“Colton was married before,” she went on. “He was married for ten years until he and his wife just drifted apart. There were no harsh words, no arguing, just two people who simply didn’t want to be married anymore. The first time he told me that, I couldn’t even comprehend what that was like. I had no idea what to say.”
“Everyone’s circumstances are different.”
“And yet they still shape us. Colton walked away from his divorce not completely unscathed. In theory, it sounds simple, but he is a man who deserves to be loved wholeheartedly and completely.”
“So do you, Mom,” Mallory interjected. “Just like you’re not judging Colt because the person he was married to before stopped loving him, no one’s judging you because of Dad…you know.”
She chuckled softly. “I still don’t know if I believe that.”
“You know, we’ve never really talked about it – how Dad’s leaving affected you.”
“At the end of the day, Mal, he’s still your father. For better or for worse. I didn’t want to be the kind of mother who talked badly about my children’s father to them. I didn’t want to be the reason you and Sam didn’t have a relationship with him – didn’t want that responsibility. It was my job to love you both and encourage you on the decisions you needed to make where your father was concerned.”
“You know you had every right to trash talk him.”
She laughed again. “Yeah, I know. I was friends with several women who were also divorced and they all bitched a lot about their exes and all I could remember thinking was how bitter and petty they sounded. Sometimes they talked like that in front of their kids and I saw how it affected them. I didn’t want to do that to you and Sam.”
“We always appreciated it. Although…”
“Although…?”
“I can’t speak for Sam, but I hate how you couldn’t really let your feelings show because of us.”
“I didn’t look at it that way.” She paused. “At the time, it worked.”
“I guess. But I think it’s also why it took you so long to start dating. You had a lot of emotions to deal with.”
“That was only part of it. The real reason I didn’t start dating until you were older was because you and Sam needed me more than I needed to go out on a date. My main role in life was being your mother and it’s a role I have always loved. I didn’t see not dating as a bad thing.”
“What made you decide to go on that first date?” Mallory asked. “And I’m not talking about Colton. I’m talking about when we were living back up in New York.”
“Oh, my goodness. It was right after you and Sam left for college. My friend Heather asked if I would go on a double date with her. I was terrified. It had been ten years since I’d been out anywhere with a man and over twenty years since I’d gone out on a date with someone new!” She laughed at the memory.
“And how was it?”
“Awkward,” Susannah replied, still laughing. “I was so nervous and the guy – I can’t even remember his name – but he was such a jerk. He made it abundantly clear that he was looking for someone younger and flirted with the waitress most of the night. Heather apologized profusely and promised to make it up to me. She set me up a few more times before I finally asked her to stop and tried figuring it all out on my own.”
“You never talked about it much – your dates and all.”
Shrugging, Susannah reached for her coffee. “There wasn’t much to talk about. No one really interested me and I never got intimate with any of them. It just felt wrong.”
“Wow. So then when you and Colton…”
“Yup.” She gave a curt nod. “It had been a long, long time.”
“Again, wow.”
“Tell me about it.”
“Was it…?”
“Weird? Terrifying?” she prompted with a giggle. “Yes. It was all that and more.”
Mallory laughed with her. “I’m sure Colton made it all right.”
“He was beyond patient with me. I refused to turn the lights on for a long time. I couldn’t imagine any man wanting to see me naked. Hell, I didn’t even want to see me naked!”
“You’re in great shape, Mom, please. You don’t give yourself enough credit.”
“While I’m dressed, sure, I look good. But take all this off and there isn’t anything particularly firm or perky anymore.”
Rolling her eyes, Mallory took another bite of her muffin. “That’s just part of life.”
“Easy for you to say. You’re only twenty-seven.”
“You know I spent a lot of my teenage years being chubby. I worked hard to get in shape and then to get rid of the freshman fifteen I put on in college.”
Susannah patted her daughter’s hand delicately. “Someday you’ll understand exactly what I’m talking about.”
Putting the rest of her muffin down, Mallory faced her. “Let me ask you something.”
“O-kay…”
“Has Colton ever said anything negative about your body?”
“Uh…no.”
“Does he insist on keeping the lights off?”
She chuckled softly. “Definitely not.”
“And he clearly still enjoys sex with you, right?”
If the last twenty-four hours were anything to go by…
Susannah nodded.
“Then what are you so worried about? Do you know how many women your age would love to have a man look at them the way Colton looks at you?”
“Um…”
“Plenty!” she cried. “Hell, I see couples come into my shop all the time and most of them look like they barely tolerate each other.”
“Well, if they’ve been married a long time…”
“It has nothing to do with how long they’ve been married,” Mallory argued. “It’s about how you feel about each other. I’ve seen elderly couples come in and you can tell just by looking at them how they are still deeply in love. Sometimes they look just as sweet and doe-eyed for each other as a couple in a new relationship! It’s precious!”
“I’m not sure what that has to do with…”
“Look, I can’t force you to change your mind about marrying Colton. I wish I could, but I can’t.” Pausing, she let out a long breath. “But I can encourage you to embrace who you are and where your life is at right now.”
Tears sprang to Susannah’s eyes.
“You’re a rock star, Mom. You are this kick-ass woman who came through some really hard times and decided to take on all of this!” She motioned around the room. “You’re starting a business and doing something incredible! You never let anyone stop you – not even Dad. You just keep going and watching you and all you’ve accomplished is inspiring!”
Okay, now she was seriously crying. Reaching out, she pulled Mallory into her embrace. “Thank you.”
“I meant every word of it,” Mallory said, hugging her tight. “You’re the best role model a girl could ever want.” Then she pulled back. “And this – what we did just now – I like knowing that we’re not just mother and daughter, but that we’re friends. So…thank you.”
Susannah always had a close relationship with both of her children, but this moment with Mallory was special. She thought of her conversation with Georgia the other day and how she mentioned not having a close relationship with her daughters and right now, her heart truly hurt for her. It bothered her to know that Georgia had no idea how wonderful it was to sit and have a cup of coffee with someone you not only gave life to but who had become one of your best friends. It was something Susannah hoped every mother got to experience.
Hopefully someday Mallory will experience that for herself.
After a few minutes, they separated and finished their coffee and muffins. “So what’s up next for the inn?” Mallory asked. “Soft opening this weekend. Are you ready for it?”
“Oh my goodness, I think so!” she said with a smile. “This is a chance to give it a test run before we officially open. We’ll open the doors to the public to co
me in and tour the house and the grounds Friday afternoon and welcome our first official guests. I can’t believe it’s finally here!”
“You’ve wanted this for so long. I know Pops would be proud.”
“I’d like to think so. You know he hated making changes to this place.”
“And yet he left you the money to do just that,” Mallory replied. “I don’t think he was against having the work done. I think he hated knowing he couldn’t help with it. You know he was never good about taking a backseat when there was work to be done.”
“Isn’t that the truth,” she said with a laugh. “Still…there’s a part of me that really wished he could see it – to see that I didn’t tear it all apart.”
“You know Aunt Georgia would have done that if she got the house.”
They both laughed. “No, Georgia wouldn’t have torn anything down, but she would have made this place like a museum – someplace you didn’t feel welcome or weren’t able to sit down and relax.”
“Maybe.” She paused. “What you created here is just…it’s perfect.”
“Coming from you, that’s a high compliment. I know you love this house as much as I do – if not more.”
“Well, I did have a hand in the renovations…” Mallory said with a satisfied grin. “And I happen to think I did a damn fine job with finding the perfect furniture and accessories for you to use.”
“That you did.” Standing, Susannah looked around the living room and smiled. “It’s everything I hoped it would be and it will be the perfect location for your wedding.” Mallory stood and began collecting their mugs and napkins. “Which reminds me…”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah…a date. I know. Now that I waited so darn long, I hate the thought of taking a weekend away from paying guests.”
They walked into the kitchen. “After this weekend, I’m going to start taking reservations so just tell me which one you want blocked out so I can have the website updated.”
Placing the mugs in the sink, Mallory turned and studied her.
“What? What’s that look for?”
“What look?”
Her daughter had that look on her face like she had a secret of some sort. “Come on, Mal. Out with it. What are you thinking right now?”
“Just that you’re amazing.”
Susannah rolled her eyes.
“I’m serious! We’ve dragged our feet on setting a date and here you are on the verge of opening this incredible business and you’re not giving me any grief about horning in and taking a weekend away from paying guests.” She shrugged. “You are completely within your rights to tell me to wait and take my chances.”
“If you don’t know by now that you and your brother come first with me no matter what, then I don’t know what to tell you.” She smiled as she said the words and she meant every one of them. “But all kidding aside, have the two of you even talked about a general timeframe?”
“I’ve wanted to marry Jake for more years than you can imagine…”
Susannah nodded because it was never a secret that Mallory had a crush on Jake Summerford from the time she was a young teen.
“And when he proposed all I could think was how all of my dreams were coming true and I couldn’t wait to be his wife.”
“But…?” She wasn’t sure where this was going.
“I always wanted a wedding here in this house and for it to be big and wonderful! For us to be surrounded by everyone we knew and have it be this massive party.”
“And now?”
Mallory shrugged again. “Now I just want to be Jake’s wife. I don’t care about it being a big party or how many people are there. I’m just ready to start the next phase of our lives.”
Unable to help herself, Susannah walked over and hugged her daughter. “Say the word and we’ll make that happen. Heck, it’s the holidays. Everyone will be in town already and the place will be decorated for Christmas…”
“A Christmas wedding would be amazing!”
“Just think of all the evergreens and twinkly lights…the giant Christmas tree in the front window would make the perfect backdrop for vows…”
Pulling back, Mallory looked around. “Oh, my goodness! That’s tomorrow, right? We’re meeting the crew here to decorate tomorrow afternoon at three?”
“Yup. And it’s going to be beautiful!”
“We’re cutting it a little close, aren’t we?”
“I wanted everything to be fresh for the public tours. I didn’t want to take a chance that anything would wilt or brown. And I certainly don’t want artificial trees.” Together they walked back to the grand foyer. “Georgia’s going to come and help too.”
“Mom…” Mallory whined.
“She has impeccable taste and a real flair for decorating for the holidays. She knows she’s not in charge, but I figured we could always use an extra pair of hands.”
“Maybe.”
The sound of a car door slamming had them both looking toward the front door. “That’s Colton with the inspector,” she said nervously, swallowing hard. “I really hope everything passes and we can move on. There’s so much to do! And now you’re thinking of getting married at Christmas and…”
Mallory took both of Susannah’s hands in hers. “Breathe, Mom. Just breathe. The last thing I want to do is stress you out. I still have to talk to Jake about all of this so…let’s just put this on the backburner for right now and focus on the opening this weekend, okay?”
She nodded and walked over to the front door, pulling it open. Colton was standing in the driveway and as he turned to smile at her, her heart fluttered.
Just like it always did when he smiled at her.
And as he began to walk toward her, she felt confident that everything was going to be all right.
6
Opening day was a success. The response to the tours of the inn and its grounds were met with nothing but praise and Susannah found herself getting more than a little emotional. How she wished her grandfather could see how magnificent the old house looked and the wonder on her guests’ faces when she talked about the history of both the property and the town. Every word she spoke, every fact she shared, every story she told, she learned from him. Pops had such pride in this home and this town that sharing it seemed like a fitting tribute. And as much as he hated the thought of seeing the family home change, she had a feeling he still would be proud.
Strong arms gently wrapped around her waist and she let out a soft sigh as she leaned against Colton.
“The inn’s a big hit,” he said softly, resting his cheek against hers. “Not that I expected anything less.”
She hummed softly, enjoying the feel of his arms wrapped around her. He had been her rock through this entire process. He’d helped her make decisions and listened to her when she needed to talk. There was no way today would have felt like the success that it was without him standing here beside her. Now they were standing in the small living room in her private quarters staring into the fire and it was the perfect end to a perfect day.
“After hearing nothing but construction noise for so long and then a whole lot of quiet because it was just me here, it was nice to have the house filled with laughter today.”
He nodded and kissed her cheek. “You made everyone feel welcome. And I think it was brilliant to offer this weekend preview to members of the press and social media influencers to help spread the word about this place. I’m sure there are going to be nothing but rave reviews coming your way and you’ll be booked up for the coming year before you know it.”
The thought made her smile. “That would be amazing. But I can’t take all the credit for the idea. Mason’s fiancée was the one who suggested it after I talked with her a couple of months ago about handling some of the social media marketing.”
“Plus, she and Mason got a night here at the inn,” he teased.
“Oh, stop,” she said, laughing softly. “Family is welcome here any time they want.”
“Still, it’s bett
er that they get the chance now while they still can.”
Pulling away slightly, she turned and looked at him. “You mean because of the baby?”
“No, I mean because there aren’t going to be any vacancies for a long time. I’m certain of it.”
Reaching up, she caressed his face. “You are very sweet to say that, but I don’t want to get too ahead of myself. The grand opening isn’t for another couple of weeks. This was really just a test run.”
“A successful test run,” he confirmed. He hugged her close before stepping away. “I should be going.”
Confused, Susannah turned around and faced him. “Going?”
Nodding, Colton picked up his coat from the sofa before smiling at her. “It’s late and I shouldn’t be here.”
Now she was even more confused. Walking closer to him, she asked, “Why shouldn’t you be here? Don’t you want to see how breakfast goes tomorrow?” The words were spoken lightly but even she could hear how nervous she sounded.
He was standing in front of her and reached up to caress her cheek. “Susannah, it’s not proper for me to spend the night here when you have guests. I know we know most of them personally, but it’s still not right. I don’t want anyone making any snide comments about the innkeeper sleeping with the handyman or anything like that.”
She couldn’t help but laugh at the image. “Colt, that sounds a little like bad porn right there. No one’s going to think anything of it. All the rooms are upstairs. No one will even know you’re here.”
And that’s when she knew exactly what was wrong. Even without considering the sad smile on his face, it even sounded wrong to her own ears.
“Colton, that’s not…I mean…”
His hand on her cheek stilled. “I’m not looking to be your secret, Susannah. There was a time when we kept things quiet when Sam was still living here, but that was different.”
Reaching up, she held his hand to her. “I don’t want you to go,” she said softly, urgently. “I want us to celebrate all we accomplished together.”
If it were possible, his smile turned even sadder. “Sweetheart, I’d like nothing more than that, but not at the expense of your reputation.”
All The Befores Page 6
