by Cait Marie
Lee put his arm around her shoulder as she climbed up next to him. With his free hand, he traced a pattern across her open palm. “I should head back to my room. It’s getting late, and we need to leave with the morning tide if we want to make it to the Sannwyn Isles in good time.”
Ada shifted higher in the bed to face him more. “Just stay.”
Sliding his hand to the side of her neck, he pressed his lips to hers.
“Stay,” she whispered against his mouth. She smiled when he didn’t argue for once. Instead, she heard distinct thumps as he kicked his shoes off to the floor. He gently pushed her back against the mattress. Hovering above her, his blue-green eyes reflected in the firelight.
She stared up at him, lifting a hand to his cheek. It wasn’t difficult to decipher the love and longing in his gaze. As she pulled him back down to her, she silently reminded herself that this was why they were fighting so hard. That was why she had to break the curse.
She refused to be the reason that warmth and happiness left him.
Shane fell back into his pillow with a sigh. The coughing fits took so much energy.
“It’s getting worse,” Phillip whispered as he wiped Shane’s brow with a damp cloth. He’d arrived sometime while Shane tossed and turned, unable to sleep. Ada had come in to say goodbye to them both, and pretending he didn’t feel dreadful took every bit of effort he had.
It was as if nothing had changed, but Shane could still sense the tension from the night before. He kept thinking about what Phillip had been about to say before they were interrupted.
Shane began pushing himself up, and Phillip quickly moved to help. “I thought you had more time. It’s progressing too quickly.”
With his back against the wooden headboard, Shane tilted his head to look at his best friend. In his search for answers, he did find one thing. “It wasn’t the same strain he injected me with…”
“What?”
“Viktor was experimenting. I found his journal and—”
Phillip tossed the rag to the side, cutting Shane off, and paced next to the bed with his hands clasped behind his head. He mumbled something about paying the physician a visit to return the favor.
“Phillip,” Shane said softly.
His friend turned to face him, despair filling his eyes.
“Just come sit with me.” He moved over to make room.
Phillip let out a breath before joining him. “I can’t lose you.”
His words were barely audible, and he refused to meet Shane’s gaze. The tension in the air shifted as they sat side by side. They had shared that close space their entire lives, but Gwyn’s words repeated in his head on a loop. He’s in love with you.
Shane hadn’t believed her. He tried to brush it off as nonsense, even with Adalina’s confirmation. If anyone knew the truth, he would bet on his sister, but he didn’t understand how he’d never seen it. Now that it was pointed out, he recalled Phillip’s specific behaviors and words. The way he seemed to always try to keep a certain distance between them, and when he couldn’t, the way he kept his gaze away.
With a deep breath, he laid a hand over Phillip’s. “I’m still here.”
Before, he wouldn’t have thought twice about touching his friend. Now, he noticed Phillip’s slight hitch of breath.
Phillip cleared his throat and stood from the bed. “I should go see if Ada’s all set to head out.”
Shane fought a smile. The truth he was afraid to see stared him right in the eye. He thought back to the past few days—of being upset that his sister was the one always there for Phillip. With a startling realization he knew why. He wanted to be the one Phillip turned to. He wanted to be the one who comforted him.
Phillip wasn’t the only one who was jealous.
When his friend still wouldn’t look at him, Shane slid to the edge of the bed, swinging his legs over the side. He stumbled as he stood, and Phillip rushed to catch him.
“What are you doing?”
“You won’t look at me,” Shane whispered.
Red-rimmed hazel eyes met his. Phillip still had both hands on his shoulders steadying him, and Shane wrapped his arms around him, hugging him to his chest. Phillip stilled for a moment before accepting the embrace and locking his arms around Shane’s back. A shudder ran through him, and Shane held on tighter. Like he’d wanted to for days.
“It’s going to be all right,” Shane whispered.
Phillip buried his face in Shane’s neck, tears dampening his shirt. Shane cradled the back of his head with one hand. They’d hugged before, but this was something new entirely. While it scared Shane, it also felt right. He was wrong to think he’d never had anyone utterly familiar and casual by his side—that he’d never experienced such comfort with anyone.
Because he’d always had Phillip. He just didn’t realize it.
They held onto each other a moment longer before Phillip straightened and leaned back. It broke Shane’s heart to see his friend so upset.
“I’ll be fine.” He raised a palm to Phillip’s cheek.
Phillip shook his head, his eyes fluttering shut as he leaned into the touch. “We need to find a cure.”
“I know,” Shane replied. “We will find it.”
“Shane… You can’t—I can’t lose you.”
“You are not going to lose me,” Shane said in a firm, confident tone. The one he used for council meetings and dealing with the nobles. He had been raised to put on a façade in front of others—to lie when necessary to stop people from panicking. He just never had to use it with his best friend before. “Ever.”
Phillip’s eyes opened; lines formed in the center of his forehead as he stared in confusion. Shane’s lips tugged up on the side at the familiar look. He stepped closer and dropped his hand down to Phillip’s chest. Phillip shook his head and staggered backward, pulling out of Shane’s reach.
Shane just stared at him. Maybe Gwyn was wrong. That didn’t explain Adalina’s words though. He sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed his eyes.
“I’m sorry,” Shane whispered, not knowing what else to say.
“I don’t understand,” Phillip said after a minute of silence. “What was that about?”
Shane toed the carpet beneath him. With a sigh, he raised his head. “Forget it. It was just something Gwyn said last night.”
“Of course it was,” Phillip mumbled under his breath.
“You know, eventually, you two are going to have to move past this. She’s my friend. I need you two to be all right with each other. Regardless of any feelings that may have evolved.”
At his side, Phillip’s hands turned to fists. He kept his eyes on the ground—fixed on the wall. Anywhere but at Shane.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yes, you do,” Shane said, crossing his arms. He needed to figure out a way to just say it, to get through to him. “Ada told me.”
Phillip’s wide eyes snapped to his. Shane wasn’t sure what he expected, but the hurt swimming there wasn’t it. He didn’t want that, and he definitely didn’t want to make Phillip think he couldn’t trust Adalina.
“No.” Shane sighed. “She didn’t tell me. She just… didn’t deny it. But you know what I’m talking about now, which means… it’s true?”
Phillip looked flustered. He let out a frustrated groan as he shoved a hand through his wavy blond hair. Shane laughed as Phillip began pacing again.
Phillip glared then pointed at him while continuing back and forth. “This is not funny.”
“I know,” Shane said, but he couldn’t stop his smile from spreading. “Phillip, please stop pacing. It’s making me dizzy.”
He immediately froze and mumbled an apology. “I should go.”
Shane stood, gripping the bed post. “What? No. Please don’t…”
They stared at each other across the space. Behind Phillip, the sky began to lighten outside the large window. Adalina was likely to the ship already, preparing to head out on yet anothe
r quest. Shane prayed to the stars that she found the Heulwen. He’d needed her to find it for Detmarya, but as he looked into the eyes of his closest friend, he had much more selfish reasons floating through his mind as to why he wanted her to find the flower.
“What about Gwyn?” Phillip’s words snapped him back to the present.
“What about her?” Shane’s brow creased.
“I thought you two were…” Phillip shrugged. “Close.”
“We are. She has become a really good friend through all this.” When Phillip bristled, Shane added, “But that’s all we’ll ever be. She is just a friend. I didn’t realize that until…”
His words trailed off, but his meaning lingered in the air between them. Phillip took a hesitant step closer, easing the tightness in Shane’s chest a fraction. Shane sat back down as Phillip stopped a foot away. The soft light from the rising sun gave him an almost ethereal glow.
“Until?” Phillip whispered.
“Last night.”
“Last night.” Phillip visibly inhaled. “When Gwyn and Ada spoke to you?”
Shane nodded.
Phillip let out a breath that sounded somewhere between a relieved sigh and a laugh. Then, he shook his head, running a hand through his hair again. “But you’re not…”
Shane remained quiet. He didn’t have an answer to that. He’d never given any thought to it, and this was all new to him.
When he didn’t respond, Phillip clarified, “You can’t be. You’re the king.”
“I…” Shane stopped. Something he hadn’t even known he wanted was ripped away from him with that one statement. Phillip was right; it was his duty to produce heirs and keep the royal line going. He cursed under his breath. Then again more loudly as he put a hand to his forehead.
Slowly, Phillip approached. He pulled Shane’s hand down, looking as nervous as Shane felt. When he placed a hand on either side of Shane’s neck, the king stopped fighting the smile.
“I am going to find you a cure,” Phillip said, his gaze locked with Shane’s. “I am going to make this better, and then we will figure out the rest.”
Shane licked his lips and nodded again. It seemed to be the only thing he was capable of.
“You are killing me.” Phillip chuckled and leaned forward. He paused, and Shane could see the deliberation in his eyes. The fear he knew mirrored his own. After a moment, Phillip seemed to come to a conclusion with a slight nod to himself. Leaning forward, he pressed his lips to Shane’s brow. He lingered for a second before stepping back. With a deep breath, he turned away and headed toward the door.
“Wait! Where are you going?” Shane said, quickly standing to follow. The room tilted around him, but he refused to stop. He grabbed the post to walk around the end of the bed.
“With the Nihryst to find the cure,” Phillip said as he faced him from across the room.
“Phillip—”
“No. Your sister needs to know. This has gone on long enough.” With long strides, he crossed back over to Shane and steered him into bed. “I’ll go to Rayerna and find the damn flower myself if I have to. I’m not losing you.”
Shane laid back on the soft mattress, and Phillip pulled a blanket up over him.
“Phillip, I don’t want you to go…” Shane grabbed his hand before he could walk away again. He hated the desperation in his voice, but he didn’t want his best friend to leave. Not when he’d taken a turn for the worse. He didn’t know how long he had, and he didn’t want to spend it alone.
“I have to do this,” Phillip whispered.
Shane sighed. “I know. Just… please be careful. Come back to me.”
Phillip smiled and leaned down to kiss the top of his hand. “I will always come back to you, my king.”
With that, he was gone.
“Hold up!” a voice shouted as they made to remove the gangway.
Ada ran to the rail. Phillip crossed the plank onto the ship and dropped the bag from his shoulder as he stopped to catch his breath.
“What are you doing here?” Ada asked, looking around at the wakening streets. “Did you run all the way down here from the castle?”
“Ada,” Lee shouted down from the wheel.
She waved up to him, knowing they couldn’t stall. Turning back to Phillip, she said, “We need to go.”
“I know.” He walked over to help Ren pull the wooden walkway onboard then gave a thumbs up to the captain. “I’m coming with you.”
Ada let out a relieved breath. She missed her friend and loved having him on these adventures, but she didn’t want him to feel obligated. She quickly moved over and wrapped her arms around his middle. A chuckle vibrated through his chest as he held her close.
When she leaned back, she said, “I want you to come, but I’m a big girl, Phillip. I can go on my own.”
He looked at his feet. “This isn’t about you.”
The ship rocked as it slowly moved away from the docks and out to the sea. Birds chirped overhead, and sailors along the nearby ports shouted back and forth. But all Ada could focus on was the grim shadow that had flickered through her best friend’s eyes.
Brienne walked by, slapping him on the shoulder in greeting as she went, but he didn’t break his stare.
Ada took a deep breath, her stomach twisting in dread as she thought of the night before—of telling her brother to talk to him. “What is it?”
“Can we talk in the cabin?” he asked in a somber tone.
She nodded, and after he grabbed his bag, she took his hand and led him to the captain’s quarters. The cozy space now felt more like home to her than her childhood bedroom. It was familiar and full of memories. The rising sun filled the room with warm light that cut through the brisk autumn air—the walls keeping out the majority of the coolness during the day. At night, it grew so cold she yearned for the large stone fireplaces throughout the castle. But having Lee keep her warm was an acceptable alternative.
Philip released her hand and continued toward the cot as she shut the door. When she turned to face him, the sinking feeling in her gut returned. Had her brother truly hurt him? She knew Shane wouldn’t intentionally, but maybe the rejection was too much for Phillip after so long. She had really believed things would work out somehow. There had been a spark in her brother’s eyes when she told him the truth, and she thought…
“Phillip,” she whispered, walking closer. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s Shane,” he said, looking away. “He…”
Tears brimmed his eyes as he finally met her gaze, and her chest tightened. There was more pain than she’d ever expected. She reached for him, but his words froze her in place.
“He’s sick, Ada.”
She heard the words but couldn’t make sense of them. Shaking her head, refusing to believe what he implied, she whispered, “I don’t understand.”
“Viktor injected him before we returned to take on your father. He has the Kald.”
The ground beneath her tilted. She wasn’t sure if it was her or the ship rocking. Phillip moved but not fast enough. Collapsing, her knees hit the wooden floor. A trembling hand covered her mouth as she shook her head.
No. No. No.
Distantly, she heard her name called. Shouts erupted, but she couldn’t move. Someone knelt behind her, encircling her with strong arms as they twisted her around. Green eyes met hers, and she choked on a sob.
“What did you do?” Lee barked over her shoulder while gently pulling her into his arms.
Before Phillip could reply, Ada leaned into Lee’s chest, gripping his shirt in both hands. Her tears soaked the fabric as she buried her face against his neck. “Stop,” she whispered.
Tightening his grip around her, Lee said, “Adalina, love, what happened?”
She turned back, unable to speak the words, and nodded at Phillip. Understanding, he repeated what he’d told her. He explained how Shane had pretended he was sick to try to stall the betrothal celebrations, but then, the king sent the physician in to treat hi
m.
While he talked about her brother’s symptoms and stubbornness, Lee lifted Ada off the floor. He sat on the thin mattress with her cradled in his lap.
“He’s getting bad, and it’s progressing too fast,” Phillip said. “He thinks it might have been a different strain than what’s infecting the people of Ferda. Apparently, Viktor was experimenting.”
Lee cursed and brushed a strand of hair from Ada’s cheek before wiping at her tears. He kissed the top of her head. “We’ll find the Heulwen or a cure. I promise, it will be all right.”
“It has to be,” she managed to get out. She couldn’t imagine a world in which her brother didn’t exist. He was her rock. Her family. Her best friend.
He’d raised her after their mother’s death and their father had disappeared into his work.
If he didn’t get better, that would make her Queen of Detmarya, and she didn’t know how to process that thought on top of everything else.
It wasn’t just that she didn’t want to live in a world without him.
She didn’t know if she could.
Shane dropped into a chair at his table. He’d made it to his room before the wheezing started up again. Carrying about his normal duties—conducting meetings with nobles and planning ways to spread supplies to neighboring villages—became more and more difficult. Phillip and Ada left days ago, and Gwyn spent most of her time caring for her father. Shane had never felt lonelier. Once in his room for the evening, he often sat in despair, wondering if this was how he’d truly spend his dwindling time.
A shuffling sound came from the corner of his room, and he turned to see Gwyn step out from behind the tapestry as if his thoughts conjured her. “You know you can just use the door, right? There’s no need to sneak around anymore.”
“And be seen visiting the king in the middle of the night? No thank you.” She walked over to him and immediately placed the back of her hand against his forehead. “How are you feeling?”
“Wonderful.” He smiled up at her, and she rolled her eyes.
