brand new organ. It would bring glorious music to the church. The pastor's enthusiasm brightened Beth's spirits. She wondered how often he'd made such a long journey to visit members of his congregation. Thinking about her infrequent attendance, Beth told herself she could hardly be described as a proper member of the congregation. Perhaps that had been the real reason for Pastor Joseph's visit. He wanted to encourage her to come to church on Sundays. At least while the weather made it feasible. Of course, during the winter months, religious obligations would be met at home. With a Bible and hymns and readings from Scripture. But that was no substitution for attending church. Being around others who loved the Lord was a tonic like no other, Beth reflected.
Once they'd finished coffee, Miss Chalmers asked to meet the children. Sally fetched them and Miss Chalmers proceeded to make quite a fuss over them. All of which delighted the children and Beth. Miss Chalmers spoke with the children for a long while, asking them what their favorite subjects were. And which ones they found the hardest. Miss Chalmers involved Beth in what she knew was an informal assessment. Finally she finished asking questions and indicated she'd like to speak with Beth privately. The children went outside while everyone else remained in the parlor. Landon spoke quietly with the pastor. Every once in a while, Landon glanced across at Beth while Miss Chalmers outlined suggestions for home lessons. She also promised to send some teaching materials to the house. It all sounded reasonable to Beth. She desperately wanted the children to have the best. Education and worship were essential parts of growing up.
Then Miss Chalmers calmly stated she would be pleased to see the children in school three days a week, starting the following Monday. Beth was taken aback. She hadn't expected this, let alone planned for the children to be taken into Inspiration so often. Knowing the journey was long, Miss Chalmers told Beth that the children would attend between ten o'clock and two o'clock. That would give them time to travel into town and then time enough to return to the Circle D.
"It will be good for the children to meet others of their age," Miss Chalmers declared.
"Of course, I agree," Beth said. "We'll just have to be careful they don't get tired with the long journey. They've both been through a great deal over the last few months. I'm sure you understand."
Miss Chalmers laid a gentle hand on Beth's arm. "I will do everything in my power to make it a good experience for them." She smiled. "Just think. Max and Katie will have new friends. That will be something quite encouraging for them."
Beth nodded. "I'm sure it will be," she agreed.
As if sensing her conversation with the schoolteacher had come to an end, Pastor Joseph called out: "Miss Russell. Might I have a private word with you? Perhaps outside in the lovely September sunshine."
Beth agreed and led the pastor outside. From the porch, Beth could see Max and Katie over by the cottonwood tree. Giggling loudly, they were chasing each other around the thick tree trunk. The sound of their laughter echoed in the cool afternoon air. They were far enough away that they wouldn't be able to hear anything the pastor might say to her. The pastor gazed at the children and smiled with obvious delight. Through the parlor window, Beth could see Landon chatting with Miss Chalmers.
"I shall come straight to the point, Miss Russell. Miss Lauren Baxter informed me of your situation," the pastor began. "That is what prompted me to make my visit."
"She did?" Beth replied. Lauren had obviously taken upon herself to help. She'd said as much before she'd left with her husband, Gabe.
Pastor Joseph nodded thoughtfully. "I am aware of the terrible tragedy which took place." Glancing toward the tree, he added: "It is sometimes difficult to understand why the Lord takes people when they are so young."
"My brother and his wife were in their twenties, pastor," Beth said. "They had barely begun to build their lives. They had so much to look forward to."
"But the Lord was generous," the pastor said. "He gave your brother and his wife two beautiful children. Twins." He sighed softly. "That was a blessing. Was it not?"
Beth sensed where the pastor might be going with the conversation. He had come to the Circle D to try and console her. To provide solace to her and the children. To help her see all the blessings which God had bestowed upon her. And probably to invite her back to his congregation.
Pastor Joseph eyed Beth carefully. "I sense that your faith has been challenged by all of this. Am I right?"
Beth nodded. "You know I've brought the children to church as often as I can."
"I have observed that," he replied nodding slowly. The pastor lifted a brow, adding nothing to his simple statement. It was probably as far as he would go to show any kind of judgment. "What would their parents have wanted you to do?"
"They would have wanted me to bring the twins up with as strong a faith in God as possible," she declared, knowing it was the truth.
The pastor smiled, clearly satisfied with her answer. "And you, Beth?"
"What about me, pastor?" she asked.
"What do you intend to do to renew your own faith?"
Beth frowned. "Did I say I had lost my faith?"
The pastor shook his head. "Not in so many words," he said. "But I can tell when someone's faith has been put to the test. And I believe that God has provided you with a very great test, indeed."
Beth sighed. "Is it that obvious?"
Pastor Joseph lowered his head. From beneath ridged brows, he examined Beth for a long moment. "He has given you great strength, Miss Russell." He made a sweeping gesture with his hand. "Without His grace, none of this would have come to pass. His love is boundless, but it is our place to offer up our will to Him. Every day. To follow him, no matter what vales of tears we pass through. Only if we do that, can we truly be assured of His love."
"You say I am being tested," Beth stated. The pastor nodded and remained silent for the moment. "Do you believe I have the strength to do what the Lord wants me to do? Because there have been times this year when I've felt terrible doubts. About my own ability to persevere."
"You have fought the good fight, so far," the pastor said quietly. "Have you not?"
Beth nodded. "I've done all I can. But it never seems to be enough. I don't always believe I have the strength."
"He will give you that strength, Beth. If you put your faith in Him. If you retu
rn to Him with your whole heart, mind and will." The pastor narrowed his eyes. "Do you pray, Beth?"
Guilt flooded through Beth. She knew she had to tell the truth. "Not as much as I used to." Saying those words to the pastor's face made her feel the full weight of what she'd done. After the tragedy, she had started to turn away from God. Not in some dramatic fashion. But gradually, step by step. Moment by moment, she had kept her mind from the Lord. And now she realized what she'd had always secretly known. That she had come close to making a terrible mistake. Not just for herself, but also for the children.
Seeing her distress, Pastor Joseph laid a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Take consolation from the truth, Beth. The Lord has led you back to Him. He has surrounded you with good people. Place your trust in those people. All of them."
Beth gazed into the pastor's eyes and saw the compassion in them. "I will."
"And pray, Beth," he said softly. "Do that and everything will begin to change."
The conversation had had a profound impact on Beth. For the short while during which the pastor and Miss Chalmers readied themselves to leave, Beth felt as if her world had been changed. She was glad the pastor had come. Before he left, she gave him her word that she and the children would attend the church on the coming weekend.
Standing in the yard, she watched the pastor's carriage trundle down the trail away from the ranch house. Alongside her stood Landon. He didn't say anything to her until she turned and started to make her way toward the ranch house. There was a dinner to prepare. Her mind was filled with a bewildering mixture of thoughts. She needed some time before she could talk to Landon. Hoping he would understand, she turned to him. "I'll speak to you later, Landon," she told him.
Landon nodded and said nothing as she turned and headed for the house.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
After dinner, Landon went out to the porch and sat down on the wooden seat. He gazed up at the darkening sky. The sun was setting behind the distant mountains. The night air had a chill in it, but it felt good to be outside instead of being cooped up in his room. Landon ran his fingers through his hair. The bandage had been removed, just like Sally had promised. The wound was healing nicely. He'd seen it in the mirror in his room. In a week or two it wouldn't even be noticeable. His long hair covered the wound. For the first time in days, Landon felt like himself.
Throughout the dinner, Beth had been silent. The children had acted in their usual spirited fashion, clearly oblivious to Beth's contemplative mood. Sally had done her best to keep the children from making demands on Beth. Doyle had been absent from the table. Landon was happy about that. But, every time he'd glanced at Beth's pensive features, Landon had felt a growing unease. It was clear she'd reached some kind of important understanding.
Landon wondered what the pastor had said to Beth during his afternoon visit. He was pleased Gabe's wife, Lauren, had taken it upon herself to ask the pastor to pay a call. Lauren was always thinking about how she could help people. Landon figured Beth might have benefitted from Pastor Joseph's inexhaustible store of knowledge. Landon had spoken with Miss Chalmers, the schoolteacher. He knew her through his brother-in-law's nephew, Ryan, who attended the schoolhouse during the week. She seemed a level-headed and intelligent young woman. And she was someone who clearly took the education of children very seriously. Landon had no doubt that, once they went to school, Max and Katie would do well.
The door opened and Beth stepped out onto the porch. Landon straightened immediately, feeling his heart quicken. He was glad to see her. "Beth. Come on over here." He patted the empty space on the bench. "Sit next to me."
Beth didn't refuse his offer. She folded her arms and walked across to him. She paused a moment and looked down at him. "Can I talk to you about something?"
"Sure."
Beth sat down next to him. She didn't hesitate before starting to speak. "I was talking with the pastor, this afternoon."
Landon nodded. "Was it helpful?"
Beth looked at Landon and tilted her head. "It was more than that. Much more." Beth sighed. "I've done some things I knew weren't right."
Landon peered at Beth, amazed she'd say such a thing. "And a whole lot of things some people would never think of doing. Like taking on this ranch and bringing up the twins." He lifted a disbelieving brow. "Did you forget about all that?"
Beth smiled meekly. "I know what you've said is true. And that's all well and good. But I'm talking about something much more serious." She planted her hands in her lap and sighed heavily. "I've kept the children away from church." She uttered the words with a heavy voice. "I feel so guilty about that," she groaned. Landon instantly knew how much pain she was feeling.
Twisting in the seat, Landon faced her and rested his arm against the back of the bench. Beth wasn't looking at him. She was staring out across the yard. Her lower lip was full and her brows furrowed into deep ridges. There was definitely pain there, Landon told himself. "What did Pastor Joseph say about that?"
"He was kind. Told me he understood the difficulties I've been under." Beth shook her head. "But I could tell he wants so much more for us. He asked me to bring the children to church this weekend."
"He did?"
Beth turned and faced him. Landon could see the moistness in her eyes. They were wide with a pleading expression. She hadn't just come out here to talk with him. She'd come out to open up to him. To bare a part of herself which she'd kept hidden since he'd arrived at the Circle D. He figured she was feeling more than just the hurt of not attending church as much as she would have wanted. Some of the pain of the last few months was coming to the surface. And he knew the time had come for him to help her heal.
Drawing closer to Beth, Landon murmured: "Tell me what you're feeling, Beth. I want to know."
Beth gazed into Landon's eyes. "You do?"
Landon nodded once and met her steady gaze. "I'm here for you, Beth. I ain't going anywhere anytime soon."
Her mouth opened slightly. Beth's full lips were moist and, for a moment, his attention was fixed upon them. But this wasn't the moment for sharing a kiss with Beth. She needed him for more than that. Had she understood what he'd meant by telling her he'd decided he'd remain on the Circle D? What it meant for them both?
Beth glance down, her lashes heavy. "I'm not sure I'm strong enough for all of this, Landon," she said in a quiet voice.
Reaching across, he placed the tips of his fingers beneath her chin and gently moved her head so she was looking straight at him. "You're the strongest woman I've ever met," he murmured. "Look at what you've done. You've given a home to those twins. A chance of a future. You couldn't have done that if you'd lacked courage and strength."
The corner of Beth's mouth creased with the beginnings of a smile. But he saw he still had plenty to do to convince her. "Those are kind words," she murmured.
Landon's jaw tightened. "I mean everything I say, Beth. I won't lie to you. Ever."
Once again he saw emotion stir in her eyes. "I want to do what's best for Max and Katie. I truly do."
"That's why Pastor Joseph and Miss Chalmers came all the way out here today," he said. "They know how hard it has been for you. And they want to do all they can to help. Surely you can see that, Beth."
"It was a kind gesture on their part."
"More than that," Landon objected. "They're determined to make sure you and the children become a part of the community." He lowered his hand from her chin and curled his fingers around her hands resting in her lap. "You and the children belong in Inspiration. Not out here, in the middle of nowhere. Sure, you can work the ranch. Build it all up. That's for the future. But, you need to be a part of the life folks are making in town. There's so much you can enjoy. So much that will make your life and the lives of the children better." He knew it had been a passionate defense of town life. He'd meant every word he'd said. He believed in Inspiration. "I've seen what the town has given people. How it has made their lives better," Landon continued.
The Rancher’s Frontier Family Page 14
