by Gail Dayton
So, okay. This was it. Marilyn was ready for him to leave. He had to plan things out. Make arrangements. Figure out what to say to her. Maybe if he practiced the rest of the way home, he could say it without cracking.
Marilyn went back home after taking the boys to school that morning. She didn't have the energy to go into the shop. The ringing of the phone brought her out of her chair to answer, heart in her throat. Eli? Or the highway patrol to tell her--?
The background static and tentative nasal voice of a telemarketer infuriated her. She slammed the phone down before two words were spoken. How dare they--? Then her eyes lit on the microwave clock. It was twelve thirty-two.
The morning was gone. It had sifted away while she sat at the kitchen table, not thinking, not doing anything, drifting in limbo.
No. She would not let it happen again. Marilyn wasn't the same person she'd been after Bill and Kevin died. She was stronger now, stronger than she'd been before she lost so much, because she had survived.
It would hurt when Eli said goodbye, whether it was today or next week or next month. Even if she fell deeper in love with him for every day that passed. She would survive his leaving. And she wouldn't regret a second of their time together.
Lots of widows never had the chance to love another man, and here she had three more to love. If the pain was coming anyway, she'd be stupid to pass up the chance to grab some joy to go with it. No more stupid cowardice. She was brave. Strong. She could do anything. Maybe even tell Eli how she felt.
Or maybe not. She wasn't sure she was that strong. Oh God, she didn't know what to do. She didn't want him to feel pressured, and yet...
He did say...
Marilyn yanked the bucket and mop out of the pantry. If Eli didn't get home soon she would go crazy. But the floors would be clean. She intended to make herself so busy she wouldn't lose another second of time.
It still lacked an hour of school getting out when Eli powered the Harley up the steep hill to Marilyn's house at the top. He'd been back in Pittsburgh a while, planning out what to say, putting the moment off, until he realized things needed to be settled before the boys were brought into it.
He rode into the gravel drive, turned the engine off and looked up to see Marilyn crossing the soggy lawn toward him.
"I tried to catch you yesterday," she was saying. "Ran out here in my bare feet, but you didn't hear me."
Eli nodded, holding up his hand to end her flow of speech, keep her at a distance. She halted a few feet away, her red sweater a bright spot in the gray April afternoon. She was so beautiful, so soft and warm. It was killing him not to touch her, but that was what she wanted.
He gripped the handlebars of his bike, staying astride, hoping it would help him maintain control. "I got something-- Let me get this all out at once, okay?"
Marilyn's hands twisted together and she bit her lip, but she nodded.
"Okay, so." Eli took a deep breath and prayed he wouldn't forget his speech. "It's time I left, right? But Pete's already been in three schools this year and doesn't need to be starting a new one. And Steve's doing good in his school. I had a talk with him yesterday. I think he'll be okay, except he probably should talk to somebody--you know--professional.
"They should stay here, with you. They're both crazy about you. You're the kind of mom they need. The kind of mom they should've had all along. So I hope you'll think seriously about adopting them, Pete and Steve."
"Oh, Eli, no--" She started forward, but stopped again when he put up his hand.
"Hear me out, okay? I'm not saying I'm giving up my rights. Hell, I'll adopt Steve too, if you think I should. But if you're the one they'll be living with, I think you should be their mom officially. I--" He paused, looked down at his hands fidgeting with the gas cap, unable to watch her stricken face any longer. She was just worried about the boys.
"I'll go ahead and move down to the shop," he said, "until I figure out what I'm going to do about that. So, anyway--"
"Don't go."
His head jerked up and he looked at her. She'd moved closer when he wasn't looking, close enough he could stretch out his hand and touch her.
"Stay," she said. "Please?"
"Marilyn--" He couldn't take this. Especially when she bit the lip he wanted so desperately to kiss. "It's best I move on."
"Best for who? It's not best, Eli. Not for the boys. Not for me. I want you to stay. I missed you so much while you were gone. It felt like forever, and it was just one night. I can't--" She reached for him, pulled back before touching him, and it hurt bad. "You promised, Eli. You promised you'd stay as long as I want."
Marilyn put her hands over her mouth, eyes opening wide. "I didn't mean to say that. I can't do that to you, make you stay when you want to leave. But... Don't you want to stay?
He let his head fall back on his neck, hunting strength. "It's not about what I want, Marilyn."
"What is it about then?" She shook her head, waving her hands as if erasing her words. "Wait. No, before this goes any further, there's something you have to know."
The churning in his stomach got even more frantic. How much worse was this going to get? "What?"
"I'm not being fair to you. It's making me act crazy and you don't know why, and I'm such a coward, and I'm not going to be a coward any more, and you deserve to have all the facts before you many any decisions and--"
"Marilyn." He broke in, feeling the urge to smile though his heart was in a million ragged pieces. "You're babbling. You never babble. Relax."
"I--" She took a breath and huffed it out again. "You're right. I'm just so nervous."
"Nothing to be nervous about. It's just me."
She puffed out another breath of air. "Okay, then. So, here it is." Marilyn sucked her whole bottom lip into her mouth and let it out again. "The thing is, if you stay--or even if you don't change your mind and you go, you should know that..."
God, he loved her so much. Even now, when he hurt so bad. He reached up, touched her cheek, spoke gently. "What should I know, Marilyn?"
Her eyes held his. "I'm in love with you."
He jerked back as if scalded, shook his head, denying the insane possibility. "No. You can't be. My God, look how bad I screwed up your life. I got you--"
"Don't you dare say one word about what Flash did," she interrupted, eyes blazing lightning. "That was not your fault, and I will--I'll smack you if you try to say it is."
"I still ripped your family apart."
"Big deal. I don't care. I love you, Eli."
She didn't. She couldn't. Could she? Honestly?
"If you love me, then marry me. Right now. Get on the back of this motorcycle and we'll go downtown and get married."
The words came out of his mouth without him knowing he had any intention of saying anything like that. But when he said them, they sounded right. Felt right.
"M-m-- You want to marry me?" Marilyn finally managed to say whole words.
"Damn straight." Suddenly he wanted it more than anything he'd ever wanted in his whole entire fucking life.
"But I'm--I'm thirty-nine. I'm boring."
Eli caught her wrist and pulled her closer. He wanted her on the bike. "And I'm twenty-five. I know I'm too young for you. I can't--I don't know much, no school, I'm not--but sometimes, I swear, I feel like I'm seventy-five. I may not have lived very long, Marilyn, but I've lived hard. I'm a hell of a lot older on the inside than I am on the outside. You're not boring to me, but honestly, if you are? There's lots of times that boring sounds damn good to me."
"You really want to marry me?"
"Yes, damn it. Now will you--" He tried to get her on the bike, but she drew back.
"Why?"
"Why? You want me to--? Okay, I want to marry you because you're real. Because you get mad at me when I do something stupid and get hurt. Because you not only love my son, you open your home to another stray kid who needs one and love him too. Because I fell in love with you in a fucking hospital emergency room when
you walked in and ordered me to let the doctors take care of me.
"I kept telling myself I didn't do love, I didn't know how to love anybody, but I was in love with you the whole time. And now I want promises."
Eli caught Marilyn's other wrist and pulled her against him, twisting his body toward her. "If you really love me like you said, then you make me a promise. You promise me in front of a judge, God, or whoever you want that you'll never leave me for the rest of your life. And I'll promise you the same.
"I promise to love you with everything I have in me. You said you wanted it all. Well, babe, I'll give it to you. But that's what I want back from you. I don't break promises and I know you don't either. So, are you going to get on this bike and go downtown and marry me, or what?"
His heart almost stopped beating at the sight of tears streaming down her face. Then she swung her leg up and over the back of the Harley. He had to let go of her hands before she could settle in snug behind him. She wrapped her arms around his waist and laid her head on his shoulder. "Let's go."
"Are you crying?"
"It's a girl thing. Don't worry about it."
"You love me? You're going to marry me?" He had to be sure.
"Yes and yes. So, why aren't we going anywhere?"
"Go in and get your coat. You'll freeze without it. The wind will cut right through that sweater."
She shoved at him. "I thought you were in a hurry."
"Okay, then." Eli put down the kickstand and slid off the bike. Then he turned around and took her face between his hands, wiping away the last of the tears. "I love you. I want to take care of you. I'll go get your coat."
He kissed her. His first time kissing someone he loved, knowing she loved him back. It made his heart feel too big for his chest. "You're sure you love me?" he murmured against her lips.
"With all my heart, forever."
"Oh, God." If he kissed her again, they'd never make it downtown. "Be right back."
Marilyn called her brother from the back of the Harley to tell him to pick the boys up from school. It was hard enough making him understand that much, what with the wind and traffic noise, so she didn't explain why she and Eli couldn't do it.
In the end, it was just as well, because the marriage license had a three-day waiting period attached. They considered finding a judge to get the wait waived, but decided against it. Now that Eli had her promise to marry him, he could wait.
So, on Sunday afternoon, Eli stood in front of the living room picture window wearing a brand-new navy pin-striped suit that looked damn good on him, if he said so himself. Pete stood next to him with Steve on his far side, both of them in sharp new suits looking damn good, with big grins on both their faces.
Detective Jackson was there with his wife. So was Eli's partner Frank with his whole family and some of Marilyn's girlfriends with theirs. Marilyn's sisters weren't there, nor was her mother, but Fitz's daughter had driven him down from Erie the night before, so Eli had family there. And Julie walked down the stairs into the living room to line up on the other side of the preacher as Marilyn, on her brother's arm, appeared.
She took his breath away, she was so beautiful. And his. Forever.
Epilogue
***
Three months later, it was high summer. Marilyn stood on the front steps of the house and looked out at the family and friends gathered on the lawn. They had all come together on this sunny day in July to help celebrate. Today, Marilyn's adoption of Pete as her son became final, along with his name change, adding Court onto the end of all the others. And the first steps toward their adoption of Stevie were accomplished as well.
When they'd broached the idea of adopting him, Stevie had finally given up enough information to track down his drug-addicted mother. The termination of her parental rights had become official today. Final adoption would be set before school started, and Marilyn and Eli would have two sons.
She watched the boys, who were with the other children beside the garage, filling water balloons for the towel volleyball game Julie had planned. Some serious flirtation was going on between Stevie and Frankie Dicenzo's youngest, while the little boys spent more time drenching each other than working on balloons.
Her gaze shifted to Eli, flipping hamburgers on the grill beyond them while he talked with Joey and Terrell Jackson. The detective had become a friend of the family during Eli's campaign to bring down the pedophiles who'd used the services Flash and his father had provided. A dozen men were now in jail, and every arrest seemed to lead to more. The trials were still ahead, but the DA believed many would take plea bargains to avoid the publicity and risk of a trial. Flash already had.
He was serving a life sentence for Teresa's murder, with additional sentences stacked on top for kidnapping Pete and Marilyn and for everything he'd done to Stevie. He'd also confessed to the murder of his father, Fat Fred. The only way Dwayne Gardner was leaving prison was in a coffin.
Eli's partner got up from the picnic table where he'd been sitting, talking Harleys with Fitz, and hobbled over to the ice chest to get the old man another soda. Frank Dicenzo was still a partner in the shop. He came down to work a couple of days a week to give Eli some time off, not in any hurry for the buyout. One of Frank's daughters had recently married a boy interested in engines, so he was working there now, and Stevie spent as many hours at the shop as Eli would let him. Business was good.
Fitz still had to use a cane to get around since his stroke. His right foot never had come back completely, but otherwise he was back to normal. He'd retired, sold his shop and moved in with his daughter. Since she lived in Wheeling, West Virginia, it meant he was closer than before, so Eli and Fitz got to visit often.
Family was important to Eli. He'd started seeing the therapist who'd been recommended for Stevie. Both of them came home touchy as old bears some days, but it seemed to be helping. It had Eli talking about looking up his mother, finding out how she was, what had happened after he left. Maybe even talking things out.
And that had Marilyn thinking about trying to mend fences with her own mother. She hadn't spoken to her since that morning after she got out of the hospital. Mom was the lone holdout in the family. Even her sisters had come around.
Sue, Trey and their youngest were here already. Kate should arrive any minute. In fact, her car was squeezing into the last inch of space on the driveway now. Marilyn waved and started down the steps to greet them. Halfway down the walk, she stopped, stunned. Her mother was getting out of the back seat, holding a pound cake.
"Mom?" Marilyn looked over her shoulder at Eli, who turned his spatula over to Joey and came trotting across the lawn to join her.
"Here." Mom thrust the cake at Marilyn, who handed it to Eli, who handed it to Sue, who faded discreetly away.
"I...Mom." Marilyn couldn't believe she was here.
"I accept your conditions," Mom said.
Conditions? Marilyn frowned. Oh, right. That morning, the last time she'd come over, Marilyn had said Mom was welcome only if she didn't make nasty comments about Eli or Pete. "That includes Stevie, too, Mom."
"You think I would insult my own grandchildren? What kind of person do you think I am?"
Marilyn blinked. This was her mother?
Mom took a deep breath. "I was wrong, okay? I'm sorry."
The demons must be having one hell of a ski party. It had to have frozen over down there for those words to be coming out of her mother's mouth.
"I wanted to keep you from making a mistake," Mom went on, "but--but I was the one made the mistake. I was wrong about you, Eli. You--you're a good man, and you make my Marilyn happy, even if she is robbing the cradle. At least you're married now, thank God. So--so I'm sorry. Thank you for inviting me to the party."
Marilyn shot a quick glance at Eli. He must have done it, because she sure hadn't.
"So." Mom nodded her head, a single brusque motion. "Now. Can I please meet my new grandsons?"
"Sure." Eli slung an arm over her shoulders.
"They're right over here. Hey, Steve! Pete--there's somebody I want you to meet."
One more reason for Marilyn to love him. As if she needed any more.
The sun was already down behind the western hills, the sky holding its light despite the deep shadows on the ground. Marilyn's shorts were still a little damp from all the flying water balloons she and Eli had failed to catch in their towel during the volleyball game. The older kids had gone to see a movie and the younger ones were out front playing "dark tag," some form of tag-cum-hide-and-seek one of them had invented.
The adults were sitting around in lawn chairs and on blankets, telling stories and laughing, snacking on the last crumbs of dessert. Marilyn stood by the ice chest, the last soda in her hand, and realized she didn't see Eli. She put the can back in the ice water and looked around the yard. Had he been roped into Pete's rowdy game?
She started toward the house to look for him when she spotted his silhouette against the light streaming out the back screen door. He was sitting on the steps.
"Hey, handsome." She nudged him with her elbow when she walked up.
"Hiya, gorgeous." Eli caught her hand and pulled her down to sit between his knees on the step in front of him. He folded his arms around her shoulders and leaned down to kiss her in the ticklish spot just under her ear.
"Whatcha doin' sitting here all by yourself in the dark?" She paid him back by blowing in his ear.
"Just..." He sighed, a long sound full of contentment. "Being amazed, I guess. I never knew I could be this happy. Me. Eli Carl Court. I had to sit down over here and let it soak in."
Marilyn rested her head against his chest behind her. "You deserve happiness. I'm glad you found it."
"Only 'cause I found you."
"You sweet-talker, you." Marilyn twisted around to hook her hand around his neck and pull him down into a kiss.
"Oh, geez!" Pete's voice rang out across the yard. "What's with the kissing? Can't a guy get a break around here?"
