by Jason Zandri
“That’s awesome,” Marie said and gave an excited skip, and then whipped around to face her friend. “Things with the parents or family are a big deal. It makes the relationship all the more serious.”
“I know.” She reached for the passenger door.
“Then why the hell are you so withdrawn about it?” Marie asked while she unlocked her door and then got in. She reached across to unlock the passenger door.
“It’s their big tradition; it’s their Christmas,” she said while climbing into the car. “Matthew told me once that because of the way things were at first when his mother was around, and then once they left, that they never really did Christmas. Mark did things alone with Matthew on Christmas Eve. When they moved to Wallingford, they carried that tradition. I guess they eat dinner and then do everything most families do on Christmas morning that night.”
Marie turned the car over and adjusted the heater and defogger. “Okay, I’m still not seeing what you’re so tense about.”
Donna looked over, and tears filled her eyes. “They’re all going to be there. Diane, Melissa’s older sister, is engaged to Mark now. The three of them have been going to Mark’s since that first year; you know, after their Mom separated. I feel like it’s going to be a competition with Melissa, or they’ll scrutinize me or something. I’m such a wreck.”
Marie turned in the seat and took Donna’s hand. “Look at me,” she said softly.
Donna looked at her feet and sniffed.
“We’re going to sit here like gay lovers holding hands in the car until you look at me,” Marie said, laughing.
Donna laughed at the comment and exhaled loudly. She turned to look at Marie.
“Listen, Matthew is with you. Not Melissa.” Marie let Donna’s hand go and pulled her seatbelt around. “Melissa is there every year, as his friend and with her family. She’s invited by proxy or because Mark asks for the families to come together. Matthew asked you to be there with him. That’s all that
matters. He won’t let you be made to feel like an outsider or make you feel like you need to compete. If he did, he’d be wrong, and you and I both know he wouldn’t do that. Even if it was a competition of sorts, you’ve already won. Matthew is with you.”
“Thank you.” Donna sniffed then smiled. “I’ve been telling myself that, but I guess I needed to hear it from someone else.”
Donna put her seatbelt on, and then noticed Liz walking through the lot.
“That’s odd. She’s walking out this way and toward Tremper Drive.” She tapped Marie so she’d look up.
“Yeah,” Marie said, glancing over. “Her house is in the other direction, and she normally exits out the other set of doors.”
Marie left the car parked for a moment while they both watched the young woman walk away from the school alone.
“It’s been a bad year with her,” Donna said. “We’ve all been through a lot together over the years. In the spirit of the season, do you think we should try to bury the hatchet and see if she needs a ride?”
“Are you sure?” Marie asked. “That hatchet could very well end up in your back.”
“Well, it’s your car, and I can’t make you, but I think we should try to take the high road,” Donna said.
“Okay, but for the record, I hate the high road.” Marie put the car in gear.
“Why would you hate the high road?” Donna asked.
“It’s dark and desolate because almost no one uses it.” Marie pulled out of the parking spot.
Once they’d pulled alongside the path, Donna rolled down her window.
“Liz,” she called out.
Liz stopped walking but, for a second, didn’t turn. When she glanced up, the snow drifted onto her face, and then she stepped toward the car. “Hi,” she said.
Marie looked across the passenger seat and out of the window while Donna leaned out. “Are you heading somewhere? We could give you a lift.”
“Thanks, I’m all set,” she said. “I’m just off for a short walk, and then I’m heading home.”
“In the snow?” Marie asked.
Liz leaned down to look over to Marie. “The snow isn’t too heavy.” She shrugged. “It’s calming and peaceful.”
The three girls fell silent for a moment, and then Donna broke the silence,
“Okay, as long as you’re sure you’re all set.”
“I am. Enjoy the holiday break,” Liz said, and then straightened up to walk away.
“You too,” Donna said, watching her step away.
Marie waved, put the car in gear, and pulled away. She waited until Donna had rolled the window all the way up. “Who the hell was that, and what did they do with Liz?”
Donna nodded. “Come to think of it,” she said, looking back. “She’s been way under the radar since the week after homecoming. She was her normal bitch on wheels at first, but December first or so came around, and then incognito big time.”
“Well.” Marie pulled the car out to the street. “We tried to do the right thing, and we wished her a good break.”
“Yeah,” Donna said, unconvinced.
***
Melissa walked out of Mark’s kitchen, down the hallway, and into the front living room.
“How many times do you suppose she’s going to do that?” Mark asked in a low tone.
Karen looked down the hallway, and then followed her youngest daughter.
“She’s anxious,” Diane said. “We’ve shared this holiday for six years, this one is the seventh, and no one has ever brought a date here.”
“But they know each other,” Mark said and frowned in consternation.
“They spent the whole summer together at the beach.”
“They were all just friends then. Matthew wasn’t dating Donna at the time.”
“I have to tell you,” Mark said. “Not that I’m taking sides or anything, but Melissa, when she’s dating, is a lot more brazen about it than Matthew. True, there’s that tension and rivalry at their age, I suppose, but Matthew isn’t doing this in an ‘in your face manner.’ I have seen Melissa parade a boy or two around the store ‘to introduce him to you.’” Mark said throwing finger quotes in the air.
Diane nodded. “You’re not wrong; she does that. Now Karma is giving her a return shot, and it’s like you said, Matthew isn’t even doing it intentionally. He’s just bringing her here to share his holiday with her.”
“Matthew told me,” Mark said, easing his tone. “The Epps family was
happy that we did Christmas Eve; I guess they do their thing Christmas morning, with lunch at one in the afternoon, and they felt concerned that Donna would want to be here with Matthew and not there with them. That would break their tradition.”
“It often happens when families grow and people move on with their lives.” Diane stepped over. “We didn’t have much, mainly due to money issues, especially years ago. Eating as a family and being together, those were our gifts to one another for the longest time.”
Melissa came back down the hallway with her mother right behind.
“She wants to go home,” Karen said.
“Missy,” Diane said. “Please, don’t break the tradition this year. It’s not necessary.”
“Not necessary?” Melissa’s voice broke. “I can’t.”
Uncomfortable, Mark edged out of the room.
Diane stepped over and hugged Melissa. “Look, I know this is difficult.”
“Do you? How can you? You never had a situation where a boy you liked paraded in another girl in front of you.”
“Melissa,” Karen said in a firm tone. “You’re being selfish. The Sanford home has been our place for Christmases since they arrived here in town. We are fortunate to have them, and not just at the holiday time.” Karen took a shaky breath. “Mark’s kindness and willingness to step forward for our family gave me the courage to do the same. If a relative stranger, with nothing invested in the three of us, was willing to stand up for us, defend us, that gave me the resolve to do t
he same. For myself and the two of you.”
“But, Mom.”
“You listen here,” Karen said, reaching over and stroking her hair. “I know you’ve developed feelings for Matthew. To be honest, I presumed you might much sooner than you did. The timing has always been off for the two of you. The feelings are there; that’s all that’s important. He’s a sensitive boy
… a sensitive man.” She turned to look at Diane. “Like his father.”
Tears streamed down Melissa’s face. “It hurts …”
“That’s how you know it’s real,” Karen said.
Mark walked back down the hallway and into the kitchen. He flipped the light switch in the adjacent dining room. “Matthew just pulled in with his van.”
Melissa moved into the main bathroom in the hallway and closed the door.
“He’s gotten more comfortable going over there to pick up Donna in his own vehicle,” Diane said.
“I think he and Mr. Epps have come to an understanding,” Mark said with a smile.
“Such as?” Karen asked while moving back into the kitchen to tend to some of the food on the stovetop.
“Well,” Mark said and reached into the refrigerator and took out a beer. “I think Matthew made it clear to him, indirectly, that he was willing to work to gain his trust in small ways, such as going there for dates with my car. In doing things like that, and other small things, I guess he felt he’d built up enough trust and just went over with the van. Either that or he got tired of asking me for the car,” Mark said, grinning. “I like to think it was ‘doing the right thing’ over lazy, but …”
Diane smiled at him, and then Matthew came in through the back door with Donna.
***
Matthew looked over at the time on the microwave. “We didn’t hold you up, right? You said seven.”
“You’re perfect,” Diane said. “We’ll eat in just a bit.”
Matthew turned to take Donna’s coat from her and looked over at the message board on the wall near the phone. He pulled the pushpin from one of the messages and took it down.
“Liz called? The house line?” Matthew asked.
Mark looked at Diane, and the two of them turned to look at Donna.
“Um, yes,” Mark said and stepped over. “She called the store, too, before I left.”
Matthew turned, looked at Donna, and smiled. “I’m sure she wanted to wish me a Merry Christmas,” he said in a reassuring tone. “We call each other every year.”
Donna eased a little and nodded. “Is Melissa here?” she asked.
“I’m right here,” Melissa said, stepping in from the hallway. “I was just washing my hands.”
“Look,” Diane said in a humorous tone. “There are six of us all cramped in this small kitchen, and fourteen hundred square feet of house, so unless you’re cooking or washing, out.”
Mark smiled, then escorted everyone into the dining room.
Donna followed Matthew to the stairs to his room. “I’m going to put your
jacket upstairs.”
“Sure,” she said softly with a short nod.
Matthew hit the first stair, and his phone extension rang. “It’s probably Liz. I can ignore it and have her leave a message on the machine.”
Donna took a breath in. “Marie and I saw her a little while ago. She seemed off and not in the best of spirits. Maybe you should take it. Perhaps it’ll help her.”
Matthew leaned in and kissed her. “You’re the best.”
Melissa stepped up behind Donna while Matthew bounded up the stairs to catch the phone before it went to the answering machine.
Donna turned, and Melissa’s proximity startled her. “Hi,” she said.
“Hi.” Melissa nodded.
“Look.” Donna stepped away from the stairs and into the living room, away from the adults in the kitchen and dining room. “We’ve been casual friends for a while. I don’t want my relationship with Matthew to be a wedge in your friendship with him, and I want to be comfortable around you. I always feel like I’m walking on eggshells; to be honest, it makes me anxious.”
“I’m sorry.” Melissa looked her over. “I didn’t mean for you to be uncomfortable.”
“We’ve spent a lot of time together, this past summer for sure; I can’t say I know you as well as Carrie and Alecia, but I’ve come to know you a bit.”
Donna backed up to lean against the blue sectional couch. “I do know you’re special; you’re important to Matthew. I respect and appreciate that, and I’d be an idiot to try to get in the middle of that.” Donna took a deep breath and continued, “I trust him. I want to trust you.”
Melissa held up her hands. “We’re friends; that’s it. There’s nothing more, if there were, it would have developed long before.”
“Can we be totally honest with each other?” Donna asked in an earnest tone.
“Yes; I think it’s foolish for either of us not to be,” Melissa said with a little more conviction in her voice.
“I know you love him,” Donna said. “I love him, and when you’re around or your name is mentioned, I watch the effect on him. I used to think the pull from Liz was difficult, but that’s just infatuation. What you have over him is stronger.”
Melissa said nothing at first. She looked at Donna, and then down. After a
moment of collecting her thoughts, she looked up again. “He’s everything to me,” she said quietly. “I’m not even sure when it happened, so to speak. I think it just sort of built up over time.”
“When did you realize it?” Donna asked.
“It was almost subconscious,” she said in a lighter tone. “It was when I listened to him talk about his time at the Lyman Hall Homecoming dance, and then I was reflecting on mine at Sheehan. It was like a light going on …”
“He never told me what went on at yours, other than to say things didn’t go well and that you weren’t with Paul anymore,” Donna said. She stepped away from the couch and looked up the stairs to Matthew’s room. She saw the light on through the crack of the door and could hear him still on the phone. “At the same time, that was common knowledge, after the fact.”
“Yeah, Matthew’s like that—fiercely loyal. You tell him to keep something in confidence, and it’ll never slip.” Melissa looked up the stairs as well.
“Like a boy scout.” Donna giggled.
Melissa turned and smiled. “I remember the first movie I ever went to with him,” she said. “Well, Matthew and the gang. Anyway, we ended up cleaning the theater before the movie started.”
“At the Meriden Twin? Why?” Donna asked.
“The old Center Cinema. I don’t recall why … I think the manager was short on help or something like that,” Melissa said, walking away from the stairs and lowering her voice in case it carried.
“I remember going for a walk with him at the beach, the second or third time we all went to Misquamicut,” Donna said, smiling a little wider. “We were walking to the Snack Shack to get chips or something. The whole way there, he picked up every loose piece of garbage, wrapper, can, and cigarette butt. I think, at one point, I had to hold a couple things until we got to the pail because his hands were full.”
The two smiled at one another.
“He’s awesome like that,” Melissa said.
Donna nodded.
“Can we pick on him later? At dinner? Some annoying things … like how he always slurps the last of his soda out of the cup?” Melissa asked.
“Ooooh,” Donna said with a giggle. “How about ice in his sodas?”
“He hates it,” Melissa said. “He’ll complain about it until the soda’s empty.”
“His car keys!” Donna said.
“Yes,” Melissa said, and glee lit her features. “When he has jeans on, he wears them on his belt like a janitor.” She laughed.
The girls heard the door close at the top of the stairs and scampered out of the living room to the hallway and toward the kitchen.
***
Dinn
er and dessert finished, everyone went downstairs to enjoy the Christmas music on the rec room stereo.
Donna looked over at the television, which ran video of a yule log burning in a fireplace. “You know,” she said. “In all the years of Christmas, I’ve known that Channel 11 has always shown this, but I don’t think we’ve ever tuned it in at home.”
“We always have it on.” Matthew smiled and moved closer to her. The three of them sat on the rug near the television while the adults sat at the bar.
Matthew looked over at Melissa, who watched the screen. “One year, Missy and I just stared at the screen. They show this for four hours or something; the log never diminishes, and there’s no commercial interruption. We tried to see the exact point where the video loops.”
“We never saw it,” Melissa said without looking away from the screen.
Donna looked at Matthew. He shook his head. “Nope. It’s there; it has to be, but we missed it, whenever it was.”
Donna leaned backward into Matthew’s lap and stared into the Christmas tree and the twinkling lights.
Melissa turned and watched her move and settle. Matthew looked up into her eyes. Donna closed her eyes and let go one long exhale.
“Merry Christmas,” Melissa mouthed silently to Matthew. He nodded and drew his arms around Donna a little more.
Melissa smiled, stood, and walked over and sat with Diane.
***
Everyone wished each other their goodbyes. Donna headed out with Matthew for him to take her home, and Karen and Melissa left to go home as well.
Diane closed the door behind them and locked it.
Mark peeked out the window and watched until the cars departed down the street.
“Another Christmas Eve has officially ended,” Diane said and pointed to the time on the wall clock. “Past midnight and Christmas has officially
arrived.”
Mark smiled, took her by the hand, and led her over to the sectional couch. Diane sat, and Mark pulled the blanket over to cover the two of them.
“Seven years of doing this,” Diane said softly, leaning her head on Mark’s shoulder and getting comfortable. “It never gets old.”
“That’s because it’s never the same,” Mark said. “Each year, we’re at a different point in our lives. That first year we started the routine, it was a little awkward with everything that had gone on with your mother and Joe. Then the following year it was their divorce. There’s always been change.”
