I should have just jumped across the seat and kissed him.
But why? Why do what he said to do?
I wasn’t a toy. I wasn’t a puppet.
I reached for his hand though.
My hands cupped his right hand.
“Here,” I whispered. I pressed my lips to the back of his hand. “There’s your kiss. Now you can go fuck yourself, Barr.”
I dropped his hand and backed away.
I slammed the door shut and started to walk.
Even if I showed up late to BFH it was better than being under Barr’s control.
Barr turned around and slowly passed me by, puckering his lips and laughing.
Asshole.
Hot asshole.
Sexy asshole.
He was really going to mess with my mother for a stupid kiss?
Barr sped off and I stood there, wondering what the hell I had just done.
I guess it all depended on whether Barr was telling the truth or not.
Just how powerful he and the others really were.
I already knew the answer to that though.
* * *
I opened my locker and found three red lollipops waiting for me.
I wasn’t sure what that meant, other than something very dirty.
Ignoring the lollipops and the thoughts in my head, I shut the locker and waited for Beth.
She didn’t show up.
At least not right away.
And when I did see her, she was walking down the hallway with Denny.
His right hand was in a black cast.
He looked tired and a mess.
Beth looked at me and I gave a wave.
She mouthed to me I’m sorry and cringed.
I tried to wave her off, letting her know it was okay.
I mean, but was it okay?
What had Denny actually done to get the attention of the Rulz? They said it wasn’t just because of me. But who the hell knew what to believe when it came to them?
I cut through the hall and went to Gi’s locker.
“Hey,” I said.
“Tell me what I heard is true,” she said.
“What did you hear now?”
“You were riding with Barr this morning.”
“Oh… that…”
“And then you weren’t with him when he got here,” Gi said with a grin. “Here I thought you were a good girl… but you’re in bed with the devil.”
“Nobody is in bed with me,” I said. “He offered to give me a ride.”
“I bet he did.”
“Gi…”
“That’s what they do, Ti. They make it like an honor thing, you know? Like we should be honored that they want one of us.”
“I’m untouched, Gi,” I said.
“Of course you are,” Iris said from behind me. “And here I thought I liked you.”
I turned. “Do I need to get my screwdriver again?”
“Go ahead,” Iris said. “Fuck up my car. Try me.”
“I’d stab your ass with it but you’d probably like that,” I said.
“Only when she’s drunk,” Gi muttered.
Iris put up the middle finger on her left hand and waved it at Gi. “At least I don’t get dumped for being a prude.”
“Having standards isn’t being a prude,” Gi said.
“Whatever,” Iris said. She looked at me. “What happened to the bad ass carving out Blair’s car?”
“None of your business, Iris,” I said.
“Hey, our new girl here…,” Gi said, putting an arm around me. “She got a ride from Barr.”
“Oh yeah?” Iris asked.
“Picked her up at home,” Gi said. “But he arrived at school alone.”
“Damn,” Iris said. “Badass mode back on. What’d you do to him to get that ride?”
“Nothing,” I said. “Which is why I walked the rest of the way. I don’t fall for that stuff.”
“Dangerous,” Gi said.
“Seriously,” Iris said. “There are a lot of girls here who would give anything to be you, Ti. I mean that. So many rich bitches around here are dying to get their attention. And you have it. Locked right in.”
“But it doesn’t make any sense. Why?” I said.
“Who cares?” Iris asked.
“She’s got a point,” Gi said. “You can ask questions later.”
“Or just not get too close,” I said.
“Too late for that, Ti,” Iris said.
I felt my butt vibrate from my phone.
When I looked, it was Mom.
“I have to take this,” I whispered. “I’ll be back later.”
I rushed through the hallway toward the closest door.
Once outside, I took the call from Mom.
“Hey,” I said. “I’m supposed to be going to class.”
“They’re shutting the place down,” Mom said.
“What?”
“I just heard about it,” Mom said. “I’m not done with this yet. I’m not done here. I can’t leave here.”
“Wait a second,” I said. “Who…”
I gritted my teeth.
Barr.
I had no clue what he did or why or how.
“They’re talking about finding new places for us,” Mom said. “I need to talk to Claire. Maybe I can stay with her. You’ll help me. Right?”
“Stop freaking out,” I said.
“I can’t fucking help it,” Mom yelled. “I’m coming off this shit. I haven’t had… goddammit…”
“Okay, thrown okay,” I said. “I’m sorry. Take a breath, Mom. Take a deep breath and relax.”
“If I get out of here, I can’t do it,” she said. “I’ll admit it, Tinsley. I can’t fucking do it. I already know where to go. Who to call. I’m shaking thinking about it.”
My entire body shook with rage.
At everyone.
At everything.
“I’m going to lose it for good if I leave here, Tinsley,” Mom said. “I’m telling you right now. You need to figure something out. And not through Claire either. Forget what I said before. No. We don’t need her fucking money for this. Maybe she did this. To get back at us.”
“Get back at us for what?” I asked.
“I stole stuff from her a long time ago. Don’t you see it, Tinsley? This is the perfect setup.”
Mom rambled. Strung out. Looking for a fix. Coming off the crap that almost took her life. All of this I had seen before. When she’d get super mad, super sick, super mean, lash out, be paranoid… and then eventually just fall right back into it all.
“Are you even fucking listening to me?” she yelled through the phone. “Are you going to fucking leave me too? Knew you would.”
“Shut up,” I whispered.
“What?”
“I said…” I cleared my throat. “Shut up.”
“Real nice thing to say to me,” Mom said.
I stared forward and couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw Barr standing in the parking lot, leaning against his SUV, smoking a cigarette.
The stupid, cocky asshole.
Somehow making this happen.
And it wasn’t like I had a mother who would have an ounce of rationality to her.
She kept screaming into the phone.
Even as I hung up on her.
I wasn’t even sure if she was allowed to have her phone while she was at the rehab place. And I didn't want to know how she got access to it.
But I did want to know how Barr pulled this off. Who he really was. Who they all were.
And all it was going to take was one little kiss.
* * *
I walked toward Barr and he acted as though he didn’t see me. Just casually turning this head left to right. Smoking his cigarette.
Douchebag bad ass…
And I was going to kiss him.
I was going to kiss him so fucking hard he’d blow his load standing there and that would be that. He could push at me and I would push right fucking
back.
This was now my time to send a message.
As I closed in on Barr, I licked my lips.
I needed to jump up at him. There was no reaching his lips, even if I was on my toes. The element of surprise wasn’t on my side. But that was fine. He was probably thinking I was going to smack him. Which he deserved too. That would come later.
I was maybe a foot from him when I reached for him.
I was going to grab his shirt and pull.
But Barr being Barr… he moved faster than me.
In one swift move he flicked his cigarette away, exhaled a cloud of smoke, and grabbed me by my waist.
He picked me up like I was a feather and turned, pinning me against the side of his SUV.
“Yeah?” he asked with his honey gold eyes ripping through me like a wave to a sand castle.
“Fuck,” I said.
I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his.
They were soft, maybe perfect, but that didn’t matter.
I pulled back and then kissed him again.
Shit, no. Ti… no…
I went for a third one and Barr took over.
Fuck.
His hands raced up my body, holding my sides. Not enough to touch my breasts but close enough to leave me wanting it.
His lips parted and mine did the same to match him.
I tasted smoke.
It was disgusting.
Absolutely disgusting… but I wanted more.
The way he kissed was nothing I knew could exist.
My hands touched his broad chest.
Then I made fists and pounded to get him away.
Barr broke the kiss without hesitation.
I licked my lips again and tasted him.
“Warned you,” he whispered.
“I fucking hate you. And I will always fucking hate you.”
“I know that,” he said.
He moved at me, kissing me again.
This time it was harder. It was sloppier. It was…
Fuck.
I moved my hands to his face and clawed at his perfect cheekbones.
I wanted to rip all the rich assholeness out of him and step on it.
But he was so good at kissing.
I hated myself for thinking it was well worth it.
Because it wasn’t.
This wasn’t worth it.
This was my message to send. Not the other way around.
I broke the kiss this time, turning my head away.
I gasped for a breath.
The tip of his nose touched my neck and I lifted my shoulder.
“Get the fuck away from me, Barr,” I said. “You got what you wanted. Now fix what you did.”
Again without hesitation, he listened to me.
He dropped me to my feet.
But I was still stuck between him and his SUV.
He looked down at me.
I hated that he was so sexy. In that rich yet dirty boy kind of way. It was so gross that he smoked yet I was the dumb girl attracted to it. Against any and all judgement.
Not to mention everything he did and said.
My mind started to play the songs he had been playing on the piano.
There was a story behind his eyes.
But it wasn’t my story to get.
Barr lowered his mouth down and I put my head back, accepting the kiss.
Towering over me, his tongue dipping into my mouth. Dirty to clean. Mixing everything together.
He made fists and punched them to the side of his SUV.
Then he lowered his head and broke the kiss.
I smelled his hair.
Shampoo and cigarette smoke.
My knees were weak but I was still standing.
“I’ll take care of it, love," he whispered. “Now walk the fuck away before I do something else.”
“I’ll walk away on my own,” I said. “You were the one who begged for a kiss from the dirty, poor girl with the junkie mom. Remember that.”
I moved away from him and made it two steps before he grabbed me by my arm.
Really tight.
But not in a hurtful way.
It was… protective.
“You don’t need that shit in your life, Ti,” he said.
“What shit? Three assholes fucking with my life?”
I looked back at him.
He curled his lip. “It’s not your problem to keep her veins clean.”
Barr let my arm go and reached for his cell.
I slowly walked away, looking back over and over, trying to make sense of it.
He had so much power.
And maybe a little of that over me…
thirteen
“Can we speak for a second?”
Claire stood high above me as I sat at the edge of the pool with my feet in the water.
“Of course,” I said.
I started to move but she put a hand out. “Don’t move. Enjoy the pool. I never use it. It’s just for show.”
“Okay.”
Next to me my phone screen lit up with a text from Gi.
The hottest rumor going around BFH was my tongue fucking episode with Barr.
I was now suddenly two levels higher up on the social rich bitch food chain.
Gi said I was a god with nice tits.
Iris even text me saying me and her were now best friends.
But they didn’t know the truth behind that kissing.
“Your mother reached out to me,” Claire said.
“Oh?”
“You two had a fight over the phone?”
“Something like that,” I said. “She called me and… I’m used to it. I shouldn’t have answered. But…”
“It’s your mother,” Claire said.
“Yeah.” I took a deep breath. “Look, she gets like this. I’ve been through the process before. More than once. I know anything she says right now isn’t really her.”
Claire shook her head. “You are such a strong and beautiful person, Ti. You know, I think back to when you were younger and it really hurts that I didn’t have the chance to raise you.”
That comment was half comforting and half awkward.
So I smiled.
A foolish smile.
Claire cleared her throat. “Hey. I just wanted to tell you she reached out to me. To apologize for whatever was said. I guess they were trying to switch rooms for her and she got upset. She said she’s staying put and everything is the way it’s supposed to be. That whatever she said to you was a rumor.”
I nodded.
Fucking Barr… he made one phone call to cause this mess and then made another to fix it. And I still couldn’t stop thinking about his lips against mine. Or his tongue…
“Are you okay?” Claire asked.
“Tired,” I said. “It’s really nice out here. It’s sort of putting me to sleep.”
“Good. Of anyone I know you should be the one relaxing.”
“Well, here I am,” I said. “Hey, Claire, would you mind if I invited some friends over?”
“Of course not,” she said. “My rules are what you would expect them to be.”
“I understand.”
I grabbed my phone and one text later, Gi and Iris were on their way over.
It felt weird meeting them at the front door of Claire’s mansion. This wasn’t my home. This wasn’t my life. But these were my friends. Sort of.
“What a fucking place,” Iris said as she looked around the foyer.
“And where do you live?” I asked.
“Not like this,” she said. “But we are right on the ocean. Can’t complain.”
“Don’t listen to her,” Gi said. “She’s filthy rich.”
We stopped in the kitchen to get something to drink. And then it was out at the pool where I tried my best to explain the whole Barr’s tongue versus my tongue situation.
I sat on the top step of the pool while Iris leaned against the railing. Gi sat with her legs crisscrossed, leaning forward, mes
merized by the story.
I left out a few details here and there.
“You kissed him for revenge,” Iris said. She slow clapped. “You are amazing, Ti.”
“I don’t feel it,” I said. “I feel dirty.”
“But a hot kind of dirty,” Gi said. “You seriously walked right up on one of the Rulz and went for him.”
“Kind of,” I said. “He took control…”
“Expected,” Iris said.
“So what now?” Gi asked. “I mean… what now?”
“Nothing,” I said. “Trust me. It’s completely and utterly nothing. I just wanted to prove my point that I wasn’t someone they could just push around.”
“Oh, Ti, I think you’re in for a rude awakening,” Iris said.
I wanted to know what that meant but before I could speak again Claire came out to the patio.
“Whoa, look at you,” I said to her. “You look amazing.”
“In this?” she asked, playfully throwing out her right hip.
The red dress looked almost painted on her curved body.
Her makeup matched the dress and she looked like something we’d get done for prom.
“Hot date?” Iris asked.
“Business meeting,” Claire said.
“Good luck,” I said. “Sell some… real estate stuff.”
Claire laughed. “You have a long way to go, Tinsley. Maybe someday I’ll show you the ropes.”
“Deal,” I said.
“But first, I just wanted to let you know I’m leaving. Not sure what time I’ll be back. You know what you can and can’t do. The house is never completely empty.”
“And there are cameras,” I said.
“If you want anything made for you or want to order something, I’ll leave a card on the counter. Spend wisely.”
“No buying a car?” Gi asked.
“Depends on the car,” Claire said.
She walked into the house and I saw a man appear.
“Oh, look at that,” I whispered. “Business meeting?”
We all watched as the man touched Claire’s lower back and pointed to lead the way.
“She’s going to have some fun tonight,” I said.
“I hope not,” Gi said.
“Why not?” I asked.
“Hey, Ti,” Iris said with a bitchy grin. “That guy she’s walking with… that’s Pres’s father.”
* * *
“You know I’m going to ask,” I said to Gi as she and I stood just outside the pool.
UNtouched: a bay falls high novel Page 12
