“I thought the Aloi were the religious fanatics,” I said almost in a whisper as my mind took to wandering the many paths the Imminy had opened before it. If these things are true, then are we fighting gods?
“Think for yourself, Stavos. Call them gods if you will; the word carries no weight in our minds. We move with the universe or we are erased by it. There is no choice.”
“Is that how you excuse the genocides, the atrocities you commit? The—”
“It is. Let me stop you right there and tell you that it is. Your morals mean nothing to us nor the Ka nor the universe. You will not succeed in finding compassion in me.”
It took a while for my mind to process most of his words and to ask the one question hanging above this insane explanation.
“Are you telling me that the Ka can see the future?”
“Can you see the whole painting?”
I got up from the bench and circled around the holding cell while the Imminy’s big yellow eyes followed me in silence. I finally left without saying another word only to find the whole squad waiting for me in the hallway.
“I need a drink.”
“Finally!” Fars said throwing his hands in the air.
We sat down in Arthur’s faraday cage where I synthetized a bottle of black reindeer. The others just agreed with what I was having, and so we sat there, drinking the nasty brew.
“Why are you tip-toeing around me? I’m old enough. I can take it.”
“Oh, fuck you, Stavos,” Leo cursed. “You’re behaving like a toddler. What else do you expect from us?”
His reply was a slap back to reality that I urgently needed.
“Sorry for yelling,” I said, gulping down my first glass.
“It’s a lot,” Tailor said, doing the same. “We have to make sacrifices, in body, mind and heart if we want to win.”
Fars agreed and toasted to Tailor’s words.
“I think I like this human,” he said and raised his glass
“The Imminy just told me the Ka can see the future,” I just threw in casually into the conversation. Arthur was the only one who laughed.
“I highly doubt that, Stavos. Trust me.”
“Do you care to explain?”
“What is there to explain? We’ve been at war with the fuckers since time immemorial. For someone who can see the future they made a lot of bad decisions.”
“How do you know those bad decisions weren’t part of a greater plan?”
Arthur shifted in his seat for a short moment, took a big gulp of black reindeer, and put the glass down all in a very theatrical way.
“See? I did this all by myself and it made me happier. Do the Ka want me happy? No, but I did it anyway,” the big Eres dolt said.
I understood his point, but it was far from enough to convince me of anything.
“It’s a question older than both of us, than the universe itself perhaps,” Arthur continued on a serious note. “But it is also a question our minds can’t know the answer to.”
“And if the Ka can?” I asked.
“What an Imminy would say in his position is something that would make you question everything you’re doing right now, isn’t it? Their sharpest weapons are still their big squishy brains and they know how to wield them,” the Aloi replied. He was calm, collected, and smart. Unlike me who got riled up over every thing ever since coming to this shit place.
“But what if there’s a hint of truth there? Isn’t your race fanatically religious? Don’t the Aloi believe in a god or whatever it is?”
“We are. They are. Me? Not so much anymore.”
“Then how can a species as old and advanced as the Aloi still believe in such primitive myths?”
“Richard…” Tailor interrupted.
“No, what is it? Is there a god or isn’t there?” Just as I said those words, I realized how ridiculous I sounded.
“The Aloi have existed for longer than most races in the galaxy. A lot of our beliefs have some roots in reality but who knows how stories get twisted and reshaped in the course of millions of years? Theology won’t give you any answers.”
“Then who will?”
“You need to talk to the Convictionis again. If you truly want to know the extent of the Ka’s powers, you will need to get back there and resume negotiations,” McGill said firmly and she was right. There was no point in sulking over this. Those who had the answers were just outside of my ships, sitting there in their twisted minds and waiting for me. Let them wait.
“Back on Detera, in Instormia when you sent me on that mission to get that Aloi cocoon thing, do you remember, Tailor?” He nodded. “There was an assault bot there with fragments of a Technomancer’s mind. He might have been in service for a day, or for a century, you couldn’t know. But he was trapped in there. In his own bot performing whatever duties the Aloi wanted of him.”
McGill’s face crumpled up like a piece of paper.
“I didn’t know,” he replied, almost sounding guilty for something he had nothing to do with.
“They used his mind like a weapon. Like furniture, like… it was nothing. I swore I’d kill every single Aloi I met that day and here I am having to make deals with them after I found out they still do the same thing and worse. How can I negotiate with them?”
A long moment of uncomfortable silence reigned over us. There were no words that could excuse this, so no words were said. I felt as if someone had sucked the life out of me right then and there. It was as if I had been fighting for a week without sleep. Tailor noticed so he changed the subject.
“Before Stavos here drowns us all in depressing philosophy, how about we have a toast? Here’s to old friends, to new friends, and to staying alive! How’s that sound?
“Sounds just about right,” Arthur agreed, raising his glass.
“So. This is your new squad I gather? Very colorful. I must hear the story of how an Eres, a human, and a Templar decided to be best buddies!”
“Oh, I’ll tell it!” Fars almost yelled out in excitement as he jumped on his chair.
“I found Richard Stavos a bloody mess the very day he came to Xan, and I knew right then and there that his man was an honorable man!”
“You beat me for bleeding on your bed!”
“Indeed, and then…”
26
As I walked out of my quarters with a head fuzzy from last night’s drinks, I stumbled into McGill. She looked rather good from what I could see, but then again, it might just have been me appreciating her appearance.
“Morning, Captain,” she said and flashed me a weak smile.
“Morning, Captain,” I replied with what could pass for a smile as well. We stood there for several seconds in uncomfortable silence. Seeing it had become too awkward, she coughed and walked past me, continuing her usual dignified strut only to stop again seconds later.
“Yes?” I said expecting her to say something about our last night’s short but very physical encounter. We were both drunk, or I was at least, when we kissed in front of her quarters.
“The Convictionis expects us within the hour. They urged you, if at all possible, to bring Arthur this time.”
“I see,” I said, playing the I-guess-nothing-happened-after-all game.
“Good,” she said.
“Good,” I agreed. She turned around and took a step before I found myself and finally broke the ice.
“Captain McGill, can I ask you something?”
She turned around to face me, but her eyes were plastered to the floor.
“Do you enjoy living like this?”
She remained silent for what felt like an eternity. I even became nervous about her answer, when she let out a sigh and replied, “What are you getting at?”
“I mean here, on Primitea with the Alois? You said a lot about what the DA accomplished, but you never told me much about your own life. How do you feel about everything? Don’t you wish you were completely free and independent?”
Realizing I wasn’t going
to make a thing about last night’s kiss, she relaxed a little. Or that’s what I assumed.
“Without the Aloi, there wouldn’t be a Dusk Ascendancy.”
“That wasn’t the question, Freya.”
“If you’re referring to the Convictionis and the Soulspeakers, know that I have no problem with that nor will I ever have one. I’m happy here, and so is my family. What more would I want?”
“Do you think we’re destined to forever be a subservient race to the big players?”
“Do I seem like someone who’s subservient to the Aloi? What do you think?”
I grinned. I know I was boring everyone around me with my incessant questioning, but the world that opened before me was strange and discomforting. I was just trying to make sense of it all.
“Not really. That’s what I like about you.”
“Right. Go wash up and eat something before you wander around asking for answers to philosophical questions,” she added hurriedly. “One hour, Captain and then it’s back to the Convictionis. I hope this time you’ll show some respect for our ways.”
Fair enough, I thought.
“Freya, one more thing.”
“What is it?”
“About last night in front of your quarters. Was that a one-time thing?”
“One hour, Captain,” she stuttered. I could even make out the flushing cheeks as she turned around and walked away.
“What a strange woman,” I whispered as I thought on where to go next. Soon, though, I found myself sitting in the cantina and filling up on Primitean gallow eggs and freshly baked bread. It was an ancient food that tasted like heaven itself. I couldn’t help but think about Freya instead of the many other things I should have been thinking about. I felt like a giddy schoolboy who had gotten his first kiss and now thought the world was his for the taking.
A massive, sickly-looking yellowish Aloi Templar sat across from me. Instead of Arthur’s ravaged, depressing-looking face, a big metallic contraption the size of a cargo box sat atop his head.
“I don’t think that helmet goes with those shoes.”
“Yes, the thing looks funny, I get it.”
“Care to explain?” I asked stuffing another piece of bread down my throat. The Dusk Ascendancy had sent some of their best produce our way that morning. They were very fond of traditional Earthern things and I more than appreciated the gesture.
“Mitto helped me create this helmet to protect me from the other Aloi minds. This way I’ll be able to take part in the negotiations.”
“That’s good to know,” I muttered. I understood why he acted that way, or at least partially, but at least we’d made some progress.
“What are you eating?”
“Bread and eggs.”
“How does it taste?”
“It’s soft, warm, and salty. Even a bit sweet, I’d say.”
Arthur groaned.
“Can’t eat with that thing on your head?”
“Not really.”
“Arthur, please don’t say anything that would compromise me before the Convictionis.”
“I don’t think there’s anything I could say that the Dusk Ascendancy doesn’t already know.”
I thought about his words for a while as I continued my breakfast. We did a lot of nasty shit during our pirate days, and that’s after we did a lot of nasty shit in Xan. These people seemed revolted by the very mention of violence, which was somewhat of an issue considering my entire life could be surmised by the very word.
When Arthur appeared alongside me in the spire where we had started our negotiations, everyone present stopped what they were doing and looked at him as if seeing a ghost. We were greeted by Convictionis Ra’azeem again, and when the man, or Aloi or whatever he was, looked at Arthur, he went silent. Arthur was quite a strange one, especially the way he presented himself now, so the Convictionis as well as the Soulspeakers looked at the Templar with their mouths wide open.
“It’s good to see you again, Richard,” he finally said and motioned for us to join him in the chambers. “I hope today will be more productive than yesterday.”
“Likewise, Convictionis. I’ll do my best to… refrain from anything considered rude.”
“That’s good to hear. We really have high hopes for you and your… crew, but we need to establish some basic guidelines if we want to get along.”
I nodded my head silently as we entered the inner chambers. This time only Arthur and I were present in the meeting, even Convictionis Ra’aazem was absent. I guess they brought Tailor in last time to ease me into everything, but his role in all of this seemed less significant than I had hoped for.
The other Convictionis spared no time and addressed Arthur directly. For the first time since I had met Arthur the Aloi Templar, he seemed nervous. He was more than a thousand years old, and yet confronted with his past, he seemed more than reluctant to address the Convictionis’ questions.
“Cousin, we have missed you,” Convictionis Daxar began. Her Soulspeakers had a somber expression on their faces. They looked equally sad and shocked and were yearning for him and his presence.
“Cousin,” Arthur simply responded.
“You’re still blocking yourself from us. Why is that, cousin? After all these years, don’t you wish to return to us? Don’t you wish to join your circle again?”
Straight to the point, I thought. Sometimes it was better to just get it over with. This was one of those situations where awkwardness would only make it far worse.
“No, I don’t, cousin. I have decided to stay an unhinged mind until this body expires and then...” He trailed off as the three Convictionis leaned in wide-eyed. It was the first time I saw the Aloi minds use human expressions. I couldn’t tell if it was on purpose or not.
“Then what?” she demanded.
“Then I’ll die, I guess.”
One of Gris’ Soulspeakers left out a ridiculous shriek. Both of Daxar’s Soulspeakers were flushed with emotion and their eyes watered. Convictionis Daxar forced herself to calm down and went on.
“But why, cousin? Why would you seek death in that tortured Templar? Was your mind damaged in the years that—”
“No, it wasn’t damaged,” Arthur cut him off. “I’m as sane as I was the day I landed on Xan and was abandoned by my entire species.”
“There was no way we could have scanned the entire Partak Sector for one mind. You know this!” Daxar sounded apologetic; I began enjoying this interaction, not just because it was entertaining, but it gave me great insight into both Arthur and his race.
“We have always had minds that went astray, that were lost for centuries, but every one of them yearned to return to its circle, to unite with its cousins. All of them abhorred the idea of spending another second in the suit they were in and yet you—you don’t want any of that. Now you even tell us that you seek death?”
“I don’t seek death, cousin, but I accept it. It gives me meaning.”
The Convictionis were appalled by his words. Arthur had explained how the Aloi got rid of the evolutionary cul-de-sac known as death eons ago. Their original bodies could be regenerated ad infinitum in their little bio-coffins while they would switch one body, or suit as they called them, after another. Mistakes would still happen, of course. Aloi minds close to battlegrounds where they controlled the armies were always in danger of death, but service in the Aloi military was temporary and the ships where they kept their original bodies were well hidden from Federation forces. I for one, never even saw one during all my years of service.
“What greater meaning is there than to—”
“Convictionis Daxar,” Arthur said sternly. “Let’s not argue over the meaning of life.”
Convictionis Gris held up a hand as if asking to be heard.
“Is there a way you would join us once more, cousin? Why don’t you take that thing off your head and let us understand you, so we can work something out? Words can’t convey more than the illusion of thought.”
�
�Sometimes they offer more than what we think,” Arthur said. “Much more. And let’s be honest, I know what you want. There’s no way I’m going to allow you to flush my memories, my mind, and what I am. You will make me bend to your will, and I promised myself never to let anyone do that ever again. I enjoy being what I am, I enjoy this life that I have, and I don’t want to change it for anything in the world.”
“It is not up to you!” Daxar hissed, finally baring his teeth. His Soulspeakers slammed their hands against the table in anger.
I found this weird. Wasn’t it the mind of a human that spilled over to the Soulspeakers rather than the Alois’? Was the human within Daxar truly this angry or did this mean that the Aloi was too spilling over to the Soulspeakers? Perhaps the boundaries weren’t that clear cut, and it only made me hate this symbiosis even more.
“The Inner-circle will never allow a rogue Aloi. You know this! It is out of courtesy toward Richard Stavos that we allowed you to wear that ridiculous thing on your head. If it wasn’t for the captain and the forces within him, you would have been returned to your circle the moment we found you!”
Arthur turned his head to me, the metallic contraption hiding his emotions. Yet, I knew very well what Arthur wanted: it was time for me to speak up.
“Arthur is part of my crew and I’m bound to protect him. If there’s something that you want from him against his wishes, then there’s something you want from me against my wishes.”
The Convictionis fell silent to my surprise. Since my arrival, the DA was nothing but forthcoming, and though I did bring a lot of good things, like an Imminy prisoner and even a small fleet when it came to firepower, I never thought I’d be this relevant in matters that go way beyond my status.
Redeemer: A Military Space Opera Series (War Undying Book 2) Page 29
