She went out the back door and along the path to the privy, skirted it and stood facing vines growing up a volunteer cottonwood sapling. She thought her chest was going to implode, and she forced herself to take even breaths.
Gathering up her damp apron in two fists, she buried her face in the cotton and pressed it to her burning eyes. Tanner was going to leave, take Lillian and marry a suitable young lady. She’d been his landlady, so she’d probably be invited to the wedding. She would watch him take another woman’s hand, pledge his life and faithfulness and leave with her to create a home together. Create a family together.
She’d had her chance at marriage and happiness, so she shouldn’t be this disappointed. Tanner deserved happiness. They’d shared a few kisses that had changed everything for her…but they’d been meaningless to him. He’d told her she was perfect, but not perfect enough to love apparently.
This overwhelming weight wouldn’t last forever. She’d grieved enough to know the loss would eventually become a part of her, a part she could bear and rise above. She was strong.
Strength took a toll, she’d learned.
By the time she went back in, he’d finished the dishes. She placed a clean tablecloth on the dining room table, got her sewing bag and found the front porch empty. Relieved she took a seat.
She didn’t know how much time had passed when the screen door opened and Tanner came outside, carrying Lillian.
“Are you all right?” he asked.
“I’m fine.”
“May we join you?”
“Of course.”
He placed Lillian on his lap and tapped her bare feet together. She smiled and emitted a little giggle. “Did you hear that?”
She nodded.
He did it once more, and the baby giggled again.
She quickly swiped away a tear.
“What’s the matter?”
“Nothing. I’m fine.”
“Something’s wrong. You can tell me. We’re friends, right?”
Oh, that hurt. She focused on her needle going in and out of the dishtowel.
He reached over and put his hand over hers, so she couldn’t sew.
“Did I say something to offend you?”
“No, Tanner. This is all difficult for me. I don’t like to think about you and Lillian leaving. I’m trying to accept it and move on.”
“I understand.” He removed his hand from hers. “You’ve grown fond of her.”
“Yes. I have.”
“You’ll see her often. We’ll be in church. We can visit here. You can ride out to the ranch.”
“I don’t ride. I’m not a farm girl, like your Miss Hurley.”
“She’s not my anything.”
“You’re considering marrying her.” Her voice had risen, and she dropped her sewing onto the bag on the floor beside her.
“I told you I was considering a lot of things.”
“Oh, I know. You’ve considered everything. Everything except this perfect—perfectly plain widow sitting here, because I don’t know the first thing about ranches. I can sing and play the piano and teach children and love Lillian, but I don’t know anything about horses or cows—and all I know about chickens is that they eat and poop a lot. I’m not even worth your consideration. I’ve spent my whole life seeking approval, so don’t think I’m surprised to not meet yours.”
“I’m trying to understand,” he said slowly.
“You said it when you said I put people off. I did everything my parents asked me to do. I dressed the way they wanted, I spoke the way they wanted, I married the man they chose for me.”
“You didn’t want him?”
“I wanted their approval.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t feel sorry for me,” she said softly. “That’s the last thing I want from you.”
“What do you want?”
“Well, I don’t want to be friends.” She glanced over and noted Lillian had fallen asleep.
“I’m going to take her inside.” He returned a few minutes later, took her hand and led her down the porch stairs. The sun was still warm, so he led her to the shade of the cottonwoods. “Raylene, you’re talking as though I don’t feel anything for you. As though you weren’t my first choice.”
Speechless for a long moment, she shook her head. “I was your first choice?”
“I thought you were still grieving your husband, but apparently that’s not so.”
“I was a disappointment to him, too. It was a relief when I was able to go home to Winston Farms. I would never have wished him dead, but I barely knew him.”
“And then after Russell Warner came calling, you said you weren’t interested in marrying anyone. You never want a man to legally own your business. That was plain.”
All the starch went out of her spine. She might have slid into a puddle, but she shot out a palm and rested it against his chest to steady herself. “The kisses—they meant something to you?”
“I thought you must have found something lacking,” he said.
“I found everything I ever wanted.” She looked up into his eyes. “I felt like I came alive to see and feel for the first time.”
“Tell me what you want, Raylene. Tell me everything you want.”
“I want to be important to someone. I want a family—a husband to love, children. I want to be with you always. And with Lillian. And if it’s not too much to ask, I’d like a flower garden.”
“You’re important to me, Raylene. I know you don’t believe this, but you’re the most perfect person in the world—for me. I don’t care that you can’t ride a horse. I can teach you. I don’t care that you don’t know anything about cows. You’ll be too busy teaching children to read and write to herd cows. I want you with me. And I’d love to plant you a flower garden.” He glanced over at the house. “What about the boarding house? You’d leave it behind?”
She nodded. “I would. Meriday is perfectly capable.”
He took both of her hands in his and knelt down on the carpet of grass. “Raylene, I love you with every breath that is in me. Will you do me the honor of marrying me and being the most important person in my life?”
The tears that welled up now were not tears of anger or fear or loss. She couldn’t ever remember feeling the joy that she felt at this moment. Her heart was full. She had so much love to give this man. She closed her eyes to savor the wonderment, and the tears escaped and trailed down her cheeks.
“You’re not answering,” he said. “My heart is going to beat out of my chest.”
She opened her eyes and looked down at his handsome face. A face she would look at every day from now until eternity—the face of a man in love. With her. She spoke around the lump in her throat. “I love you, Tanner. It would be my grandest delight to marry you.”
He got to his feet and pulled her into his arms for a kiss that banished every doubt and confirmed every promise.
Epilogue
“I don’t want this summer to end,” Raylene said as Tanner drove the buggy toward Willow Creek. She’d requested an open carriage today, so she could enjoy the countryside. Perched on her lap, wearing a lace-trimmed pink bonnet, Lillian stared wide-eyed at the countryside. She looked up at Raylene and smiled.
Raylene’s heart was full.
Her new husband reached over and took her hand. “We’re going to share a lifetime of summers,” he promised. “Winters too.”
The season had been packed with blossoming love, exciting discoveries, new friends, and fresh beginnings. She wasn’t looking forward to the coming Colorado winter, but she was confident that she and her little family would be warm and cozy in the old Rumford house. They’d delayed new house construction until next year, so Tanner could establish his herd. The house was adequate, and she was already making it a comfortable home.
A surprisingly large crowd was already gathering when they arrived at the newly constructed schoolhouse. Tanner took Lillian and helped Raylene down. John Jay pulled up a rig tha
t had been behind them. He assisted Meriday, Almira and Emerald to the ground, and their small group walked toward the gathering.
A good many of the ladies were wearing new dresses, so splashes of vivid blues, pinks, greens and yellows made for a colorful crowd. Newlyweds Abraham and Anne were there. They’d moved into the large room Tanner had vacated at the boarding house.
Memphis and Rose, John Jay’s parents, stood above the gathering on the wide stairs to the school. Memphis got everyone’s attention by raising a hand.
“Today we’re celebratin’ the efforts of many, many people. The Willow Creek neighbors, our childern and the citizens of Twin Springs, but ‘specially one of our teachers and the lady who made this happen.”
He paused for applause.
“Missus Raylene Bell, will you come up here an’ let us see you?”
Raylene handed Lillian to Tanner, glanced up and recognized the love and pride in his deep blue eyes.
“Go on up there, Mrs. Bell.”
She offered him a smile and made her way to join Memphis. Rose enveloped her in an enthusiastic hug.
“Missus Bell here raised money for bricks and wood, a stove, and new readers for all the childern,” Memphis said. “A good portion o’ you folks worked under that August sun, layin’ a foundation, hammerin’ and sawin’ and settin’ windows. There’s even a well for good fresh water.”
Raylene was uncomfortable with the attention and that she seemed to be getting all the credit. She waved for the people to stop clapping. “I might have started the planning, but I certainly didn’t carry out the work by myself. Many of you saw the need and found it in your hearts to help. Even the students. I just want to say…I’m proud of all of you. These young people are our future, and we’re giving them the best opportunities we’re able to give.
“We’re probably going to make mistakes—all of us—because we’re human, but we’re learning from our mistakes, and we’re developing ourselves into the community we want to be. The nation we want to be. So, thank you, one and all, for your part in making this school a safe and functional place for our future learners and leaders.”
More applause and murmurs of appreciation followed.
“Now let’s go eat cake!” Memphis shouted.
The crowd cheered.
Tanner opened his free arm for Raylene to wrap her arms around him and press her face to his shirt. At a tap on her shoulder, she pulled away to greet neighbors and thank them.
“Let’s get cake,” Tanner said.
Tables that had been set up on the freshly mown grass now held all sizes and varieties of cakes and cookies.
Sometime later, she was enjoying a slice of white cake with lemon frosting, when Jennie approached her, wearing her new hat.
“You look lovely,” Raylene told her.
“As do you,” her friend replied.
Almira found them. She wore an impish smile. “Look who the cowboy is courting,” she said in a loud whisper.
Raylene followed her gaze. Russell Warner was handing Octavia Gaines a cookie, and the redhead thanked him with a beaming smile.
“Love is in the air,” Jennie said on a sigh.
She scanned the crowd and found Tanner, holding a now-sleeping Lillian, talking to Samuel and John Jay.
After the construction of the school, Raylene knew most of the parents, so she visited with them. Samuel and Cardee had a gift for her, a tiny book carved out of wood and hung on a silver chain. “Because you are giving so many children the gift of reading,” Cardee said.
Raylene had the other woman place it around her neck. It took her a moment to subdue emotion and speak. Touching the wooden piece at her throat, she said, “This is the most special piece of jewelry I’ve ever had. I’ll wear it always.”
Cardee hugged her, and Raylene soon found herself back beside her husband. She leaned in to kiss Lillian’s soft cheek. The baby didn’t rouse.
“It’s not peridot or emeralds, but it suits you.” He touched the bit of wood. “You aren’t missing your own jewelry?”
She’d kept her dragonfly brooch and a few pieces that had been her mother’s favorites, but sold the rest to pay for wood, nails, shingles and desks. “I’m not missing that or any of my dresses.”
He tilted his head. “No doubt they all looked better on you.”
She grinned. “Paid for all new readers and the chalkboards.”
“You’re pretty enough without yards of satin or hundreds of seed pearls, Mrs. Bell.”
“You make me feel beautiful. You treat me as though I’m someone special, someone deserving of your love.”
“You are special, and you deserve all the love I can give you. I love you because of who you are, because your heart is bigger than all of Colorado. Because you put everyone else first, and you always do the right thing, even if the right thing comes with personal sacrifice.”
“I don’t make very good coffee.”
He laughed. “I’ll make the coffee.”
Her husband was solid, dependable, like the earth beneath her feet. She hadn’t needed him in order to survive, but she needed his presence in her life every waking moment of every day. She didn’t have to prove anything to him. She didn’t have to be better or smarter or prettier to earn his devotion…she only had to be herself. She adored him.
She wished they were alone, so she could kiss him properly and show him what he meant to her.
His gaze darkened and rested on her lips. He knew exactly what she was thinking. She tucked away the delightful promise of later.
The rest of her life was a delightful promise.
The End
Dear Reader, if you enjoyed this story, please leave me a review!
Thanks, Cheryl
Books in the Bachelors and Babies Series
Trace ~ Book 1 ~ Pam Crooks
Logan ~ Book 2 ~ Margaret Tanner
Carter ~ Book 3 ~ Cynthia Woolf
Barclay ~ Book 4 ~ Charlene Raddon
Dallas ~ Book 5 ~ Cyndi Raye
Sawyer ~ Book 6 ~ Winnie Griggs
Jared ~ Book 7 ~ Charlene Raddon
Grayson ~ Book 8 ~ Linda Carroll-Bradd
Kendrick ~ Book 9 ~ Zina Abbott
Stuart ~ Book 10 ~ Caroline Clemmons
Zach ~ Book 11 ~ Hebby Roman
Chase ~ Book 12 ~ Charlene Raddon
James ~ Book 13 ~ Tracy Garrett
Tanner ~ Book 14 ~ Cheryl St.John
Brady ~ Book 15 ~ Carra Copelin
See all the Bachelors & Babies Books on our Amazon Series Page:
https://amzn.to/31ks9XC
Meet the Author
Cheryl has always loved the exciting and diverse worlds available between the covers of books. As a child she wrote stories & drew covers, then stapled them into little books. She cut all the tiny images from the book club advertisements in the Sunday newspaper & glued them to bits of cardboard so Barbie® had a full library.
Cheryl is the married author of more than fifty books, both historical and contemporary. Her stories have earned numerous RITA nominations, Romantic Times awards & are published in over a dozen languages. One thing all reviewers & readers agree on regarding Cheryl’s work is the degree of emotion & believability. In describing her stories of second chances & redemption, readers & reviewers use words like, “emotional punch, hometown feel, core values, believable characters & real-life situations.” Amazon & Goodreads reviews show her popularity with readers.
The author lives in the Midwest, USA. When she’s not writing or spending time with her family, she’s checking out garage sales, flea markets & antique malls. Among her collections are teacups & teapots, roosters, chicken kitchen timers, vintage spice tins, wooden recipe boxes, Barbies®, charm bracelets, vintage jewelry, Kokeshi dolls, white stoneware, Delftware, souvenir spoons, Goebel birds, Royal Copley planters, vintage hankies & BOOKS. Cheryl admits she’s a bargain hunter with the heart of a hoarder, trying to live as a minimalist. The struggle is real.
Check out Ch
eryl’s amazon author page
to see an entire listing of all of her books.
https://tinyurl.com/y6js92y8
JOE’S WIFE
American Western Historical
After Meg Telford’s husband dies in the war and is lauded as a hero, she can’t keep the ranch without a man to shoulder the workload. Nothing will stop her from saving Joe’s dream. The war has taken nearly all the able-bodied men—and a devilishly handsome bad boy seems her only choice.
Town pariah, Tye Hatcher has a reputation as a hell-raiser, but he’s looking to prove himself and has his own plans for her land. Meg’s proposal might be too good to be true, but he’s willing to take a chance, even if the risk is his heart.
Struggling with the rejection of the townspeople and guilt over her changing feelings for this convenient new husband, Meg’s vulnerable dreams and their hard work will be for naught unless she and Tye reveal their secrets. Neither can change the past, but is a better future within their grasp?
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07TT28FFJ?ie=UTF8
https://books2read.com/JoesWife
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Tanner (Bachelors and Babies Book 14) Page 15
