by Sadie Carter
“Is it one of those dear terms humans use?”
“Dear terms?” What the heck did that mean? Then in clicked. “You mean an endearment. Like calling someone babe or honey or darling.”
“Yes, that.”
“Um, I’m not sure I’d quite call it that.”
He frowned. “It is an insult then.”
Was that disappointment in his eyes? Okay, she was meant to be cheering him up, not making him feel worse.
“It’s not an insult. Just. . .I don’t know, I guess it’s just a nickname.”
“A nickname.” He seemed to ponder that for a moment. “I will allow you to call me by this nickname.”
“Big of you,” she muttered.
His chest puffed out again and that arrogant look was back. Well, that didn’t take long to return. And that was not relief she felt.
No, definitely not.
Well, maybe a little bit.
“I am big. Nice of you to notice.”
“Hard not to notice the floor bouncing as you move.”
“It does not.” It didn’t. But she imagined it might in a less well-built ship. “But only in private.”
“Huh?” What was he talking about now? And these guys thought humans were difficult to understand.
“You may call me sweetcheeks in private. Other warriors might not understand when you call me sweet.”
“And you have an image to protect.”
“An image?”
She waved her hand. “It’s okay. I totally understand that. I had to change my image all the time when dealing with different clients. Some clients liked you to look dirty and poor then they figured you were desperate for work and charging them bottom dollar in order to get a job. Other clients wanted the best, so I had to pretend to be aloof and that I didn’t need their work because I had cash to burn and got to pick and choose our jobs. All about image, baby. And yours is safe with me.”
He was back to studying her again. Crap, what had she said that was too revealing?
“And what image do you project now?”
“How did I not realize how smart you are?” she muttered to herself.
But he obviously heard her as he leaned in. “Many underestimate my intelligence.”
She watched him for a moment. “This is just me.”
“Somehow I think there is more to you than I have seen.” Before she could reply to that, he blew her off balance again. “My brother is even more intelligent than I am.”
Well, shit. That could be a good thing and it might not be.
“Any reason why you think he’s not talking?”
He sighed. “I do not know this. I also do not know why he has not made himself known to me for the past three years. I mourned his death. He was the last of my family. I was alone. Even if he did not want to return to Zerconia for some reason, I would have come to him. I would have done anything for him.”
The very real pain in his voice had her aching and she leaned in without thinking and placed her hand on his. He froze. Stared down at their hands then up at her, his eyes wide with shock.
“Keely, what do you. . .”
But his voice faded away as the world went black.
Stars.
How had this happened? Why had she touched him? Que knew she hadn’t remembered about the mating bond. It was written in the shock all over her face before she fainted. He held her in his lap, rocking slightly.
Even though he knew this was supposed to happen, fear thrummed through his body. What if she did not wake up? This ship was not large enough to carry a regen machine. There was some medical equipment but he was not a trained healer.
He placed his fingers over her pulse. Steady. Her breathing was easy. He knew he panicked for no reason. Just a faint.
Still. He wished her to wake up and look at him. Speak to him. He did not care if she was mad at him over what had happened, blamed him, he just wanted her to wake up.
She seemed even smaller. When awake, she was full of attitude and life. Never really still. He grasped hold of her hand in his and felt the delicate bones underneath. She might try to project a tough image, but he now understood that was what it was. An image. Like the others she’d taken on, this was a way of protecting herself.
But she no longer had to do that.
He just had to figure out a way to convince her of that.
She stirred and his breath whooshed out of his lungs with relief. She blinked, stared up at him, her eyes dazed, her confusion clear.
“Que? What? Oh God, what am I doing in your arms?” She sat forward, trying to get off his lap.
“Lie still,” he grumbled. “You fainted. You might still be dizzy.”
“I fainted?” She gaped up at him. “But how. . .” Realization filled her face. “Fuck! I touched you. Fuck!”
She rolled out of his lap. He reached for her but she moved quickly, stumbling to her feet. Normally she was so fluid in her movements. He had never seen her misstep.
But right now, panic had her in its grip.
And he had no idea how to ease that for her.
She paced back and forth, her hands moving through her long hair, pulling at it. He winced, thinking that must hurt. He watched her carefully. If she continued to harm herself, he would have to step in.
“Why did I do that? Why?”
“I do not know, I believe you forgot about the mating bond and that touch would set it in motion,” he replied carefully.
She didn’t seem to hear him. She was too busy berating herself. She continued to tug at her hair. And then she suddenly turned and slammed the palm of her hand against the wall of the ship.
“Ouch! Shit!”
He jumped to his feet and came to her. “Enough,” he said firmly.
She stared up at him in shock, her eyes wide. He realized he had never used that tone with her before. He had tried ordering her, tried cajoling her. But he hadn’t given her this firmness. But it was enough to punch through the shock and fear surrounding her.
He held her hand carefully between his. She stared down at where they were connected. Her skin was several shades darker. Her hand looked tiny. Fragile.
“I know you are upset,” he told her in a low, calm voice. He might not understand her most of the time, but right now, he knew he needed to settle her down. “I know this is not what you wished.”
“Understatement.”
He winced at that. He had always assumed his mate would be overjoyed when he found her. Not continually reject him.
He let her hand slip free.
“Que, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”
“I know you do not wish me as your mate. I can only tell you I will try to be what you need. The mating bond has begun now. We may have some time before we are forced to complete it, as you know it is different for each couple. I shall give you some space. I know you prefer it. But I would tell you that I will not be happy should you hurt yourself again.”
With that said, he turned and walked into the cockpit.
7
His mate did not want him.
It was not a huge revelation. He should not feel this. . .despondent. Now she knew for certain she was his.
Yet still, she did not want him.
It was a blow. Twice in the space of a few days, he had felt the savage thrust of rejection. He did not count the other days where she had ignored or avoided him. He had viewed that as almost a test of his resolve to have her, his ability to protect and care for her.
Now, he saw none of it had been tests set up for him to pass.
She did not want him as her mate. Like his brother obviously did not wish to have him for a brother.
He turned with a roar and smashed his fist against a panel. It buckled in and his fist throbbed but the pain helped clear his head. He breathed in deep, let it out slowly. There was no choice but to proceed now. For either of them.
He knew that eventually their bodies would press them to complete the mating now that they had
touched skin-to-skin. Right now, though, he had to give her what he thought she would most desire. What she always asked for. Time and space away from him. Not easy in close quarters.
What did he do?
Without those answers, and figuring they would not suddenly come to him, he did something he had not done before. He decided to ask for help. He used his personal communicator rather than the one that this ship had as it could be monitored.
He answered immediately. His face showing concern. “Que?”
“Safan.” He studied the projection of the other warrior. Safan was very different from Que. He had always thought the other man was too lenient with his mate, that he should take a firmer stance with her. But he was starting to see the problems with that view. And Safan and Blue were happy, so perhaps he had things to learn from the other warrior.
“Is Keely all right?” Suddenly, Blue appeared next to Safan.
He rubbed at his chin. “Physically, yes.”
“Emotionally? Mentally?” Blue shot the questions at him.
He said nothing.
“Damn it, Que,” Blue said angrily. “Where is she? What’s going on?”
“She touched me,” he whispered.
Both of them froze. Blue’s eyes widened. “She touched you.”
“Yes. I do not believe she meant to. I mean, she reached out and placed her hand on mine but she forgot about the mating bond.”
“And was it there?” Safan asked.
“It’s there,” he confirmed.
“Holy shit balls,” Blue said.
He just shook his head, unsure how to reply to that. Humans had some very weird sayings.
“How is Keely now? Is she okay?” Blue asked.
“She is upset. She did not wish me for a mate.”
Silence.
“It’s not you,” Blue told him.
He raised his eyebrows. “I am her mate.”
“No, I mean, it’s not personal. It’s not that she’d want someone else. She doesn’t want any mate.”
“She has told me that.” He remembered that now and took some conciliation from that. At least it was not simply him she objected to.
“It was bound to happen, the two of you in such close quarters,” Safan pointed out.
That had been his hope, the reason he had agreed to her leaving Zerconia to go on this mission with him. “Yes,” he agreed. “But I did not expect. . .I had thought when it happened that she would be more welcoming. Happy.”
Blue just shook her head. “You expected her to just fall into your arms and declare her undying love for you and slip easily into your life? Really?”
“Yes,” he replied, even as he sensed that was the wrong answer.
She slammed the palm of her hand against her forehead. Several times. He looked at Safan in alarm, wondering why he did not do anything to stop her from hurting herself. But her mate just stared at her in amusement.
Yes, Safan was considerably different from him.
“Um, are you well?” he asked Blue.
She ignored him and instead turned to look up at Safan. “Your people are nuts.”
“I like nuts,” Safan declared.
“Of course, you do.” She turned back to glare at Que. “Listen to me carefully. A mating bond might be enough for you guys, but us human girls have these things called feelings and emotions.” She wrinkled her nose up. “Can’t believe I just said that.”
“I have feelings,” Safan declared. “I feel a lot for you right now.”
“Uh-huh, no time for sexy talk right now, gorgeous,” she told him. “I got to fix Que and Keely.” She grinned. “Now, that’s fun. Finally, I get to dish out advice to Keely. She’s always trying to tell me what I should do. Has ever since we were kids.”
“I do not believe her childhood was that enjoyable,” Que said.
Blue’s eyes widened. “She told you about her childhood?”
“A little bit. About how her mother left her with someone who tried to control her.”
“Huh.” Blue looked at him thoughtfully. “All right, you’ve made more progress than I thought. Keely is notoriously tight-lipped about stuff to do with her childhood.”
“Her lips are not tight.” They were full and lush.
Blue rolled her eyes. He did not know why humans did that. It looked painful. “Okay, here’s the thing. Keely has a lot of barriers erected to protect herself. And before you take that statement literally, I mean that she doesn’t let many people know about her past or what she’s really thinking or feeling.”
“Yes, I have guessed this. I have been trying to figure out ways to get her to share with me.”
Blue blinked. “All right, I like you a whole lot more than I thought I would.”
He did not know what that had to do with anything, so he just gave her a nod. After all, what was there not to like about him. “I like you also.” He hoped that was an appropriate response.
“So, tell me what happened with the whole her but touching you thing.”
He explained everything in detail. Blue was silent for a moment. “So now you’re giving her space.”
“It is what she prefers.”
“Yeah, but time and space just let her get her shields back up,” she explained to him. “You’ve got to keep pushing, but not too much or you’ll piss her off and she will completely shut you out.”
“Your advice is to push her but not push her?” he asked slowly.
“Yes. Just don’t back off completely but don’t be all, ‘weak human female you must submit to me in all things for your own good.’ You understand?”
Not at all.
He looked at Safan who appeared to be fighting laughter. His gaze caught Que’s and he shrugged. “I am not certain I understand either.”
Blue sighed. “Just don’t give her too much time to think. But don’t order her around either. Can you do that?”
“Yes, I suppose.” Even he could hear the doubt in his voice.
“I have something else. I’ll send it to your tablet. It’s a projection of mistletoe since we don’t have any actual mistletoe.”
Mistletoe? What was mistletoe?
Safan shook his head. “I do not believe that will be any help.”
“Keely loves Christmas. You never know. It might help. Christmas time is about miracles, after all.”
“She does? It is?” Que asked. “There is something miraculous about this Christmas?” He had thought it was about an old man with a big belly breaking into strangers’ houses to leave presents for children who were good.
“It will be if you get Keely to let you in,” Blue muttered, her head bent as she did something on her communicator. “To get to know the real Keely. There, you should have it. You never know, it might help.”
He pressed a button on his communicator to open the message she sent to him. A small projection of what looked to be a couple of leaves and some red berries floated in the air.
“This is supposed to help?” He failed to see how.
“It’s tradition at Christmas time that if you step under the mistletoe with someone, that you kiss them. It’s a symbol of love and friendship and is meant to bring good luck.”
His eyes widened. “So, if Keely were to step underneath this with another male, she would have to kiss them?” He did not like that.
“Well, no, nobody is going to force anyone to kiss someone they don’t want to. But it’s just. . .it’s a human tradition all right? And really, what can it hurt to give it a go? Wait for the right moment, hit the switch and boom, you get your Christmas kiss.”
“Blue, I do believe that is as much advice as Que can take right now,” Safan rumbled to his mate.
Blue sighed. “Well, good. Since I’m tapped out. Que?”
“Yes?” he asked cautiously, uncertain he could use anymore of Blue’s wisdom.
“Just don’t give up on her, okay? She’s been let down by too many people to take that well. Don’t let her push you away. And good luck, because
you’re gonna need it.”
She was a bitch.
God. Why had she done that? This wasn’t his fault. She’d touched him. Even though he’d known she was his mate, he’d never once taken advantage, never tried to accidentally touch her. Even in such close quarters he’d been careful.
She’d touched him.
She’d set off the mating bond.
Question was, had it been an accident or had she somehow unconsciously done it on purpose? Her head ached at that thought. Was it possible she wanted to mate with Que?
No. No, that was stupid. She didn’t need an oversized, domineering male in her life.
But it seems she now had one.
She knew the way this went. The longer they left cementing the bond, the more their bodies would start to press them to do so. She ran her hand over her face.
Fuck. Fuck.
What a mess. Not only had she set things in motion, but she’d been a complete cow to Que when it wasn’t his fault.
It was hers.
She’d done this. And now she had to fix it. Well, she couldn’t fix the whole mating thing. But she could do something about the way she’d just been to Que. She might not want a mate, but it wasn’t personal. Que was actually, well, she was starting to see that he was more than just brawn and bluster. He was smart. He had feelings. She could see how this stuff with his brother had hurt him.
His brother had disappeared and hadn’t been in touch. He’d thought he was dead all these years. She couldn’t imagine how it would feel to discover he’d been alive all this time.
And then he discovered his mate, only to be rejected by her.
Okay, fix it, Keely. Because while she might keep denying that she wanted him as a mate, she certainly never wanted to hurt him.
She’d hurt the big guy.
Crap. Shit.
Right. Buck up, Keely. Get in there and apologize. Then figure out what the hell happens from here.
She moved to the cockpit door. It slid open, allowing her entrance.
“Que, I think we need to talk.”
She took a deep breath as he turned, ready to apologize when the air froze in her lungs. “Que? What is it?”
