“Not for me.”
“Yes, for you.”
She pointed in the direction of the hall. “No one would think Damen was the best choice for me. Hell. I don’t think the man likes me. He never talks to me…”
“Don’t take that personally. He only talks to your mate.”
“I don’t want him. I want you.” Kali’s panic level seemed to be rising.
“Kali, calm down. I’d fight this, but I’ve run every scenario. There’s no other way.”
“Is this his way to get you to tell him about…” Kali was shaking.
“Kali, I told you I can’t tell him anything—”
“If it will make you stay, I’ll tell him everything today.”
“Nothing changes if I’m no longer your guardian. Your secrets are still mine to keep.” He would try one more time. “Tell him the truth. It’s time.”
She sat in a chair, covering her face, her voice barely audible. “No. He has too much on his plate. I can’t add to it. His human mate who so many want gone anyway, I am his weakness. He deserves better than I can ever be.”
“You are the light of his life.”
She seemed to calm for a minute. “You’re to throw the match?”
“I am.”
“And you’re okay with this?”
“If it keeps you safe…”
There was a sizzle in the villa today. Something happening. The mumbles at the breakfast table alluded to a shakeup in Leonidas’ inner group. Taking her tea with her, Paighton walked the hall to the library and froze as she heard a very adamant and upset Kali’s voice rise in pitch.
“I don’t want him. I want you,” Kali said in a panic and Paighton made to turn, not wanting to invade a moment between Leonidas and his mate.
“Kali, calm down. I’d fight this, but I’ve run every scenario. There’s no other way.” But it wasn’t Leonidas speaking, it was Jaison.
“Is this his way to get you to tell him about—” Kali demanded and ice ran down Paighton’s spine.
“Kali, I told you I can’t tell him anything…”
Kalista’s level of panic rose. “If it’ll make you stay. I’ll tell him everything today.”
“Nothing changes if I’m no longer your guardian. Your secrets are still mine to keep. Tell him the truth. It’s time.”
She inched toward the door, trying to hear what was going on, but they spoke in hushed tones almost lover-like and it all clicked in her brain. He hadn’t been putting her off sexually out of nobility. He was doing it because he loved another woman. They were having an affair right under everyone’s nose.
“And you’re okay with this?” Kalista demanded incredulous.
“If it keeps you safe…”
The tea cup smashed around her feet and a second later the doors opened. In a daze, she watched the dark liquid run over the grout between the tiles, like aquifers.
“Darling, you cut yourself.” His voice cut into her musing.
Numb, she let him move her inside while he cleaned up the broken shards. When Kalista moved to check the wound, she recoiled. “I don’t need your help.”
Confusion and hurt washed over the other woman’s face. Good, let her feel what Paighton felt. Betrayed and heartbroken. A second later, Leonidas entered and approached his bride who made an effort to plaster on a happy face no one would have believed. “There you are,” he said. I’ve been searching everywhere for you.”
“Here I am.” Though she tried, the mask fell.
“I get it, you’re mad. But if you would listen for a minute,” he pled.
“How long have you had this plan?” she demanded.
“Three weeks.”
“And you’re just now sharing it with me?”
“Like you shared your secrets with me?” Leonidas demanded as if for the first time, letting everyone see the effect her silence had on him.
“I told you, it’s nothing to concern yourself with.”
“You think he doesn’t worry because you tell him not to?” Jaison added, dropping the porcelain pieces into the trash can. “You don’t know him very well, then.”
“I’ll tell you,” Paighton said, completely done with the secrets. Once she said her piece she would leave and never look back. Even the thought had her struggling to breathe. As her parents had told her repeatedly, life wasn’t fair. She was an idiot to believe it was.
“You know?” Kali and Leonidas said in unison before looking to Jaison in shock.
He put his hands up. “She doesn’t know.”
“You mean I don’t know about you two being in love with each other, carrying on an affair right under Leonidas’ and everyone’s noses and using me as the cover?”
“What?” Jaison asked in horror.
Kali looked dumbstruck, but Leonidas threw his head back and laughed.
“What is so funny?”
“If there is one thing it can’t be, it’s that option.”
His ego knew no bounds. “And why is that?”
“Because, like you, she is demi-sexual. She is only turned on for her soul mate.” He smiled down at his mate. “She is my everything and I hope I am hers.”
“Leo.” She ran into his arms then turned to glance at Paighton. “It’s true.”
“Then what’s the big secret?”
“Kali.” Leonidas cupped her face and wiped a tear from her cheek. “Your pain is tearing me apart. I can feel it every moment. Do you think I don’t know you cry at night when you think I’m asleep?”
Jaison placed a hand on Kali’s shoulder. “You can tell him. He’s strong enough for both of you.”
Leo led her to a chair and knelt before her. When Paighton made a move to give them privacy, Jaison grabbed her wrist and anchored her to his side.
Kalista reached for her mate’s hands, gripping until they were white. “I lost two babies.”
Agony washed over the other man’s face, mixed with disbelief. “What, when?”
“One in February and one in April.”
Leonidas kissed the top of her head, pulling her into his embrace. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because you said you could only get me pregnant during November. And neither happened then. I feared you would think I’d cheated. Then the doctor said I might not be able to carry your baby to term. I’m already not what your people…”
He hugged her tighter against him, muffling anything else she might have said. “You stupid, stupid woman. They’re our people, and it’s you I need. I would give up everything, including my life for you. Babies would be a blessing, but if they don’t happen, then I can live with that. I cannot live without you. I don’t know how many times I have to say it, but I will. You are my sun, my light, my very being.”
Tears streamed down her face. “I don’t want to be a burden.”
Jaison must have decided they had heard enough, since he dragged her off then. Two people stopped and stepped out of his way. He didn’t say a word until they were behind the closed doors of a bedroom that held his scent. “Now it’s your turn to listen to me.”
“I thought.”
“I know what you thought. But how the hell could you think I was interested in Kali or vise versa. She’s like a baby sister to me, for god’s sake.”
“I’m sorry. I was jealous. I’ve never been jealous before, so I didn’t know how to handle it.”
“Take a seat.”
“So you can yell at me and make me feel worse than I already do?”
His shoulders relaxed on a sigh. “No, so I can explain.”
She let him lead her to the small sofa in the large room.
“We can’t cheat on our mates. Without you, I’m impotent. What you were hearing but didn’t understand is that I’ve been removed as Kali’s guardian. Damen, our head beta, is taking the position. Another family is set to challenge me for my position. It’ll be their best against me. They’ve spent all year learning my te
chniques and training to best me.”
“Then, don’t fight. If you aren’t even in the position, why fight?”
He curled his lip. “It’s a matter of honor. And they won’t know I’m no longer her guardian. But if their best fights me, he can’t challenge again this year. It gives us the upper hand. The other family has tried on numerous occasions to do bodily harm to our queen. There’s so much you do not know yet. You have to trust me.”
Shame and embarrassment washed over her. “I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions, but you won’t touch me. You barely kiss me. I continually throw myself at you, and you reject me.”
“I never rejected you.”
“You have at every turn. You might not have meant to, but you did all the same.”
“I won’t be making that mistake again,” he growled, pulling off his shirt.
“What are you saying?” she asked in a voice far huskier than she believed she could have. She stared at his bare chest, itching to touch him but fearful he would push her away yet again.
Next to his shirt landed his pants, socks, and shoes. “I’m saying we aren’t leaving this room until we’ve mated.”
“Oh, thank god.” She threw herself into his arms. “Though I burn for you, and this heat is building, my mind is clear. I want you. All of you.”
“You have all of me.” He worked her blouse over her head and made quick work of her bra. The hair on his chest tickled her nipples, making them hard nubs.
“Not yet, but I will.” She fought with her skirt and other clothes until she was as naked as he. Gripping her ass, he carried her to the bed.
“I’m going to go as slowly as I can. I want to make sure you’re with me every step of the way.” He left a trail of kisses from her jaw down her collarbone to her breast. “If the heat becomes too much, you need to tell me.”
“I don’t want another cold shower.”
“That isn’t how I plan to quench it this time.”
“Oh?” she asked, then her question turned into a long sigh as he took one nipple into his mouth and palmed the other breast.
“Do you want me to talk you through what I’m about to do?”
“What. No! I don’t know.” She arched her back, needing more of his touch, more of him. “Maybe.”
“First, I’m going to leave a trail of kisses from your perfect breasts to your hip. And then I’m going to lift one of your legs over my shoulder to allow me better access to you…”
“Never mind. Don’t tell me.” She covered her face with her hands to hide the blush.
“It’s not working. Your belly even blushes.” He chuckled, laying a kiss just above her belly button. “Do you want me to touch you, kiss you intimately?”
She nodded. When he didn’t do anything, she peeked between her fingers to see him staring back at her. “You want me to say it?”
“Oh, I need you to say it.”
“You know what I want.”
“Yes, but your words are important. They give purpose and permission to your actions.”
“And perhaps there is a little vindication in this because I’m uncomfortable as hell.”
“Never has a penance been so sweet.”
“Please touch me?”
He cupped her intimately between her thighs. “Just touch?”
“No, the other, too.”
He rolled onto his side, rested his head in his palm, and stared at her. “You’ll have to be more specific. There really are a great number of other things I would like to do to you, but I doubt you are prepared for that kind of kink quite yet.”
“Kink what?”
“I’ll get you a book,” he said as his thumb rolled over her sensitive clit. “So we’ll simply touch.”
She raised her hips, needing more but not sure what more was. He responded by placing his other hand on her stomach and forcing her to stay in place, creating an exquisite torture. “Jaison, please.”
“Please what?”
She fought his hand, believing if she could raise her hips, he would take care of her needs. “I don’t know.”
“Didn’t you read about what to expect?” Damn him, he was teasing her.
She lifted her head. “Of course I did, but other than telling me where your penis would go, it didn’t really help me.”
“Perhaps if you’d read the books I gave you, it would’ve helped.”
Dumbfounded, she stared at him as he fought not to laugh. Thinking of a comeback, she collapsed back on the pillow. At the same time, he kissed her intimately. His tongue caressed and circled her clit, and all thoughts left her. The heat built, but this time, it didn’t burn. He stroked it and her until the muscles within tightened. He eased a finger within her, massaging her insides, followed shortly by a second. Before she knew what was happening, her body shook, but instead of stopping, he increased the pressure.
The world exploded around her in bright starbursts. And as she came back to earth—because she really believed her body had gone airborne—he still didn’t stop. “I need you please,” she begged.
“Soon. I promise.” His warm breath against her thigh had her shivering. And as he built her up for a second orgasm, she gripped the sheet. As the tightening crashed over her, he came up her body, wrapped her legs around his waist, and impaled her. The air had been stripped from her body. The pleasure from a second before morphed into pain as her insides were ripped in two. She bit her lip and could hear him speaking to her but couldn’t make out a single word he said. Why the hell had she wanted this?
A single drop of sweat hit her cheek. Opening her eyes, she found him breathing hard. He had done nothing but put her needs about his own. Like a light bulb turning on, she knew he always would. She had so many questions, but his loyalty and protection wasn’t one of them. Through the pain, she moved her hips, gripping his biceps. The muscles contracted under her touch.
“Don’t until you’re ready,” he bit out between clenched teeth.
She took his words to mean he wouldn’t be able to hold back once he moved. She knew she had to hold on for dear life. They couldn’t stay in limbo. And logic said that discomfort, which she really couldn’t call pain anymore, would subside. If it didn’t, no one would do this again. So she lifted her head and took his lips. She kissed him with all the passion she had, trying to say without words she trusted him and needed him to take whatever pleasure he could from her body.
At first, he didn’t move, but she wasn’t about to give up. He needed to know she cared about him. No, she loved him. Pulling back, she blinked. Holy hell, she loved him. This time, she couldn’t breathe, not out of pain, but from the maddening rush of emotions coursing through her body.
Concern marred his face. She reached up to soothe the lines from his forehead. “I love you, Jaison.”
“Oh, thank the gods.” He took her mouth, and she prepared for the onslaught, but what she experienced instead was a gentle, skilled lover who, though he might have been a bit enthusiastic, took the time to make sure she stayed with him the whole way. When he finally took his pleasure, it was only after she crested one more time. He collapsed next to her, pulling her against his body. “Are you all right?”
“I’m sore in places I didn’t know could be sore.”
“It gets easier, I promise.”
“I imagine it does.” She gnawed her lips. “Perhaps reading your books might be useful for research purposes.”
“Whatever you want.” He moved to get up, but she stopped him. “Don’t leave.”
“Only as far as the bathroom to turn on the shower. I’ll be back to get you in a second.” He kissed her nose. Only then did she look down and see blood drying on his thighs. She had expected it, but not so much. By the time he came back in, she had stripped the bedding. “Why are you up?”
“I wanted to help.”
“You are supposed to be so warn out you can’t lift your head off the pillow.”
“Is that
what your books say?”
“Yes.”
“Sorry to disappoint. I feel more energized than I have my entire life. You are like an energy drink.”
“Nothing about you has been what I expected. Not sure why I’m surprised now.” He took her hand and led her into the en suite and to the large shower with eight showerheads.
“Why would anyone need so many showerheads?”
“I’ll show you.”
She stepped in and sighed. This was heaven and as his arms wrapped around her and he brought her in for a kiss, she knew nothing could be so good as right now.
They didn’t leave the room for the rest of the day. The only time they left the bed was to eat the food that someone left at their door. Their room. She loved the sound of that. “Is it too soon to ask if I can move into this room?”
He looked over his morning coffee and smiled. “I would be more upset if you didn’t.”
“Does this mean I can stay on the island for the family reunion?”
“We haven’t bonded yet. Until we do, I have to consult with Leonidas, but I can’t see there being an issue.”
“What is the difference between mating and bonding?”
“Mating is making love, bonding is making love and getting married all rolled up into one.”
“Can we do that tonight?”
“Are you sure you’re ready?”
“You’re the only one I will feel like this with. So, what is there to think about?”
“A great deal, actually.” He eased back into his chair. He wore only sweat pants; she had donned one of his T-shirts. “There is no going back. Once we are bonded, we are married, for a lack of better word. There is no out clause, and long distances can be hard. You saw Kalista nearly jump off the boat to get to Leonidas. It wasn’t because she was being clumsy. It was that he pulled her to get to him. Their souls demanded connection immediately.”
“I’m okay with all that. So let’s do it, if you want to?”
“Want to? It’s the only thing I desire, but we’ve to wait.”
“Why? Do you have to ask permission for everything? Be daring. Take a walk on the wild side.”
Prowling for His Mate Page 8
