by A. J. Logan
Candace clasps her hands together, folding them under her chin. “Francis made spaghetti with meatballs, your favorite.”
“Yes, my favorite when I was seven.”
Candace shifts uncomfortably before she looks back to me. “What’s your favorite meal now?”
“Ask Dad, he knows.” My voice is flat as I enjoy her flushed expression. My own mother doesn’t know me. The seven-year-old she remembers died when she walked out on her.
Nathan clears his throat, playing peacemaker as usual by changing the subject. “I meant to mention that you are welcome to park in the house garage, in case it rains or something.”
That reminds me. “I don’t mind parking in the other garage, but do you happen to have a spare key fob? I think mine fell out of my bag at school today.”
“Yep, I ordered five extras.”
I choke on the swallow of water as some sprays out of my mouth. “Five? Aren’t they, like, four hundred dollars each or something?”
“Yeah, something,” he chuckles, “but it never hurts to have backups. My keys fell out of my bag more than once at school.”
It is utterly freaky how in tune he is with either my lies or the way the student life works or both. Either way, it’s just plain irritating that he can read the situation so well.
“I’m guessing you need a ride to school in the morning.”
“Good guess.” Again. “Thank you.”
Francis places the main course on the table as everyone digs in. It’s my first birthday dinner of many that will no longer include my dad, so I spend most of the time pushing food around my plate.
The only time I smile is when Tanner is trying to jam an entire piece of birthday cake into his mouth, so I slide him my slice too.
The bedroom door clicks shut, and I lean against it for a moment, relieved my birthday is almost over. I spy a small gift box sitting on my bed. Unhurriedly, I move closer to see my phone and the Audi’s key fob sitting beside the red box. My eyes dart around the room, stopping on the open balcony door.
Asher had been in my room.
Rushing to the door, I slam it shut, turning the lock as I glance over the balcony. It was locked when I’d gone downstairs. I remember locking it as Tanner impatiently begged me to hurry because he wanted birthday cake.
Picking up my phone, Asher had programmed his number in, which meant he’d been able to get it unlocked. There’s an unread message from him: The wickedest evil hides in plain sight.
An ominous feeling overtakes me. Asher is a lunatic. How deep does it go? is the important question.
Glancing at the red box, I hesitantly pick it up, untying the black ribbon before pulling the lid off. My fingers slide across smooth red metal … a key.
Jumping at the sound of a text, I hold my breath as I read it.
Asher: Keep it safe because you never know when it will set you free.
His game is getting sicker and more devious by the day, and it hasn’t been that many days. And why is it still bothering me that I’m nothing more than a stupid game to him?
Slamming the lid shut, I toss the box on my bag.
I don’t want any part of this. The extreme and conflicting sensations he wrenches out of me are constantly making my head spin.
Done.
Scrolling through my messages, there’s nothing from Haley. Had he deleted them? Pushing her name, I listen to the rings as my call goes unanswered. My best friend didn’t forget about my birthday. He better not have done anything to her … even I have my limits when it comes to enduring his absurd game and my best friend is off-limits.
I send a quick text to Mason. We still haven’t spoken, but he said he understood when I’d finally gathered the nerve to text him. Hopefully, one day I’ll have the nerve to do more than just text, but today isn’t that day.
Crawling into bed, I look over to the balcony door. There’s no way I can live like this for the school year. As much as I want to accept Nathan’s deal, I’m at my max. Fully anticipating his appearance, I eye my balcony door. I can’t even get away from him in the security of what’s supposed to be my space. And the truly scary thought … part of me wants him to appear, which is even more troubling. Living with Haley is better than being here. Anything has to be better than being here.
16
Following Nathan into the Java Knox coffee shop, I’m not surprised when I see several uniformed students since it’s across the highway from the school. Nathan orders a black coffee before I tell the barista that I’d like a quad-shot latte. I need every ounce of caffeine I can get after my sleepless night.
We grab our drinks off the bar before taking a seat at one of the few open tables near the window.
“I can just wait at school if you need to get to work,” I say, taking a sip of the hot liquid as it stings my tongue.
“Enjoy your coffee. I figured this would give us a chance to talk.”
“About?”
“Decision time.” He cocks his head to the side.
“I don’t want to stay.” I feel guilty turning his offer down even if I have no reason to feel that way.
“I understand.” His expression changes, disappointment obvious. “I just really thought you’d take the deal. I even had a contract drawn up.”
“Contract?”
“Yep. I’m a man of my word but I still request a contract when doing deals.”
“I just want to go home.” Looking down at my hands, my fingers encircle the warm paper to-go cup. I know my home doesn’t exist as it had, but it has to feel better than this.
“I get it. I know you’re eighteen and can take off at any minute, but can you do me a favor and hang around until the weekend? I’ll even help you pack up and drive you back … just give Tanner a few more days to enjoy his sister’s company. Better yet, stay until then and you’re welcome to keep the R8. Consider it a birthday present because it was meant for you.”
Biting back the tears threatening to spill over at the thought of leaving Tanner, I nod, unable to refuse the extravagant gift which I already know Nathan well enough to know that’d be a losing argument on my side. I don’t know him all that well, seeing as I caught him red-handed in a secret meeting with Monica. I want to have faith that he doesn’t have ulterior motives, but one thing I’ve learned in this world is people do as they please to get what they want. Part of me wants to trust that Nathan is just a good guy though. Even if it’s not true, I need to believe there is something good behind his intentions. And having a vehicle would help since I’ll be getting a job and it’ll make visiting Tanner easier, that’s if Candace will allow me to. She absolutely won’t be as understanding as Nathan.
“Quinn,” Nathan says softly, waiting until I meet his gaze. “You are always welcome to come back to your home away from home. Don’t forget that, all right?”
“Thank you.” The words come out barely as a squeak as Nathan pats my hand, smiling as he sips his coffee, glancing around the coffee shop.
A group of students leaving Java Knox catches my attention. They’re all piling into a truck, seemingly cheerful, as they head to school together. Two more days and I won’t be a part of their world, but back to the one where I didn’t feel so out of place. Hopefully, my old life won’t feel that way too.
Walking back into the school, I feel some hope. Two days, I can do this.
Stepping to my locker, I hide the second key fob that Nathan handed me this morning since I didn’t tell him about the original magically appearing on my bed last night. And it doesn’t hurt to have an extra in case it goes missing again today.
On my way to class, I spot Asher and Elliot casually talking in the hallway. Two days and I’m done, but I need to figure out a few answers because he is driving me insane.
“Quinnster!” Elliot hollers when I step in front of them.
My arms reflectively fold across my chest as I look at Asher. “How did you get into my bedroom last night?”
A few students halt, looking between us
with curious eyes. Who wouldn’t want to hear the answer when the question leaves so much to the imagination?
Elliot gasps, lightly punching Asher in the arm. But Asher doesn’t show any reaction.
“How?”
He tilts his head back, looking at me through hooded eyes. “The real question is why.”
“Fine. Why, Asher, why?”
He remains silent. I know he won’t give me any answers, even if I’d asked the “real” question first. “I’m sick of your mind fucks. Stay away from me.”
His expression wavers as he moves to step to me. “Is there another type of fuck you want to try?”
My cheeks redden as a few more students stop to look on. They have to know he’s a raging maniac, but that doesn’t keep me from the embarrassment of being at the center of his three-ring circus.
He speaks lowly as the gathering crowd strains to hear. “Or did you get that on your ride home yesterday?”
The fact that it bothers him, sends a sense of delight through me. “That’s none of your business.”
“Yes. It is,” he says clearly, loudly, for the audience.
Did I really think we could have a rational conversation that would make sense? I move to step away. “No. It’s—”
His arm snakes around my waist, spinning me until my back is against the locker where he was standing. Possessively towering over me, I feel his heated words radiating in his stance before they leave his mouth. “You are mine.”
His frustration insinuates that I should already be aware of this. That alone should piss me off, but the rage he’s directing at me only fuels my desire to bring a further rise out of him, a clear indicator that whatever I’m feeling for him isn’t anything that I should want. But I’m nothing more than a game in his eyes. Even so, might as well hit his buttons as hard as he’s smacking mine. “No, I’m not.”
“Asher,” Elliot says, his playful demeanor is nowhere in sight, masked by annoyance as he pushes an unwavering Asher. “Cut the shit, Asher. She’s had enough.”
“Yes. I’ve had more than enough of your shit.” My chest is rising and falling as I stare at Asher, who doesn’t budge when the first period bell rings. His fierce eyes penetrate me just as they had each time I’d closed my eyes last night, questioning if he would appear in my bedroom. There’d been a moment where I’d wished he would, just so I’d know where he was instead of wondering if he was lurking in the shadows.
“Asher.” Elliot manages to wedge in between us as Asher steps back. I watch as they walk away with Elliot telling him something that I can’t hear.
I should be terrified of Asher Hastings, my own personal Hades. Instead, I want to return the torment he is bestowing upon me, infuse myself as deep in his twisted world as he has mine. Desiring him—that is what petrifies me. The sooner I’m out of this place, the better. Two days is too long. Today is my last day, and I’m never returning to this craziness.
Never.
17
My last meal … sounds dramatic, yeah, but it’s such a relief. The last time I’ll be sitting at the wooden picnic table while a maniac scowls at me from a distance. I’d considered sitting on the other side of the table with my back to him but the thought of not seeing where he is freaks me out more than his exasperating looks.
Looking down at my phone, I scroll through my texts. No new ones, not even from Haley. She hasn’t called either. My eyes slowly look up to see the devious glare on me.
He did something. He had to.
Haley and I have celebrated our birthdays together for as long as I can remember. There’s no way she forgot. What if something else is wrong? I’ve already lost my dad. I can’t lose her too.
I’m typing another text to Haley as Victoria takes a seat across the table. She doesn’t say a word, flipping open a textbook, she begins studying. What a relief, but I can’t help but notice her usually flawless appearance is off today. There’s puffiness under her red, swollen eyes when she looks up, catching me studying her.
“What?”
“Everything okay?” I ask. She feels just as shut off as I am, but it’s my last day. The whole fourth day of friendship, I guess I can at least ask her if she is all right.
“Fine.” She resumes her studies.
Something is definitely off. She isn’t touching her tray of food, instead keeping intent on the math book before her.
I don’t push, it’s not my place, and I know better than anyone, pushing isn’t the way to reach someone. Scrolling through my phone, I enjoy the silence of company even if she’s struggling as much as I am. How messed up is that?
Scribbling useless notes for the upcoming safety text, I keep my head down. I’m actually going to miss the smell of pine. Maybe Edgewood has a woodshop class I can sign up for.
“Hey, do you have plans tomorrow night?” Grant pokes my arm with his pencil as I look up.
“Yes.” Getting the hell out of here.
“Oh,” he says, looking back down to his notebook. “If anything changes, there’s a party that should be fun.”
“I’ll pass.” Even if I didn’t have plans, a party around here doesn’t sound appealing.
“We could always grab a bite to eat or catch a movie if you want.”
I keep writing for a second before looking up.
“Thanks, but I don’t think I’ll be around this weekend.” Or after I should add, but for some reason, I want to hold back that information. I’d rather slip away without announcing it. There’s no need to advertise the fact that I’m leaving.
“Maybe another time.” He smiles before resuming his notes.
The final bell rings, and I’m relieved that the school day is officially over.
“Did you need a ride home today?” Grant asks as we walk out of the school.
I hold up my key fob that I’ve kept a remarkably close eye on as I smile. “Nope. I’m good today, but thanks.”
“Anytime,” he winks, walking to his car as I slide into the driver’s seat of mine.
Dialing Haley again, the call goes unanswered. I dial Mason’s number. They are both off school already because they are lucky enough to have early dismissal.
The automated voice message sounds on the other end of the line as Mason doesn’t answer either. He is probably at football practice or something. Nothing is wrong.
Looking up, I see Asher leaning in that same position against his car like he’d been yesterday. His lip curls in a slight smile.
I’m just being paranoid. He’s sick, but there’s no way he’s that cruel—at least I hope not. Haley is the only person who feels like family that I have left.
One thing is for sure, if he did anything to sabotage our friendship, I will not let it slide.
18
I’m unsure what’s happening with Candace, but she’s been awfully understanding today. I glance over at her as we eat dinner. She hadn’t freaked out when I’d told her I’d decided to move out. Even the news that I didn’t want to go to school today went over surprisingly well. Candace even let Tanner stay home from school so we could spend the day together, shopping for hours at the mall. According to her, everyone needs a “mental health day” sometimes. And she was right, spending the day with Tanner was perfect.
I didn’t pick out anything at her urging, instead I enjoyed helping Tanner pick out his new Lego set. He was so excited he actually ate his food so he could go back to his room and put it together.
Grabbing my plate off the table, I walk over to the sink to rinse it. Yes, Francis could do it, but it feels weird to have her do such an effortless task that is second nature to me.
“Before you head upstairs, I wanted to speak with you about something.” Candace motions for me to have a seat back at the table.
That doesn’t sound good. And the usual relaxed expression is gone from Nathan’s face so it must be serious.
I stiffly sit at the table across from them. “What happened?”
“Oh nothing, Quinn.” Candace gives me a tig
ht smile. “It’s just … we wanted to talk to you before you leave about having a memorial service for your dad.”
The air is sucked out of my lungs. So much for all the mental health progress we’d made together. Candace erased it with one sentence.
“I can’t.”
Candace reaches across the table to place her hand on mine, but I jerk it away before she reaches me. “Quinn, I know it’s difficult but—”
“No, you don’t know,” I say, biting the inside of my lip as a bitter, metallic taste floods my taste buds. Candace doesn’t know me … the man that was actually there for my entire life does.
“You need to get some closure if you ever hope to move on.”
“Closure? They haven’t even found him yet. How will staring at a picture of him while everyone sheds phony tears give me closure?”
“I’m not going to sugarcoat it, Quinn, because you don’t want a line just to make you feel better.” Nathan speaks softly as Candace remains still. “The harsh truth is they might not find him. But we want to give you the opportunity if you’d like to say goodbye, pay your respects. And I’m sure there are plenty of people who would shed anything but phony tears for your dad.”
A tear falls down my cheek as I say the words I haven’t spoken since the day after I found out my dad was gone. I can’t let the thought go because I need to cling to something for an ounce of hope. “What if he’s not gone?”
Candace’s hand shoots to her mouth as she lets out a soft gasp.
“Quinn,” Nathan says with such pity that it pierces straight to my heart.
“He’s a climber. That cliff would’ve been nothing for him to scale. Maybe he made it out and he’s fine.” Tears roll down my cheeks, knowing it’s so unlikely, but it’s the only thought that has kept me from completely losing it, even if I know how impossible it is.
