by JH Terry
Book III: Gordana at Last
XXIII: Awake and Asleep
“I am here to see Thovian,” said Etlen to the guard.
There were two men like statues at the doors. The statues were enchanted to guard Thovian’s bed chamber. Each of the Titan rooms had its own guard whose allegiance was to their personal Titan. For what seemed like years Thovian and Etlen had slept in different rooms. Tired of his infidelities Etlen had changed her quarters. However, it seemed the separate sleeping situation only drove Thovian deeper into his lustful nature.
“He is not to be disturbed at this time, Etlen,” said the guard.
“I am here because he sent for me.”
“Oh,” said the guard. “He is now indisposed and…”
As the guard said this giggled and muffled voices were heard within the room. Etlen could ascertain the voice of Thovian and at least two humans. Etlen started to feel enraged at Thovian and his callous nature. “He is so bold to bring them here. A place of serenity and holiness. Do not worry guard, I will deter you no longer.”
Abruptly Etlen left the guard and walked back to her chamber. Her heart seethed with anger. What did she expect? No matter how civilized she acted with him he would find a way to humiliate her. As she walked into her chamber the guards opened the doors and said, “Good Evening Etlen.” However she was so consumed with her anger she ignored them. With a swish of her hand the doors closed. Infuriated, she rushed to her vanity and threw all of its items to the floor. They loudly crashed against the marble. In anger she looked at the items. She grabbed them and threw them at the vanity mirror. She looked at her broken distorted image and felt even angrier. Rushing to the windows she ripped the lace curtains from their rods and threw them onto the floors. Seeing the curtains on the floor she knelt down and began to rip them until they were in shreds. As she looked onto the destruction she immediately felt a sense of embarrassment and guilt. She began to cry, her head bowed down in disgrace. Her hands laid at her side with her knuckles against the marble. Her tears descended from her eyes onto her cheeks and fell onto the marble floor. As she cried she descended through the floor, through the rock below to the molten lava core. She hardly noticed her setting as she remembered times from before. The first time she met Thovian, the time they declared their love, marriage, the anger, arguments, and dissolution of their marriage. As she lay in the molten lava she wished to have her essence destroyed in its intense heat. The more she reflected over the past, the greater this wish resonated in her mind. So focused was she on her thoughts that she scarcely noticed the slowly enveloping warmth within her heart. Soon she was enrobed in its peace. She instantly realized it was the Infinity Titan who was comforting her. Beyond her control she was lifting back up from the molten lava, through a whole that opened into the depths of the ocean. She ascended in a swirl up from the abyss into the realm of aquatic life. A porpoise caught her hand and carried her along the sea. She passed by schools of fish, whales, seals and dolphins. Her soul felt light as passed by these creatures.
“But of course,” said Etlen with a smile. “My self-centered pain is minuscule against the great majesty of life.”
She let go of the porpoise and soared out of the water. She flew on top of the ocean, dipping her fingers ever so slightly against surface breaking its uniformity sporadically. From the water she flew onto the land. She passed through forests, deserts, mountains, valleys, fields of flowers, and harvests. She passed by all sorts of creatures - an observer to the Infinity Titan’s greatest achievement. After looping around several times she flew up into the air. Her body was positioned against the setting sun as she looked onto the world below. Her robes flowed against the sunshine, the beams shining against her. As she looked at it all she felt one with it but strangely separated as an observer. It was then that she felt the dread set back into her thoughts. The pain of shone itself yet again and she began to feel depressed. Would this ever stop? In desperation she screamed with all of her might into the atmosphere. Wishing to flee her state Etlen flew up through the atmosphere into space. Where or how far she flew she did not know, but she continued forward at top speed. She wanted the universe to rip her to shreds to rid her of her existence. Within moments she disintegrated into dust and became part of the stars of the universe.
“Etlen?” asked a voice.
Etlen looked up to see that she was in her room sitting on the bed. Looking around she saw that nothing had been broken and that Tabitine and Merolus were in her room.
“What is it?” asked Etlen as she wiped her eyes. Strangely they were already dry.
“Etlen, it is Thovian,” said Merolus in a grave voice.
Etlen looked to them both surprised. They both looked downcast. “What is it?” asked Etlen in concern.
“He is dead to the world.”
Etlen rose from the bed. “What?”
“Yes. We don’t know how or why but he was just noticed in his state moments ago.”
Etlen looked outside to see it was dawn. A tear streamed down her eye, which she quickly wiped out of view from either Merolus or Tabitine. “Does everyone already know?”
“Yes. He was found by Heldan.”
Etlen stood up in anger. “How was he found by Heldan? Do we know it was not him who did this?”
Tabitine cleared her throat, “The guards said that Thovian was awake and moving until midnight, but afterwards he was strangely silent. When Heldan found him he was already in his state. The guards say that saw no one enter the room.”
“The guards,” said Etlen with disgust. “I would not be surprised if they were lying.”
“It could have been anyone Etlen.” said Tabitine with sorrow. “The guards said that you visited Thovian last night.”
“Yes, but he was indisposed with female company so I left.”
“Oh,” said Merolus with a sigh of relief. “Well then it was not you.”
Etlen looked to him shocked. “Of course not. No matter the troubles between Thovian and myself, I never would have done that to him.”
“Then we will find the bastard who did this to him. Do you want to see him?”
“Of course.”
Etlen, Merolus and Tabitine left the room into the hallway. As they walked towards Thovian’s room they noticed the other Titans were there. Heldan and Jacald were speaking in hushed voices as Jolina stood by Thovian’s side. When Heldan and Jacald eyed Etlen they stopped speaking and walked up to her.
“Happy?” asked Heldan in anger to Etlen. “You were so angry that you just had to get your revenge. You sadistic..”
“How dare you?” asked Merolus in anger. “Etlen had nothing to do with what happened to Thovian.”
“Are you so sure?” asked Heldan. “She was in his room last night.”
“No I was not,” said Etlen. “I asked the guard who said that he was indisposed. Then I left.”
“Is this true?” asked Heldan of the guards. Both guards shook their heads in disagreement.
“Etlen did come when Thovian was with female company, however she returned later,” said the guards as they shone a hologram screen showing Etlen at the door. She wore a heavy black cloak with her eyes averted. “She went into Thovian’s room for an extended period of time and then left back towards her chamber.”
Merolus and Tabitine looked to Etlen in horror. “No, it is not true,” said Etlen. “I have been in my room the entire time. I was meditating with the Infinity Titan. It knows that I have done no wrong.”
“Infinity Titan,” said Jacald in a sarcastic tone. “There is irrefutable truth that you were here last night. The guards saw you.”
Merolus looked to Etlen unsure. “Merolus, in your heart you know me by my very nature and without me saying know the truth.”
Merolus looked her in the eyes and she knew that he knew her innocence. “Always, sister.”
“Well I’m not so easily persuaded,” said Heldan with a s
narl. “You harmed Thovian. We will make sure you pay for what you have done.” Heldan unsheathed his sword and lunged towards Etlen. Within seconds Merolus’ sword clanged against Heldan’s.
“What of the Illustrious Code?” screamed Tabitine.
“There is no code when there are traitors in our midst,” sneered Heldan.
Etlen looked from Heldan to Jacald and knew that there was no fair jury to be had with them. Suddenly to her side there appeared ten other Etlens with swords drawn. Etlen stepped back as the other Etlens stepped forward shielding her from view. Tabitine turned around in horror to see the multiple Etlens. The Etlens passed by her and started to fight Heldan and Jacald. Tabitine and Merolus were grabbed ahold of by Etlen. Suddenly in a flurry they were transported away in a rush. Within moments they reached a land with heavy flurries of snow and freezing temperatures. It was light out yet the landscape mountainous and desolate.
“Where are we?” asked Merolus.
“Mount Eli,” said Etlen in a grave voice. As she looked the bleak landscape she could not help but wonder where was Elziwarry.
