I did not feel beholden to her, however, and though Captain Campbell had pressed some coin into my hand, I had no intention of being bought. I would do my best for Charlotte because I wanted to give the little mite a good start in life, not because the captain had paid me. Once I had settled into my room, I concluded that I had got the best of the deal, as my room benefited from early morning light while Mrs. Campbell’s had to endure the heat of the afternoon sun, and it was hot on the day we disembarked.
It seemed strange to walk about unguarded, and it wasn’t long before I headed to the garrison to see how Prickship was. He was billeted with garrison soldiers but his wound gained him privileges that the soldiers did not share. Without his uniform, he looked a lesser figure of a man but although he was in some considerable pain, he had shed the air of authority that he had carried on the ship.
‘How are you, Pr… Mr. Mason?’ I greeted him. ‘I am so sorry you have ended up like this. If there is anything I can do to assist you, then please send for me.’
His voice no longer carried the stern tones he had generally used.
‘I am as well as can be expected, Esther.’ I noticed he was no longer calling me Miss Coad, or even Miss Esther. ‘However, this is not a place I want to be. The doctor says I will recover should I rest and do as you tell me. He has given me a letter to a physician in London who he hopes will direct my treatment when I get back home.’
‘Do as I tell you?’ I repeated in surprise.
‘Yes,’ he replied. ‘Dr. Grieve is not returning with us and I am to be put into your gracious care.’
I was bitterly disappointed to hear this as I had thought that the doctor would travel back to England with us.
Prickship must have noticed my downcast look. ‘Clearly the doctor is an important emissary of His Majesty’s Government,’ he said. ‘Why else would he have brought secret messages to the Commander?’
I had forgotten that it was in the doctor’s official capacity that we had been fortunate enough to meet again and that his duties could not be just put aside at will; if indeed they were to be put aside at all!
We sat together for a while and talked of generalities, but I confess my heart wasn’t in it, and I was rather relieved when a guard appeared with a message from Mrs. Campbell telling me - not asking, but telling me - to return at once. I stood, and Prickship reached for my hand before thanking me again for my part in his rescue. I hurried away, dropping his hand as quickly as he had taken it.
I returned to our cottage and went in with a determined air about me. I was not going to be treated like a lowly servant girl and it was time to set Mrs. Campbell right.
I went to my room to remove my shawl and was astonished to find little Charlotte in her crib, alongside my bed. She was fast asleep and looked just like an angel. I traced my fingers along her unblemished skin and sighed. How I would love a child of my own, a brother or sister for Beth. I went to her mother’s room and was further surprised to find her abed with a hectic rash all over her face and what I could see of her body.
‘Esther, where have you been?’ she demanded. ‘I felt so unwell and I can’t have Charlotte with me like this. I have put her in your room.’
‘So I see,’ I replied. ‘And what do you think has caused this? Have you a temperature?’ I put my hand to her forehead and though it was warm it didn’t seem to be anything to worry about. ‘When did the rash come on?’
‘This morning, after I washed and dressed. Do you think Charlotte is alright? I couldn’t bear anything to disfigure her.’ She was looking at my pox-damaged face as she spoke.
‘Did you wash her?’ I asked.
‘Well, no, she was wriggling such a lot, I thought I would wait for you to do it.’
‘What did you use to wash yourself with?’
‘A soap that I bought at the market. It smells very pretty, of lemons and sweet stuff.’
‘What do you usually use for your toilet? Have you still got any?’
‘Well yes,’
‘Then I suggest you rewash yourself with lots of cool water and your usual preparation and see if that makes a difference. You have no temperature and it might well be simply something that disagrees with your skin. It is a good job you didn’t wash the child. We must be very careful of local produce until we have got used to things. I will keep Charlotte with me tonight but you will need to feed her when she wakes, and as soon as you are better, then she must come back to you. I am not your servant, Madam, and I would prefer that you notice that distinction.’ I nodded coldly to her and swept out of the room. I knew all too well that I had suggested on board ship that I could be her nursemaid but that was when I had no other option and she hadn’t actually accepted the suggestion. Things had changed now.
Chapter Thirty-Three
The surgeon recounts the medical benefits of tobacco smoke as he recounts the case of a man who had fallen overboard and been under water for 12 minutes. Brought on board with the appearance of a corpse, he was taken to the galley, where he was stripped and dried and put in a warm bed with bottles of hot water. Tobacco smoke was conveyed to his lungs through the tube of a common pipe. After a further 45 minutes the surgeon observed an obscure palpitation of the heart”, the tobacco smoke was continued and after a further 10 minutes “he sighed faintly and closed his mouth”.
Shortly afterwards a pulse was detected at the wrist and the tobacco smoke was discontinued.
The treatment was hailed a success however in the next journal he is discharged to Haslar Hospital with pneumonia.
Diary of a Ship’s Surgeon
Dr. Grieve called at the house later in the evening to introduce a young woman who was to clean and prepare meals for us. This domestic arrangement was of little interest to me as I only wanted to know about how things stood for him, and after the young woman had gone we sat down together, alone, in the little sitting room.
‘I am sorry to hear you are not returning to London with us,’ I ventured.
‘Mm, yes, I suppose Mason told you,’ he replied. ‘I have some business to attend to, on behalf of His Majesty, and it is unlikely it will be completed for some time to come. However, as soon as I am able, I will be returning to Lewes and we can discuss future plans, for myself, and for you, if you so choose. I would like nothing better, Esther, my dear, than to return with you but I have obligations that could put our men in jeopardy if I renege on them.’
I felt so selfish at that moment and hastened to assure the Doctor that I was content to await his return, but I was cast down. So much can happen to upset even the smallest of objectives, particularly as we were in a fortified garrison which was clearly on a war footing.
Carefully, I composed myself to present a more cheerful face, as he continued, ‘One of the reasons I came to see you tonight is to tell you that I have to leave tomorrow on an important mission and that I hope, for your sake, that you will be gone when I return in a few weeks.’ He paused, seeing me struggle to maintain my spirits. When I had recovered myself, he went on, ‘Also, that you will find passage on a comfortable vessel. I have received assurances from the Commander that everything will be done to ensure your safe passage and comfort. With luck your journey will be quicker than the one out. I know you will do everything you can to help Mrs. Campbell and Mason, but I have letters here that should ease your passage and, importantly, your status.’
He took my hand and looked directly into my eyes before lifting a thumb to wipe away a tear that had escaped and was finding its way down my cheek.
‘The Commander has guaranteed that you will be under his protection no matter which vessel you are on, Esther,’ he said gently as he offered me his handkerchief. ‘I also want to give you some guineas to help if you are stuck here for any length of time and to help you travel once you get back to England. I know you have pride, Esther, but you must remember who your patrons are, and perhaps a good seamstress
would help remind others of your position. Sadly, nowadays, people look at the outer person before noticing the inner, if indeed they ever do. One of the letters is to my tailor in London who will ensure you are comfortably dressed - you will find his direction on the reverse.’
I was so relieved, I hadn’t wanted to return looking like a convict or an unsuitably dressed servant, and I had been intending to write to Cecilia to ask if I could borrow some money to enable me to get home to Lewes. I smiled thankfully, blinking my tears away before blowing my nose. ‘Thank you, you have thought of everything. I am so grateful,’ I cried.
We sat closely together in comfortable silence. Fortunately, Mrs. Campbell had gone to bed, and as my spirits lifted, I said, ‘I can’t wait to get home, but though the past few weeks have been terrifying at times, they have also opened my mind to different ways of life. Perhaps, what I am trying to say is that the way I used to think is not quite how I see things now.’ I blushed at my awkward and obvious way of telling him that I might be open to his attentions.
‘Let us not talk about such emotional things now, my dear. We have both learned much about ourselves, and I know you loved Wilf very much. It distresses me greatly to know how much you have suffered. When I return, and we are both settled back into the gentler environs of Lewes, we will look at ourselves and see what has changed.’
I nodded, smiling happily at him. He was looking at my feet which were protruding from under my skirt. I drew them in, ashamed of the grime.
‘I notice that you don’t wear your boots anymore, my dear, but you walk upright and with good muscle strength. Are you more comfortable now?’
‘My aunt took them from me on the night of the kidnap. I have learned to walk barefoot, and I think I am stronger for it, particularly as I still do the exercises you gave me.’
‘Stronger, indeed, but not so comfortable. We will address that problem when I return but, in the meantime, there is a shop nearby where you could fit yourself with some leather shoes made in the local style. They are perfectly serviceable, and the leather is good. You won’t want to return home unshod.’
He had indeed thought of everything and I was touched by his practical care. I took his letters and guineas and put them next to my bed as I prepared for sleep. Charlotte woke with an insistent cry, so I carried her to Mrs. Campbell to be fed, returning for her sometime later. Mrs. Campbell had dozed off with the baby tucked into the crook of her arm but she had clearly been fed, if not changed. As I lifted her, I noticed that the angry rash on her mother’s face was lessening.
‘You will be back with your mama tomorrow, sweeting,’ I whispered, ‘but for tonight we will enjoy each other’s company.’
I rose before sunrise the next morning and, as Charlotte needed her mama, I took her back and wakened Mrs. Campbell who grumbled that it was too early. Taking no notice, I left the cottage intending to wave Dr. Grieve off. As I walked, I thought again how wonderful it was to be able to move freely with no guards, no fear or restrictions on what to do or who to speak to. I resolved never to take these everyday pleasures for granted again.
The doctor was already on board his ship when I arrived and standing at the rail; he was surprised to see me at such an early hour. I waved joyfully and was reassured to see him watching me for as long as I stood there. I wished heartily for his safe passage before wandering back to an early breakfast of coffee and warm bread with some sliced cheese. The young woman who was to cook for us spoke no English but we managed to converse by other means: lots of smiles and sign language, though she didn’t look quite so happy when summoned to Mrs. Campbell’s room.
Rather than be drawn into Mrs. Campbell’s domestic tyranny, I went out again. The sun was fully risen and a delicious warmth lightened my step as I explored the narrow streets and alleys that were nearest the garrison. I quickly found the cobbler that Dr. Grieve had suggested and approached an elderly man who was working on the repair of some workman’s boots. It was but a matter of moments to get myself seated on a box he had for the purpose and I was soon surrounded by dainty leather shoes. I eventually chose some that were rather more serviceable but very comfortable, with a lovely soft brown leather to encase my weathered and not very pretty feet. I paid the man and with many smiles of thanks from me and bowing on his part, I walked away but couldn’t resist hitching my dress up every now and again to admire my newly-shod feet. Unfortunately, my limpy leg meant that one shoe did not quite fit as well as I would have liked, but I looked forward to the time when Dr. Grieve would make me another insert to ease the pressure. Until then, I would stuff some material into the shoe to compensate. I also bought myself a light woollen shawl which was dyed a vibrant blue with embroidered flowers adorning it. The colours reflected the sky and flowers of this strange place and when I was back in England I would look at it and always feel the pleasure of the sun again, even if it was raining and cold. I have never been in the habit of spending money since I rarely had any to spare, so this frivolous use of someone else’s money was very enjoyable.
As I walked, I looked for the sign of an apothecary, thinking that there must be one in such a busy place, and it wasn’t long before I found what I was seeking. The half door looked in on a dusty counter where a woman was weighing up what looked like herbs, but none that I recognised. She looked up at my curious face and beckoned me in. I didn’t need inviting twice. I fingered the herb she was then handling and somehow managed to convey my interest but lack of knowledge of local plants. Between us we discovered a mutual understanding and she drew me into an inner room lined with shelves, many of which were loaded with baskets of dried material. On the opposite side of the room were jars full of liquids in all colours of the rainbow. Some seemed to contain pickled fruit but maybe not of the eating variety. Every basket and jar bore a label of yellowing parchment, in writing that might have been Latin. I spent some time with the woman, touching and smelling the various grasses and herbs. I fervently wished that I was more educated and wondered if it might be possible to learn Latin at this late stage in my life. I felt so confident of this young woman’s knowledge that I purchased some of the dried herbs to add to my own when I got home. She wrote a direction on each packet for me to know how to use them. I felt sure that Dr. Grieve would be able to understand them.
When I returned to our cottage, I prepared for more arguments with Mrs. Campbell, sure that she was still refusing to see me as an independent person, but I was happily mistaken.
‘Esther, when we get back to London,’ she began as soon as I entered, ‘I would be grateful if you would stay with me and Charlotte until we find a place to rent. I know you have reason to want to return to Lewes as soon as possible so I wondered if it would be better if we all travelled there together. I have no reason to stay in London. In fact, it is better for Charlotte and me if we go where we know at least one person and you have convinced me that the little town you have talked of is as good a place as any. Would you allow us to accompany you?’
I was quite dumbstruck at this suggestion and moreover the humility with which it was said.
‘I would be glad to have you accompany me,’ I replied readily, ‘and of course I will help you find somewhere to live. Lewes is a very genteel town, if you have money. I am sure Captain Campbell would be happy to know that his wife and child were part of a good community.’
We had a light supper, prepared by Johanna, of different pressed meats. I recognised tongue but some of them were very heavily spiced and I selected cautiously, as I found them to be piquant and peppery, but very nice indeed once you adjusted to the spices. We were given a custard-type of pudding encased in a batter which was also quite unknown to me and I enjoyed it immensely. I reminded Mrs. Campbell to drink as much as she was able in order to keep her milk flowing, and our young friend prepared her a drink that the local women recommended for that very reason.
‘Life is not very different for women, wherever you are, is it?’ I mu
sed.
A soldier called on us the very next day to say that a ship was expected in port which might be suitable for three passengers and a baby. We were to be prepared to leave at short notice. Later I hurried down to the port and watched a much smaller ship than the Lady Charlotte come in. She was rather trim-looking and did not carry as much rigging. I hoped we would be able to travel on her as she looked to be a faster vessel. She was certainly a lot newer and less weathered.
I visited Prickship again to see if he was comfortable. He seemed quite cheerful despite the dreadful situation he was now in, and I questioned him about what he was expecting to do once we got back to Britain. I had no idea if he had a family. I knew he was not married but he might have brothers and sisters or even parents still living. I wondered if they would welcome him into their homes for the weeks it would take for him to heal sufficiently to return to able work. He was quite reluctant to engage in the conversation, so I didn’t press him on his plans. We sat together for upwards of an hour and every time I mentioned the future, he changed the subject to something more light-hearted. I wondered if his home life was not to his liking. I think a lot of sailors escape to the sea rather than live an uneventful or miserable life on shore.
Jones, whom I miss dreadfully, had had a lot to say on why men endure such a harsh lifestyle: for the general crew, it is often an escape route from trouble or crimes; while others are press-ganged onto fighting ships but transfer later to merchant ships, having got used to the seafaring way of life. His opinion of the officer class was never complimentary but he did concede, when I pressed him, that not all officers were bad, and that a good officer was vital in keeping the ship on course and safe. Men who became officers were often more educated and seen from the outset as leaders rather than followers. Others worked their way up into the officer class despite their lowly status and it was these men that Jones respected. I don’t believe that Prickship fell into that group.
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