She recalled his words: Would you rather die than be with me?
Evander was turning the foil packet over and over between his thick, long fingers. “I see,” he said. “I appreciate you telling the truth. I’m sad you felt desperate enough to order them after our first encounter but I understand it. And I’m assuming you’re aware that if you tried using these, I’d notice it immediately. So you might as well toss them out.”
“Actually, like I said, I was hoping to study them. Reverse engineer one or two, examine the active ingredients, dissect the compound…” she trailed off.
There was a long pause, during which Clara could almost see his thoughts flashing through his mind. “That box contains dozens of patches. Surely you don’t need them all just for research?”
“Well, no, but they weren’t cheap. Maybe I can send some back and get a refund.”
“I’d prefer it if you just threw them away. Set three aside to study, and toss the rest.”
For the first time in days, Clara felt genuine resentment for the russet-haired man looming over her. She lifted her chin defiantly. “Don’t you trust me? Even now? You said it yourself, you’d notice if I started wearing a patch. So why the insistence on throwing these out?”
“You should watch your tone,” he growled. “This is a side of you I haven’t been missing.”
“But it’s a side of me I have been missing!” she retorted. “What, do you think that just because you bit me, I’m now the meek little submissive Omega you’ve always wanted?”
He said nothing, but his eyes flashed dangerously.
Even though Clara knew she should hold her tongue to stop things from escalating, she found it impossible. “Just because you wish for something, that doesn’t make it so. I’m still me, Evander. I’m still smart, ambitious, driven, and independent. Don’t let my softer behavior over the past few days fool you. I’m in a shitty position right now, but don’t believe for one second that I would suddenly, magically be content to be nothing but your mate and a mother just because you sank your teeth into my neck!”
“When exactly did I ask you for that?” he said, his voice so low, she had to strain to make out the words. “When did I say that was what I wanted?”
“You didn’t have to say it. It’s obvious!”
“How so?”
She paused, thinking furiously, trying desperately to come up with a concrete example.
“The reason you’re struggling now, sweetness, is because I never, not once, demanded that you give everything up,” he answered for her. “Encouraging you to embrace the real you, to understand that being an Omega isn’t something to be ashamed of—despite what your father has drilled into your head all your life—is one thing. Forcing you to give up your career and become nothing but a meek, voiceless creature who’s only good for breeding is quite another. And that’s something I’ve never even hinted at.”
He let out an exasperated sigh and shoved his huge hand through his hair, brushing it away from his face.
“I’m going to go to work now. And to prove that I do trust you, I will leave this box here, for you to do with as you wish.” He narrowed his eyes. “But believe me, there’s not a square inch of your body on which you could hide a patch from me. And if you have any sense at all, you’ll already know that not only is that true, but also that trying a new kind of suppressant isn’t going to help this situation in any way.”
“No,” she spat. “I’m well aware of that.” She touched the spot on her neck where the wound from his bite was still healing. “You robbed me of that possibility when you did this!”
They glowered at one another for several long seconds, then he turned on his heels and disappeared back into the bedroom. Just a couple of moments later, he stalked past her and, with a muttered, “I’ll see you after work,” he left the apartment, closing the door behind him with a heavy click.
Clara reached into the box and drew out one of the foil squares, staring at it furiously. He was letting her keep the package and she’d had the last word so, on paper, she had won.
Then why did she feel so bad?
It had been a long, tiring day at work, and Evander was exhausted. He’d found it hard to concentrate because his mind had kept replaying his argument with Clara that morning over and over again in an endless loop—and every time, his blood boiled anew.
He wasn’t even mad that she’d ordered the suppressants. Considering her behavior the day after their very first night together, it was hardly a surprise that she’d sought another way to get away from him. It hurt that she was still so desperate to escape her desire for him, but with the upbringing she’d had, was it really so unexpected?
That she’d felt the need to lie to him, on the other hand… Dishonesty was something he could never tolerate.
The situation had to change, that much was clear, but how? The past week or so had been wonderful, but any joy he found in spending his nights in bed with Clara, getting to know her, was constantly overshadowed by the knowledge that the clock would run out and they still hadn’t worked out how to safely move forward.
One option would be to relocate. He could take her back to Lankom, where the rest of his family lived, where he had grown up. Evander had chosen to live in Sandor because it was better for his career, and he’d wanted to be close to Arius, his best friend. But now he was in a position where he could work in any city where new buildings were needed, and while he would miss Arius, they no longer saw each other so often anyway. Not since Arius had found Saskia and become the new ruler of the kingdom of Sandor, all within the space of the same week.
Of course, Clara would have to leave her father, and Evander personally thought that getting out from under his heavy shadow might do her the world of good. But there was also the not insignificant matter of her career, something she clung to and essentially lived for. There were no medical research centers in Lankom; that particular economic field was focused solely in the capital. So by suggesting relocation as an option, he would be forcing her to choose between him and her career. And that was not something he ever wanted to do to her.
Besides, even though the last few days had been wonderful, even though he’d discovered a softer, sweeter side to her and had caught her looking at him occasionally with what he could only describe as genuine affection, deep down, he knew she’d always choose her job over him if her hand was forced.
In an ideal world, she’d be equally passionate about him—perhaps even more so—but they didn’t live in an ideal world.
The elevator doors opened with a ding, and he let out a sigh as he headed toward her front door, wondering what kind of mood she’d be in. He’d made a detour on his way home and picked up a bottle of her favorite wine as a peace offering. Hopefully she wouldn’t fling it at his head.
Using the spare key to her apartment she’d given him, he unlocked her front door and entered, setting the bag of groceries on the kitchenette counter and the bottle of wine beside it. “Sweetness?” he called. “I’m home. I brought you something.”
It was then that he spotted the note lying on the counter; he’d almost put the bag of groceries right on top of it. Tugging the slip of paper free, he read, in Clara’s neat, small handwriting: Gone to talk to a friend. Back soon.
Evander was stunned at the bolt of possessive anger which slammed through his gut the moment he’d finished reading. He wasn’t usually the jealous, mistrustful type. Then again, he had never had a mate before. Was this a typical reaction when an Alpha found his Omega missing?
Why hadn’t she named this friend, though? Why the mystery? Why hadn’t she waited for him, then they could have gone together?
With a growl, he shoved the milk he’d bought into the fridge and stormed back out of her apartment. This is all Arius’s fault, he thought savagely. He suggested I claim Clara immediately. And now look where we are—in hiding, fighting, unsure what to do next. He got me into this mess, maybe he can help get me out of it.
Several mi
nutes later, he was outside the royal apartments, grateful to see a guard he recognized. “Evander,” the guard said with a polite nod. “Is his Highness expecting you?”
“No,” Evander said cheerfully. “Is he in?”
“No, but he’s due back at any moment. Would you like to go in and wait? The queen is home.”
“Sure.” Evander waited as the guard opened the door. The moment he entered Arius’s plush living room, two women leapt to their feet. One, as he had expected, was Saskia.
The other was Clara.
“What are you doing here?” she said, her almond-shaped, emerald eyes wide with shock.
“I could ask you the same question,” Evander growled. “Didn’t we agree that you’d stay home for the time being?” She was wearing a black, knee-length skirt, a tight, mint-green sweater, and a black scarf was knotted around her neck. She looked terrified, trapped, and gut-wrenchingly beautiful.
“Clara asked to see me,” Saskia interrupted them both in her calm, soft voice. “She wanted to talk to a fellow Omega.”
Some of Evander’s initial fury abated. “I see,” he said slowly.
“I left you a note.” Clara was still defiant, defensive.
“You didn’t specify which friend you’d gone to see.”
“So how did you know?” she demanded.
He cleared his throat. “Actually, I came to see Arius.”
“Oh.”
“Why don’t we all sit down and have some wine?” Saskia said. “Arius will be home any minute.”
“I wouldn’t want to interrupt your conversation.” Evander tried hard to keep the ice from his tone. While he understood and supported Clara’s need to talk to a fellow Omega, he couldn’t stand being made to look foolish.
“It’s fine. After all, you’re involved too,” Saskia said, either oblivious to or ignoring the pointed look Clara was giving her.
They all sat down, and Evander was acutely aware of Clara beside him. Her delicious scent tickled his nostrils, and he ached to take her hand. When Saskia picked up the decanter and poured him a goblet of wine herself, he asked, “Where’s Tavos?”
“I sent him away to give us some privacy,” she said.
“And then I came and interrupted you. I’m sorry.” Evander indicated the scarf around Clara’s neck. “You could wear that to work.”
Immediately, she turned to him, her green eyes flashing with barely suppressed anger.
“She could, for a time,” Saskia said smoothly, “but after a while, people would start to ask questions. Especially when the weather gets warmer.” She took a sip of her own wine and exhaled thoughtfully. “Clara told me what happened, and that she’s been in hiding for a week. What you both need is a permanent solution, not a superficial, temporary fix. And personally, I think the only thing to do is to tell the truth. Come clean. To everybody.”
Clara gave an audible gasp and shrank back against the sofa cushions.
Saskia seemed remarkably unfazed. As Evander watched her, he was taken aback by the change in her. When she’d first met Arius, she’d been so timid and terrified, barely able to look anybody in the eye. Whereas now…
“Think about it,” Saskia said. “What’s the worst thing that could happen? Yes, you faked being an Alpha so you could attend school and go to work. But I’m sure many people could understand, maybe even empathize with that desire. It’s not like you killed anybody or committed any other heinous act.”
“If my father ever finds out his precious daughter is actually an Omega, he’ll kill me,” Clara said. “He loathes…” She caught herself and flushed a deep crimson. “He has no respect for Omegas.”
“Then he’s a fool,” Arius said, making everybody jump, including Evander.
“My love,” Saskia got to her feet and gave her mate a kiss. “I didn’t hear you come in.”
“And I didn’t expect us to have company.” Arius grinned broadly at Evander. “It’s good to see you. Now, is this a private conversation, or can I join in?” Without waiting for any kind of response, he folded his huge body into the couch and poured himself a goblet of wine. “Clara, my dear. You were saying?”
“I think you heard me,” Clara muttered. “I hate to speak ill of my father but any pride he ever took in me was because he thought I was an Alpha. If my mother and I had ever told him I was an Omega, he would have sent me to the Facility without a second thought, and forgotten he even had a daughter.”
“And you still crave approval from a man like that?” Arius said.
“He’s the only family I have. And I can’t really explain it but I’ve had this fierce desire to please him for as long as I can remember.”
It was on the tip of Evander’s tongue to tell Clara that, as her mate, he was her family now, but reading the negativity radiating off her fragile form, he decided against it.
“Before you got home, we were discussing what options Clara and Evander have now that Evander’s claimed her and she bears the mark,” Saskia informed Arius. “I said I thought it best if she came clean and just told everybody.”
“There aren’t really any other options anyway, are there?” Arius said. “It’s not like she can hide away forever.”
“We could relocate. Go somewhere where nobody knows us—or don’t know Clara, in any case. They’ll never have to find out she spent so many years living as an Alpha.”
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Clara turned on Evander furiously. “You know full well that the only medical research facility in Sandor is here in the capital!”
“Hey,” Evander said, trying to hide the hurt and anger in his voice. “I was just listing it as an option. And maybe you could find work doing something else.”
“Clara?” Saskia said gently. “Could I have a word with you in private?”
At length, Clara slid her gaze away from Evander and nodded. “Of course.”
Saskia stood up. “Please excuse us.”
“We’ll be right here,” Arius said, patting her ass as she walked past him.
Evander clenched his fist not holding the wine as the two women left him and Arius alone.
“Don’t look so mad,” Arius said, leaning back against the sofa cushions with a sigh. “Trust me. This is a good thing. I think Saskia’s in a position to help Clara. And in the meantime, we can hang out.”
“Trust you?” Evander barked out a bitter laugh. “The whole reason we’re in this mess is because you said that last time—and I was dumb enough to listen to you.”
Arius’s dark eyes took on a dangerous glint. “You’ve spent the past week with her, haven’t you? She’s your mate now. You got what you wanted: her. All that’s left to work out are the pesky little details.”
Defeated, Evander slumped back and drained his wine. Unfortunately, those pesky little details were a gigantic pain in the ass…
Chapter Twelve
“Do you really hate Evander that much?”
Clara blinked and stared into Saskia’s blue-green, questioning eyes. “Hate him?”
Saskia nodded. “The way you were looking at him in there… let’s just say it didn’t look like love, or even affection. So tell me truthfully: do you want to escape him altogether?”
Clara couldn’t have been more taken aback. “No!”
“Good. Then what is it you do want?”
“I don’t know! That’s the problem! Ever since the suppressants failed and my Omega side came out, I’ve been so confused. So torn. Part of me adores being with him, wants to be his mate, aches for him when we’re apart. But the other part still feels like an Alpha.”
“And what does your Alpha side want?” Saskia probed gently.
“To work. To have friends. To keep my father’s respect. To not be dependent on anybody. This past week, I haven’t left my apartment. Evander had to go and get food. It almost drove me insane!” Clara admitted.
“What if I told you that you could have both?” Saskia said. “Or has Evander demanded that you give up your job?”
“Not in so many words… but you heard him just now! Suggesting we move away and I find work doing something else. I love what I do here. I want to stay here.”
“It was a suggestion,” Saskia said, “nothing more. The main thing is that, as far as he’s concerned, nothing needs to change for you. He still wants you to work, have friends, maintain a degree of independence. Or has he told you otherwise?”
“No,” Clara said grudgingly.
“Then you both have the same goal. And from what I can see, that goal is for you to be able to live openly as an Omega without judgment or penalty—both from your father, and your peers.”
“That will never happen. At least, not with regards to my father.” Clara sighed. “Look, I’m not even sure how to say this without being rude, but I really want to know: did you ever feel ashamed of being an Omega? The last time we met, you mentioned that you hid your status and lived as a Beta. Why? Was it just because you didn’t want to be somebody’s mate, or was there some other reason?”
Saskia tossed her long hair back over her shoulder and indicated a nearby table and chairs. “Sit,” she said.
Clara sat, her hand clasped on her knees, hoping she hadn’t offended the queen.
Once Saskia was seated opposite her, she let out a little sigh. “Like you, I loved my life just the way it was, and didn’t want it to change. I love my family and didn’t want to leave them. And, like you, I thought being an Omega was a curse. I never felt ashamed of it, but I was envious of my sister, who was a Beta.”
Clara thought about that for a moment. She couldn’t imagine having a sister who was a real Alpha. “That must have been awful.”
Prima Mate Page 11
