Nodding his agreement was easier than admitting to the sappy feelings surging through him. “That too. Does that make me weird? That I get harder over the idea of holding someone down than I do about sticking my dick in him?”
“You’re not weird.” Trevor waited a second, then nudged him. “Freak.”
“What about you? Freak.” Jalen nudged him back. “What’s the deal with not liking oral? I was bit and I still love it. Maybe not quite as much as rubbing off, but it’s pretty fucking hot.”
“Haven’t tried it,” Trevor mumbled into Jalen’s chest.
“For reals? You’ve given how much head and never gotten any back?”
“Never really wanted it. You’re the only one who’s tried, but whenever you start to head in that direction, I just feel all exposed.”
Jalen totally got that. He felt similar about anal, actually, like all his shortcomings in bed were about to be revealed. It wasn’t just about waiting for the right guy—it was waiting for the right guy who wouldn’t care.
“Your dick is really hot.” Jalen let his hand wander down Trevor’s side. Maybe he hadn’t told Trevor that before. Maybe no one had told him that before.
“It’s small.” Trevor let out a sigh as Jalen’s hand brushed his pubes.
“It’s perfect.” Watching Trevor to make sure this was okay, Jalen stroked him a few times. Maybe Trevor was a bit smaller than some of the friends Jalen had fooled around with in high school, but not by much. “I love it because I’m pretty sure I could deep throat it, and I can’t do that with porn-star dicks. I really am dying to get you in my mouth.”
“Okay,” Trevor said softly. He rolled off Jalen’s chest and lay on his back. “We could try.”
Jalen didn’t go straight for Trevor’s dick; instead, he kissed him slowly, trying to tell him with his kiss how much he appreciated Trevor being willing to try this with him, how much that trust meant to him, how he was going to take such good care of him. He actually liked giving more than getting—liked having a guy under him, liked the feeling of a hard dick in his mouth while he held the guy’s hips, liked making someone lose his mind and moan and carry on.
With that aim in mind, he kissed each of the hickeys on Trevor’s chest, paying special attention to the new one by his belly button. Then that was tempting, so he made another one right above Trevor’s patch of hair.
Trevor made a high-pitched noise when Jalen released the tender flesh, which he took as encouragement. Still not moving too fast, he licked down Trevor’s dick. It was velvety smooth, and while not the longest, the head flared out from the shaft, like an ice cream scoop, begging Jalen to lick and suck it. The tip was damp and Jalen licked all the slick up, the salty flavor making his own dick throb.
“Wait. Stop.” Trevor pushed at his shoulder.
“Too much?” Jalen asked.
“I just feel weird. Like I’m on display and I don’t know what to do with my hands, and it’s just strange lying here and not doing anything.”
“You’re under me all the time.” Jalen stroked Trevor’s thighs.
“That’s different. I know I’m getting you off. That’s what’s hot. I can totally let go and enjoy because you’re so into it. And you’re in charge. This is like I’m in charge and you’re not getting off and it just feels weird.”
“So basically you’re kind of bored and need something to do?” Jalen hid a smile in the crease of Trevor’s thigh before he swung his body around so that he faced the opposite direction. “Here. Knock yourself out.”
There’s a dick in my face. Of course Trevor had been up close and personal with a number of dicks, but never at this angle. Jalen rearranged them until they were both on their sides, Jalen’s dick bobbing right by Trevor’s face.
“This is how I got bit that one time. So if something tickles . . .”
“I won’t bite.”
“I know.” Jalen sounded so sure. It meant something that Jalen trusted him with this, trusted him with something that had turned out bad for him in the past. Maybe he didn’t trust Trevor with fucking—Trevor wasn’t the special guy he was waiting for. Trevor couldn’t allow himself to be too sad about that.
I wouldn’t care. That was what he wanted to say earlier. If he was Jalen’s forever guy, the one Jalen got a little sappy look in his eye when he talked about, the guy who reminded Jalen of what his moms had and not the guy who made him think about how cheap and temporary reality-TV relationships were. If he were that guy, he wouldn’t care if Jalen hated anal. Wouldn’t care about Jalen’s kink.
Well, that last bit was a bit of an understatement. He’d be incredibly enthusiastic about uncovering a lifetime’s worth of kink with Jalen.
But he wasn’t that guy, and all they had was the next few weeks. Might as well make this count. He worked Jalen with his fist at first, waiting for Jalen to return to kissing his dick. At first they lay like that, Trevor stroking Jalen and Jalen kissing his dick with lots of little licks and flicks.
Gradually, Trevor copied Jalen—and that was kind of fun because Trevor had his own idea of what made oral great—namely, the ability to take the other guy hard, deep, and fast—but it seemed like Jalen favored a more teasing approach. So he mimicked Jalen. Jalen fluttered his tongue along the underside of Trevor’s dick; he did the same and got a muffled moan from Jalen.
“Gonna go deep,” Jalen gave him a quick warning before he swallowed Trevor all the way. And holy heck, he was glad for that warning because he couldn’t do much more than grab Jalen’s hips and moan while Jalen took him in long wet strokes. He swallowed around Trevor’s dick, and it felt like Pop Rocks exploding all over his pleasure neurons as Trevor went from mildly interested to going to come in three seconds.
“Jerk me with your hand,” Jalen ordered before sucking on Trevor again. And oh sweet, sweet baby Jesus, a spit-slick finger rubbed gently around his rim. “That what you like?” Jalen asked, a bit of uncertainty in his voice.
“God yes. You don’t have to . . .”
“Want to. Want to make you fly.” He resumed sucking Trevor, finger getting more adventurous. Trevor gave up any pretext of trying to suck Jalen at the same time and just jacked him with his hand while trying to hold on long enough to see what else Jalen had planned. He’d been lying when he’d said fucking wasn’t all that—it was true it hurt and wasn’t anywhere near as good as playing with himself, but it was also true he was desperate to try it with Jalen. Already, Jalen’s finger felt better than Trevor’s own. Maybe it would be different with him.
But he wasn’t Jalen’s special guy, and all he got was this moment, knowing that Jalen was trying something new for him, pushing his comfort zone because he wanted to make this better for Trevor. That was enough. That had to be enough.
Holding on to the edge got impossible when Jalen started doing this thing with his tongue while he had Trevor deep. And if Trevor was smart, he’d take notes so he could do it to Jalen next, but all he could do was chant gibberish. Then Jalen’s questing finger brushed his gland, and that was it. Game over. Neurons burned out in one last white-hot sizzle. Jalen swallowed, and that was enough to bring out a few more shudders—Jalen making happy noises while he swallowed everything Trevor gave him.
“Still bored?” Jalen asked as he swung his body back around.
“Nuh-uh.” Trevor shook his head. He felt burned out, a crispy shell of his usual self, but he wasn’t so far gone that he didn’t have good manners. “Hey, bring that back, it’s your turn.”
“Too close.” Jalen straddled Trevor’s waist. “And I had a thought while I was doing you . . .” He started jacking his dick, brushing the head against the marks on Trevor’s stomach and chest.
“You gonna come on me?” Trevor got into it, leaning up on his elbows so he could watch.
“Yeah. Close. Geez, you were hot. The way you let go . . .”
“You’re pretty hot now,” Trevor whispered, because Jalen was. Fierce look on his face, arm muscles flexing as he jerked himsel
f, abs tight and defined when his whole body tensed.
Then Jalen was coming, painting Trevor’s torso with his jizz. He dragged his dick through it, smearing it around. Trevor didn’t mind, didn’t pull away when Jalen dipped a finger in and held it to Trevor’s mouth. This was one of Jalen’s kinks, and Trevor didn’t need to understand it to want to indulge him. He sucked the finger clean, and Jalen collapsed next to him with a happy groan. Jalen held him close for long moments, stroking his shoulders and back and brushing clumsy kisses on the side of Trevor’s head.
“I’ll grab a towel in a sec,” Jalen said, still breathing hard.
“Don’t bother. Think I’ll shower before sleep—oh!” Trevor slapped the mattress. “Jalen!”
“Yeah?” Jalen looked at him warily.
“I don’t feel terrible.”
“Not even a bit?” Jalen grinned at him.
“I think you coming distracted me through the usual crash.”
“You need to come first every time? I’m down with that.” Jalen’s look had so much tenderness in it that Trevor had to glance away, study the curtains on the lone window. “Seriously, man, I’ve been reading about it—the crash is a real thing. They call it postorgasm depression. And it’s a biochemical thing, but guilt can definitely play a role.”
“You’ve been researching me?” Trevor blushed, a weird heat spreading upward from his chest.
“I always liked my biology classes. And Google. I like knowing more about stuff. Like I know now how much protein a guy your size needs, and I know how to do that dubstep Carter was going on about. I hate not knowing shit.”
“You’re cute,” Trevor said and meant it.
“Eh. More like paranoid. I couldn’t stand it if something I was doing was causing you to feel bad.” Jalen grabbed his hand and squeezed.
“Nothing you do could.” Trevor squeezed back, finally meeting all that tenderness and sweetness in Jalen’s eyes. He could drown in those eyes, lose himself in the feel. It was almost more dangerous than the usual sucky emotions post-sex. Hope was a deadly weapon, threatening to skewer him with no warning.
But still he smiled back at Jalen. Let himself linger in the good. If the crash was coming, he was going to enjoy every second of the fall.
Chapter Fourteen
@NextDirectionShow Whatever will our guys do without a day filming or rehearsing? Stay tuned to their accounts to find out!
@CarsonNCarter I know how I want to spend my day ;)
“We seriously get a day off?” Trevor asked as he took a big bite of oatmeal. Breakfast was doughnuts and coffee, but Jalen had rounded up a packet of oatmeal from the kitchen for Trevor. Trevor dumped in a packet of nuts he had in his bag for a fairly healthy breakfast.
“Yup. Production is working on editing the next episode. We’re supposed to document our day off on social media, though.”
“Of course.” Trevor made a face. “Do we have to stick together as a group?”
“It would be nice,” Carter butted in. He had a doughnut cut into quarters on his plate and a cup of heavily doctored coffee. “We’re going to the Granville Island market. Lots of great photo ops there. The other groups are sticking together, too.”
They actually like each other. Trevor kept that opinion to himself and watched Jalen try not to laugh. Carter had been marginally nicer to Trevor since their performance on Saturday.
“Latest returns are in.” Dawn breezed by the table. “You guys are now neck and neck with Heat Loss. The public loves your latest video. Cute boys in love is marketable, just like we thought.”
“Yay.” Trevor poked at his oatmeal.
“And when our first episode premieres tomorrow on TV, I bet all the Web episode hits go sky high, as well as your videos. You’re about to be famous!”
Oh goody. In the two and a half weeks they’d been in Vancouver, the social media posts and Web episodes had developed something of a cult following, but the network TV show was the point of no return—people Trevor knew were totally going to see this show. And next week, episode two would air, which was what the production crew was working on today.
Tomorrow night, there would be a viewing party, complete with some Vancouver-area celebrities and local news coverage. They’d also have the reveal of the next challenge. None of which got Trevor that pumped, although the prospect of a dressed-up Jalen was pretty sweet. But not as sweet as a day all alone. Heck, Trevor didn’t even need to leave their room.
“You guys totally should go out together. Like a double date,” Dawn said.
Trevor didn’t have to look at Jalen to know he was nodding. Big sister made suggestion, Jalen would leap to comply. And Trevor couldn’t feel too bitter about that. That was me once. At least he has a family who cares.
“Maybe we can get away by ourselves this afternoon,” Jalen said in a low voice as soon as she left. “I’ve got an idea.”
“Sounds good.” Trevor liked Jalen’s ideas. Like the 69. He’d never really thought about that as a sexy thing, but they’d done it again last night, and this time he’d sucked Jalen off at almost the same time he came and it was glorious. It wasn’t unlike a really good singing set—everything in sync, perfect rhythm, rush of adrenaline powering through to the end.
“Don’t forget to wear your colors!” Carson trilled as he dragged Carter away. Hopefully, he’d do whatever it was he did that usually meant Carter returning to the group with a dopey smile and subdued sarcasm meter.
Did they fuck? Trevor had always taken it as a given that all gay couples were fucking, unless they had some sort of medical reason not to. But ever since his talk with Jalen, he’d found himself speculating about other couples. Maybe not fucking was as common as Jalen said. Or maybe Trevor was just obsessed with the subject.
Admit it. You want to be Jalen’s special guy.
Shut up. I just want to fuck. As an experiment.
Yeah, you’re a real savior of science.
They took a bus from Kitsilano to Granville Island. Apparently, a clear day in June meant three-quarters of the city was out and about because the bus was standing-room only and they hit a traffic snarl almost as soon as they got on.
“I wish the show had let us have the vans today,” Carter bitched, switching hands on the rail.
“Take a breath . . .” Jalen sang at him. They were working on a medley of movie songs for their next video, with each of them getting a turn at a few verses of lead. This song from a kids’ flick about fighting friends was actually meant for Carson, but Jalen’s baritone take was surprisingly good.
“I need a little more from you,” Carson sang in response. He was in a good mood, all loose-limbed and huggy on Carter, reinforcing Trevor’s opinion that someone got laid before they left the house.
“Take me with you when you go . . .” Carter sang, picking up the medley with a line from an action romance ballad.
Jalen joined in on the second line of that song, harmonizing nicely with Carson. They both looked expectantly at Trevor, like he was supposed to play a part in this silly game. None of these people will see us again. Jalen’s motto seemed particularly apt right now when no one was giving a flying fig about four guys trapped in the middle of the bus.
“I’m the man for you . . .” Trevor sang. Jalen joined in and they did the first verse of that song, holding one hand out to Carter, who was trying hard not to laugh.
“The way we feel is real . . .” Carter sang back at them.
Carson nudged him and came back with a line from the kids’ movie, and they continued bouncing song lyrics back and forth for a few minutes.
“You guys are pretty good,” an older man with a cane sitting by a window applauded them.
“Sing more,” said a young boy with a Canucks hat sitting next to him.
“What the heck,” Carter said. “Not like the bus is moving.”
“We totally should. And record it.” Carson dug out his cell phone.
“I can film,” the boy said, and Carson, who was way
more trusting than Trevor could ever be, passed over his phone.
“Flash mob of four?” Jalen laughed. “I’m in. I wanna do that Kelly Clarkson one we were fiddling with.”
Trevor shot him a dirty look—the number required Trevor to sing lead, with a few lines from Jalen on the lower parts. He’d rather do one of Carter’s songs and harmonize, but Carter and Carson were both nodding at Jalen’s suggestion. Jalen beatboxed the intro riff—Carson could also beatbox a bit, as they’d discovered the other day at rehearsal, but Jalen was better at it, and he got into it with his whole body, which Trevor found strangely sensual.
Jalen tapped his heart as he finished the riff. Sing from there.
And Trevor did. He sang because they were on a bus and it didn’t matter if he sucked. He sang because it was a gorgeous day outside with deep blue skies and crisp breezes. He sang because for once he didn’t hate his group—the silly singing banter had been fun. And this was fun, too.
And when he was done, the whole bus applauded.
“Oh man, this is going viral!” Carson took his phone back from the kid.
“You know, we could actually win this thing.” Carter shook his head, a funny expression on his face as he studied Trevor and Jalen, like they’d suddenly gotten a whole lot shinier. For the first time, Trevor let himself believe Carter might be right—and the idea didn’t terrify him.
Carson and Carter’s idea of Granville Island actually turned out to be fun. Jalen had been expecting something like the farmers market his mothers went to every Saturday, but instead of a bunch of tents and folding tables, what he found was a sprawling complex of multiple buildings, long oversize metal sheds with blue and white awnings welcoming a huge mixed crowd of tourists and locals. They took lots of pictures—Jalen’s favorite was the hat stand where they’d all tried on silly hats. He picked up a super soft slouchy beanie with rainbow stripes for their next video shoot.
Love Me Tenor Page 15
