by Ruby Dixon
Maybe the last humans.
I swallow the knot of grief in my throat and get dressed quietly. T'chai does the same, and I lace his boots up for him, trying to show him in silence how to do a double knot. He fumbles it, then shakes his hand, and I realize it's the one with the bad tendons. I know it bothers him, but in my head, it's such a small thing. I watched him hold his guts in his hand and thought he was going to die right in front of me. I don't care if his hand doesn't work perfect. So I playfully flick his hand aside and tease him, instead. "Don't take my wifely duties away. That's my job."
His eyes flare with heat, and I think about his lotion-slicked glove, and a hot tingle of warmth rushes through me. We finish dressing, and we help put on each other's gloves, and he has to pull out new ones. I can tell we're both thinking about that night, and I'm blushing as he finishes tying my glove on my hand.
"Do you have another pair packed?" I ask. "Just in case?"
"In case?"
"In case the healing doesn't work. I still want…us."
There's such warmth and affection in his gaze that I want to revel in it. "I want us, too." And he puts another pair in the leather pack that's already brimming with our stuff.
I think about “us” and what it means as we leave the hut behind, and a still-sleeping Daisy. We stop by the huts of the other Tall Horn clans members, and I explain to Callie and Penny about Daisy and how she's going to need people helping her. Penny's eager to volunteer, but Callie—my fiery, takes-no-shit friend—only gives me a skeptical look.
"You sure about this, amiga?"
I nod quickly. "If there's a chance to fix this, I want to try."
She purses her lips and pulls me away from the others. "I just…I don't want you making yourself even more unhappy. Ves burro y se te antoja viaje."
It's a saying that fills me with a pang of grief, because it's something my parents said all the time. You see a donkey and want to go traveling. She's saying I'm upset with what I have just because I'm comparing myself to others. Maybe she's right. Even so…I want to try. "Easy for you to say," I tell her in Spanish. "You're not the one with the bad cootie."
"Is yours bad?" She taps my chest, right over my heart. "Because you're alive. So maybe it's not all that bad, hm? I'm just saying, don't sell yourself so short. It's not perfect, but what is?" She puts her hands on my shoulders and shakes her head. "I'm not lecturing you, chica. I just want you to be happy, okay? Just don't set yourself up for disappointment. You love him and he loves you. Everything else will figure itself out."
I nod, but she doesn't understand. She doesn't know what it feels like. "Just look out for Daisy for me, will you?"
She agrees, and then I pull T'chai away before I can change my mind about this trip. It's just a visit to the healer. That's all it is. We're just seeing if we can be fixed. That's all. Nothing more.
Tia sobs openly as Ashtar's saddle is fitted and bags packed onto the dragon's back. "I don't want to go," she cries, clearly upset. "I want to stay."
Liz and Raahosh are here to see us off, along with R'jaal and Sessah. The men strap packs onto Ashtar and pile blankets into the “sidecar” baskets on the dragon's side for the passengers to sit in. I'm not entirely sure I'm thrilled about riding in one of those baskets all day, but it's too late to change my mind. I'm not going to let an uncomfortable ride keep me from what needs to happen. T'chai is at my side, tightening my furs and fussing over my layers, as the wind is crisp and biting today.
"Please don't make me go," Tia whines to Liz. The mated woman looks visibly upset at Tia's distress, but she shakes her head. "Everyone's going to forget me!" Tia weeps, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I'm going to come back and there will be no one left to mate to!"
"Is that all you're worried about?" Liz asks, exasperated. "Seriously?"
Sessah glances backward at Tia, and if anything, he looks more upset that she's leaving than Tia does.
"Everyone's been resonating," Tia continues. "If I'm not here and Daisy is, she's going to take my spot. It's not fair!"
"You're seventeen," Liz protests.
"I'm an adult!"
T'chai makes a noise in his throat that might be amusement…or scoffing. I pull him close and fix the laces on the cloak at his neck. "Be nice," I whisper. "She's upset."
He leans closer. "She sounds like Z'hren when his food is late."
When Tia lets out another wail, I stifle a giggle of my own. Okay, she IS being a little dramatic. Still, I'm trying to remember what it was like for me at seventeen. Plus, she's leaving everyone she knows behind. That has to suck.
"I don't want to be the one left alone," Tia sobs. "Someone's going to get left out in the cold and it's going to be me."
Liz puts her hands on Tia's shoulders and leans in until her face is inches away from Tia's. "Okay. If we take you back onto that beach so you can mate someone right now, Miss Adult, who's it going to be? You only get one guy and you tell the others you're sorry, and then you stick with this one guy until you both call it quits or resonance steps in. So, tell me who it's going to be."
I notice Sessah gets very still. He's not looking over at Tia, but I can tell he's listening to every single word.
Tia swallows hard and everyone turns to watch her, to see who she picks. I kind of wonder if she's going to say I'rec, who's brash and confident and older than her, or if she's going to realize Sessah has been in love with her like an overgrown puppy…or if she'll pick someone totally random. Maybe O'jek or U'dron? Not U'dron, I don't think. He was entranced by Tia's antics for a while, but he's smitten with Raven right now. And R'jaal only tolerates Tia's flirting until she moves on to the next target.
"I can't just pick someone," Tia says uncomfortably. "Why should I have to choose? I don't flirt with anyone mated. We're just having fun."
T'chai grunts softly. "She thinks in picking one, she loses them all."
Liz just gives Tia an exasperated look. "I knew you—" She stops, because Sessah throws down the straps he's working on and storms away. A mom look of sympathy crosses Liz's face, and Tia looks stricken as he leaves. "You see," Liz continues, her tone gentle. "You think it's fun. You just want to flirt and have a good time. But it's not just fun to them. They don't know how to handle it. They don't know how to be casual. They see a girl and think 'mate' and 'forever.' And you can't flirt with all of them because we can't have half the tribe at each other's throats."
"So I'm being punished because they don't know how to flirt?" Tia looks as if she's ready to start crying again. "How is that fair?"
Liz sighs and pulls Tia against her in a hug. "Look. You're not my daughter, but I still feel like your mom, and even mom has to make tough decisions. I'm sorry, Tia." Her eyes look suspiciously wet. "I know you think you're the only one being punished, but no one wants you to leave."
"Then let me stay!" Tia wails.
Liz glances over the weeping girl to her mate, who shakes his head. No matter how much Tia cries, this is needed. If she stays, the men will keep fighting. "Look," Liz says in a pleasant voice. "Croatoan has some of the best moms in the universe. I promise that you're not losing a tribe full of men, you're gaining a village full of women. You're going to get mom'ed so hard by everyone there, and you're going to love it."
"I just don't want to end up alone," Tia sobs.
Liz grimaces, rubbing Tia's back. "Look at it this way, okay? If they resonate while you're gone, you were never meant to be theirs anyhow."
"We're ready to go," Veronica says quietly, pulling on a fluffy fur hat and tying it under her chin. She pulls a thick scarf around her face and ties it, and then something that looks like a tilted sun-visor to shield her eyes from the worst of the cold wind. "Whenever you guys are."
"Are you warm enough?" T'chai asks me, patting the thick layers I'm wearing. "Do you need more?"
"I'm good." I glance over at Liz, where she's hugging Tia, and she looks so much like a mom sending her daughter away to camp for the summer that I know this can
't be easy for her, no matter how good it is for the tribe. Hopefully it won't be for long. I turn back to my mate. "You? Are you warm enough?" I touch his gloved hands and try not to blush. "All covered up?"
He nods and gestures at the enormous, gold dragon lying in the snow, Veronica stroking his muzzle with one gloved hand. "Let us go and see what the other village holds for us, yes?"
I hope it holds answers. If it doesn't, I hope I have the strength to be happy with what I have. Because being with T'chai is good. Better than good…but I still remember what it was like before. Is it wrong to want that back? Is it wrong to want everything?
21
MARI
I'm prepared for it to be a cold, miserable journey, but I think I underestimate just how cold and just how miserable. No amount of fur layers can keep out the bitterness of the chill and the way it cuts through down to the skin. I huddle against T'chai, shivering, and there's still not enough warmth. Any skin exposed to the air feels frozen instantly, and it's snowing so hard that it's like poor Ashtar is flying into a blizzard even as we glide over mountains and snowy valleys. The basket T'chai and I are curled up inside feels unstable and just a little terrifying. Whenever the wind buffets the dragon, I imagine us tipping out of the basket and falling to the ground far below.
We stop several times, because it's so cold that Veronica needs to take breaks to defrost her hands and face. Each time, we set up a small camp with Ashtar's large dragon body acting as a windbreak. He creates a fire for us with his breath and we huddle around it as the wind howls and dumps snow on us—even on the ground—and we drink tea to warm our insides.
Tia cries about how miserable it is. I want to cry, too, except I chose to come on this journey, knowing how bad the weather was. After all, the locals call it the “brutal season” and I know it's not because of heat. I'm just now realizing how harsh the weather can be away from our sheltered beach inlet, protected on the far side of the mountains. A small, wimpy part of me wants to call this off and go back, especially when T'chai's poor nose turns a deep blue from cold and he has to tuck his tail into his clothing so the tip won't freeze off.
But Veronica does not complain at all, and she's getting the worst of it. At least I've got T'chai to share body heat with—Veronica's seated atop Ashtar's back and exposed to the wind—so I say nothing at all. It won't last forever, and then we'll be in the warm village, drinking tea around a bigger fire and talking to the healer.
I need that so badly. I press my cheek against T'chai's chest as we fly and hate that my cootie sends a flare of distress through me. If it's changing its mind about him, it's taking its sweet time.
Eventually, Ashtar starts to circle lower, and Veronica shouts something over the winds. I peer over the edge of the basket despite the cold blast of air that hits my face and see it below—a long, wide, jagged rift in the ground. From the rift itself, I see the plumes of many campfires and know this must be the other village.
I'm suddenly nervous.
For better or for worse, we're getting answers tonight.
I cling tightly to T'chai's hand as the other tribe comes out to greet us. Some faces are familiar—Vektal and Rokan, Aehako and Hassen. But there are also other sa-khui with gray hair and lined faces, and there are children everywhere. More than that, there are humans with wide smiles and eager expressions, all ready to meet us and share gossip.
My heart sinks a little that we have to be the bearers of bad news.
Georgie rushes forward, her brown, curly hair in two tails on her shoulders as she holds a hand under her pregnant belly. "You guys are crazy flying in this weather! It's the brutal season! We're glad to see you again so soon, but my goodness." She laughs, reaching out to hug me.
I hug her back, feeling awkward. Exactly when does one drop the news that your planet has been destroyed? "Oh, we had a few things going on and it seemed worth the trip."
"Look at you!" An elderly woman clucks over Veronica's rounded belly. "Where did this come from?"
"From me," Ashtar says proudly, pulling on a pair of pants behind his mate. He's transformed back to his human form, and no one blinks an eye at the fact he can go from dragon to man in no time flat.
"But you were just here not long ago and her belly was flat!" Her gaze roams over our faces, learning us. "And now you bring us more friends. I am Sevvah. You must tell me how my Sessah is doing. Did he send you all here to visit?" Her face is slate blue and when she smiles, her eyes crinkle with laugh lines. Her hair is gray and done in looping braids, and she's far more rounded and matronly than Farli, the only other sa-khui female I've seen.
"We're here because I've been kicked out," Tia says bitterly. "I'm too much of a problem."
"You haven't been kicked out," Veronica states with a frown, losing her temper for the first time since Tia started complaining. "It's just complicated and this is easier. Everyone needs to take a break and chill. Jeez, why can't you get that through your head?"
Sevvah just clucks her tongue and puts a motherly arm around Tia's shoulders. "You need tea and hot food. Come sit by the fire with me and tell me your story. I would love to hear it." Tia folds against her like a lost child, and the older sa-khui woman casts a meaningful look over at Georgie and Vektal.
Man. Not five minutes in, and Tia's being mothered…and apparently likes it. Maybe Liz was right and this is exactly what she needed.
T'chai pulls an ice-crusted cloak off of my shoulders and rubs my arms. He gives me a protective look and I realize that I'm shivering despite the fact that we're out of the wind. Count on T'chai to pay more attention to me than I do. "My mate is cold," he says in a brusque voice. "Can we all move to the fire?"
"Of course," Georgie says, and gestures that we should join them. There are people everywhere lining the little street that cuts through the village of huts, all waiting to greet us with warm smiles and excited looks. "Dinner will be ready soon and you can tell us all about what's going on at the beach."
"Oh boy," Veronica says. "It is a LOT."
"I'll bet."
Dinner is both wonderful and exhausting. A nice woman named Stacy cooks us all kinds of treats that she's been trying out, and my favorite are sweet, root-based cakes that remind me a bit of tamales rosas, minus the raisins. There's tons of conversation and people to meet, and every child in the village seems to want to hug us. Tia's lap is constantly full with one child or another, and despite her constant streams of tears earlier today, she looks like she's having a wonderful time. Sevvah fusses over her all night and a few of the other women take that cue. I think Liz was right when she said Tia would be mothered by everyone here. Even now, a woman named Claire holds up pieces of a tunic to Tia's chest, fitting her while Tia bounces a toddler on her knees. It's not just that Tia's still young enough to need a mom. It's that she's human, and she's a new face. Her staying for a while will probably be the most exciting thing that's happened in this village in a while.
Veronica and Ashtar seem to be comfortable in their roles as news-bringers. They sit in the center of the group and eat and drink, sharing tales of who's resonated recently, Daisy's arrival, and the epic tale of Old Grandfather's defeat. To my surprise, Liz and Harlow have sent along a small care package that Veronica produces from her pack—inside are a few of the precious packages of sweets that Niri sent and one of the metal knives that are so prized. Everyone's in awe at the gift.
Everyone except my mate, of course. He just smiles wryly at me and leans over as I nibble on another one of Stacy's sweet root-cakes. "When I'rec finds out that one of the knives was sent here, he is going to explode like the top of the Great Smoking Mountain."
I have to giggle at that. "I hope we're there to see it."
"Me, too." He smiles at the little girl in his lap. She's a cute kid, with blue skin and tiny horns, and she's fascinated with touching the soft down of hair on T'chai's jaw. Claire's daughter, I think. I watch him with her and it makes my heart ache at how patient he is, because I know he'd be a good fath
er. I know he wants a family—I've never met a people more family-oriented than the sa-khui or their island counterparts, and it means all the more to T'chai because of the fact that he lost almost his entire clan to the Great Smoking Mountain ten years ago. It's important to all of them that Tall Horn not die out. I don't want to rob him of that.
"So what is this 'Day-zee' like?" a beautiful sa-khui female asks. She's got rich blue skin and the most gorgeous pair of horns. She holds a baby who's busy chewing on her own tiny fist, and this has to be Asha. Every time I see her around the fire, I'm a little stunned at how beautiful she is. I sit a little closer to T'chai, wondering if he's as dazzled at her loveliness as I am, and then I feel guilty because Asha's mated. T'chai's mated. To think I was rolling my eyes at the jealousy of the others when Daisy arrived, and here I am feeling stupid things at the sight of a pretty sa-khui female.
"Very friendly," Veronica says, dusting off her hands as she finishes eating. "Very eager to be here."
"Does she bring many stories with her?" Asha asks.
Veronica's reaching for a cup of tea, but the moment Asha's question unfolds, she drops it.
I stiffen, too, and exchange a look with Veronica. Now isn't the time to blurt out the news. It needs to be told gently and sparingly, and there's no sense in ruining everyone's mood tonight. I look over at Tia, but she's missed the question entirely. She's too busy chatting with Lila and Tiffany about something at the far end of the group. I shake my head ever-so-slightly at Veronica.
The healer yawns. "I hate to be a party pooper, but Mari and I wanted to steal some of Maylak's time. Can we talk in private for a bit?"
"Of course." At the fringes of the group, a woman in an ornately decorated tunic hands a baby to her mate and gets to her feet. She's tall and slender of build, and reminds me of a much calmer Farli. Her smile is gentle and sweet as she looks over at me, and then gestures to Veronica. "Shall we go to my hut?"
