‘Winklepuff likes ham and pee-ing,’ is what comes out of my mouth. Shit. Why did I say that?
‘Hey, just like me!’ Olive cuts in cheerfully, which makes everyone laugh.
My eyes meet Gary’s again and up close they’re even darker and sexier and cleverer than I would ever have thought. They do not, however, look like the eyes of someone who believes I am his soulmate. They look polite and distanced and more than a little weary. I want to take his hand and tell him that things are going to be just fine.
Okay. Get a grip Nora. Gary is deliriously happy with Tori Gould. You have a crush. He is engaged. However much you didn’t intend to be his stalker you kind of are his stalker. You almost got arrested. Twice. You could get arrested again if he figures out who you are. Be cool. Please, for the love of god, BE COOL.
‘I didn’t know this place was dog-friendly,’ Gary muses, scratching behind Winklepuff’s ear. ‘I would have brought my girl.’
‘That’s no way to talk about Tori,’ Seth quips daftly, although Gary seems to prickle a bit at the comment.
I feel a sharp surge of relief that Gary did not bring Janet today – imagine if Winklepuff, reunited with his one true love, got over-amorous again? That would have been too horrifying to contemplate.
I take a sip of my Bloody Mary, and then another one.
And then another one.
‘Are you an actress?’ Gary asks, a slight frown creasing his forehead. ‘You look kinda familiar.’
‘Um, no, not at all,’ I say, finding it hard to meet his eyes. ‘Just, uh, a virtual assistant from Sheffield. And a singer songwriter, well, amateur.’
Gary nods and smiles and my heart flips over. I can’t help but smile back. I try my very best to keep it a normal, polite smile and not a mooning, drooling grin. I’m not sure I manage it.
‘You should probably put your sunglasses back on,’ Seth says, nudging Gary with his elbow. ‘He’s got a stalker,’ he tells me, pulling a faux-terrified face. ‘His bodyguard goes everywhere with him now and, when he’s not with him, he insists Gary wears a baseball cap and sunglasses. I’m doing the same in solidarity, so now, of course, we look like a pair of—’
‘Dickheads?’ I volunteer, before my brain can reach my mouth.
Olive and Seth laugh out loud.
‘I like her,’ Olive announces.
Gary doesn’t laugh but his eyes glint with curiosity. Shit. Is he remembering my face?
‘A stalker?’ I say in a surprised voice as if it is the most bonkers, out-of-the blue thing that could ever happen. ‘Blimey! Gosh!’
‘Yep,’ Olive says. ‘It’s properly weird.’
‘Gary found her glasses and he kept them,’ Seth adds. ‘That’s the weirdest thing.’
He has my glasses? Why? Is he collecting evidence for the police? Shit. I need my glasses back! Putting contacts in wind-attacked eyes cannot be ophthalmologically wise.
Gary chuckles. ‘I dropped them off at the theatre this morning.’
It is very difficult to display any emotion other than polite interest at this news.
‘They found a butter knife at the movie lot when they caught her there,’ Seth continues. ‘I mean, a butter knife! I’d love to know what she was intending to do with it.’
‘She wanted to butter you up, obviously,’ Olive says.
‘And he didn’t even give her a chance,’ Seth laughs. ‘How dairy!’
I swiftly realise that they’re talking about the knife I took to the lot, the one I wanted to use to make the cheese toastie for Gary, which, now I think about it, was a really stupid, bonkers idea. My god. What is wrong with me? I splutter so much that I almost spit out my Bloody Mary.
‘Hey,’ Gary says, leaning over and patting me firmly on the back. ‘You okay there?’
I nod quickly and catch my breath. He leaves his hand on my back for a moment and my whole body switches on. Like I’ve been asleep my whole life and someone just plugged me in. Oh wow. I swallow hard and peek up at Gary, because surely, surely, he feels that too? But his face is just concerned about my spluttering fit. Of course. Because I have a stupid crush and he is not my soulmate.
‘I’m okay now. Thanks,’ I say with an embarrassed smile.
Gary narrows his eyes at me for a moment and then removes his hand from my back. He recoils a little. Is he repulsed by me?
I clear my throat again and take a sip of water from the filled glasses on the table. I should go. I should go before I make this whole embarrassing trip even worse. This is exactly why Imogene wanted me to get a flight today. I can’t help but end up embroiled in shit like this.
I go to stand up, but my body doesn’t want to move. It just sits there. And then it says, ‘I… I read somewhere that you just got engaged? Congratulations!’
Why am I still talking to him? I need to leave. But I don’t want to leave. Not ever.
‘I am,’ he says with a big toothy smile. ‘And thanks. I’m really looking forward to it.’
I notice an odd look pass between Olive and Seth. Gary also catches the look and rolls his eyes. What is that about?
‘So what are you in LA for, Nora?’ Olive asks. ‘Do you like it? Don’t you think it’s too hot?’ She lifts her wild curls up from her neck and once more tries and fails to secure them in a scrunchy. ‘Should have brought Anders with us,’ she mutters to herself.
‘Anders?’ I ask.
‘My best friend back in NY. He’s a hairstylist. He’d have found a way to control these bad boys, but the heat is making then expand. They breed like Gremlins.’
I laugh, seeing exactly why she works on a comedy TV show. Seth is gazing at her with admiration, like he sees it too.
‘I’m in LA to visit a friend,’ I tell them, sidestepping the truth, of course. ‘She’s helping me to rediscover the joy in my life.’
‘How’s that working out?’ Gary asks.
I shrug one shoulder and try to hold myself together. My voice comes out a little shaky. ‘Well, one pretty big part of the plan fell through, but I’ve been writing songs again, which I’d not done in a couple of years. I tried rollerblading and even though the Santa Ana winds blew sand into my eyes and I almost broke my neck, I was pleased I tried it. Oh, and I’ve been catching the LA sunrises and swimming in the ocean – that’s pretty damn magical.’
‘It really is,’ Gary murmurs, smiling almost to himself.
‘I prefer a nice clean, safe pool,’ Olive declares. ‘The wind is mad here. It’s scary out there!’
‘Fish creep me out,’ Seth adds.
‘Me too,’ I say. ‘But Kennedy – that’s my friend – forced me out there and the water here is so warm and the fish pretty much stay out of your way. If you swim on your back when the sky is painted with pink and purple streaks and there’s no one else around and you just look up and let the water hold you, it’s like being in some sort of lucid dream. It’s heavenly. Maybe the nicest thing I’ve ever done.’
I notice the three of them looking at me oddly. Shit, I garbled a bit then.
‘I’m sorry. No one asked for a monologue, ha ha! Too much Bloody Mary!’
Gary stands up from the chair quickly. ‘We should go,’ he says curtly. ‘I have an appointment. And John Alan is coming by to do another house safety check.’
A house safety check? I’ve really upended things for him. Shame creeps up my neck. I am an idiot.
Olive rolls her eyes slightly. ‘Blummin’ John Alan. I wish he’d bugger off.’
Gary nods. ‘Agreed, and John Alan is such a dumb name. I don’t know why, but it kinda bugs me.’
I laugh out loud. ‘Yes! That’s what I—’ I cut myself off sharpish, because I was about to say ‘That’s what I thought!’ which would reveal me to have some form of intel on John Alan.
Gary, Olive and Seth look at me curiously.
‘What were you going to say?’ Seth asks. ‘That’s what you…?’
‘What?… Uh… that’s what I… will call my… first-born son. It�
�s a good name. John Alan.’
Nora, you dick. Why are you the way you are?
Olive and Seth laugh weakly, both of them holding their hands out to me to shake, saying that it was lovely to meet me. Olive pulls me into a warm hug and tells me it was brilliant to hear another northern voice.
I wait for Gary to also hold out his hand for me to shake. But he barely even looks at me, just gives a half-hearted wave before leaving and heading to the counter to pay the bill and head off back to a glamorous life that could never include someone like me.
Then, with Olive and Seth in his wake, Gary leaves the café and doesn’t look back.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Gary
Hey,
I’m sitting in the waiting room at Ira’s clinic and I needed to get this out, so I’m writing it in my Notes app.
I just had the weirdest brunch. Like truly, confusingly strange. I was hanging out with Seth and Olive at this café in Marina Del Ray and Olive brought this round-faced dark-haired British woman out from the bathroom. She was called Nora and Olive thought it would be nice for her to have a drink with us for some reason. When I saw her face, my heart started thumping really hard. What the fuck? I thought I was having some bizarre anxiety attack, but, well, it didn’t feel awful like anxiety usually does. It felt, I dunno, exciting. Like the heart pounding I get when I’m surfing.
I managed to keep myself together for the majority of the conversation, but then this woman had a coughing fit, so I patted her back to help her. And, fuck, when I touched her… Maybe it was one of those electric shock things that sometimes happen? But I felt this current run through me and this warm desperation in my chest. Like I never wanted to take my hand away. The whole room went quiet and I just wanted to grab her hand, take her away from everyone else and hold her, kiss her, fuck her. I had to do some very good acting to keep my cool and not humiliate myself or just pull this stranger’s body into mine. What the fuck, Gary?
And her face, my god. Her face was so open and bright and… familiar. Her lips were red and plump and the way she scraped her front teeth over them after she had spoken… Her eyes were kind of painful-looking actually, she said she’d gotten sand in them somehow? But they were big and warm and thoughtful, a little like a cow’s eyes, but, you know… not. Maybe like a sexy cow. What am I even saying? What is wrong with me? Is this a reaction to the whole sudden Tori engagement? I’m feeling overly attracted to strangers now? First the stalker and now this random brit?
I had to get out of the café before I said or did something completely creepy and inappropriate like kiss a total stranger. Jeez, I hope Ira has some intel into why I just felt so completely irrational in the presence of someone I’ve never met before and will never meet again. Jesus Christ.
On the drive home, Olive and Seth asked why I was being so quiet. Seth reiterated that I didn’t have to marry Tori if I didn’t want to. But that’s the thing. I do want to. I mean, I would have preferred to give it a few more years, but it’s happened how it’s happened and it’s a waste of time to keep on feeling pissed off about it, especially when I’m in the middle of a shoot. Tori is a great girlfriend. Solid and supportive and beautiful and, like Aileen says, we’re a perfect match. I would never, ever want to hurt her. I promised her I never would. I owe her absolutely everything. We may not fall over ourselves in laughing fits all the time like Seth and Olive or stay up late chatting endlessly into the night, but there’s respect and rapport and partnership. There’s attraction and ease and steadiness. That’s good. That’s enough. And I love her. I do.
Anyway, three amazing things that happened today.
Her face
Her voice
Her
Cut it out, Gary. You’re just having a strange few days and feeling a whole lotta fucking pressure. You read way too much Harcourt Royals last night and it’s clearly made you mushy. It’s not like you’ll ever see this woman again anyway. She doesn’t even live in this country.
She wasn’t even your type, you dumb dork.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Nora
After getting a car to Grauman’s Chinese Theatre to pick up my glasses, I get dropped off about half a mile from Kennedy’s house so that Winklepuff and I can walk the rest of the way back. I’m in a complete daze, my emotions more wayward than they have ever been. I’m aching with longing after being up close to Gary, relieved that he didn’t seem to recognise me and that I didn’t completely lose my shit, perturbed by the coincidence of actually running into him, gutted that he clearly didn’t feel any sort of connection with me and embarrassed that I ever thought he would. I mean, look at me. I catch sight of myself in the reflective surface of a nearby building. My face looks pale, and my air-dried hair looks totally messy. Plus, my eyes are all squinty and gammy.
The wind blasts my hair into my face as if to mock me. I spit it out of my mouth and ask the wind why it won’t just bugger off. That’s one thing I will not miss about this place – these stupid devil winds.
I think of Gary’s tall, relaxed stature, and that undeniable, enigmatic charisma that’s even more blinding in real life. Of course he isn’t attracted to me. I almost laugh to myself. It seems so ridiculous that I thought he might be. Shit. I really am as delusional as Imogene said I was. The laugh turns into a half sob and I shake my head at my own reflection.
‘You know there are people in there who can see you?’
I turn around to find a teenage girl, watching me watch my own reflection in the mirrored window.
‘What?’
‘Yeah,’ she says, tapping on her phone as she speaks. ‘It looks like a mirror from the outside, but inside it’s an office full of people. They’re probably laughing at you. I used to intern there and we found it hilarious, the faces people pull when they’re looking at their own reflection.’
Shit. Well, that’s embarrassing. It’s just one thing after the other at this point.
‘Oh, thanks for that,’ I say to the girl, before sticking my tongue out at the window and stalking away with Winklepuff.
I’m so stuck in my own head, feeling absolutely stunned about what has just happened, replaying the moment that Gary touched my back, that I barely realise I’ve already reached Kennedy’s house. I notice that Brandon is sitting on the front porch, typing speedily into his laptop. Shit. Fuck. With everything that’s happened this morning, I almost forgot that last night I had drunken sex with Brandon. I get a memory of him poking my belly, kissing my neck, turning me over onto all fours and pulling on my hair.
Fuck. I stop short, not sure what to do. I really don’t want to talk to him right now in the cold and sober light of day. I wouldn’t even know what to say to him… Will he want to have sex again? Will he want to not have sex again? I’m not sure how I feel about either of those possibilities. My brain is already jumbled enough having just had brunch with Gary Montgomery.
I’m pondering whether I should just leg it back down the street when Brandon must sense me staring, because he looks up and gives me a wide, knowing grin. I’m about to reluctantly head over to him when a car beeps its horn behind me. I spin around to find Kennedy in her car, the convertible top down, ‘Mmm Bop’ by Hanson blasting conspicuously out of the speakers.
‘Hey, girl!’ she yells, dipping her sunglasses down her nose. ‘Hop in. Let’s go get some dairy-free ice cream!’
‘What? Now? What about Winklepuff? Him too?’
‘Of course. Come on. Time’s a wastin’!’
I shrug at Brandon and, glad to have a ready-made excuse to put off talking to him, I scoop Winklepuff up and climb into the car.
I look over at Kennedy and stifle a giggle. Her hair is big, stiff and curled under at the ends and she has so much thick make-up on she looks like she’s just about to enter a beauty pageant. She’s wearing a stiff white blouse and a tight navy blue skirt. Her high heels are kicked off on the car floor in front of me and she’s driving in a pair of raggedy white sneakers.
&nb
sp; ‘My audition was amazing!’ she yells over the music before I can ask her where we’re going.
‘That’s bloody brilliant,’ I reply, feeling guilty that the world’s most unexpected brunch means I had also forgotten about Kennedy’s big anchor interview. ‘Tell me stuff! Do you think you got it?’
Kennedy nods once as she turns the corner, heading towards the motorway. ‘It went super well. They loved my story and, you know, I gave it my all. I’m just glad it’s done, to be honest. Maybe my mom will stop texting me every second to make sure my tone of voice is exactly the right mix of warm and smart without being stuck up or to make sure I’m wearing enough mascara so my eyes “pop” on the screen.’
I grin at Kennedy’s heavily mascaraed spider lashes. ‘Definitely enough mascara.’
‘Right? I hate wearing all this junk on my face. But Mom’s right. It does make my eyes pop.’ Kennedy sighs. ‘Erin’s auditioning this afternoon, so I should know pretty soon whether I got it or not.’
‘I saw Erin this morning,’ I say tentatively… ‘dressed in one of your shirts… I thought you were working last night?’
Kennedy grins, a cheeky glint in her eyes. ‘I was working! Erin showed up because I said no to going for a drink with her. She said she came by to wish me luck.’
‘Oh?’
‘She wished me luck. And then we fucked, obviously.’
‘Kennedy! I thought you hated her!’
She rolls her eyes. ‘I do. She’s the worst. But she’s also so very, very hot.’
‘Are you sure she wasn’t trying to psych you out? Distract you from your work?’ I say, thinking back to Erin’s odd behaviour this morning.
Kennedy shrugs as we slow to a crawl on the traffic-packed road. ‘Probably. But she was wearing this flippy red Alaïa dress and I’d had a glass of wine with my dinner and that movie was on TV – 500 Days of Summer. Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt were in it, so I was already feeling frisky when she showed up. And, you know… I got carried away.’
He Will Be Mine: The brand new laugh out loud page turner! Page 21
