“We could figure this out.”
“Not now, we can’t.” When Rachel looked up at him again, there were no more tears in her eyes. “If you’re so intent on keeping this from your grandmother until the very last moment, then all we can do is focus on the work we have to do, and duck out early. That will free you up to say whatever you need to say. And then you can—” She shrugged, picking up Scott, and nuzzled his cheek with her nose. “We can always talk later.”
It hurt him to the core, that small sentence. Jonas, better than anyone, knew that you couldn’t always talk later. Sometimes, later never came. A car went off the road. A plane crashed. A heart stopped. There were a hundred ways to lose out on possible futures.
Rachel picked up the diaper bag and put it over her shoulder. No—no. Time was going too fast, streaming around him in a way that made him slightly dizzy. “I’ll let you know if we need anything else for the scrapbook,” she said.
Jonas wanted to block the door. He had the intense desire to stand in front of her and the equally intense desire to let her be free. Rachel didn’t belong to him. They weren’t together. He wouldn’t stop her from leaving if she wanted to go.
They headed down the stairs, and he helped Scott into his little coat, the hat from the gift shop, and his small mittens. Rachel put on her coat and brushed the black waves of her hair over her shoulders. He had the wrenching vision of having another child with Rachel—a child with her hair, but his nose and his chin—and he found he couldn’t let her walk out without saying something.
“Are you sure?” He bounced Scott on his hip, taking a deep breath of his warm scent. “Are you sure this is the best plan?”
“It might not be the best for you,” Rachel admitted. “But I know it’s the best for me. I can’t—I can’t be here anymore. You understand that.”
It wasn’t a question—more of a wish. She wanted him to understand it. But the ground was shifting under his feet, the planet tilting off its axis, and he had to get it back on track. “No,” he said finally. “You’re right. This is the best for both of us.”
It was the only way to protect his brothers. The only way he could protect Rachel and Scott from any criticism—from the family drama that would ensue. The choice was out of his hands, and one he’d make for Rachel and his son before it got any more out of his control.
Rachel held her hands out for Scott, and he let his son go to her, knowing with a pang that if she left, she might never come back. “Let me drive you back to the resort.”
“No,” she said quickly, a faint smile on her face. “We need a little walk, don’t we, buddy?”
“Walk,” Scott repeated, rubbing at her cheek with one of his mitten-covered hands. He was so cute, unbearably cute. It was unbearable to watch him go, this little boy he’d only just met. “Walk, walk.”
“Goodbye,” Rachel said, and he felt the word down to his bones.
Jonas opened the door for her, the cold sharp on his skin, and she went out, the scent of her lingering in the foyer as a painful reminder of everything he was losing.
12
Rachel had known Jonas liked to be in charge, but he was floundering with his new reality. There had been friction between the two men as they sat in Jonas’s living room, and she’d heard it in his voice. I don’t know echoed in her mind over and over. He didn’t know what? What to do about her and Scott? Or his plan of action? Or any of it?
She shook her head and focused on the self-service machine at the print shop. This was the last of the photos, and she shifted Scott on her hip as she pressed the buttons on the screen. The sooner she could get these photos in hand, the sooner she could be done with the scrapbook, and they could leave.
Leave Jonas. Leave his family. And leave the Elk Lodge, a place that was becoming more and more complicated.
“Just a few more minutes, buddy,” she murmured. “Then Mommy will figure things out.”
“Mama,” he said. “Walk.” Scott’s loved the outdoors and used every opportunity to make sure they spent time outside. This place had been idyllic for him.
“We can’t right now, but soon.” Rachel finished the last of pictures and walked out of the shop. The snow was falling prettily all around, her son’s face lit with joy as he tried to catch the flakes. She tossed the bag of photos into the front seat of her car before slipping off Scott’s jacket, making it easier to buckle him into his car seat. She tested the straps.
Rachel tucked his jacket over his legs and handed him the ball Jonas had given him for Christmas, hoping to keep him occupied. She slid into the front seat and let out a deep breath. Suddenly, the clouds broke apart, and the sun shone down on the quaint Main Street of the small town she’d fallen in love with. If she lived with Jonas—
She did not live with Jonas. The Elk Lodge wasn’t really her home, though at times she hadn’t been able to keep from wishing it was her home—a place she could always return to. She could only attribute her fondness for the place to the fact that her son had been conceived there. But it was enough, and it wasn’t what she needed. Not in this moment.
Annabeth. Her best friend since fourth grade would be able to give her the perspective she needed. One that wasn’t centered on the Elkin family. Scott played happily in the back seat while she dug her phone out of her pocket and dialed.
“Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays,” Annabeth answered merrily the instant she picked up the phone. “Are you home? Are you ready to escape from your parents’?”
Rachel laughed, part of the knot in her gut unclenching. “I’m not home, actually. I’m at the Elk Lodge.”
A beat of silence passed. “What? Why?”
“Remember when I texted you about that job?” She rushed through the preliminary details—the last-minute hire, the drive to the Lodge—and then dropped the news. “So, it turns out Jonas Elkin, part owner of the Elk Lodge, also happens to be Scott’s dad.”
“What?” Annabeth shrieked. “He is? How? Explain. How.”
“He was the one-night stand.” Rachel put a hand to her forehead. “I thought he was a guest at the Elk Lodge. It’s been—well, it’s been a roller-coaster ride since the minute we recognized each other, and he found out about Scott. Bad, then good, then trying to be professional—” She spilled the whole story to her friend. The portraits. The hiding from his family. The makeup Christmas in his house once Jonas had discovered that she’d cut her own holiday short for the job. The growing bond between father and son. All of it, up to this morning—what she’d overheard, and how she’d left. “It’s just—I can’t avoid him.” Her throat went tight with emotion. “I can’t avoid him forever, and I won’t prevent a man from seeing his son, but I can’t stay here. I’m leaving early.”
“Yeah,” said Annabeth. “I can see why you’d want to do that.”
“I want my own space,” Rachel burst out. “I want to be able to negotiate with him from a position of strength. Not from the middle of his family’s resort—a place he controls, I might add.”
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do,” pointed out Annabeth. “Is he being—Rachel, be honest. Is he threatening? Too pushy?”
Rachel closed her mouth and closed her eyes, thinking back over the past several days. He’d been nervous, yes. Shocked, yes. Thrown off-balance, yes. “He’s been high-handed at times,” she said slowly. “He’s used to managing things, but no, never domineering, threatening, or insulting. He loves Scott.” The truth dropped from her lips so easily that it shocked her. She opened her eyes and looked in the rearview mirror at her son, who was still playing with the ball from Jonas, utterly content.
“Does he?” Annabeth asked softly.
“He really does,” Rachel admitted.
“How do you feel about that?”
“Good,” she said slowly. “I feel good about it. They’ve spent more time together these past few days than I would have expected, and he’s—Scott loves him, too. They have a connection.”
Annabe
th sighed, and it was like the two of them were back in her hometown bedroom, sharing secrets about the school day. “Rachel, you know I love you.”
“I know you do,” she said.
“And that’s why I feel compelled to say that you can’t punish everyone for Daniel’s mistakes.”
Rachel scoffed. “Those weren’t mistakes. He was a jerk.”
“I’d argue that being a jerk is a long-term mistake,” Annabeth countered. “Look, I know you’ve been burned before, but if you never give anyone a chance because they might be like him, then it’ll be a self-fulfilling prophecy.”
“Ugh.” Rachel didn’t like how right Annabeth was at that moment. “Maybe you’re right. I guess the only way to find out if Jonas is trustworthy is to trust him. At least a little bit.”
“Haven’t you already trusted him a little bit?” wheedled Annabeth. “Just a little?”
“I’m ending this conversation now,” Rachel said, laughing. “I have to get some work done.”
“Do the right thing,” Annabeth said, getting in the last word before she ended the call.
* * *
Jonas had to see her. Couldn’t let her leave this way. He’d tried everything in his power to let her make the decision. He’d gone to his office and pretended to work. Walked the halls of the Elk Lodge, looking for anything that needed his attention. And walked the empty halls of his home.
Nothing helped.
The more he pictured them driving away without a final goodbye, the more his gut twisted into knots. And yes, it would call attention to their situation if the two of them stayed at his house, but he couldn’t let them leave without offering. Not now.
He went up to her suite and stood outside the door, trying to calm himself. Rushing into this like a desperate fool wouldn’t help matters, even if he was a desperate fool.
Jonas knocked. There was no sound coming from inside, and he worried for one heart-stopping moment that he was too late.
The door swung open, and Rachel answered with a finger to her lips. “He’s finishing up his nap,” she whispered.
Jonas stepped into the room and shut the door with care. The desperation rose again in the quiet. He could take her hand right now, and the three of them could go up to his grandmother’s apartment and tell her the truth. Jonas’s eyes landed on the scrapbook that lay open to a half-finished page. “Do you think you could take a break from work?”
She raised her eyebrows. “A break?”
“Don’t leave quite yet.” He motioned to the windows. “It’s a beautiful day. I thought we could take Scott sledding. He has snow clothes, and I have sleds.”
“Mama,” called Scott from the bedroom.
Rachel left the room to get him.
Jonas’s heart had never beat so fast or hard in his life. He knew what he was asking for—more time—and the wait for her answer was crushing him. But he’d survive it. What he wouldn’t survive was Rachel and his son disappearing into the world without him.
She returned in a moment, and once again, he was struck by how gorgeous she was—black hair in a low bun, willowy frame draped in comfortable jeans and a soft shirt, stunning blue eyes. And Scott. Scott was the blonde boy Jonas had been when he was a toddler, down to the point of his chin.
“Dada,” Scott said, pointing a chubby baby finger at him.
It melted Jonas’s heart. He didn’t move, not wanting to break the moment. But Rachel crossed the room toward him, and Scott leaned out.
Rachel let out a deep breath, as if coming to a decision. “We could go sledding,” she offered.
Jonas saw the gift in her eyes. Time. Something infinitely more precious than he’d realized.
Thirty minutes later, after a quick snack for Scott and five minutes of bundling up, they were outside in the snow. Jonas buckled Scott into one of the children’s sleds from the ski shed. His son laughed, pointing at everything that caught his attention as Jonas pulled him along, Rachel close by his side. Like a family.
They took the same trail they were used to, up next to the ski hill. Skiers whizzed past on the other side of the trees, the sun catching on the tops of the skis. The path split in two directions toward the top—one going to the peak of the ski run, and the other to the quieter woods.
Rachel went left, and Jonas followed. The only sound in this part of the forest was the sled pressing on fresh snow and the fall of their footsteps. They curved down the side of the hill, gentle twists and turns that made it easy to feel like Jonas had transported them somewhere else entirely—somewhere far from the Elk Lodge, away from the pressures of his family and the singing tension between him and Rachel.
“Stop,” she said suddenly, pausing at a rise in the snow that formed a natural landing. From here, they could look out over the untouched part of the resort—the part kept undeveloped. A place where visitors could appreciate a taste of the calm serenity of the wilderness.
Rachel turned her blue eyes on him as the sled came to a stop. She leaned in, rising on tiptoe, and kissed Jonas on the lips. The warmth of her was a pleasant shock out here in the cold, and he kissed her back, relishing her sweetness and her passion and the way she didn’t seem to hold anything back when they kissed.
“Oh—” she said softly and began to pull away.
He pulled her back, a hand on her waist, and this time she melted, falling against him. Rachel made a soft sound in the back of her throat and slipped a gloved hand up the side of his face. Jonas reached up and tugged off the glove. Her skin was a balm against his cheek, and she laughed against his mouth. “My hand’s going to freeze.”
“I won’t let it,” he murmured and bent to kiss her again. He could feel her giving in, feel the distance between them shrinking, and Jonas wanted more than anything to get a second chance. A third chance, he supposed. The second chance had already been in progress since the moment Rachel arrived at the Elk Lodge.
“Walk,” commanded Scott, his voice high and excited. “Walk.” He leaned forward in the sled, screwing up his face in concentration, and Jonas hauled himself bodily away from the kiss and back into the real world. It took incredible energy to put space between himself and Rachel, who was flushed and bright-eyed, her breathing shallow. He handed her the glove, then turned back to Scott.
“We’re going to keep walking,” he said. “For as long as you want.”
“Forever?” Rachel asked, falling in step beside him.
“I thought eventually we could end up at my place,” he said, throwing his hopes out to the universe—and to Rachel. “I thought you could stay with me tonight. For one more night, at least.”
Her eyes settled on his, and hope took flight. Please say yes. Please don’t pack up Scott into the car and go.
“One more night,” Rachel agreed.
13
When they arrived back at Elk Lodge, Jonas tried to say his goodbyes.
“No,” said Scott, diving for him. “No. No.” He wrestled himself out of Rachel’s arms, and she put him on the floor. His son came over, clinging to Jonas’s leg.
Jonas flicked his eyes to hers, asking a silent question before he picked Scott up. “I could take him to my place while you worked on the scrapbook,” he offered. “You could also stay for New Year’s if you wanted.” She knew what he was asking.
Her conversation with Annabeth echoed in Rachel’s mind. Part of this was about trusting Jonas, and she already trusted him with Scott. The rest was learning to trust him for herself. And it was much harder to put together a scrapbook when her son demanded her attention. “That sounds good,” she said. “Let me grab the diaper bag. And I’ll think about New Year’s.”
The three of them went up to her suite, and Rachel put some fresh clothes into the bag and handed it over to Jonas. “We’ll see you in a while?” he asked.
“As soon as I’m done with the book.” She hadn’t missed the look of hope in Jonas’s eyes as she kissed Scott’s cheek and ruffled his hair.
In the quiet after the two left,
Rachel sat down at her desk and got to work with the photos. The work of arranging them was habitual enough to set her mind free. There really was no reason for her to stay at the resort after she finished with the scrapbook, other than the fact Jonas had asked her to stay. He wanted her to stay. And if Rachel was truthful, she wanted to stay too.
Once this project was finished, they’d have more breathing room to figure out if there was a path for all of them to move forward. Or should she just go and do what she’d told Annabeth she wanted—negotiate terms from her own home? But that meant Scott wouldn’t see Jonas as often as he deserved to see his father.
It was a tough decision, one she almost wished she didn’t have to make. But it was her choice and her life. Rachel put the photos into their layouts and chewed at her lip, trying to commit to a decision she could live with. Her heart wanted to stay. That was obvious from the way it fluttered whenever she thought of Jonas, and sleeping next to him, and waking up in his bed.
A knock at the door made her hand slip on one of the photos, and she hissed, pressing it back into place. “Just a minute,” she called. Rachel took her time making sure the photo was perfect, then went to see who was there.
She pulled the door open to find Jonas’s brother, Gabe, standing in the hall. With his hands in his pockets and a determined set to his jaw, his expression was a good indicator this wasn’t a happy social call. “Hey, Gabe. What can I do for you?”
“You know, I—” He looked away, seeming to gather his thoughts, and when he looked back at her, she was nearly knocked backward by the depth of the suspicion in Gabe’s eyes. “My brother doesn’t normally get involved with people. His entire life has been the Elk Lodge.”
“I know that,” she added. “I know how important this place is to him, and his family—”
“Is that what this is about? Family?” He kept his tone even, but Rachel could tell he was carrying a weight. “Listen—I did some digging when Chase told me the truth about your son. I have reason to believe you might be in a bit of a situation financially. Is this about my brother’s money? Because if it is—”
The Billionaire’s Christmas Son: Elkin Brothers Christmas Book Three Page 8
