by Dana Burkey
“If you want to, you can watch me do my makeup. It might help you learn how to do it so you can give it a try next time,” Corral suggested.
Knowing there was little else to do that didn’t involve allowing more people to see my new look, I took a seat back in the chair the girls had dragged in from the open area of the gym and watched them get to work. It was a crazy display of product after product, but in no time at all they looked just like I did. Well, just like me, only a lot more confident and natural. As they packed up their supplies and handed me back the makeup bag Nicole had given me, we walked into the gym and almost right into Connor.
“Max?” He asked after apologizing and then giving me a once over. “Wow. You look so different.”
“Yeah,” I agreed as Lexi and Corral walked over to put their things away. “I feel a little like a clown wearing all this makeup.”
“Well you don’t look like a clown,” he assured me. “You look really nice. And you’re going to do great out there today.”
“Fingers crossed,” I said with a long exhale, not sure if I was ready for performing just yet thanks to the added stress of looking so done up.
“Hey,” Connor said while taking my free hand to get my attention. When I finally looked up at him he continued. “You are one of the best cheerleaders I have ever met, and considering how new to this you are, that means something. I know the makeup and hair and glitter and everything can be a lot, but it’s the only thing you didn’t have until now.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, not sure I understood what he was saying.
“There are some people in this gym that still don’t think you belong here,” he continued, making me immediately think of Leanne. “But now you aren’t just some girl that showed up and can do the same skills and stunts as other people. Now you look the part too. You’re amazing and beautiful without all of this, but with it you let everyone else see what I noticed the second I met you. You are as much of a part of this gym as anyone who has been here for years.”
“Do you really mean all that?” I asked, a little shocked by his words.
“Absolutely,” he said with a squeeze of my hand. “You’re going to be unstoppable today.”
With a smile, Connor turned and walked off, leaving me to stand there and think about what he had just said. Belonging to the gym wasn’t something I even wanted a few days ago, but here I was, loving that he told me I fit in so completely. Before I could let it all sink in, TJ announced to everyone still getting ready that the doors would open for family and friends in just five minutes. That was all it took to get me into gear.
After running around to get my gym bag placed in the office as we were all instructed to do, I grabbed a handful of programs and found an open spot to stand in. We were all told to welcome visitors and lead them to the chairs, but it was clear that people were just there to welcome their friends and people there to see them. I stood in the open space that was cleared for the chairs and floor seating and waited. Finally, after I was certain almost every seat in the place was claimed, I saw my dad walk into the gym. Rushing to him, I pulled up short, noticing his shirt.
“What are you wearing?” I asked, my mouth actually hanging open.
“Do you like it?” He asked, holding out his arms to model his new outfit.
He was wearing khaki shorts like he often did on the weekend, but instead of his usual polo or button up, he had on a bright red shirt that said ‘CHEER DAD’ on the front in silver glitter letters. As if that wasn’t enough, he turned around and I saw the words ‘GO MAX’ on the back in matching silver glitter. It was shocking enough for me to forget I was wearing as much glitter on my face as he had on his new clothing.
“Dad, you are crazy,” I laughed, finally giving him a hug. “I can’t believe you’re wearing that.”
“I’m proud of you Max,” my dad said with a smile. “And when I saw they sold these on the gym website I knew I needed one.”
“They really sell Cheer Dad shirts?” I asked, more than a little shocked.
“No,” he frowned. “But I went online and ordered this one from some other cheer site. One of the guys at work saw me looking it up on my phone last week and they’ve been making fun of me ever since.”
I laughed and gave my dad another quick hug, proud he was willing to get made fun of by the other guys in the lab just to show his support. As I finally stepped back and looked past my dad's glitter shirt, I realized both Kyle and Peter were standing by as well. Unlike my dad, however, they were dressed normal. It looked like they had spent most of the day running around outside or even swimming at my house, since they both appeared to have wet hair. Since I had never actually hugged either of them before, I gave them each a high five and thanked them for coming to the showcase.
“What are you wearing?” Kyle asked, looking at my face, hair and outfit with a confused look on his face. “You don’t even look like you.”
“Shut up Kyle,” Peter warned his little brother. “This is what cheerleaders wear when they perform.”
“Yeah, but she’s wearing makeup,” Kyle pointed out in case no one had noticed it yet.
“I see that,” Peter replied with an eye roll before turning to me with a smile. “You look great Max. Really. Like, amazing.”
“Thanks,” I said simply. “If you guys want to find seats I think we're getting ready to start.”
The words were barely out of my mouth when TJ came over the microphone and began welcoming everyone to the gym. As he spoke, friends and family members found their way to seats, and all of the cheerleaders hurried to sit down on the floor near the blue mat we would all be performing on. TJ went over a long welcome and thank you speech, letting everyone know that camp was a success and that he was proud to introduce this year's teams. And just like that the performances started.
Each performance began with a few minutes warm up while the coaches talked about the team, explained new things at the gym, or even gave away prizes to the people attending the showcase. The warmups were usually just the athletes doing a few tumbling passes or a certain stunt from the routine, basically just to make sure they were all stretched and ready to go. But then, as soon as they were done jumping around and shaking out their muscles, everyone would find their spot and wait for their music to begin. The music for every routine was similar to the counting song we used at Blast team practices. It kept everyone on beat and on track to perform since the routines were still being learned and changed for most squads. A few teams skipped parts of their routine or would mark out things like the jumps or tumbling. Other teams tried everything, even going for hard stunts that would end up falling or looking super shaky. It was clear that the day was about showing parents the start of the season, not the perfected product.
“Up next, we have the ladies of Blast, our junior level 3!” TJ called out, notifying all of us on the squad to get up and head to the mat.
I moved on autopilot, not really sure what I was doing. There were so many people watching, and for the first time I was able to really see just how many sets of eyes would be watching me perform. I could feel my hands start to shake and it felt like breathing was taking a lot more effort than usual. Standing on the corner of the mat, I tried a roundoff back tuck to warm up and barely made it around enough on the back tuck to land on my knees. The second I stood up, Lexi was at my side.
“Are you okay?” She asked me immediately.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I nodded as I headed back to the corner to try again.
“I don’t mean because of your fall,” she said, grabbing my arm to stop me in my tracks. “I can tell you're nervous.”
“You mean you're not?” I challenged her, trying to take a breath and ignore the urge to freak out.
“Sure,” Lexi shrugged. “But this isn’t about everyone out there. This is about everyone here on the mat. You and me and the other girls are the only people that matter for the next three minutes. As long as I have my teammates holding me up and know what c
ount I’m on, then I just pretend no one is out there watching and I just do what I’ve been trained to do.”
“What if I fall on a stunt or miss a tumbling pass,” I again challenged.
“Then we have the next three months of practice to get it ready before we start competing,” she replied. “And in the meantime, your dad is going to be so proud of you even if you miss every single stunt you try.”
As she said this I glanced over to where my dad was sitting and saw that he was chatting with some of the other parents near him. I knew he was likely telling them who I was, how long I had been cheering, and anything else he could let them know-it showed how proud of me he was. In that moment, I knew Lexi was right. Taking another deep breath, I tried my best to smile back at her.
“Here goes nothing I guess,” I said to her, then waited for my turn to try my tumbling pass again.
Thankfully, I landed the roundoff back tuck without a problem. It gave me a nice confidence boost. The boost was instantly followed by another as I heard my dad cheering for me from across the gym. He was already cheering like he would if I made the winning shot in basketball or scored the final run in a softball game. I found myself loosening up quickly just knowing he was there for me as I faced this brand new experience.
By the time I was standing on my mark for the opening of the routine, I was feeling more and more confident. I knew I could do it, or at least try my best, and show everyone watching that I was more than just someone who walked into the gym and had no place there. As the music started and I began running, jumping, flying, and stunting around the mat, I reminded myself of what Connor had told me. I belonged there. I was a part of a team. And it was time to prove it on the mat.
Before I knew it, the crowd was cheering and we were running off of the mat, girls hugging and trading high fives as we moved to the office to grab water and cool down before the next team started. The entire routine had passed by in such a blur that it wasn’t until I was standing there with the other girls that I was able to stop and think about what had just happened on the mat. I went over all of my tumbling passes and stunts and tried to think about each moment. I never fell, but I suddenly remembered the small mistakes I had made.
“I bobbled my tick tock,” I said out loud, mostly to myself.
“But you stayed in the air,” Lexi said before taking a long drink of water. “I fell three counts too early after the scorpion.”
“You did?” I asked her, shocked to know how oblivious I had been to something happening just a few feet away from me.
“Yeah,” she nodded. “But I hit my twist up without any problem even after struggling with it earlier today.”
As soon as the words were out of Lexi’s mouth, Anna told everyone that she missed part of the dance, and then Halley announced that she missed part of her tumbling pass. From there I could hear girls talking about little things they missed, or parts they weren't super confident or proud of. Aside from Lexi coming down early in her stunt though, everything seemed to be small problems that people were confident they would easily fix in our next team practice. Knowing that made me feel like I wasn’t just a part of something, but rather I was a part of something that was pretty amazing. Even with last second changes, we did what we hoped we could, and made it through the whole routine without a major issue. The thought kept me feeling like I was flying high for the rest of the time we spent watching teams perform.
The second the last team left the mat and Nicole thanked everyone for coming to the showcase, I stood up and raced to where my dad was sitting. As expected, he greeted me with a big hug, lifting me off my feet and spinning me around. I couldn’t help but laugh and smile as he set me down and began telling me how proud of me he was. Peter, Kyle, and quite a few other people that had been sitting near my dad also congratulated me. It confirmed my thought that he had been telling people about me before my team performed.
“When did you learn how to do all those things?” Kyle asked, looking a little shocked at all he had just seen.
“Well,” I said thinking it over. “Some of the stuff I kind of learned at the trampoline park. And then other stuff in my tumbling class. And then in my team practices or at camp this weekend.”
“It was awesome,” Kyle said simply then, giving me his stamp of approval once and for all.
“It really was,” Peter echoed. “I didn’t realize you were going to be able to do that stuff and look like this and really be a cheerleader.”
“Me either,” I admitted. “But it’s not all as hard as it looks. And the girls and coaches on my team have made it really fun. So, it makes the hard work we have to do really worth it.”
“I like that,” my dad cut in, a massive smile on his face.
“What?” I asked, suddenly confused.
“You said “my team”,” he explained. “Before this weekend you referred to it as “Blast” or the ‘team you cheer on.’ I think this is the first time you have actually made it sound like you were really on the team.”
“Oh,” I replied, not expecting his comment. “I guess I feel like I’m really a part of it all now.”
“Does that mean you're not quitting the team?” Peter asked.
I was a little surprised that he knew I’d been thinking about not staying on the team, but I had a feeling it might have come up when my dad had taken them to the gym, or even while I was gone at camp all weekend. Peter and Kyle saw my dad like an uncle, hanging out at my house even when I wasn’t there. So it made sense for them to know about my uncertainness about the team. But the question still made me pause. In that moment, I realized I was finally going to let my dad officially know what I had decided by the time I saw him at the carnival.
“Of course I’m not quitting,” I grinned, before turning to my dad with a serious look on my face. “But I still get my kittens.”
“I know, I know,” my dad laughed as he wrapped me up in another hug. “We can leave whenever you're ready and head to the pet store. Unless you want to go home and change and take off your makeup first.”
“That would take forever,” I said with a mix between a grimace and a smile. “I have so much makeup and hairspray on right now it might be a week before I get it all off. Besides, if I’m going to be a cheerleader I need to get used to people seeing me like this, right?”
The words were shocking to hear myself say, but it was true. I knew I was going to put my gym shorts on over my short red ones, but other than that there wasn’t much I could do but accept how I looked. Deciding to stay at the gym meant I was likely going to be leaving the gym or competitions all decked out more than a few times. It was just part of the cheerleader life, and it was another one of those things I needed to try my best to get used to. I doubted I would head to school wearing all the cheer makeup once the new year started, but going to the animal shelter and then home with my new kittens was fine by me.
“So are we leaving now?” Peter asked.
“I just need to go get my bag,” I explained then turned to head to the office. As I slipped my bag over my shoulder, I turned to see both Halley and Lexi heading my way.
“You’ll be here at practice on Tuesday, right?” Lexi asked, both girls looking at me with very nervous faces.
“I’ll be there,” I said simply, watching as the expressions on their face changed instantly from worry to complete happiness.
Their arms instantly wrapped around me as both girls hugged me while simultaneously yelling and jumping. I dropped my bag and just barely managed to stay on my feet, laughing as Lexi and Halley both celebrated. And, to be honest, I was celebrating with them. It was thanks to them, after all, that I even joined the team in the first place.
“I don’t plan on going anywhere any time soon,” I assured both of them as they finally began to calm down.
As Halley and Lexi began to go on and on about how happy they were and how excited they were for the next week of practice, we walked towards where my dad was waiting. I saw he was talking to Nicole
as I approached, and based on the smile on her face I knew he must have let her know the good news as well.
“Great job today,” Nicole said to me when my friends and I reached where they stood. “And I’m glad to hear you’re going to be sticking around for a while.”
“Thanks. I’m excited to be sticking around too,” I explained to her, a smile quickly filling my face.
“Great,” she grinned in reply. “Well, I’ll let you guys go. I hear you have an exciting afternoon planned. We’ll see you Tuesday Max.”
“Bye,” I called after her before noticing the look on Lexi’s face.
“You need to send me a picture as soon as you pick them out!” Lexi demanded, making an extra pouty face for emphasis. Clearly no one could forget the fact that I was getting kittens once camp was over.
“I will, I promise,” I assured her. “I’ll even post stuff to Instagram if I can remember how.”
“Text me if you get confused,” Halley offered before turning and walking over to say hello to someone who had been at the gym to watch the showcase.
“Well Max, you ready?” my dad asked, pulling his keys out of his pocket for emphasis.
“Yeah,” I said before turning to Lexi one last time. “I’ll see you Tuesday.”
“See you Tuesday!” Lexi said before giving me one final hug and heading off to find her family.
Giving my dad a nod, I turned and headed out of the door he was holding open for me. As I walked outside and into the hot sunny day, I couldn’t help but smile. I was wearing makeup and more glitter than ever before, my hair was done in a style unlike anything I had ever seen in person, and I was wearing clothing more similar to my bathing suit than anything I had ever worn in public. But, in that moment, as I walked with my dad towards Peter and Kyle who were waiting for us by the car, everything seemed to suddenly sink in. I had actually survived the weekend at camp, doing something that no one, myself included, would have ever guessed I would do. Or, to put it all more simply, I was officially a cheerleader.
