Shannyn was ecstatic. In fact, she couldn’t believe her luck. She might be able to get the porch rebuilt over the summer—she needed a carpenter for that, to reproduce the wooden details.
All because she’d teamed up with Tyler to make a deal.
Even if she owed him a story.
But the fact was that after meeting his family, Shannyn had to wonder whether the truth would change everything.
This was the good stuff.
Shannyn was clearly thrilled, just as she had been with the furniture the previous weekend, and Ty liked that he was at least partly responsible for her happiness. She was getting the roof she needed, just as planned. Her introduction to his family had gone well, except for that first awkward moment. She’d charmed Katelyn and Jared, discussing their work with them in a way Ty could only admire. He was glad he’d taken the pictures and shown them to her. He knew that Lauren liked her, too.
Overall, Ty felt a tremendous sense that all was right in his world, and that the future held extraordinary promise.
The sun was setting and the sky was awash in shades of blue and orange as they drove back to the city. The traffic was light and Manhattan was starting to glitter ahead of them, the lights coming on as darkness fell. The air between them was tinged with electricity and he wondered whether she’d accept an invitation for dinner.
Ty didn’t want this day to end.
“You’re not pushing me about that story,” Shannyn said finally.
“I told you. I like winning propositions.” He smiled when she laughed. “You’ll either tell me or not. I’m good with whatever you decide.”
“Are you really that patient?”
“No, but I trust you that much. You said you’d tell me, so I’ll wait. You will when you’re ready.” He could feel her watching him, as if she couldn’t figure him out, and he was relieved to be a little bit interesting to a woman who could confuse him completely when she chose.
“I met Cole in my last year at college,” she said softly, staring out the opposite window. Her voice was tight and Ty wondered whether he really wanted to know the story or not. He didn’t like his sense that her reaction to Ethan involved Cole. “We met at a party and just clicked. He was impulsive and energetic, in love with the world. He seemed sincere and down to earth, and when I was with him, everything felt shiny and new. When he kissed me, it just felt right.” Ty saw her trace the edge of her purse with one fingertip. “We slept together that first night and I don’t think we were apart much after that. It became serious fast. Maybe it was serious from the outset. I don’t know. In a week, we were inseparable. In a month, we’d decided to get married. A month after graduation, we were married and sharing a teeny apartment in Brooklyn.”
So, their night together hadn’t been the first time she’d been impulsive about intimacy. Ty could believe that whatever had happened with Cole, Shannyn feared that they were on the same trajectory. “What was his major?”
“Biology. He’d talked about med school, but didn’t get in and decided to teach instead. We couldn’t afford to both stay in school, so I worked and he went to teachers’ college. It was only for a year.”
“What did you do?”
“I worked in a bridal store in Brooklyn. My mom knew the owner and I knew the business. She got me the job. It was a good shop, busy, and I worked a ton of hours. More than full time, because we needed the money. We celebrated when Cole graduated and got a job right away.” She fell silent, as if lost in memories.
“Did you go for your certification next?”
“That was the plan, but once Cole got a job, he began dreaming about the future. He talked about starting a family and doing it sooner rather than later, so that we could keep up to our kids. We laughed about that. He said it would be easier, but that was a lie.” Shannyn took an audible breath and spoke in an undertone. “There wasn’t one damn easy thing about it.”
Ty drove and waited.
Eventually, she cleared her throat and continued. “We bought the house then. It was love at first sight for me, but he always wanted a more modern house. He made a big deal of ceding to me, finally admitting that it would be a great house for kids to grow up in, that they’d have the kind of childhood that everyone dreamed about. So, the house only had merit for him as a place for kids to grow up.”
“Not because you loved it,” Ty guessed.
Shannyn shook her head. “I guess that was a warning flag.”
“Another one. You abandoned your career plans for his.”
“I didn’t think of it that way. I didn’t think I was giving anything up. I thought I was playing for the team. Even when...” She frowned and fell silent.
“Even when?”
“I wanted to be married in Harte’s Harbor but he wanted to be married sooner, with less fuss.” She shrugged and her careful tone revealed that the decision was more important than she wanted him to believe. “We went to city hall.”
“I’ll bet your mom was disappointed.”
Shannyn nodded and her tone was neutral when she spoke. “It was years before she told me she’d been making my wedding dress for me.”
Ouch. Cole had really fucked that up.
“I’ll wait for the bit he gave up,” Ty said wryly, guessing that Cole had never surrendered anything.
Shannyn turned to look at him, but he kept his gaze fixed on the road. “You’ll wait a while,” she said quietly.
“That’s what I thought.” Ty knew he sounded hard but he didn’t care. His urge to be a reckoning to Cole was stronger than ever, and Shannyn had only started her story.
“I had three miscarriages in eighteen months,” she confessed and he was surprised one more time. “My GP said I was young, and that it wasn’t cause for concern. I have a tipped uterus, but she said that just made it harder, not impossible. She suggested we keep trying. She thought that stress might be a factor, so Cole insisted that I quit my job.” She took a breath. “From that moment on, every facet of my life was about conception. What time of the month was it? What was my temperature? What were the best positions for conception? What douche should I use to ensure implantation? What should I eat? What shouldn’t I eat?” Shannyn’s voice rose. “Everything was about getting pregnant. It was the only thing Cole and I talked about, and the elephant in the room when we didn’t talk about it. When I had another miscarriage, Cole booked us for fertility counseling.”
Without even asking her. Ty knew that anything he said about everyone on the team contributing to a decision wouldn’t be welcome—and anything he said at all might stop Shannyn’s story.
“It was three and a half years of hell,” she said. “There’s no other word for it. It’s intrusive and consuming, it destroys the intimacy and the spontaneity of your relationship, and every failure leaves you feeling even more worthless than dirt. It’s expensive, too—that’s why there’s no equity in the house. We spent every nickel.”
“Couldn’t someone have helped you out?”
She shook her head. “My mom didn’t have any money to lend us and I wouldn’t have asked her. She has to take care of her own retirement and security.”
“Self-employed and a widow.”
“I don’t think Cole’s family had money to lend either, but it didn’t matter because he wouldn’t tell them what we were doing. He saw it as a failure and there was no one more relieved than Cole when the doctors confirmed that the issue was me.”
Ty tensed but he bit his tongue.
“So, we followed the protocol and spent the money, and every time there wasn’t good news, things got a little worse between us. Finally, the IVF worked and we conceived twins.”
“That sounds like good news.”
“Yes and no. I was high risk, and it was actually two separate placentas. They returned multiple fertilized eggs and two took.”
“So, not identical twins.”
“Fraternal.” She shrugged. “It often happens that way.” Her tone was carefully neutral and Ty brac
ed himself for the next part of the story. “Cole was thrilled. I felt so awful that I was less so.” She swallowed. “And then at one of my ultrasounds, the tech couldn’t find the second heartbeat.”
Ty gripped the steering wheel more tightly.
“I wasn’t that far along. Four months. One baby had died and the uterus did its thing. They tried to save the other one, but she was delivered, too, and too small to save. She died as soon as she got here.”
“I’m sorry,” Ty said when she fell silent again.
“Thank you. I was devastated. Cole was determined to go back to fertility again, as soon as possible, but I just couldn’t go through it again. We fought like we’d never fought before. It was horrible. We didn’t agree about anything anymore.”
Shannyn sighed and Ty once again had to accept that he couldn’t fix something for her, no matter how much he wanted to.
“In the end, we were supposed to go to my mom’s for the weekend. It was her birthday. Cole came home from work and just said he wasn’t coming along. He wouldn’t look me in the eye. We stood on opposite sides of the kitchen, him talking to the toaster and me talking to the fridge. And I was so tired and disheartened that I didn’t try to change his mind. I was actually looking forward to a break from what our marriage had become.” Ty saw her grip her purse more tightly. “I took the train to my mom’s and it was just the two of us. I cried a lot. I felt better when I came back, ready to fight another round, just because someone had listened to me.” She felt silent then.
“But he’d left,” Ty guessed.
“How did you know that?”
“Foreshadowing.” He flicked her a glance, almost smiling.
Shannyn didn’t even try to hold his gaze. She looked down at her purse and Ty knew she was hurting, even remembering Cole’s abandonment. “There was a note on the counter, right where he’d been standing, along with his keys. The furniture was all gone and so was the car. The note said that if I wanted to keep the house, we could work it out. He said he’d hire the lawyer. And that was it.”
What an asshole.
Fourteen
The car was silent after Shannyn finished her story. It was strange but she felt better for sharing it. Lighter, as if she’d been carrying a burden on her shoulders and finally put it down.
Tyler really was too easy to talk to. She wiped her eyes and checked her eyeliner, then risked a glance in his direction.
He was tense and his mouth was in a grim line. He must have sensed her sidelong glance because he spoke without looking in her direction at all. “How long were you together?” The words were clipped and precise.
“Seven years.”
“And he didn’t even have the balls to look you in the eye and say goodbye?” He changed gears, hard, as Shannyn’s heart swelled.
He was so protective. It was quite sweet, but unnecessary.
“You don’t understand,” she explained. “I didn’t deliver. I didn’t give him what he wanted. In the end, he didn’t love me enough to stay with me when I wouldn’t even try again. He saw it as a lack of faith.”
“So do I, but in your marriage, not your fertility.”
Shannyn shook her head. “No, that’s not it. Everything is a transaction. It always has been and it always will be. Cole proved that even love, or what people choose to call love, is a transaction, too. If you can’t give your partner what he wants, he’ll walk away.”
“What a lot of shit,” Tyler said as he pulled into her driveway. He turned off the car and pivoted to face Shannyn. “You were married,” he said, his tone emphatic. “You were partners. That means that you work together for common goals. You consult with each other. You help each other. You hold each other up when things don’t go well, and you celebrate your triumphs together. That’s what it means to be a team.”
“He wanted kids.”
“He wanted you first.”
“Apparently, only so I could give him kids. When I couldn’t do that, he didn’t want me anymore.”
Tyler’s tone was fierce. “Then he was—and probably still is—an idiot and you deserve better.” He was so vehement, so sure, and Shannyn couldn’t just let it go.
“Volunteering?” she asked, intending to tease him but it didn’t come out quite right.
“What if I was?” His voice dropped and his eyes darkened, his gaze falling to her mouth. Shannyn felt a perfectly predictable reaction to that simmering look.
“Then I’d tell you to forget it,” she said, knowing she was speaking with more resolve than she felt. “I’d remind you that we have an arrangement and nothing more than that.”
“And there’s nothing more you want?” he asked softly. “Not another deal you want to negotiate?”
Shannyn knew there was and decided to ask for it. “Sex again,” she said quickly, before she could question her impulse. “But fast and hard this time.”
“What was wrong with last time?”
“Nothing. I just want to know what it’s like when you let loose, when you’re not all about staying in control and taking it slow.” He was watching her so intently that he didn’t even blink. Shannyn stretched across the car to whisper in his ear. “I want to know what it’s like for you to want me and take me.”
He caught his breath and looked away, his throat working. “Why?”
“I’m curious.”
Tyler shook his head. “No. It sounds dangerous, like you could get hurt.” He flicked a questioning look at her. “Is that what you really want?”
“No, and I wouldn’t get hurt.”
“I’m a lot bigger than you.”
“But you’re a nice guy. You’d never hurt me.” Shannyn froze as she realized what she’d said. She’d given him the reason to walk away, without meaning to do so.
And that was it. He’d take his victory and drive away.
But Tyler just smiled, his satisfaction clear.
Shannyn took a breath. “So, there you go. Mission accomplished. You’ve changed my mind about you and I’ve admitted it.” She reached for the car door but Tyler put a fingertip on her arm.
“That’s not really it, is it, Taz?” he asked quietly and she was startled that he used her nickname. “You’re just trying to push me away, and it’s not going to work nearly that easily.”
“But...”
“I think you’ve been hurt and you’re scared and that’s fair.” He placed a fingertip across her lips, stopping her heart and silencing her with one gentle touch. “There’s something really good happening here. Something unlike anything I’ve had before. Don’t you want to see where it goes?”
Shannyn lifted his hand away. “It’s not going anywhere.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m positive. It’s just novelty. You’re visiting my neighborhood, so to speak, and will go back to your own when you get bored.”
“What if I never get bored?”
“I think you will.”
“Why? Are you?”
Shannyn parted her lips but then she couldn’t lie. “No,” she admitted quietly. “Not nearly.”
He smiled slightly. “Not nearly,” he repeated as if she’d made a huge concession. He ran his hands over the steering wheel, clearly choosing his words with care, maybe deciding how much to tell her. “Here’s what I think,” he said finally. “I think you feel the same electric attraction I feel, and that you want to do it fast and hard so you can pretend it’s just sport sex.” He turned to meet her gaze, his own knowing. “I think you’re afraid to make love, to look me in the eye, to maybe let me see that it’s not just about pleasure.”
Shannyn’s breath caught and she couldn’t think of a thing to say. She was lost in his intense gaze.
“And so I have a challenge for you,” Tyler continued in that smooth persuasive tone. “We can do it fast, but only if we do it slow after that. Call it compare and contrast.”
Twice.
But it was just sex.
She could do this—and more importantly,
she wanted to.
Shannyn sensed that Tyler was uncertain of what she’d do, and the temptation of surprising him was too much to resist.
Her choice made, she reached over and ran her fingertip across his mouth, watching his eyes darken. “You’re on,” she said. “Fast and hard first, on the kitchen counter.”
“You’re on,” he said, and got out of the car so fast that Shannyn was laughing when he opened her door.
“Motivated?”
“I like to win,” he said with a cocky smile. “Let’s do this thing.”
Fast and hard on the kitchen counter.
As much as Ty liked to take it slow and savor Shannyn, as much as he wanted to make it last, there was something thrilling about her challenge. If she wanted it fast, he’d deliver—so that she never had it better again. She fumbled with her keys as she was fitting the one into the lock, and he lifted them out of her hand, opening the door and ushering her inside.
He pulled down the blind on the door and shut the curtains. “If it’s going to be like this, you have to be wet.”
“I’ve got that covered,” she said, a thread of humor in her voice.
Ty pivoted to find that Shannyn had lifted her dress over her head and she tossed it toward a kitchen chair as he watched. She was wearing lingerie, which he hadn’t expected. Her merry widow was navy blue lace and satin with garters that stretched down to the lace tops of her stockings. It made her look tinier and more delicate, her skin seeming fair against the dark lace. Her breasts were nestled in lace cups and he could see the nipples through the lace. Ty could smell her arousal, which had to be the most seductive scent ever. He didn’t think he’d ever been so hard in his life.
She watched him as she pinched her own nipples, her expression playful, then she rolled them between finger and thumb.
“That’s my job,” he said, shedding his jacket and casting it in the general direction of the kitchen table. In one smooth move, he pinned Shannyn against the counter and replaced her hands with his own. Her nipples were already hard and he was a little rough with them, his touch making her moan. She guided his thumb ring to one nipple and rubbed it across the tight peak, holding his gaze as she parted her lips and gasped. Ty took the hint, continuing to torment her with the edge of the ring as he cupped her head in his other hand and kissed her hard. It was a demanding and possessive kiss, a claiming, and his heart jumped when Shannyn more than met him halfway. She wrapped one leg around his and caught his face in her hands, feasting on his mouth, using her teeth and tongue to drive him into a fury of need.
Just One Fake Date: A Contemporary Romance (Flatiron Five Fitness Book 1) Page 25
