by Hannah Meade
After walking through a couple of little shops, Ryan stops in front of a pet store, Pete & Dots. I look over at him, finally getting excited. "Can we hold the animals?"
He just smiles and nods.
I look over at Emily and we both start jumping up and down, like two excited little girls.
Where I lived before, you could not hold the pets. You just had to watch the kitties and puppies wave their tails excitedly in front of you, who were thinking you were going to get them out and play with them. It was so sad, so I barely went in there. The only way you could even touch them was if you bought them. And if I went in there, I would just buy all of them.
So hopefully now you understand Emily’s and my excitement over this.
We both practically run into the store, leaving Ryan behind to catch up. I point to the dog’s section and we both hurry over.
By the time Ryan finds us, Emily and I are already holding puppies. I am holding a baby Corgi and Emily is holding a baby German Sheperd. "You guys do realize you cannot take one home, right?"
I shoot him a glare and he shut up. He is not going to ruin this for me. At least I can hold them.
I make a mental note to come here at least once a week and check up on the animals that are here. This is the second-best thing to taking them home.
Then Emily opens her big mouth. "I could actually take one of these little guys home. My apartment allows dogs."
If I still lived with Emily, I could take one home, too. I could cuddle this Corgi every day.
A hard sense of reality hits me hard and made me realize that this is a good choice. I am not going to give in and move back in with her. I need to stay strong and say no.
I smile over at Emily. "Yeah, you could. Can I visit them if you do take one home?"
She smiles back. "Of course, Mia. You can visit anytime."
Maybe we are going to be okay.
~~~
One German Sheperd and a few hours later, we are finally out of the pet store. Emily immediately wanted to leave once she bought her new puppy, Sammy. It is just Ryan and I left.
Ryan breaks the silence first. "So, I have to do some stuff before the party in a couple hours."
I nod. "We can walk back then." We start on the ten-minute walk back and it seems like neither of us knows what to say. "So, thanks for showing us around today. You did not have to do that."
He just shrugs. "It was no problem. I would have just done nothing at home if I did not."
"Where is your apartment?" Wow, way to be forward, Mia. "I am sorry, you do not have to tell me that."
"No, you are fine. I live in your apartment complex actually, on the third floor. Room 224. You could come by sometime if you want." I look over at him and his cheeks are tinted pink.
What does that mean?
I nod. "Okay."
We lapse into silence once again. Jesus, I have never been this nervous around a boy before. It is just easy to joke around and talk to all my guy friends. But with Ryan, it is different. Just like it is, or was, with Marcus. I get all nervous and giggly around him.
My phone starts buzzing repeatedly, and I fumble around in my purse to find it. Marcus. I hit ignore, making a mental note to call him later.
Ryan gives me a questioning look. "You can take the call, I do not mind."
I shake my head, immediately rejecting the idea. "No, it is fine. I do not want to answer it."
I am glad Ryan chooses not to question it further. "Alright. Well, here we are." I look up and sure enough, we are already to the apartment building. "I will see you later?"
I nod. "Yeah, you will."
He nods at me and walks inside the building.
I smile after his retreating figure; glad I had met him.
My phone ruins my perfect moment, bringing me back to reality. I sigh as Marcus's name flashes on my screen again. This time, I pick up. "What do you want, Marcus?"
"Look up."
Confused, I glance up.
Marcus is standing on my balcony, looking down at me.
Sixteen
I walk up to my apartment. How does Marcus even known where I live? He does not even know where I lived before. I sure as hell have not told him.
Marcus is waiting for me once I get to my floor. "What are you doing here, Marcus?"
He sighs. "Mia, I am sorry. I came here to apologize and explain. I feel like shit for what I did to you."
Liar. "How did you even find out where I lived? And how the fuck did you get a key?"
He shrugs. "Your neighbors were very generous and understanding once I told them I was your boyfriend and wanted to surprise you. They went down to the lobby and asked for a key."
"And they gave them one?" Guess I should have checked this place out a little more before I decided to move in.
"Yeah."
I make a mental note to talk to my generous neighbors later. My creep of an ex-boyfriend is enough to worry about right now. "Come in. We do not need to be having this conversation in the hallway." I walk past him and sit down on one of my spinning bar chairs. If I have to endure a conversation with Marcus about our relationship, I am going to get comfortable.
Marcus comes in and sits down beside me but does not say anything.
The awkward silence that follows is torture. For ten minutes, I wait for him to say something; anything.
"Say something, Marcus. Say what you came here to say and get it over with."
"I was an idiot."
That is nothing new.
"I was an idiot and I cheated on you with your best friend. You want to know why?"
Marcus does not look at me. He just keeps staring at his feet, twisting his hands in his lap.
"I cheated on you, because I knew I was not good enough for you. I knew I never would be and I just wanted someone who would be with me just for pleasure. You and I had a real connection, and I did not understand it until it was too late. The first time Emily and I had sex was at a party. We were both drunk out of our minds, and it happened. After that, I just liked having that release; that freedom. So, when I told you I was babysitting my cousins, I was screwing around with Emily."
Even though I already knew part of it, it still hurts like hell when he admits it. To know that basically every single time that he lied, he was making out with my best friend, is horrible to think about. How shitty can my life be?
Marcus finally looks me in the eye once he continues. "I fucked up, Mia. Majorly. And I know that you might just say 'fuck you' when I am done. But I really am sorry. I do not know if I even deserve a second chance from you, but I really do hope you at least think about it."
I am about to tell him where to shove his apology, when he starts up again. "I can promise you that I will work every. single. day. I will do whatever it takes for you to even think about forgiving me. I am so sorry, Mia. Really fucking sorry."
I do not even know what to say anymore. Part of me wants to flip him the bird and not show him any sympathy, but the other part of me wants to forgive him right then and there and get back together.
"How am I supposed to forgive this, Marcus? You screwed my best friend while you were in a relationship with me, for God's sake. Multiple times. I do not know if I can ever forgive this. If I even choose to try, it is going to take a long fucking time."
Marcus nods. "I know it is. So, what do you say, Mia?"
What else can I say? "I am going to have to think about it, Marcus. You broke my heart and I just do not know if I trust you not to do it again." I stand up, signaling the end of our conversation. "I think it is time you go."
He stands up too. "Yeah. Just let me know when you decide."
Once he is gone, I breathe out a sigh of relief. I did not at all expect for all of that to come out of Marcus's mouth. I did not expect him to even come find me and explain himself. But even after all that, I still do not know if I can believe him. Usually you do not keep doing something if you regret it the first time. If you do keep doing it, then obviously yo
u are not very sorry about it.
But I really like Marcus. I want to give him a second chance, but I do not know if that is the right decision.
~~~
Emily and her new puppy, Sammy come by the apartment later. My eyes instantly brighten at the sight of Sammy. "Sammy, oh, my God!"
He scrambles out of Emily's grasp and pats over to where I am kneeling on the floor. He wags his tail incessantly and licks all over my face.
All thoughts of my conversation with Marcus go out the window as soon as I see this dog.
Then Emily reminds me. "I thought you could use the cheering up, especially after who I saw walking out of your building earlier."
Wait, what? "I thought you went home?"
"I did, and then I came back to the pet store to grab some things for Sammy. So how did it go?"
I sigh, standing up from the floor. I cannot be distracted with Sammy if I am going to talk about Marcus. "He apologized and asked me for a second chance."
Emily's eyes widen. "He apologized?"
I nod, looking her in the eyes. "Yep. He apologized."
"So, are you going to give him another chance?"
I shrug, not really knowing how to answer that. "I do not know yet. I told him I would have to think about it."
Emily comes and sits down by me. "I took part in that cheating. I knew what I was doing, and I did it anyway. So, trust me when I tell you that it is never going to happen again. And I really think you should give him another chance. He is a great guy, Mia. Even though he fucked up, I would not have set you up with him if I did not think you guys would be good for each other."
I avoid her eyes. "I really want to give him a second chance, Em. That is the problem. I almost feel like my feelings are overshadowing the reality of it."
"That is not necessarily a bad thing. I mean, everybody has done things. Sometimes you just have to move past it and hope they redeem themselves. And I know Marcus can do that."
I sigh. This is not the conversation I was hoping to have with Emily. "Can we not talk about Marcus, please? I will figure that shit out later. How has Sammy been?"
Emily sighs, clearly unhappy that I am not cooperating. "Sammy has been wonderful; the perfect puppy."
I give her a disbelieving look.
"Okay, okay. That is not entirely true. Once we got home, he was so excited that he peed on the floor. That was just nasty."
I laugh. What I would give to see Emily cleaning up puppy pee off the floor.
"Are you ready for this party tonight?"
I groan. I had completely forgotten about that stupid party I agreed to go to. "Shit. I completely forgot about that. What the fuck am I going to even wear?"
Emily grins, clapping her hands together excitedly. "Leave that to me." She makes a beeline for my closet, eager to get her hands on some clothes.
I roll my eyes, looking down at Sammy. "Your mommy is crazy, Sammy." He replies by peppering my face with puppy licks.
Emily waltzes back in, only a few seconds later, with three different outfit choices.
"Jesus, Em. That took like a minute."
She just shrugs. "Try them on."
I sigh but take the clothes regardless and wander to my bathroom. If I try to fight Emily on this, I will lose.
The first outfit she chose is ridiculous. It is a tight-fitting black dress that hits just below my hips. Calling it short is a major understatement. Oh, and did I mention it is so low-cut that I am in danger of flashing everyone at the party?
Regardless, I walk out to show Emily. I find her right outside the door with Sammy on Emily's lap. Emily's eyes light up once she sees me. "Damn, Mia. You look good."
Seriously? "Emily, no. This dress is way too skimpy for my taste. I am barely wearing anything." I pivot on my heel and walk back into the bathroom before Emily can say anything more.
The next outfit I try on is much better. It consists of a pair of dark-wash skinny jeans and a loose-fitting tank top. I can easily see me wearing this with my slip-on vans and a plaid shirt tied around my waist.
I walk out to show Emily, who looks less excited than before. "It is a party, Mia. You cannot wear jeans to a party."
"You picked it out."
She shrugs, averting her attention back to Sammy.
I walk back into the bathroom, trying on the final outfit.
And it is perfect. Emily picked out a beautiful sundress that I did not even know I had in my closet. It is a fit and flare teal sundress that hugs my curves in all the right places. I absolutely love it and I really hope Emily approves. And if she does not, then screw her. I am going to wear it anyway.
As soon as I walk out, I know Emily likes it. "Mia, you have to wear that tonight. Ryan is not going to know what hit him."
Unintentionally, I blush. "I am not trying to impress Ryan."
Emily gives me a look that says I do not believe you one bit. "Right, okay. Want me to do your makeup? Because if you do, then we need to start now. We have like an hour until the party."
"I was just going to put on some mascara and maybe powder."
Emily scoffs. "Mia, please. A hot guy who is interested in you is going to see you tonight. Your face needs more than just mascara and powder. You need a miracle." She grabs my wrist and pulls me into my bathroom.
~~~
Thirty minutes later, Emily is finally done with my face. She actually does not make me look too alien. I still look like me, even though she put a lot of makeup on my face. "Can I get up now?"
I have been sitting in this uncomfortable wooden chair for thirty minutes while Emily messes with my face. My back is killing me. I get up and stretch, feeling some relief.
Emily just laughs. "Beauty is pain, girl. Beauty is pain."
"Beauty is not worth the pain. Want to get something to eat before the party?"
"Yeah, but we are going to be late to the party. Unlike you, I still have to find something to wear and do my hair and makeup. Speaking of which, what are you going to do with your hair?"
I hold up my bottle of dry shampoo. "I am going to put this in my hair and that is it." I braided my hair last night after I took a shower, so my hair is falling in soft, beachy waves today. I do not really think I need to do much to it besides dry shampoo.
Emily scrunches up her face but decides not to fight with me on this. Instead, she walks out of the room and goes to get herself ready.
I spray all parts of my hair with the dry shampoo and scrunch it up. I stare at myself in the mirror, strangely wondering what Ryan will think of me tonight. I play with the hem of my dress, swaying side to side to watch it float around me. I smooth out a few wrinkles, and decide I am good to go.
I walk into my bedroom, wondering what Emily is going to wear tonight.
To no surprise, she has on the tight black dress I had on earlier. "Christ, Emily. You might as well just wear nothing to the party."
"Well, that would get the boys' attention." She turns around and winks at me.
I roll my eyes. "Are you really that desperate? Get a boyfriend that loves sex. Then you will be happy."
She waves my thought away, like it is a stupid thing to even bring up. "Too much effort to have a boyfriend. They are much too needy. Sure, he might like sleeping with me now, but soon he will want a commitment. Right now, that is just not what I need."
I keep quiet. Emily's love life has been rocky for a while now, and I do not want to get into it with her right now.
Emily's boyfriend of four years cheated on her with her own sister, Layla. That was two years ago. Ever since then, Emily has sworn off having a relationship with anybody. The only way she even thinks about getting close to a boy is through sex. I personally do not agree with the way she is handling it, but Emily is going to do what Emily wants to do.
"Are you done, Em? We probably should get going. If we leave now, we will still be about an hour late to the party."
Emily looks back at me and smiles. "Fashionably late. I like it. Plus, you get way mo
re attention walking in late than you do walking in on time."
I nod, agreeing with her. Emily is always "perfectly late" to a party. I have learned over the years, even though I have never gone to a party myself, that being an hour late is the only way to arrive at a party. "So, are you done?"
Emily nods. "Yep. We can go."
I slip on my beige sandals and grab my purse, following Emily out the door.
We make it as far as the front desk before we realize we do not know where to go. Emily turns toward me. "Uh, Mia? Where are we going?"
I shrug, not really knowing where to go besides The Surf Shack. "Want to drive into the city and go someplace?" There are plenty of options there.
"Yeah, but did you bring your keys?"
~~~
After finally getting into the city and settling into Biaggi's Restaurant, I realize I am starving. Yeah, I ate a shit ton of food at The Surf Shack earlier, but that was earlier. I decide upon a dinner portion of Chicken Parmigiana and flavored mashed potatoes. Emily, being who she is, gets a salad. A salad. It is not like she has any reason to watch her weight.
After the waiter leaves us, Emily gets right down to business. "So, have you decided about Marcus yet?"
I sigh. Not this again. "You literally just asked me this a couple hours ago. So, no. I have not decided about Marcus yet."
"Oh, come on, Mia. I thought this would be an easy decision for you. Do you love him?"
"Emily." She cannot ask that. It is not fair.
"What? It is a valid question. Right before you broke up, he told you he loved you. Do you feel the same way? If you can easily say yes, then you do not have anything to decide about."
"I cannot easily say that I love him. It is not an easy thing to say anyway. I do not even know if I am ready to take that step yet."
"I think that new guy Ryan is clouding your judgment. You are confused."
I shake my head. "I am not confused, Emily. Ryan is nobody to me. Just an acquaintance."
She gives me a disbelieving look. "A nobody who invited you to a party. And you are going. I practically had to bribe you to go to that one party."
"And look how that turned out." I broke up with my boyfriend and my best friend because of that stupid party.
Emily sighs, annoyed I keep bringing it up. "Let it go. Jesus Christ, Mia. Okay, maybe things are shitty right now. But I still think you are going to thank my ass later. You are going to be okay. So stop blaming me for what's happening right now. Okay?"
