by Jason Zandri
“Thanks,” Liz said quietly.
“She turned out to be a bigger bitch than you; she had it coming,”
Carrie said, moving alongside. “Jury is still out on whether or not you’re coming over for any pajama parties. I only cut you courtesy slack because I’ve known you since Pond Hill.”
“Fair enough,” Liz said.
The three girls stopped near the main field. Liz turned and watched everyone disperse. She then looked in the direction of the sun in the afternoon sky. “Spring is here; the days are getting longer …”
“… It’s time for new beginnings,” Melissa said. “Matthew says that every year.”
“It’s funny; I thought Michael was the one that started that because I hear him say it all the time.” Liz scraped her feet on the ground. Carrie turned so that the sunlight could hit her face. Liz said, “I’ve come to learn that it was Matthew who got him hooked on saying that.”
Melissa watched Carrie for a moment, and then turned to Liz.
“I have some concerns that things will unravel,” Liz said, turning to Melissa and then stepping back a little so that Carrie could see her. “I don’t
care for myself; but I needed to tell some other people so that if it’s something I needed to set the record straight on, you know, with parents and all, that I have some backup. Neither of you owes me anything, and not for nothing with the way I’ve been overall, and specifically this year, I wouldn’t blame you if you decided not to help if I needed it. What I hope for, at the minimum, is that you will because it would make it so we have Matthew’s back together. Selfishly, I hope that somehow you’ll give me that same ‘new beginnings’ opportunity.”
“It’s Matthew,” Carrie said. “We’ll help.”
“What is it?” Melissa asked.
“The short, short version: I got pregnant. It wasn’t Matthew’s. In the end, I didn’t want to end up in a situation like my sister. In the near term, I was with two boys in a short period of time, and both denied it was theirs. In most cases, I couldn’t have ownership on either of them until I had it, or at least until further along, if I planned to have it and if I had the money to spend on the procedure. Neither one of them would help me with anything, and at first, all I wanted was to talk to them, lean on them.”
Carrie looked over at Melissa. Melissa lowered her head, and then closed her eyes and turned her face into the sun while Liz continued to speak.
“So I called Matthew; I needed a friend, and he was the only one I could count on. At one point, I thought I was going to miscarry; I bled heavily. I’d never felt so happy to have my period with such a heavy flow.
Matthew told me to keep a level head and that it could be anything. I’d already talked to him about going to the clinic, and with that I was so excited that maybe my body was going to let the pregnancy terminate. It didn’t; the bleeding stopped, and then I missed another cycle.”
Liz paused for a moment to collect her thoughts. Carrie reached over and touched her shoulder. Liz raised a hand to hers. Melissa opened her eyes and turned around to let the weak spring sun beat on her back.
“I made an appointment to go the clinic and asked Matthew to go with me. He did; no questions asked, no judgement, nothing but honor and duty.
He drove, and helped me with the forms when I was crying too hard to read them.” Liz paused as tears streamed down her face. “He sat there all day,
listened to what advice I needed to follow for the next visit, took me out of there, got me lunch, brought me home, and told me everything would work out. ‘It’s going to be hard,’ he said. ‘What you’ve decided to do will weigh on you the rest of your life; I have your back.’”
Liz breathed in deeply and sighed. Carrie let her hand drop, and Melissa moved closer.
“He called me every night to make sure I was okay and asked me if I needed anything. I told him I felt so guilty for so many reasons. The two dirt bags, one of which was my co-conspirator with the damn pregnancy, wouldn’t even take my calls. I wanted to tell them what I’d decided to do; despite their indifference, I thought they should know, as one of them was the father. So there was that guilt.
“Then, of course, the thought of the baby I wouldn’t have, couldn’t have, shouldn’t have … then I go home and see my niece, and I just go to pieces. I call Matthew, I cry on the phone to him, he listens for an hour and then says he’s going to hang up and come over. He sits with me until I calm down, and then stays until I am. So I feel guilty about that.”
“Guilty about going to the clinic?” Carrie asked.
“That, and then Matthew,” Liz said quietly.
“Matthew?” Melissa asked. “I don’t understand.”
“With the way I’ve been, even to him, I never deserved him to respond to all of this in the way he did. Then I come to find out he completely honored my ask of not telling a soul, to the point where it affected his relationship with Donna. She ended it with him because he refused to divulge anything, even to her. He put my needs above Donna’s, even when I didn’t deserve it.”
“Matthew felt you did,” Melissa said and stepped closer. “That’s good enough for me.”
“Why did you decide to come to us with this?” Carrie asked.
“Matthew covered it up well; no one knows, but you’ve indicated talk might be starting.”
“My parents know something’s up. They’ve seen bills from the clinic.
They know I’ve been upset and not myself. Despite my not being with Matthew, he’s been the one that’s been around. My mother made a comment to my sister along the lines of, ‘at least Matthew is around for your sister, unlike your deadbeat …’ so I think she’s trying to put two and two together. I did want to keep this quiet; I’m not proud that I got myself into this trouble, and I’m not excited over the solution I chose either, but I’ll be damned if Matthew is going to take heat on this. If it has to come out because of that, then it’ll come out.”
The girls stood quietly for a moment. A few clouds moved across the path of the sunlight, robbing the spring air of its warmth.
“So now we know,” Melissa said finally. “We have the details, and if we need to, we’ll get ahead of any impact to Matthew.”
“If my mother doesn’t say anything to my aunt, then it’ll likely stay under, but I can’t count on that.”
“How are you feeling?” Carrie asked.
Liz broke down crying. Melissa walked over, grabbed her, and hugged her tightly.
“New beginning?” Melissa asked Carrie.
“New beginning,” Carrie said.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Matthew turned the lights off inside the store and stepped behind the counter to grab the phone. He called his father’s number and waited for an answer.
“Hello,” Diane said.
“Hi, Diane, it’s Matthew.”
“Hi, Matthew; how was everything at the store for the remainder of the day?” she asked.
“It was busy; steady flow of people. Tim and Mr. Cafferty left about half an hour ago,” he said, looking out of the window as a car pulled into the station and over to a parking spot.
“Are you going to come to the house for something to eat, or are you just going out and be here later?” Diane asked.
“Melissa said she wanted me to stop by to talk about something; she was chasing me all over school today, but I never had the chance to catch up with her.” Matthew looked over at the car and noticed it was Donna’s. “I’ll be later than normal, but it’s a school night, so I’ll be there; can you leave something on the side for me?”
“Sure, we’ll see you when you get in then.”
Matthew said, “Thanks,” and then hung up the phone. He stepped away from the counter with the keys and turned to the deadbolt to let Donna in once she stepped up to the door.
“Hi,” he said, letting her in and locking back up. He stepped over to close the outside lights and killed the power to the fuel pumps.
“Hi, Matthew,” she said quietly. �
�I wanted to know if you had time to talk?”
“I do, but just a few minutes,” he said while closing off more internal lights. “Let’s head to the office.” He turned to walk down the hallway.
The pair stepped into the office, and Matthew closed the door behind her. He motioned for her to have a seat on the couch. Once she did, he moved over to the desk and sat behind it.
“Could you come over here and sit next to me?” she asked.
Matthew sighed, got up, and moved to the couch, keeping a small distance between them.
Donna turned more toward him and moved a little closer. “Look,” she said with an intent gaze. “I’ve spent a lot of time over the past few weeks thinking everything through. I’ve gotten past needing to know why you spent time with Liz. I would like to work on fixing things and getting back to where we were.” Donna reached over and touched his leg.
A charge ran right through Matthew. He breathed in quickly, took her hand, and set it on the couch. “I would like that. I would like the chance to try to restart this. And that’s what it would be; not picking up where we left off, but more like starting anew.”
“Okay.” She leaned in. “From which point?”
Matthew stood and turned away. He ran his hand over his forehead, and then turned back to Donna, who stood too. “Well, the beginning, basically; I think a fresh start makes sense.”
Donna smiled and stepped forward. “You mean all the way back to,
‘Hi, my name is Matthew?’ Can we move it along the way some more?” She moved in quickly, reached up, and kissed him.
Caught off guard, Matthew kissed her back. Donna pressed her body forward against his, and Matthew responded, doing the same while running his hands along her back and pulling her in tightly. After a moment, some clarity hit him, and he broke off the kiss. “We’re not going to start that far into this either, as much as I like it.”
“And as much as it turned you on.” Donna took a step back and looked down along his body.
“My excitement level notwithstanding,” he said. “I have a busy two weeks coming up, what with the wedding this upcoming weekend and dealing with the store over April vacation.”
“I understand,” Donna said and backed up. “Is there anything I can help you with?”
“Well …” Matthew stepped around her to head back to the desk to lock the draw. “Let me think about it. There are so many moving parts right now, and they are just having a small thing, my Dad and Diane, a Justice of the Peace ceremony, and close friends over the house for something to eat.
Melissa and I are helping them; Karen, Melissa, and Diane’s Mom, too.”
“Are you going with someone? To the wedding? Are you bringing a
‘plus one?’” Donna asked.
“Honestly, since things ended with us, there’s been no one to take.
With being my father’s best man, and Melissa being the maid of honor, I didn’t even consider taking anyone else.” Matthew looked over at Donna and watched a slight frown take over her face. “Look, if we are going to give this a chance, to start over, that’s what we need to do. Not rush back into where we were over a wedding weekend. Besides, you’re gone all April vacation anyway, aren’t you?”
“Yes,” she said softly. “I’m going to Myrtle Beach with the family.”
“Okay, I thought I remembered you telling me. So going to the wedding wouldn’t have been practical for you anyhow; aren’t you leaving late Saturday?”
“Yes,” she said, resigned.
“We can talk more when you get back; there are still things to address.” Matthew stepped around and headed to the door.
“Oh?” Donna asked while Matthew opened the door and the two of them headed back out into the front counter area.
“Well, yeah,” Matthew said, grabbing his windbreaker. “If we’re going to try to restart this, then we need to be honest with each other and have the same expectations. Total honesty; even if it’s a brutal truth. No more secrets. I don’t want a repeat of this situation. We have some friends in common, and I know you’re on the outs with Liz, but you’re going to have to accept that I’m still friends with her. It was wrong of me not to tell you I was going over to help her out with some things, but I honestly felt like you wouldn’t have accepted the reasons why. No more; I will always be honest with you going forward, and I expect that you’ll accept my explanations of what I’m doing, why, and to simply trust me.”
Donna looked over at him while he took out his keys and undid the deadbolt. “It’s like you said.” She stepped out of the store. “We can talk more about this when I get back.”
Matthew closed the door behind her and locked the deadbolt. He paused for a moment to take stock of her comment, and then smiled briefly.
“Do you have any time to see me before the weekend?” Donna asked, stepping toward her car.
“Not really; there’s so much to do right now, and not much time left to do it,” he said while he came around to get her door. “If I get ahead on anything, I’ll give you a call; does that sound fair?”
“I suppose.” She pouted in a playful manner. “Are you busy now?”
“Actually, I’m hungry and need to head home to eat. That, and I have homework.” Matthew held the driver’s door open for her.
“Not even fifteen minutes to, oh I don’t know, sit in the car and make out?” She stepped into his personal space and touched him along his belt with her fingertips.
“I have to stop by the apartment on the way home,” he said with a shallow breath.
“Maybe I could stop by with you …”
Matthew backed up quickly. “Donna, I said we need to start over.”
“I heard what your mouth said.” She smiled. “I can see what your body is saying. How it’s responding.”
“Yes, I’m excited. You excite me, and I won’t deny it, but what’s with you and the Wellsworth School of Seduction tactics you’re employing suddenly?”
“Sorry,” she said, and the color drained from her face. “You always responded to Liz when she did this to you; I thought it was what you wanted and expected from me.”
“I expect you to be you, the girl I fell—” Matthew stopped short.
“Look, let me run to the apartment to get what I need, talk to Melissa, and—”
“Talk to her? About what?” Donna asked.
“I don’t know,” he said. “She’s been pestering me all day, but I’ve been unable to get caught up with her to find out what she wanted. I told her I’d swing by on the way home.”
“Okay,” she said, and then stepped in and reached up. Matthew hesitated, and Donna pecked him on the lips. “Call me if you get everything done at home you need to, and if it’s still early.” Donna slipped into the driver’s seat.
“I will,” Matthew said and closed the door then took a step back.
Donna started the car and rolled down the window. “I’m glad I came here tonight, and we had this talk. I think we deserve the second chance to make things work.”
Matthew nodded. “We can talk all about that when you get back. I look forward to working it all out and starting over.”
“We are started over, aren’t we?” Donna asked.
“We’ll, I guess. We still have some things to discuss. I suppose we are if you don’t get swept away by any beach bums while you’re away, and I can fight off all the single ladies at this huge festivity this weekend,” Matthew said with a grin.
“I want you to commit to me,” Donna said. “I know that if you give your word, you’ll do what you say.”
Matthew took a deep breath. “I want a couple of days to think about things, Donna. I spent a month trying to get over you, and to be honest, I still have those residual feelings to work through. It’ll take a little time for me to get all the way back where you want me to be. I can if I have the time. I’ve never openly expressed these things to anyone else.”
“You can’t get back there if you don’t allow us to start over,”
she said.
“I don’t disagree, but I won’t have the kind of free time I want and need to mull this over with everything going on. In a few days, you won’t be around for a week, and I’ll have down time at night to think about things. I
want to bounce some things off Tim and Mike—”
“And Melissa.” Heavy sarcasm laced her voice.
“Yes, Melissa too. She’s my best friend. And she’s a girl, so who better to ask? Takes a girl to know a girl.” Matthew stepped closer to the car and bent down to meet her at eye level. “I want the time to get back to the right place; to give what we had an honest shot of being back to what it was.”
Matthew changed his voice to a comical tone, “I thought you, as a soft and
‘warm and fuzzy’ female, would appreciate the fact that the big burly man wanted to get in touch with his feelings.”
“I do,” she said in a serious voice. “I just wanted to get back to us before I went away.”
“I did what you wanted,” Matthew said in his normal voice. “I stayed away. I gave you your space and let you come around on your own. I deserve the same.”
Donna nodded. “Okay, call me when you can.”
“I will,” Matthew said, and then stepped away from the car.
***
In front of his apartment, Matthew pulled his car over, put it into park, and killed the engine. He looked over to Melissa’s apartment. The curtains moved. Matthew climbed out of the van while Melissa came outside.
“Hi,” she said, exiting the front door.
“Hey,” Matthew said and pointed over to his apartment. “I wanted to run inside, drop my stuff, and change my pants; can I swing over in a minute?”
Melissa stepped over toward his front door. “I thought we might chat inside.” She and motioned over. “My mother’s home,” she said in a loud whisper.
Matthew nodded and opened up his apartment. “I’ll be quick,” he said, bolting toward his bedroom.
“Are you hungry? If you have anything in here, I could make you a
sandwich or something,” Melissa called out.
“Nah,” Matthew shouted from his bedroom while he changed. “I don’t have anything in the fridge, and just breakfast cereal in the cabinets. It’s okay; Diane said she’d leave me something aside from dinner.”
