do you know much about Pixies, boy?”
“I do not.”
“Ah… then you will not know the devastating secrets our elders keep from us young Pixies…”
“Where did you get these marks?” My Father asked about three years after I had made the scars on my wrists. He had seen them while I was practicing some Anima and grabbed my wrists. The old man actually had the gumption to look concerned.
“Just a sparring incident,” I lied coolly.
He let go and paced around me for a bit, thinking. “You are fifteen?”
“Yes,” I veiled my annoyance. It was about the third time this week he had asked me.
“Then you will take my place soon…” He scratched his chin. “You must know everything there is to know about us. Come this way.”
He led us to the palace, which overlooked the rest of our tiny colony. At the highest perch on a balcony, he clasped his hands behind his back and looked out on the village. He gave me a sidelong glance. “Did you ever think…” He began thoughtfully. “That there might be things much bigger than us out there?”
“You mean like beetles?” I asked, trying to see where he could be going with this.
“No, I mean like… you know that bell we found a little while ago? The one that you had no idea what it was for?”
“The thing that made those strange noises? Yes, I remember, it was gigantic, and I wondered what sort of creature could have used it.”
“The creature that used it was a Human,” he was getting down to serious business now, but I still did not comprehend.
“Human…?”
“Or an Elf. Not likely a Dwarf.” he rambled. “These are large beings. So large, all we can ever see of them are their shoes.”
I thought he was joking, even though the old man was never for joking. “You pick now of all times to joke with me?” I asked solemnly.
He looked me right in the eye. He had never looked more serious or menacing. “This is real, Keenan,”
I still chose not to believe it. Really, I thought he was doing some sort of elaborate joke to play with my mind. But as he explained, my world was turned upside-down.
“Do you remember that earthquake we had?” He asked. “The one that shook our colony so badly that the house came apart?”
“Yes…”
“That was a Human. A Human who was knocked down right next to our colony in a fight. And…” He faltered, wondering if he should tell me this final piece of information. “You of course remember when the sky rained red rain?”
My mouth opened in confusion and fear. I didn’t know what he was trying to tell me, and I wasn’t sure I even wanted to know.
“That was blood. Human blood. There must have been a slight scuffle between humans nearby.”
My head went spinning. The explanation fit perfectly. “What?”
“I know it’s a lot to take in…”
I backed away. “Gods… we’re so tiny we can be stepped on! You… you lied to me!”
“Now see here…”
I felt like crying. With fear or with indignation, I didn’t know. I looked up at the sky, at the trees. My pupils shrank. I was tiny! Absolutely tiny! A human could come by and stomp on me any moment! If the wind was strong enough, I could get blown away! If there were a real earthquake, we could all die! After years of emotionlessness, my stoic façade was breaking down-I was crumbling.
“Oh, no…” I cried, clutching my head and covering my eyes. “I am nothing.”
“That’s not true; you are a very important figure…” He claimed, “Our people will look to you for leadership…”
“Our people have no idea they are pint-sized!” My world had never felt so small in my life, and just then, there was no one more villainous in the world than the man who had kept me ignorant about my own small existence.
No matter how he might justify it, it was wrong.
“You can imagine my shock. That was when I really started to hate that old man. Can you imagine waking up and seeing the world in the same way you always did, and finding out that what you know is not how things are at all? I no longer felt safe.” I explained.
The boy was confused. “You did not know you were tiny?” He was still trying to get past that part. Silly thing.
“No.”
“So that’s why you left?” He wanted to confirm.
I shook my head. “No… I was frightened when I found out, but at that point there was only one thing I wanted; to feel normal and secure again. I wanted to forget Father had ever said anything about being tiny. I went about my daily business for about another year. I did my best to avoid Father. Indeed; I had trouble even looking at the old man. I thought he was a despicable wretch.”
“Then why leave?” He asked.
“I didn’t even know I could leave. Until Father did the one decent thing I was ever grateful to him for. He told me the truth…”
I was leaning over the railing atop our house alone. The wind was cold and biting at my ankles. I leaned my cheek upon my crossed arms and couldn’t think of anything but what I was. It was funny, to think a small detail could impact your life so much. Many people might not be bothered at all.
Nothing had changed, really. I was the same, and the people around me were the same… yet everything was different. Being small changed everything for me. But, it wasn’t the fact that I could be killed so easily that bothered , me anymore.
It was the fact that there was a world much bigger, more important, and more mysterious than my own. I never felt more insignificant.
And then Father walked up. He casually leaned over the railing alongside me. Not a word passed between us for a whole minute; then finally he said, “you have not been yourself for the past year. You’ve been purposefully avoiding me, you hardly say anything, and you will not practice your Anima.”
I glanced at him. And then I turned back to surveying the landscape in front of me. “You should not have lied to me. And… you should not have forced me to sit there day after day desperately trying to conjure up magic in front of those people. I was so embarrassed… you always made a public show of my failure.”
He tried to come up with a pithy comeback, but, I think for once in his life, he realized he was in the wrong. He glanced at my wrists, which I pulled back into my sleeves. He realized the truth of where the scars had come from, I think, because he had never looked guiltier.
“I want to tell you something,” he said. “There is a way, if you wish, to make you large. Large as a human.”
My interest was piqued. My spirits lifted, but I did not let them lift over much. Frankly, I didn’t trust the old bag.
“This is a secret passed on to every Pixie prince. However, once you become large, you cannot become small again. Choose well, and whatever you may choose, I will not argue.” He walked off.
I leaned a cheek on my hand thoughtfully. The old man sure wasn’t a big help. He acted like he was doing me a favor. It was a big decision to make. One thing for sure; if I stayed here, I already knew how I was going to live my life.
But out there, as large as a human… there were things I would never know or be a part of as a tiny pixie. It would drive me crazy, I knew, knowing these things were out there and being too small to ever see them.
I would feel bad about leaving my people. I would be a terrible leader, as I knew little of politics and cared even less about them, but I wondered if it might be more terrible to leave them with no leader. Father probably had a backup leader in case I left anyway, so it would probably be okay.
Throwing caution to the wind, I decided I wanted to leave.
Nothing in the world was more exciting to me than things that were not like myself.
“So, you left. Just like that?” The Order boy said doubtfully.
“I’d hardly say, ‘just like that’. I’ll have you know I spent a week tossing and turning in bed
, desperately trying to make up my mind.”
“But you hated your Father. Why didn’t you just leave immediately?” He wondered in his stoic, serious way.
“Things aren’t that simple. Achieng was my home for sixteen years, and if I took this deal, I would never see it again. It’s true, I hated that old bag, but I love Achieng through and through.” I lowered my eyes. “I still miss it. Isn’t it odd? I am one-thousand years old, I have not seen my home since I was sixteen, but I still have dreams about it.” I shook my head and laughed bitterly. “I don’t even know if the village still stands.”
He was silent, and then said, “Why don’t you check?”
“I can’t check.” I said quietly. “I couldn’t bear it if it were gone. And it’s too small to see..”
Mercifully, he decided to plough on. “So you left. Which brings me to my next question. Why do you not believe?”
“Ah. That. Well, to be honest, at first, I had no idea your God even existed. We Pixies have our own Gods, we are not monotheistic. But when I learned of your faith, I did convert to it for quite some time in my life. There was a life-changing moment, you see.”
“You must not form attachments very well, Mr. Aled. You left your village so easily, decided you hated your father so easily, and converted to a different faith and promptly decided that faith wasn’t for you so easily.” He said, anger covering his tone.
“Listen to my story, please, before you judge me.” I said impatiently.
“Proceed.” he leaned back and crossed his arms.
“Thank you. Now, what happened was, my father, with his powerful magic, turned me large. That
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